Scene 1: The queen's place - Bill, Sophie-Anne, hadley

Bill: Your majesty. Is this a bad time?

The queen is feeding on Hadley.

Sophie-Anne: A bad time? There's no such thing as bad. Or time, for that matter. Want to join me?

Scene 2: Bill's house - Jessica, Hoyt, Maxine

Hoyt: Get up! Have you lost your mind?

Jessica: Didn't you hear all the nasty things she said about you? And me.

Hoyt: She's my mama! She gets to! The hell are you from? Mama?

Jessica: I'm sorry.

Hoyt: Mama, you all right?

Maxine: Oh, yeah.

Jessica: Hoyt?

Hoyt: I should have listened to vampire Bill when he warned me about you. (To Maxine) Now, come on. Come on, mama.

Maxine: Do we have to? I think I actually enjoyed that.

Hoyt: You see what you did to her? Come on.

Hoyt leaves with Maxine. Jessica cries and screams.

Scene 3: The queen's place - Bill, Sophie-Anne

Sophie-Anne: What gives you the right to say no to the femoral blood of a good woman? You know what your problem is, William? You are a snob. I hate snobs. Tiny, tiny souls, or penises. Or both. (To Hadley) Get out. (To Bill) Have you eaten?

Bill: Not tonight, but...

Sophie-Anne: I have several new members of court. A Latvian boy. Has to be tasted to be believed. Not polluted like most humans. Tastes exactly the way they used to taste just after I was turned, before the Industrial Revolution fucked everything to hell. Should I summon him?

Bill: No, thank you. There are a pressing matters at hand I need your help with. I need to know how to kill a maenad.

Sophie-Anne: A maenad? In Bon Temps? That's random.

Bill: Yes. She seems to have caused some sort of mass hypnosis. The whole town has devolved a primitive state in a matter of days.

Sophie-Anne: Oh, my, she's an old one. Well, they're all old. Relics.

Bill: Ancient Greece, correct?

Sophie-Anne: before that even. Orgies, sacrifice?

Bill: Yes.

Sophie-Anne: Cannibalism?

Bill: We suspect.

Sophie-Anne: Fun.

Bill: So how do I kill it?

Sophie-Anne: You can't. She's convinced herself she's immortal and so she is. William, surely you know that everything that exists imagined itself into existence.

Bill: I'm not entirely familiar with that theory, no.

Sophie-Anne: Well, think about it. You're a wild young girl who's married to some jerk who treats you like property and is also fucking some 14-year-old boy. And along comes this religion, which encourages you to get hammered, run naked through the woods, have sex with whoever, or whatever, and it's all part of getting closer to God.

Bill: I could see how that would have its appeal, especially to humans with their tendency towards Puritanism.

Sophie-Anne: Exactly. So you're fucking everybody in the dirt. Why not kill something and eat it raw? Hey, you're super extra pious. There's nothing you can't do, and each time you do it just brings you one step closer to the divine.

Bill: Isn't that delusional?

Sophie-Anne: Never underestimate the power of blind faith. It can manifest in ways that bend the laws of physics or break them entirely.

Bill: I bit her and it poisoned me.

Sophie-Anne: Of course it did. We can only drink human blood, and she's no longer even remotely human.

Bill: But she started out as human.

Sophie-Anne: Hello. Evolution? We started out that way too. Less than two hours till dawn. Shall we have sex? Kidding. I haven't enjoyed sex with men since the Eisenhower administration.

Bill: I really ought to get back to...

Sophie-Anne: Nonsense. Sookie's not in any trouble. You would know it.

Bill: But I...

Sophie-Anne: Spend the day and leave tomorrow.

Bill: I really would l...

Sophie-Anne: I insist. By the way, you haven't told me what you think of my new day room.

Bill: It's lovely.

Scene 4: Lafayette's house - Sookie, Lafayette, Tara, Letti Mae

Sookie: Tara, stop pacin'. You need to get some sleep.

Tara: We have to go get him.

Sookie: And we will as soon as Bill gets back. He might have some information about how to deal with Maryann.

Tara: He might have some information? He might not. And Eggs needs to get out now.

Sookie: Tara, it's just too dangerous.

Tara: How many times have you put yourself in danger for the man you love? How come you get that option and I don't?

Letti Mae: Baby girl, it's better this way.

They hear people screaming outside.

Lafayette: Oh shit, she coming for you.

Tara: I finally found a strong, beautiful, good man who loves me, and you want to keep me from saving him 'cause you're afraid I might get hurt? How hurt you think I'm gonna be if we wait and something happens to him?

Lafayette: I ain't lettin' you go back to somebody who beats you.

Letti Mae: He beat her?

Tara: No, it... it wasn't him. It was Maryann. Her influence.

Lafayette: She didn't throw the punches herself, did she? No. Now sit down and shut the fuck up. Sookie, my back pocket, get them handcuffs.

Tara: No.

Sookie: These are fur.

Lafayette: Give me your hand. Give me your goddamn hand.

Tara: I will never forgive you for this. Never. You're just jealous 'cause I found love and you know you never will, you fuckin' freak.

Letti Mae: Baby, it's for your own good.

Tara: You too. You don't want me to be happy 'cause you never were.

Letti Mae: I only want you to be happy.

Tara: And you had to settle for a dead man.

Sookie: That's supposed to get me on your side?

Lafayette: I'm goin' on the front porch to make sure that devil woman don't try to come up in here.

Sookie: You think she will?

Lafayette: All I know is if it's supernatural and it wants you, it ain't gonna wait for you to come to it.

Lafayette goes outside. Sookie follows him. Letti Mae cries.

Tara: You are kiddin' me. This ain't happenin' to you.

Scene 5: Merlotte's - Andy, Jason, Sam, Coby, Lisa

Jason: Seriously? You can become any animal anytime?

Sam: Yeah, as long as I've imprinted on it.

Jason: That is fuckin' cool, man.

Andy: Yeah, well, as cool as that may be, we still got a maenad we gotta deal with before it takes our wholes town out.

Sam: Listen, you can't deal with it. All right, your best bet's to leave while you still can.

Jason: Shouldn't we think about getting the law involved?

Andy: I am involved.

Jason: Well, I meant Sheriff Dearborne, Kenya, that other guy, the squirrelly one.

Andy: Sheriff's station was wide open and empty. They ain't gonna help.

Jason: Then we have got to be the law. Guys, I read a book about this. This is Armageddon. This is the Oral History of the Zombie War. We need weapons, lots of them.

Sam: I hate to break it to you, but guns aren't gonna do jack shit to Maryann. And you can't shoot anybody else. These are our friends, this is our town.

Jason: Well, sometimes you need to destroy somethin' to save it. That's in the Bible. Or the Constitution.

Voice of a child: Is she in there?

Lisa and Coby are looking from the window. They run when Sam see them. Sam goes after them.

Sam: Who's out there? No need to be afraid. Just come on out so we can see each other. Coby?

Coby: Is our mama here?

Sam: No, no. not right now.

Lisa: Good. Will you help us hide?

Coby: And will you make us lunch?

Lisa: We haven't eaten since the day before yesterday.

Jason: Sam. Andy and I are taking off.

Sam: Where are you going?

Andy: Sheriff's office.

Jason: We gotta arm ourselves. Hey, Coby, Lise.

Sam: Jason, no. You... You... You're walkin' into something bigger and more dangerous than you can even imagine.

Jason: Sam, I gotta do this.

Sam: You're gonna get yourself killed. And probably a lot of other people as well. Just think this through.

Jason: Time for thinking is over. It's time for action.

Andy: Maybe Sam's right.

Jason: Has he been to Leadership Conference? Has he had paramilitary training?

Sam: You're a damn fool, Jason. (To Coby and Lisa) Come on. Let's go inside, get you kids somethin' to eat. Come on. You're a damn fool, Jason.

Jason: By the way, you're welcome for me saving your life!

Sam go back in Merlotte's with Coby and Lisa. Jason and Andy leave in Jason's truck.

Jason: Can you believe that? What an asshole.

Andy: Welcome to my world, Jason.

Scene 6: Lafayette's house - Lafayette, Sookie, Tara, Letti Mae

Lafayette and Sookie are outside.

Sookie: Don't you at least want to sit down?

Lafayette: Nope.

Sookie's cell phone rings.

Sookie: It's a text from Bill. From five hours ago. Damn it. I'm getting a new phone as soon as Eric pays me.

Lafayette: You're working for Eric?

Sookie: Mhm. Great. Bill's not coming back until tomorrow.

Lafayette: Well, then I guess we better not plan on him saving us.

Tara and Letti Mae are in the house.

Tara: Mama, you gotta let me go. You keep me here and anything happens to Eggs, you will have destroyed my one chance at true love.

Letti Mae: Girl, you don't want true love. True love will rip you open. It'll tear you up.

Tara: I will forgive you. For everything. Everything. You know that is a lot. And this is a one-time-only offer.

Letti Mae: I can't, baby. I can't.

Tara: If you don't, God will judge you.

Letti Mae: It's God telling me not to.

Tara: It is Satan. That's Satan in your motherfuckin' Sunday hat. Satan has been telling you he is God for a long time, and you've fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.

Letti Mae: That ain't true.

Tara: Yes, it is. I see it in your eyes, and it's looking right back at me. Like it has ever since I was born. God, you've never been a real woman of God. You never stepped outside your own ignorance and fear and done something selfless for me or for anybody. Well, God is knocking on your door right now, Mama. It couldn't be more loud and clear. Are you gonna let him in?

Letti Mae: Lord God, I take refuge in you. Save and deliver me from all those who pursue me, or they will tear at me like a lion and rip me to pieces and there will be no one to rescue me.

Lafayette: What was it like inside Tara's head?

Tara: Like there was no limit, like anything could happen and it probably will. And you can feel your insides expanding, but there's also this... this emptying out of everything right at the very center of your being, and you don't want that to ever stop. Ever.

Lafayette: Damn, that sound nice.

Scene 7: Merlotte's - Sam, Coby, Lisa

Sam: Here you go. And more where that came from.

Lisa: What's wrong with our mama?

Sam: I'm not sure. But I think she's sick.

Lisa: Is she blond?

Sam: Well, she might be sometimes, but not always.

Lisa: Is she gonna die?

Sam: No. Not anytime soon. Now listen, has she... has she been sick in front of you a lot?

Lisa: She doesn't seem sick.

Coby: She seems crazy.

Lisa: Is she crazy?

Sam: Everybody gets a little crazy every now and then.

Lisa: She's always kissin' Terry and doin' other gross stuff when her eyes get weird.

Coby: Can we get her a doctor?

Lisa: Or someone to make her like she used to be?

Coby: Like a vampire. I bet a vampire would know what to do.

Lisa: Where's vampire Bill?

Sam: I don't know. I think he's... he's still in Dallas.

Coby: Don't you know any other vampires?

Scene 8: Lafayette's house - Lafayette, Sookie, Tara, Letti Mae

Sookie: How's your leg?

Lafayette: Better than ever.

Sookie: How'd that happen?

Lafayette: Eric made me drink his motherfuckin' blood is how that happened.

Sookie: Me too. He tricked me.

Lafayette: Somebody need to slap that bitch.

Sookie: I have.

Lafayette: Look at you.

Sookie: Have you had... any dreams... about him?

Lafayette: Now, Sook, how would you know that?

Sookie: What kind of dreams?

Lafayette: It's like he's always in my head. And sex dreams, all kind of nasty and... fantastic. Which freaks me the fuck out because I hates that motherfucker more than you'll ever know.

Letti Mae goes outside, crying.

Lafayette: hell. What now? What?

Letti Mae: I can't stay in there with her, sayin' those things that break my heart. I will keep guard while one of you goes to sit with her. She can't hurt you like me.

Sookie: Oh yes, she can.

Lafayette: You ain't gonna shoot yourself.

Letti Mae: Show me some respect, boy. I taught you how to shoot a gun. When those white boys from your scholl was givin' you trouble.

Lafayette: Yeah, but auntie, that was a BB gun you used to shoot cats with.

Sookie: You shot cats?

Letti Mae: Only when they went to the bathroom in my yard.

Lafayette: All right now.

Lafayette gives her the gun. She points it on him.

Lafayette: What you doin'?

Letti Mae: Tara, baby, I got the gun!

Sookie: You are not really doing this.

Letti Mae: Go unlock the handcuffs.

Lafayette: No.

Letti Mae: Go!

She shoots in the air.

Sookie: Miss Thornton, Lafayette was recently shot. He's been...

Letti Mae: You go unlock Tara.

Sookie: So she can go back to Maryann? You've seen what it's like in there. You've seen that evil. You're sending Tara back in the wood?

Letti Mae: I got a chance to win my baby back for real. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Sookie (to Lafayette): Keys?

Lafayette: It's... it's in my pocket, but I can't move.

Sookie takes the keys and go in the house.

Letti Mae: I pity you.

Lafayette looks at Letti Mae and sees Eric.

Letti Mae (with Eric's face and body): I don't hate you like your mama does. You can't help what you are. But I cannot let you keep me and Tara apart. (Eric's voice) And that's why I'm gonna have to kill you. I thought you wanted to be a vampire. You know how you feel with my blood inside you? Well, being a vampire is like that... times a million. Goodbye, sweetheart.

We see Letti Mae's face and body again. Tara and Sookie come out.

Sookie: What the hell did you do to him?

Letti Mae: Nothing. Tara, baby, go! And don't you ever forget I did this for you!

Tara: Sookie. I need the keys.

Sookie: You are being a fuckin' idiot.

Sookie gives her the keys. Tara leaves.

Scene 9: In the car - Jason, Andy

Jason: You think Sam's ever turned into a dog and then had sex with a lady dog?

Andy: Jesus, Jason, you're talkin' about bestiality.

Jason: No, it ain't bestiality if there ain't a human involved. Then it's just nature.

They arrive in front of the police station. A woman is in her underwear, running and shouting.

Andy: Sure don't seem like nature to me.

Jason: What the fuck?

Andy: That was Everly Mason.

Jason: We gotta fix things, Andy. I ain't lettin' weird shit like this take over my town. No fuckin' way.

Scene 10: The police station - Rosie, Jason, Andy, Bud

Rosie (on the phone): Really? You dialed 911 and you got me? Oh, honey, you are fucked. Gotta go. Good luck.

Andy and Jason arrive.

Rosie: Hey there, Detective Bellefleur. I missed you. Don't you remember me? We almost had sex once. Hey Jason.

Jason: Hi Rosie.

Rosie: How would you like to get fucked every which way but north?

Andy: Hey.

Jason: It's okay, Andy. I got this. You just go get the heat.

Andy: Stackhouse! This is a serious operation. Ain't about you getting' your pole wet.

Jason: Dude, do not cockblock me. It'll keep her from telling anyone else we're here. Now go.

Rosie: I'm gonna turn you inside out, boy.

Jason: That sounds like it's gonna hurt.

Andy is in another piece. He opens a cupboard.

Andy: Jackpot.

He takes bullets. Someone shots in the air behind him; it's Bud. He has black eyes.

Bud: Hey Andy. Come dance with me. Come on. (He sings)

Andy: Damn it, Bud! You know I hate to dance!

Andy takes Bud's arm.

Andy: Cut it out!

Bud: I gotta take a dump.

He leaves laughing.

Scene 11: Lafayette's house - Sookie, Lafayette, Letti Mae

Letti Mae: Why you shakin' like that?

Sookie: Because he is traumatized.

Letti Mae: Well, so am i.

Sookie (in Lafayette's ear): I'm gonna do something and I'll need you to move fast. Grab the gun when she drops it. Can you do that? (At loud voice) It's all right. She ain't gonna shoot you. (To Letti Mae) Would you please at least lower that gun, Miss Thornton? He is freakin' out.

Sookie takes an object and throws it on Letti Mae.

Sookie: Run! (Lafayette takes the pistol) Let's go get Tara.

Letti Mae: It's not my fault! She forgave me! Let her go!

Sookie and Lafayette leave in Lafayette's car.

Scene 12: Fangtasia - Sam, Coby, Lisa

Sam, Coby and Lisa are in Sam's car, in front of the Fangtasia.

Lisa: Sam, did you know my daddy?

Sam: I did not. Your mom... she split up with him before I came to town. I heard about him, though.

Lisa: What did you hear?

Sam: That... he was... he was a bit of a wild card, with a big personality.

Lisa: I don't even know what he looks like. Mama cut him out of all the picture she had. All I know is his name's Duane, and he tattooed Mama's name on his stomach.

Sam: Well, he must have loved her a lot, because you know that hurt.

Ginger goes to the Fangtasia. Sam goes to her.

Sam: Excuse me. (she screams) Nothin' to be afraid of. Just here to see Eric.

Ginger: He won't be here till after dark.

Sam: Well, obviously. I have two kids with me. Can we wait inside?

Ginger: No. I can't let anyone in without his permission.

Sam: Not even for a... hundred dollars?

Scene 13: In the car - Sookie, Lafayette

Sookie: I can hold that for you if you like. Might make it a little easier for you to drive.

Lafayette: Ain't nobody gonna point this pistol but me. Ain't personal.

Sookie: Are you okay?

Lafayette: Nope.

Sookie: Lafayette, I need you to suck it up. I cannot do this alone.

Lafayette: I know.

Sookie: We just need to get in, get Tara and get the hell out.

Lafayette: Yep.

Sookie: And if Maryann gives us any trouble, you have to shoot her.

Lafayette: I will.

Sookie: I mean it. Shoot her in the head.

Scene 14: Sookie's house - Tara, Eggs, Maryann, Arlene, Terry, Jane, Mike

Tara arrives. Eggs is in the kitchen, alone.

Tara: Eggs?

He has black eyes.

Eggs: baby. Where you been? I was so scared. Don't you ever leave me again, okay?

Tara: I won't. I promise. I love you. We gotta get you out of here, okay? Let's go somewhere else, please. Listen to me.

Maryann: But everything you want... is right here. I knew you'd come.

Tara: No. I don't know what you are, but I want out.

Maryann: It's too late for that.

Tara: You made me eat somebody's heart.

Maryann: And you loved it. Admit it.

Tara: you don't want us. You want Sam. We ain't got nothing to do with it.

Maryann: Nothing to do with it? You... summoned me.

Tara: What?

Maryann: That night in the woods with that unfortunate pharmacist. You saw me. Well, you saw you through me.

Flash back Tara in the woods:

Tara baby: Mama, please. Don't hurt me.

Miss Jeanette: One of you must die.

End flash back.

Tara: But Miss Jeanette was a fake. She scammed people by making up crazy rituals.

Maryann: Ritual is a powerful thing. And calling forth that kind of energy... has consequences.

Tara: So... she was real.

Maryann: Sadly, no. She wasn't the vessel, but you have to try every option, you know.

Tara: Please, just let us go. That doesn't work on me anymore.

Maryann slaps Tara. Tara has black eyes.

Maryann: That's more like it.

Tara and Eggs go upstairs.

People come in the kitchen.

Someone: Get on in there.

Terry: He came.

Maryann: What?

Arlene: The God Who Comes.

Jane: He came!

Terry: Yeah, and he smoked old Sam Merlotte but good.

Maryann: What are you talking about?

Mike: He had horns. And he took Sam Merlotte and he smote him. And then Sam disappeared. Just boom. Gone.

Arlene: And then... and Sam's clothes just fell to the ground. Empty.

Maryann: You fucking morons! Out! Get out!

They all leave.

Maryann: Must I do everything myself?

Scene 15: Police station - Jason, Rosie, Kevin, Andy

Jason: You ain't got nothin' like grenades, flamethrowers?

Rosie: I'll tell you. If you let me blow you.

Jason: Rosie, I ain't never taken advantage of someone while she was fucked up.

Rosie: What a liar! I know that Patsy Lyle passed out in the middle of having sex with you.

Jason: She was fine when it started.

Rosie: Come on. I'm real good at it.

Jason: I just wouldn't feel right about it, darlin'.

Kevin: Would you feel right about it now?

Kevin points his arm on Jason's head.

Rosie: Shoot him. I want to see what happens to his head.

Jason: No.

Kevin: What's the game with the one bullet in the gun and you don't know if it'll go off or not? That Chinese fire drill?

Jason: Russian roulette.

Kevin: Yeah, that's it.

Kevin shoots but there's no bullet. Andy arrives.

Andy" Kevin, drop it.

Now Kevin shoots on Andy but there's a bullet. Jason takes the arm from Kevin.

Andy (before Jason shoots): Jason. It's okay. Kevlar.

Jason: Cool you get one for me?

Andy: Only got the one.

Jason: Well, that sucks.

Scene 16: The Fortenberry's house - Hoyt, Maxine

Television: You know how big this match is. Not only are both of these men champions of their respective brand, I mean, you know...

Maxine: Damn. I should have frozen these Snickers bars first. What the hell. It's all gonna melt when I cook it. Maybe I'll freeze it then.

Hoyt: Mama, what the heck are you doin'?

Maxine: Hot sauce.

Hoyt: Oh, God. Nobody's gonna eat that.

Maxine: He will. And he is gonna love it. We have to hurry.

Hoyt: We ain't goin' nowhere.

Maxine: Maryann will remember this day for the rest of her life. I don't have the heart to tell her it's all downhill from here.

Hoyt: What the hell are you talkin' about?

Maxine: 'Cause there ain't a woman alive who'd go through with it if she knew the truth. Oh Hoyt, you can go ahead and pack that box of chardonnay in the car.

Hoyt: Mama. We ain't goin'.

Maxine: You are not keepin' me from this.

Hoyt: When Daddy died, I promised you I would take of you.

Maxine: You were ten. Let it go.

Hoyt: I've already let too much bad happen to you.

Maxine: You haven't let enough bad happen to me. You know how much times I wanted to go down to Merlotte's and drink myself silly and find some dumb redneck to take to my bed? But no. I had to take care of you.

Hoyt: You ain't yourself right now.

Maxine: Lordy, boy, you are every bit as big a pansy as your daddy.

Hoyt: Daddy was a hero.

Maxine: Daddy... was a secret drinker. You want to know what I really think? A closet homosexual. That man just liked to dance more than a normal man should.

Hoyt: Yeah, I don't want to hear this. It's just mean. He died protecting me and you from a burglar.

Maxine: Daddy put a bullet in his own head, 'cause he was too weak to handle his responsibilities. I lied and said it was a burglar, 'cause otherwise we'd have never gotten that life insurance money, dumb ass.

Scene 17: In the woods - Sookie, Lafayette, Arlene, Terry

Sookie: My Gran lived and died in that house, and now it's like people who are the exact opposite of everything she was are... defiling her. I almost got raped in Dallas, but this is so much worse.

Sookie and Lafayette are in the woods in front of Sookie's house.

Lafayette: Don't take it personal, Sook. They ain't themselves, and they're not doin' it on purpose.

Sookie: The first time I met Maryann, I knew there was something seriously off about her. She was thinking creepy foreign stuff, and I could tell it wasn't good.

Lafayette: You couldn't have stopped her.

Sookie: How come there's so much wrong in the world, Lafayette? How come so many people are willing to do bad things and hurt other people?

Lafayette: Because they're weak.

Sookie: Well, I am not weak, and I am not afraid. I am gonna kick that bitch's evil ass out of my Gran's house and then you are gonna shoot her.

Lafayette: In the fuckin' head.

Sookie: Right.

Arlene: Hey. Y'all trespassin'. You're gonna have to pay a fine.

Arlene and Terry are on the tree.

Terry: Yeah. Or go to the brig.

They come down.

Arlene: The fine is a hundred million dollars and your pants.

Terry: I'll take that gun.

Lafayette: Hey, about drugs? Would you take some drugs?

Arlene: No, I do not take drugs, thank you.

Terry: What do you got?

Lafayette: MDMA. Pharmaceutical grade.

Terry: You ain't got no oxy?

Arlene: Drugs are for losers, baby.

Terry: It'll make sex real nice.

Arlene: Okay. Give me.

Lafayette: How much you want?

Terry: All of'em.

Arlene: Yeah. 'Cause if a job ain't worth doin' all out, then why order a hamburger unless there's steak at home or somethin' like that, right?

Sookie: I don't wait anymore. I'm gonna go in through the back porch.

Lafayette: I'll be right behind, soon as I get done with these bugeyed freaks.

Arlene: I got a yellow one.

Sookie runs through the house.

Lafayette: Here, chickie chickie. Here, chickie chickie.

Scene 18: Fangtasia - Sam, Eric, Pam, Coby, Lisa

Eric: Why should I help you, shifter?

Sam: Because I need your help. We need it. And hopefully someday I might be able to give you somethin' you need.

Eric: Can you give me Sookie Stackhouse?

Sam: No.

Eric: That's a shame. That would be a tribute I would not soon forget.

Sam: I'm not here to give you tribute, Eric.

Eric: No, you're here to request my help based on a hypothetical future in which you return the favor. But you are known to not be friendly toward those like me. Why should I trust you?

Sam: Because until somebody starts trusting somebody, we're all single targets just ripe for the picking.

Eric: I have no knowledge of this maenad creature, although I suspect it's the bullheaded beast that passed through recently. Right?

Pam: That thing owes me a pair of shoes.

Sam: So can you help us or not?

Eric: I do know someone who might me able to offer something useful. Might... be able to.

Coby: Can we see your fangs?

Eric: Don't you like vampires, little girl?

Sam: Eric!

Lisa: Our almost stepdaddy hated vampires, but we don't.

Coby: He went on a vacation with Jesus.

Pam: You make me so happy I never had any of you.

Eric: Oh, come on, Pam. They're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.

Pam (in a foreign language): I hate them. They're so stupid.

Eric (in the same language): But delicious.

Sam: So can you call this other person who might be able to...

Eric: Better yet, I'll go see her. But I must leave right away.

Sam: No problem.

Eric: I'll walk you out.

Pam (in the foreign language): Please get those horrible things out of here. I'll be smelling them for a week.

On the parking.

Sam: You have my cell phone number.

Eric: I'll let you know if I learn anything of use to you. Good night tiny humans.

Eric flies.

Coby: Wow, he can fly!

Sam: Come on, Coby. Let's get you two back to Bon Temps. Come on, get in. let's go.

They leave.

Scene 19: Sookie's house - Jane, Sookie, Mike

Jane is singing. Sookie comes in, in silence.

Jane (to herself): Here we go. All done. (She sees Sookie) Lookie here. It's a present. (Jane shows Sookie her finger that she just cut) He loves presents.

Sookie goes in the house. There's a young man in her kitchen. Mike Spencer is on the floor. He touches her foot.

Mike: Remember when your Gran was layin' here... all bloody and dead?

Sookie: Of course I do.

Mike: Come on down here with me.

Mike, Jane and the other man scream.

Sookie: It's okay. Sh. It's okay. It's okay. Stop.

Mike: Come on.

Sookie lies on the floor, next to Mike.

Mike: You smell good.

Sookie: You don't. Not at all.

Mike: Makes me feel more alive bein' in the presence of death, don't it? Well, I guess you'd know that.

Sookie: Not as much as you.

Mike: How come you let him put his dead pecker inside you? It ain't natural and I ain't right.

Sookie: I don't think you're in any position to talk about what's natural and right.

Scene 20: The queen's house - Sophie-Anne, Bill, Ludis

Sophie-Anne: What are you in the mood for?

Bill: Nothin' for me, thank you.

Sophie-Anne: William, you have to eat before we play Yahtzee. I need you to play your best game.

Bill: I only feed from Sookie.

Sophie-Anne: Why on Earth would you do that?

Bill: Your Majesty, I implore you. If you've told me everything about maenads, then give me leave to return to Bon Temps.

Sophie-Anne: Oh, dear. Ludis.

Ludis: Your Majesty.

Sophie-Anne: Ludis, this is my good friend Bill Compton. Would you allow him to feed from you?

Ludis: Yes, of course.

Bill: I appreciate the offer, but the...

Sophie-Anne: William, you have to at least try him. I insist.

Ludis: I will have a sex with you.

Bill: That will not be necessary.

Bill feeds from Ludis.

Sophie-Anne: I love watching two men together.

Scene 21: In front of Sookie's house - Lafayette, Maryann, Karl

Maryann: Can I help you? Horse nettle. Also known as bull nettle, the Devil's tomato, and my personal favorite, the apple of Sodom. It's quite poisonous. But in the tiniest of doses, a savory addition to any wine-based sauce. Gives it a pungent hint of madness. A little touch of total abandon.

Lafayette: Stop!

Maryann: And I can tell that you are no stranger...

Lafayette: Bitch, I said stop!

Maryann: ...to total abandon.

Lafayette shoots but Maryann raises her hand and the bullet hits Karl and kills him.

Maryann: Oh, poor Karl. You didn't really advance much in this lifetime. You cook, don't you?

Scene 22: The queen's house - Sophie-Anne, Bill, Hadley, Eric

They play with a fourth guy at Yahtzee.

Sophie-Anne: I hate threes.

Bill: Your Majesty, I really need to leave.

Bill stands and begins to leave.

Sophie-Anne: Maenads are sad silly things. The world changed centuries ago and they're still waiting for the God Who Comes.

Bill: Does he ever come?

Sophie-Anne: Of course not. Gods never actually show up. They only exist in human's minds, like money and morality.

Bill: If I can't kill her, how do I get her to leave Bon Temps?

Sophie-Anne: She has to believe that she's successfully summoned forth Dionysus... in hope that he will ravish her, quite literally devour her, until she's lost into oblivion.

Bill: So she seeks... death... the true death. The one thing she's evolved beyond.

Sophie-Anne: Ironic, isn't it? You know, they're really not that smart, these maenads.

Bill: So how does she summon this nonexistent god of hers?

Sophie-Anne: I never said he was nonexistent. I just said he never comes. She believes if she finds the perfect vessel, sacrifices and devours part of him or her while surrounded by the magic of her familiars, then her mad god will appear. At that point, when she willingly surrenders herself to him...

Bill: That's the only point she can be killed.

Sophie-Anne (about Bill): He was the smartest boy in class.

Bill: The perfect vessel... human?

Sophie-Anne: They prefer supernatural beings.

Bill: The two-natured?

Sophie-Anne: Shifters, yes. And Weres. Fortunately, they show little interest in us. Something about our hearts not beating. But they'll try any other being that straddles the two worlds.

Bill: As long as it has a beating heart.

Sophie-Anne: You have to remember, they've been trying for centuries. They're constantly improvising their recipes in hopes of finding that one magic element that will make it all happen. Idiots. Excuse me. Hadley, keep our guests entertained, won't you?

Sophie-Anne goes to speak to a guard.

Sophie-Anne: Really? How interesting.

Hadley: How's my cousin Sookie?

Bill: She's good.

Hadley: Be sure and tell her I said hey.

Bill: I don't know.

Hadley: How's Gran? I'd love to talk to her sometime, but I owe her so much money.

Bill: I think it's best that you are not in touch.

Hadley: Oh, I know. There's no place for me in that world anymore. Still think about'em, though.

Sophie-Anne: That'll be all.

She comes back at the table.

Sophie-Anne: Well, seems your friend Mr. Northman is here.

Bill: Then it's definitely time for me to go.

Sophie-Anne: This alpha male posturing, you two really should just fuck each other and get it over with. I could watch.

Bill: Thank you for seeing me.

Sophie-Anne: Enjoy your restricted diet. I do look forward to meeting her.

Bill leaves.

Sophie-Anne: Yahtzee.

On the entry:

Bill: What are you doing here?

Eric: Hoping the queen can tell me how to kick a maenad's ass.

Bill: Now why would you want to do that? So that you'll look like a hero to Sookie?

Eric: Oh, Bill. This paranoia, it's really quite unbecoming. Has she... mentioned me?

Bill: No. That was really quite desperate of you, tricking her into drinking your blood so that she became attracted to you.

Eric: Unlike you who fed her your own blood the very night you met.

Bill: How do you know that?

Eric: So you're not denying it?

Bill: I was saving her life.

Eric: Isn't that convenient?

Bill: You stay away from Sookie, Eric. Or I will tell the queen that you're forcing humans to sell vampire blood for you.

Eric: You wouldn't.

Bill: I won't, as long as you never come close to Sookie ever again.

Eric: I don't like threats, Bill.

Bill: Neither do I.

Bill leaves.

Scene 23: In the truck - Jason, Andy

Andy: Why are we parking so far away?

Jason: So we can sneak up on them. Element of surprise. Carbs. Load up. You think Sam... could turn into a chicken and lay his own egg? Wouldn't that be weird eating something that just came out of you?

Andy: What kind of a perverted brain would even think of something like that?

Jason: Why ain't you never liked me, Andy? Is it because how much pussy I get?

Andy: No.

Jason: Because I ain't taking any pussy away from you. There is more than enough pussy to go around.

Andy: It ain't about pussy. I just think you've had everything too easy.

Jason: What have I ever had that was easy?

Andy: You were all-state quarterback.

Jason: You think that was easy? I'm starting to have knee issues and I ain't even 30 yet. What else?

Andy: Well, yeah, women do just throw themselves at you. You don't even have to do anything.

Jason: Yeah, well, actually I do. I work out like a motherfucker, and I watch a lot of porn to learn stuff. What else? Well, my best friend killed my grandma and my girlfriend. I come from no money. My mama, my daddy: died when I was 11.

Andy: So did mine.

Jason: Your daddy died in Vietnam, but your mama ran off with some Yankee race car driver. You may hate me, Andy Bellefleur. You may think you're better than me, and maybe you are, but you and me are the ones who have received the calling to save this town. So obviously God wants us to bury the hatchet.

Andy: It's all up to us, ain't it?

Jason: It is. And we can't fuck it up.

Andy: We won't fuck it up.

Jason: Because this town might be full of crazy rednecks and dumbasses, but they're still Americans, Andy.

Andy: And that used to mean something. It still does.

They go down of the truck.

Jason: Shotgun. Bandoleer. Let's go.

Scene 24: Sam's house - Sam, Bill

Sam is outside, alone when someone appears in front of him. It's Bill.

Scene 25: Sookie's house - Sookie, Mike

Mike: Funny thing is, I've always hated blood. Yeah, I never wanted to be a coroner or a undertaker. I wanted to be a DJ or a boat captain.

Sookie: Mike, enough with the foreplay. Let's just... let's just do it already. On one condition. I have to be on top.

Mike: Fine by me. That's better for my back, anyway.

Sookie sits on Mike and hits him then run away. She goes upstairs.

Voice of a man: I want me some of that. Show me how you cam shale your moneymaker. That's it.

Sookie opens a room's door.

Sookie: Tara?

There's a man wearing her dress.

Man: Too much?

She closes the door.

Sookie: Way too much.

She enters in another room. Tara and Eggs are breaking everything.

Sookie: Stop! What are you doing?

Eggs: Oh, tear it up. It's paid for.

Sookie: That's Gran's!

Tara: No, I need it for the nest.

There's a giant egg on the middle of the bed. Someone put his hand on Sookie's shoulder. It's Lafayette.

Lafayette: Where you been at? (He have black eyes) I was looking for you.

Sookie screams.