Scene 1: Russell's mansion - Lorena, Bill, Sookie, Tara, Alcide

Lorena: No wonder Bill was drawn to you. You're delicious.

Sookie: Fuck you.

Lorena: I've never tasted anything like you. What are you?

Sookie: I'm the bitch that's gonna kill you.

Lorena: Let me go.

Bill: Sookie. Do it.

Sookie: But...

Bill: Do it.

Lorena: William. I love you.

Sookie: You wouldn't know love if it kicked you in the fangs. (She kills Lorena) Bill? Bill? Help! Help!

Credit

Alcide and Tara arrive.

Tara: Sookie.

Sookie: Shut the door. She had to have the key to the manacles.

Tara: Is he dead?

Sookie: No. He's in real bad shape, but he's...

Tara: You sure? Because he looks dead.

Sookie: He isn't dead! When vampires are dead, this is what they look like.

Tara: Jesus Christ.

Alcide: We've got to get out of here. There's wolves all over.

Sookie: I know.

Alcide: It's only a matter of time before they come.

Sookie: I said, I know. Please, help me wrap him up.

Tara: What? We ain't got that kind of...

Sookie: I am not leaving here without him.

Alcide: Fuck. Let's wrap him up in the tarp.

Debbie: Oh, shouldn't have. Vampire burrito? For me?

Scene 2: In the woods - Sam, a man

Sam is driving in the woods. He stops in front of a man with a gun.

Man: What can I do you for?

Sam: Here for the fights.

Man: What fights? There ain't no fights here.

Sam: No? I was told there was gonna be some dogfighting here, and I was hoping to get in on the action.

Man: You was told, huh? By who?

Sam: Man didn't give me his name. Told him I had money. He told me where I could go to spend it.

Man: Now, you don't strike me as the dogfighting type.

Sam: Well, you got me all wrong, because I love me some high-stakes gambling, and dogfighting's the ultimate sport for me. And once you done it, you realize cards are for pussies.

Man: Well, like I already told you, ain't no fights here.

Sam: Look, I got money to burn. I'll give you some.

Man: Don't you even think about it. You a cop?

Sam No, no, no. I swear.

Man: Show me your gun. If you are a cop, you sure as shit ain't carrying a cop's gun.

Sam: I told you, I ain't a cop.

Man: Turn your shit around and go.

Sam: But...

Man: Do it and I will let you live.

Sam: All right. All right, easy. All right. Easy.

Scene 3: Russell's mansion - Alcide, Debbie, Sookie, Tara, Coot

Alcide: Debbie, just let everybody else go, take the vamp with them. You and me, we can talk.

Debbie: Fuck you. I'm the one with the fucking gun. Ain't no one going nowhere.

Alcide: Sweetheart...

Debbie: I ain't your sweetheart no more. Now give me a minute to think.

Debbie's thoughts: I didn't want to do this. Calm down, Debbie. Pull it together. Fuck, I can't I need some more V. Maybe this vamp still has some blood left in him.

Sookie: Don't even think about it, bitch.

Debbie: Oh, you sure picked a dumb-ass time to call me bitch, bitch.

Tara: Hey now, Sook. Don't do that.

Alcide: Sookie, I got this.

Debbie: You ain't got shit.

Alcide: Ain't no way you're pulling that trigger. This ain't you.

Debbie's thoughts: These people killed my packmates.

Alcide: It's that V talking. This isn't who you are. It's an eye for an eye.

Debbie's thought: Only way they can pay us back is with their lives.

Sookie: Alcide, I've been listening in and she ain't exactly misrepresenting herself.

Debbie: Okay, freak. Your mind-reading shit's getting real fucking old.

Alcide: Debbie. Debbie, look at me. Look at me. You loved me once. I know you did.

Debbie: I'd have given up everything for you, but you wouldn't even give me a baby.

Alcide: Sorry.

Debbie: Oh, you're sorry? What happened to, "I won't bring one of our kind in the world"? It's too fucking late for you to be sorry.

Alcide: It's never too late. You want to talk about it, we can talk about it.

Debbie: Back off.

Tara's thoughts: Listen to me, Sook. I'll take her out when she ain't looking.

Sookie: Tara, don't.

Debbie: There ain't no going back. This is who I am now.

Alcide: No, baby. It's just a scar. We all got scars.

Tara's thoughts: If she shoots him, we're next, and I'm not gonna die here.

Alcide: Give me the gun.

Debbie: That was your last step. You ain't getting another.

Alcide: Debbie.

Tara's thoughts: I don't care what you do, Sook. Just distract her for me.

Sookie screams. Tara pushes Debbie. Alcide takes the gun.

Debbie: Fuck you. Bitch, I'll kill you.

Tara: Go ahead and try.

Debbie: Get off of me.

Coot: What the hell is going on in here?

Alcide shoots on Coot.

Debbie: Fuck!

He kills him.

Debbie: Oh, my God! Oh, my fucking God!

Alcide: Sorry, Debbie. He didn't leave me any choice.

Debbie: You... You had a choice. And you picked the fucking fangbanger over one of your own?

Alcide: Go on. Get him in the van. I'll be right out.

Sookie: Tara, keep the ends wrapped up tight.

Debbie: So, what's it gonna be... sweetheart? You gonna kill me too? You fucking better, because if you don't, I'll sniff you out. I will. I will come after you, and I will hunt you down.

Alcide: I believe you.

Alcide leaves.

Sookie: You got him?

Tara: All the V I got in me is making me strong. Plus, the fucking fanger's lost a lot of weight in blood, so...

Sookie: Is the V making you insensitive as well or is that just you?

Tara: He left me for dead.

Sookie: Well, two wrongs don't make a right.

Alcide: Come on.

Sookie: Close the door. I'm riding in the back.

Tara: He ain't gonna make it. Don't do this to yourself.

Sookie: Close the door!

Alcide: All right, let's go. We got company.

Tara: Oh, shit. (They leave but there are wolves behind them.) You need a faster van. Did you just...?

Alcide: Yeah.

Man: Motherfucker!

Scene 4: Jason's house - Jason, Hoyt, Summer

Hoyt: You all right?

Jason: No, it's just funny. Never really thought I was smart enough to get depressed, but here I am.

Hoyt: Is this still about Crystal?

Jason: Just got all these questions spinning around in my head. I don't know what to do with them.

Hoyt: Like?

Jason: Well, like why is it that I barely know her, but I already love her? And who the fuck is that dick she's living with? And why would someone like her put up with that shit? And also, do you think she's named after the champagne? Because I'm thinking she was.

Hoyt: J, she's from Hotshot.

Jason: Yeah.

Hoyt: She's probably named after that drug that keeps the town afloat.

Jason: No, no way.

Hoyt: I'll bet you 100-to-1 her middle name's "Meth."

Jason: You're a Christian, Hoyt. That ain't cool, to judge.

Hoyt: I know. I'm sorry. Look, I'm just trying to snap you out of it. That's all.

Jason: And I appreciate it, but it ain't gonna work.

Hoyt: Hey, you remember that dealer that you took down last week at the bust?

Jason: I just told you, it ain't gonna work. Reminding me of last week's glory ain't gonna change the fact that this week ain't done shit for me yet.

Hoyt: Well, you think they still got him down at the jail?

Jason: I think so, yeah.

Hoyt: Well, why don't you go down there and talk to him? He's the best shot you got at getting answers about Crystal, and he's just sitting down there at the jail locked up waiting for you.

Jason: That's genius is what that is. Oh, bubba. I knew you and me being roommates wasn't gonna suck forever. Whoo! Ha-ha!

Someone knocks at the door.

Summer: May I come in?

Hoyt: Summer.

Summer: I'm just kidding. I'm not a vampire like your last girlfriend.

Hoyt: Girlfriend?

Scene 5: In the woods - Sam

Sam parks in the woods. He gets out of the car and transforms in a dog.

Scene 6: Jason's house - Summer, Hoyt, Jason

Summer: I baked biscuits. My great-gram's recipe, still warm from the oven, butter churned by hand, and homemade strawberry preserves I picked myself from the church-house garden.

Hoyt: Hm.

Summer: This place could use some sprucing up, huh? What?

Hoyt: Oh, no, nothing. I just wasn't expecting you, that's all.

Summer: I know, and maybe I should have called first. But, Hoyt Fortenberry, I had the most amazing time with you the other night, and then yesterday, I sat by the phone waiting for you to call, and you didn't.

Hoyt: Yeah. I got off of work late, and I should have.

Summer: Because I woke up this morning, it hit me. "Summer," I said, "why play games?" And then I decided that I was gonna declare my feelings for you, and let the chips fall where they may. And if you don't feel the same way about me, well, then that will be your loss. So here it goes. I like you, Hoyt. I wanna be your girlfriend, and I really want you to taste my biscuits.

Hoyt: Uh...

Jason: Those biscuits?

Summer: Mm-hm.

Jason: Oh, mama. Hey, are you Summer?

Summer: You told your roommate about me?

Jason: Summer, these are... I'm telling you, this one here, she's gonna make a great grandmama one day. She's a keeper. Mm, mm, mm.

Summer: Thanks for your vote.

Jason: Oh, you earned it.

Jason leaves.

Summer: You eat, I'll spruce.

Scene 7: Sophie-Anne's house - Eric, Hadley, Sophie-Anne

Sophie-Anne: Hadley.

Hadley: Your Majesty.

Sophie-Anne: I wish you didn't have to see me like this.

Eric: The reason your human is trembling, is because I've let her in on my plan.

Sophie-Anne: Which is?

Eric: Which is to sink my fangs into her and drink until you tell me what it is about Sookie Stackhouse that has so obviously piqued your interest.

Sophie-Anne: Sookie Stackhouse? I have no interest in her.

Eric: And if I drink too much, well, so be it.

Sophie-Anne: Fine. So be it.

Eric: Really? You've kept this one around a long time. Must be some reason for that.

Sophie-Anne: Why do you care about Sookie?

Eric: Because you do. And because my king does.

Sophie-Anne: Your king? Russell Edgington is the most duplicitous vampire in the Americas, maybe the world. You honestly think you can trust him?

Eric: Like I can trust you? The only vampire a vampire can trust is the vampire he made. Mm, mm, mm. I give her three stars. What do you know about Sookie?

Sophie-Anne: Nothing.

Hadley: Stop. I'll tell you.

Sophie-Anne: Hadley, don't.

Eric: The queen's confided in you?

Hadley: Some. But also... Sookie's my... My cous... Cousin.

Eric: Tell me.

Sophie-Anne: Hadley.

Eric: Tell me, tell me. (She wispers something) Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that.

Scene 8: In the woods - Sam, men

Man: Git, git.

Man: Hey, looks like we got a runner. He belong to any of y'all?

Man: Ain't mine.

Man: Look at the size of the balls on that son of a bitch.

Man 2: We can't have dogs running around on the loose. Hey, you. That's right, you little fucker. Who the hell let you out? Huh?

Man: Go get him, Bobby.

Man 2: Look at you, sitting all nice and pretty for me. Heh-heh. Tell you what. You ain't gonna stand a chance in that ring. No, you're not.

He takes Sam the dog.

Scene 9: Alcide's truck - Sookie, Bill, Tara, Alcide

Sookie: Bill? Bill. No. Give me some kind of sign if you're still with me. Oh, no. If you make it through this, you owe me. Come on, baby. Drink. Please. Oh, thank you. Oh, God, thank you so much. Easy. Come on. Oh, my God. Cut it out, Bill!

Alcide: You need to try and relax.

Tara: Relax? I ain't even breathed for a week.

Alcide: Then try to. Take a breath. You need it.

Scene 10: Police station - Jason, T-Dub, Andu

Jason: Greetings, T-Dub. Remember me?

T-Dub: Of course I do. You're the son of a bitch who put me in here.

Jason: I'm a cop.

T-Dub: That's not what I hear.

Jason: I'm almost a cop. And I'm here to interrogate you.

T-Dub: Do I look like a rat to you?

Jason: Ain't nobody asking nobody to rat nobody out. I just... Could you stop pacing like that?

T-Dub: No!

Jason: Look, man, all I wanna know about is Crystal.

T-Dub: My cousin?

Jason: She's your cousin? Then you must know who that asshole she's living with is.

T-Dub: That asshole is my... Oh, you're smart. Well, I ain't saying another word.

Jason: Listen, T-Dub. I don't know Crystal very well, but the little bit I do know her tells me she is a good person in a bad situation. And I think she deserves better, don't you? I mean, you're family.

T-Dub: I'm gonna tell you what you wanna know. But you have got to bring me some meth.

Jason: What the fuck? I-I can't do that, man.

T-Dub: I've been in here without it for almost a week and I cannot fucking take it no more.

Andy: What the hell, Stackhouse? You ain't supposed to be back here.

Jason: Well, I'm just sweeping, you know?

Andy: Yeah? Where's your broom?

Jason: That's a good point.

Andy: Those squad cars need washing again.

Jason: I'm on it, boss.

Jason leaves.

Andy: Shit. Jason fucking Stackhouse. What the fuck am I gonna do?

T-Dub: My heart bleeds for you.

Andy: Why don't you what you do best and shut up.

Scene 11: Alcide's truck - Alcide, Tara, Sookie, Bill

Alcide: I'll be quick.

Tara: Cool. I'm just gonna check on Sook. Hey, Sook. Sook, you all right back there? Shit.

Alcide: She ain't answering? Alcide comes back. Hey. It's still light out. You open that, you're gonna...

Tara: You think I give a fuck?

Bill: What happened?

Tara: You're fucking asking me?

Alcide: We have to get her to a hospital.

Tara: Get out.

Bill: But I can help.

Tara: Get out! Don't you fucking die on me, Sookie. Do not fucking die.

Bill: Damn.

They leave without Bill.

Scene 12: In the camp in the woods - Man, Sam

Man: Boy, you look mean. You sure do mind good. You're gonna roll right onto your back and take it like a little girl later on, ain't you? I'm betting against you. All right, then. Slide on in here, teddy bear.

Sam is in his human form.

Man: What the hell?

Scene 13: Hospital - Dr Sekular, nurse, Alcide, Tara

Someone: Doctor Sekuler to the ER.

Nurse: All right, let's go. All right, BP's dropping. She's gonna palp, let's go.

Nurse to Alcide and Tara: I'm sorry.

Nurse: Get ready to transfuse. Pressure's steady.

Doctor: Two more in.

Nurse: Line is in. Here we go.

Doctor: Piggy-back it. Pressure's good. All right, I'll call the blood bank. Another four units on standby, just in case we need it. She's starting to seize.

Doctor: Okay, got it.

Nurse: Pressure's accelerating.

Doctor: All right, let's get the cart in here. Watch that line.

Doctor Sekular: Miss Thornton?

Tara: How is she?

Doctor: She's lost a lot of blood.

Tara: How much blood?

Doctor: A lot.

Tara: Oh, my God.

Alcide: What about a transfusion? I mean, can't...

Doctor: We tried. Her body rejected it.

Tara: Well, maybe you gave the wrong kind of blood? You checked her first, right? You better not have taken a fucking guess.

Doctor: Your friend doesn't have a blood type.

Tara: What?

Alcide: Everybody has a blood type.

Doctor: Exactly. But for whatever reason, we couldn't establish hers and we are running out of time. So I put in an order for O-negative. O-neg is universal donor. But your friend... I have never seen a reaction like that before. I'm sorry. I'm afraid you're gonna have to notify the family.

Scene 14: In the camp on the woods - Sam, Tommy, Melinda, Joe Lee, men

Man 1: Piece of shit. Don't even die good.

Man2: Bring in the next one.

Melinda: Tommy, Mama loves you.

Joe Lee: Get up, boy.

Man: Fifty dollar riding.

Joe Lee: Go, Tommy. Take it to him, Tommy.

Man: Oh, boy. Motherfucker!

Man2: Git. Go. Git.

Melinda: Come on, Tommy. Let's go. Go on, git.

Man2: Get out of here. Go, go, go.

Ma: Hey, you owe me 500 buck

Man: I don't owe you shit.

Sam: Hey.

Melinda: Hey, son.

Sam: Don't you snarl at me. Good dog. Good, good. Now get the fuck out of here. (To Joe Lee) Give him your clothes.

Joe Lee: Don't you tell...

Sam: Give him your clothes!

Scene 15: Merlotte's - Jason, Lafayette, Tara

Jason: Sorry. Hey, hey, Lafayette. You got a minute?

Lafayette: Last time you came to me all shaky like this, you wanted to buy some V.

Jason: Oh, no. I told you, that shit's behind me. I just need some meth.

Lafayette: What?

Jason: Well, it ain't for me, I swear. It's for this dude who we got in lockup. He's got this information I need, but he'll only give it to me if I get him some meth.

Lafayette: Jason, no. I don't deal no fucking meth. And even if I did, I wouldn't sell the shit to you. And you ought to thank me for it.

Jason: Goddamn it, Lafayette, I'm in love.

Lafayette: With the dude in jail?

Jason: No. With his cousin. (He answers his phone) Hello?

Tara: It's me.

Jason: Tara? You found her? Where's she at?

Tara: It's Sookie.

Jason: What about her? Tara? Say something. You're starting to freak me out.

Tara: We're at the hospital in Ruston. Sook's in a coma, Jason. You need to get here. You need to get here now.

Jason: Sook's in the hospital. Sook's in the fucking hospital.

Scene 16: In the camp on the wood - Sam, Joe Lee, Melinda, Tommy

Melinda: You warm now, son?

Tommy: Little better, yeah.

Sam: Well, now you give a shit. I thought Tara had a shitty mother, but you take the cake.

Joe Lee: Don't talk that way.

Sam: Don't talk to me that way. Like making people scared? Think you're good at it? I can't understand the power you got over them, because I see you for what you are. You're just a scared man in saggy underpants with no discernable life skills whatsoever. Come on, Tommy.

Melinda: Where are you going?

Sam: Taking him with me.

Melinda: What? I can't.

Sam: You can, Tommy. You can be free of them.

Melinda: He's my son. You can't do this to me.

Sam: Oh, yes, I can, and so can he. I thought the Merlottes were the worst people I'd ever met. The two of you Mickens make them look like a coup Dalai Lamas.

You really fucking do.

Melinda: I'm sorry, Sam. I know we let you down...

Sam: You're sorry. Great. Duly noted. Come on, Tommy. You coming with me? Tommy, I can't promise you a perfect life, but I can promise you it'll be better than this one.

Tommy: Yeah, I'm coming.

Sam: All right. Come on, let's do this.

Joe Lee: Don't you worry, Lindy. We'll get him back.

Melinda: I hate you! I hate your fucking guts.

Scene 17: Hospital - Jason, woman, Lafayette, Alcide, Tara, Sookie, Claudine, Bill

Woman: I understand that this is hard, but as the responsible party here, there's certain decisions that you might have to make.

Jason: No. No. I ain't responsible.

Woman: But you are the next of kin.

Jason: Maybe, but I ain't responsible. I mean, I can't be.

Woman: I understand your position, but in the event your sister...

Lafayette: Just leave him alone, please.

Woman: But I...

Lafayette: I said, leave him alone. Go find somebody else's organs to harvest or some shit.

Woman: I'm sorry.

Alcide: I'll smooth it over.

Jason: Thank you.

Lafayette: Listen to me. Fuck her. This shit ain't over.

Tara: Just don't make no sense. How can Sookie not have a blood type? You got one?

Jason: AB-negative. I only know it because I'm always cutting myself with power tools and whatnot. But Sook, she ain't never really been sick before. Definitely never stayed in a hospital. Wasn't even born in one.

Tara: I didn't know that.

Jason: Yeah, our mama was always waiting till the last minute to do everything. And Sook, she was coming out real fast, so there wasn't any time. Our daddy had to deliver her on the dining-room table. Saw more of it than I cared to. You think it's all this vampire blood she's had that did this to her?

Tara: It ain't the blood she drank that did this. It's the piece of shit vampire she drank it from.

Jason: You really kicked him out in the sun?

Tara: Mm-hm. And he's nothing but fucking ash now, and good riddance.

Jason: Hey, Sook. Don't you do this to me. I wasn't playing before when I said you're all I got. I fucking need you. So come on back.

Tara: And I fucking need you too.

Lafayette: Come on, y'all. Stop cussing at her. We're gonna figure this thing out.

Sookie dreams. She wakes up in her room in a dress. She gets out and there's a woman.

Sookie: Where am I?

Claudine: Sookie. You're in the hospital. You can't seem to stay out of trouble, can you?

Sookie: I don't... Do you know me?

Claudine: Come.

Sookie: Who are you?

Claudine: I'm Claudine. Oh, dear. Your cup is empty. We can't have that, can we?

They enter in the fairy world.

Sookie: Oh, Claudine.

Claudine: I know. It's beautiful. Drink.

Sookie: My God. It's the most amazing thing I've ever tasted.

Claudine: You've had it before.

Sookie: Okay, but where did she come from?

Claudine: Oh, don't be fooled. That pond is bigger and deeper than you think.

Sookie: Can we dance?

Claudine: We can always dance.

Sookie: I knew you were gonna say that.

Claudine: And I knew you were going to say that. Come.

Back at the hospital.

Lafayette: I think over again my small adventures, my fears, those small ones that seemed so big. For all the vital things I had to get and reach, and yet there is only one great thing, the only thing, to live to see the great day that dawns and the light that fills the world.

Jason: That's beautiful.

Lafayette: That's because that shit is Inuit. And we all is used to lesser religions.

Back in the fairy world

Sookie: I'm gonna have to sit this one out. I guess I don't have the endurance that you all have.

Claudine: Oh, not to worry. You will one day.

Sookie: You promise?

Claudine: I do. Oh, Sookie. Don't go back. Come with us.

Sookie: Come with you where?

Claudine: Our home. It's more beautiful than anything you can imagine.

Sookie: How do you get there?

Claudine: Swim. Come.

Sookie:'s thoughts: Hate deep water. Mama and Daddy were killed by water. Don't. Can't swim.

Sookie: I can't. See, I never learned to swim.

Claudine's thoughts: Do not fear the water. It wasn't the water that killed them.

Sookie: What? If it wasn't the water that killed them, then what did?

Claudine: The dark approaches. The dark approaches.

Back at the hospital.

Bill: How is she?

Tara: Motherfucker.

Bill: She's dying.

Tara: Thanks to you.

Bill: I can help.

Lafayette: The fuck you c.

Tara: Oh, hell, no. He's the one who did this.

Jason: Shit.

Bill: Jason, there is no time. My blood can save her.

In the fairy world.

Claudine: Hurry. I will see you all at home.

Woman: I've never seen a vampire before.

Claudine: I promise. You don't want to.

Sookie: Bill's not like that.

Claudine: I don't have time to explain why you're wrong. You have to come with us, Sookie. It's not safe for you anymore.

Sookie: Why?

Claudine: He will steal your light.

Sookie: What light?

Claudine: Sookie.

Sookie: No. I'm not going with you. I don't know you.

Claudine: Do not let him take it from you. Promise me.

Sookie: How do I get back from here? Claudine? Claudine!

Back at the hospital.

Jason: Do it.

Tara: Jason!

Jason: Tara, it's my call. Do it. Come on, Sookie.

Scene 18: Sam's car - Sam, Tommy

Sam drives. They are silent.

Scene 19: Fangtasia - Magister, Pam, Eric, Sophie-Anne, Russell

Magister: I come bearing gifts because I want you to know how rotten I feel about the way I've been treating you. I sent one of my minions to Tiffany's to pick up a little something for you.

Pam: How'd you know I was a Tiffany's girl?

Magister: Hm. Most women are. And those who aren't just think they're not.

Pam: They're beautiful.

Magister: Mm. They're sterling silver.

Pam: Excellent. They'll match my chains.

Magister: Unfortunately, seeing you now I realize your ears are already pierced. Would you object to my piercing your eyelids?

Pam: Not at all.

Magister: Very well. Hm.

Eric: Enough.

Pam: Eric.

Magister: Mr. Northman. It's only enough if Bill Compton is with you. Is he?

Eric: No, Magister. But the queen of Louisiana is.

Magister: Our deal was...

Eric: I'll confess that you were correct before in suspecting me, but everything I did was at her behest.

Magister: You realize, of course, you're committing treason, throwing your queen under the bus as you are.

Eric: Oh, but she's no longer my queen. My loyalty is to Mississippi now.

Russell: And Mississippi's proud to claim Mr. Northman as one of her own. Love the place. Love your vibe. We must talk franchising later.

Magister: Russell Edgington.

Russell: You may call me King.

Magister: Is it true what Northman says?

Sophie-Anne: Yes, Magister.

Magister: Then I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you. By the powers vested in me by the authority...

Russell: The authority?

Magister: ... I hereby...

Russell: Are you serious? Who are the authority? What gave them the authority? Nothing. No one.

Eric: You okay?

Russell: They took it, as I am taking it today. I no longer recognize the authority.

Magister: You are aware... (to Eric) She stays on the table! You are aware that just saying that is a cardinal sin.

Russell: I am aware of just what a tough little boat I'm putting you in. Honestly, it is kind of fun.

Magister: You know I'm beholden by duty to convey your blasphemy to the authority...

Russell: To the authority? Well, that won't be happening. But enough about you. In exchange for the money she owes the IRS, Queen Sophie Anne, mwah, has kindly accepted my marriage proposal.

Sophie-Anne: I had no choice.

Magister: Your Majesty...

Russell: Yes, my loyal subject? Oh, we would be delighted if you would officiate the wedding for us.

Magister: I am forbidden to conduct any rights of alignment unless specifically authori...

Russell: Unless specifically authorized to do so by the authority. Yes, well, perhaps you have not quite grasped the subtext of our earlier exchange, but there's a new fucking authority in town.

Magister: I swear fealty now and always to the one true vampire authority in whose wisdom and justice I... You pathetic fool.

Russell: Blindly doing the bidding of others, just like humans. It's vampires like you who've been holding the rest of us back for centuries.

Scene 20: Hospital -Bill, Sookie

Everyone is sleeping in the room. Sookie wakes up. When she sees Bill who's smiling at her, she screams.

Scene 21: Fangtasia - Magister, Russell, Eric, Sophie-Anne, Pam

Pam: You can dish it out, but you sure can't take it, can you, Magister

Eric: Let's see how this plays out, Pam. You can always taunt later.

Sophie-Anne: Can we hurry this along? I'm getting cold feet.

Russell: Of course, my little pudding. This could be so much less painful if you just said the fucking words!

Magister: I am bound by duty to uphold the sacred laws of...

Russell: Ah, ah, ah. Your call.

Magister: I hereby pronounce you... husband and wife.

Russell: Thank you.

Sophie-Anne: Yes, thanks. So happy I could bleed.

Eric: Congratulations, Your Majesties.

Pam: Yes, congrats.

Magister: You realize, of course, the authority will never recognize...

Russell: Its own irrelevancy? That's where you and I differ, Magister. I truly believe they will, and soon. Andalusia, the Iberian Peninsula. Mm. Later 9th century, no? Well, whatever. It's a long enough time for you to have outgrown your blind allegiance to the authority and their rule of law. There is only one law: The law of nature, the survival of the fittest. And we need to take this world back from the humans, not placate them with billboards and PR campaigns while they destroy it. That is not authority. That is abdicating authority.

Eric: Your Majesty. Shall we?

Russell: We shall. Actually, no. Say hello to the true death.

Russell kills the Magister.