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SCENE 1: Four charred coffins are beside one another outside of the house burned by Royce, Wayne, and Chuck. One of the coffins is partly opened. Various emergency personnel perform their duties as Sookie looks at the scene from a short distance. She is approached by Sheriff Bud Dearborn.
Sheriff Dearborn: Sookie, are you okay? You want some water?
Sookie: Four?
(Sookie turns to face Detective Andy Bellefleur.)
Sookie: You're sure you found four bodies?
Andy Bellefleur: We shouldn't even be tellin' ya this.
Sookie: Andy, not now! Not with me.
Andy Bellefleur: [sigh] There's four sets of remains inside four coffins.
Sookie: Oh, my God!
(Sookie starts toward the house, but is pulled away by Andy.)
Andy Bellefleur: We can't let you go in there!
Sookie: Andy, if you don't take your hands off me right now, I swear to God, I will kill you!
(Sookie breaks free of Andy's grip, and runs up the small hill toward the house, but is met by an unidentified young man in a blue jacket with something illegible printed in white letters on the back of it. There is another man present, wearing a black ball-cap and a black vest with "CORONER" in silver/white letters on the back of his.)
Unidentified Young Man In Blue Jacket: No, no, sweetheart, you don't wanna come up here...
(The unidentified young man looks at the contents of one of the burned coffins. There are no bones, only a slurry of slightly bubbling blood.)
Unidentified Young Man In Blue Jacket: Jiminy Christmas. That's what happens to vampires?
Unidentified Man in Ball-cap: (off-camera): Evidently. Plus, we got three more.
(Sookie looks down at the blood soup with a worried look on her face.)
Unidentified Man in Ball-cap (to the young man in the blue jacket): I hope you skipped breakfast. [chuckle]
Unidentified Man In Blue Jacket: Sookie, did Bud send you up here to make an ID? 'Cause...
(Sookie lets out a small gasp, turns around, and runs away, passing Andy and Bud.)
Andy Bellefleur: Sookie, you okay?
Cut to opening credits to the tune of "Bad Things" by Jace Everett
SCENE 2: Sookie walks into her house from the back door, still in her Merlotte's uniform. She sits at the breakfast table, opens her cell phone, and dials a number.
Bill's pre-recorded voice greeting: Bill Compton.
Generic pre-recorded female voice mail message: To leave a voice message, press "one" or just wait...
(Sookie closes the cell phone and stares into space, then notices a set of muddy footprints on the kitchen floor. With her shoes now removed, Sookie is on her hands and knees as she scrubs the footprints off the floor, and has a flashback from the previous week, when she scrubbed the blood off the floor after Gran's murder. Fighting the painful memory, she continues to scrub, her face tensing up as she hurls the washrag across the room.)
Sookie: <snip>!
SCENE 3: Behind the Thornton house. Lettie Mae is taking out the garbage. Putting on a robe, Tara approaches her.
Tara: Momma, it's not even eight!
Lettie Mae: Good morning, baby. Did I wake you? I'm almost done. Just a couple more loads.
(Tara bends over and picks up a liquor bottle.)
Tara: Well, these are half full!
Lettie Mae: Useless to me. Just fuel for demon fire.
(Lettie Mae takes the bottle from Tara and tosses it in a box with other bottles.)
Lettie Mae: The bottle kept him alive for forty years.
(Lettie Mae places the box in a garbage can.)
Lettie Mae: As long as I keep the stuff out of my house, he ain't never coming back.
Tara: Huh. Well, let's see how long you can keep it up.
(Lettie Mae places the lid on the garbage can.)
Lettie Mae: Forever. Gotta be. I'm down to my last chance.
(Tara looks at Lettie Mae quizzically.)
Tara: You didn't have a drink today?
Lettie Mae: Uh-uhn. Didn't need one. Didn't even want one.
(Tara gets close to Lettie Mae's face and sniffs her breath. Tara's eyes open wider.)
Tara: Is that maple syrup?
Lettie Mae: Check the kitchen. I made hoecakes.
(Tara's jaw opens. She turns and walks toward the kitchen door at the side of the house, and Lettie Mae follows her. There is a bicycle leaning against the house, as well as two white pre-formed plastic chairs. A stairway leads from the outside to an upper floor of the house. Tara opens the door to the kitchen and they walk inside. The morning sun streams into the small, white kitchen, which seems cluttered, but looks quite clean, and the breakfast table is set.)
Tara: Are you serious? I haven't had hoecakes since...
Lettie Mae: Since your Grandma-ma was alive. I always could make 'em. Just never did. The demon never let me.
(Tara sits down and pierces one of the hoecakes with a fork and nibbles the corner of it as it drips with syrupy goodness.)
Tara: Mmm! You made these with bacon grease.
Lettie Mae: It's the only way!
(Tara smiles and places more hoecakes on the plate before her. Lettie Mae allows a short, happy laugh.)
Lettie Mae: You eat, baby girl!
(Lettie Mae kisses Tara on top of the head.)
Lettie Mae: I got me some more devil juice to take out.
(Lettie Mae leaves the kitchen and picks up some more bottles along the way, as Tara looks up and watches in astonishment.)
SCENE 4: Jason's bedroom. He and Amy are topless, laying on their backs in his bed.
Jason: <snip> damn. You...huh. You are not like anybody I ever met!
Amy: I was just gonna say the same thing. Jesus.
Jason: It felt like the whole world came together. Me, you, the bed, the house. We were all one big giant...
Amy: Organism.
(Jason stretches and smiles broadly.)
Jason: Yeah! Mine was huge!
(Amy chuckles.)
Jason: I never knew vamp blood could do somethin' like this to ya.
Amy: You know what? Neither did I. I mean...
(Amy turns over to face Jason.)
Amy: ...I've had V partners before, but this was...on a totally different planet. You're an extraordinary being.
(Jason looks confused at Amy.)
Jason: Well, what's that supposed to mean?
Amy: I mean, in some ways, we barely know each other, right? But you felt that. Uh, tell me that that wasn't just me, and we tapped into each other.
(Jason raises himself up.)
Jason: Oh, no, no, no. I felt it. We tapped.
Amy: There's something old and good and wise deep down in you. I have to know that person.
Jason: Come on, cut it out. Nobody who knows me has ever called me wise.
Amy: Then nobody really knows you.
(Jason's smile leaves his face. He turns over and cups his hands over his face as Amy puts her left arm over his shoulders.)
Amy: Are you blushing?
(Jason lifts his face up from his hands and smiles briefly as he looks at Amy, then becomes serious.)
Jason: I don't want you to go.
(Jason and Amy both smile as they look at one another.)
Amy: Well, I was planning on just burning through, but if you have a place for me to crash...
(Amy pulls Jason on top of her.)
Amy: ...then for you, I might just stick around...
(Jason begins kissing Amy.)
Jason: Stay.
Amy: ...for a little bit.
Jason: Stay with me. I don't wanna ever leave this bed. Let's just screw and do V until we starve.
(Amy chuckles as Jason kisses her again.)
Amy: Sure. But, I mean, let's hold off on the screwing. I'm a respectable girl.
(Jason stops kissing Amy.)
Jason: What? Oh, did I hurt you?
(Jason moves off of Amy.)
Jason: I'm sorry if I got carried away, it was just so amazing.
Amy: No, no, Jason. We didn't have sex.
Jason: Well, what do you call what we been doin' for the past six hours?
Amy: We were together on V, and deeper than I've ever felt with anybody ever before. But physically, we barely touched.
(Jason looks at Amy with a slight grin on his face.)
Jason: No?!
Amy: No, I promise...
Jason: No, that's not possible!
Amy: Look...
(Amy lifts up the black satin sheet.)
Amy: Panties still on.
Jason: Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
(Jason looks in utter amazement at Amy, then places the sheet back on her.)
Jason: What... the <snip>?
Amy: I told you. It's better than sex.
(Jason looks stunned as he lays his head on Amy's chest and giggles.)
SCENE 5: Sookie's kitchen. Sookie, wearing a blue shirt, is on her knees with her head in the stove as Tara comes to the back door and runs to Sookie.
Tara: Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing?
(Tara pulls Sookie out of the stove. Sookie is wearing a paper filter over her nose and mouth. She does not look happy.)
Sookie: Stop with the J.C.!
(Sookie removes the filter.)
Sookie: I'm cleanin'! What does it look like? Watch your feet! I just waxed!
Tara: I hope you mean the floor.
(Sookie sighs and walks to the sink.)
Sookie: Can I help you? I'm up to my elbows in Easy-Off.
Tara: My momma made me hoecakes this morning.
Sookie: So?
Tara: She cooked me breakfast!
(Sookie walks back to the stove.)
Tara: When's the last time you saw my momma lift a finger before noon for anything besides Mad Dog 20/20?
(Sookie stares at Tara.)
Tara: We went into the woods to get a four hundred forty-five dollar hoodoo exorcism last night, and you do not wanna get me started on that!
Sookie: My grandmother's dead! At least you got someone to make breakfast for you. You ever stop thinkin' about what's happenin' with others before you barge in on them?
Tara: Sorry. I didn't mean...
(Sookie turns to clean the top of the stove, and Tara notices the bite on Sookie's neck.)
Tara: Oh, my God, are those fang marks?
(Sookie holds the collar of her shirt away from her neck to expose the marks fully.)
Sookie: So what? It means someone cared for me when everyone else left me high and dry!
Tara: No wonder you're crazy. You let a vampire make a meal of you!
Sookie (yelling): Why am I the only person that doesn't think vampires are monsters?
Tara (yelling): They drink our blood! What's to say Bill won't leave you once he's had his fill?
(Sookie gets in Tara's face.)
Sookie (yelling): Do you have any idea what I've been through today? A friend would ask!
Tara: Don't tell me how to be your friend. I'm the only one you got, <snip> damn it!
Sookie (whispering): Lord's name in vain.
Tara (yelling): Oh, <snip> off!
Sookie (shouting): Get out of my house! I've gotten very good at losing people lately, and you are only making it easier for me!
Tara (yelling): Bitch, I don't even wanna be here! If you are hell-bent on bein' alone in this world, I ain't gonna stop you!
(Tara turns and leaves the house. Sookie slams the oven door, which bounces open before she turns to slam it shut. She places her hands on her head as she closes her eyes.)
SCENE 6: Jason's kitchen. Shirtless, but wearing jeans, Jason takes a pizza box from the refrigerator and takes it with him to the living room, where Amy, wearing her dress, is admiring some curios in a wood display rack on the wall over the sofa.
Jason: Huhn. Man, I wanna not have sex with you again so bad, you don't even know.
Amy: I think I got some idea.
(Amy walks away.)
Amy: But that V that we did was the last I had.
(Jason plops himself into the sofa, pizza box still in hand.)
Jason: Where do we score some more?
(Amy looks at one of Jason's Cd's, near a large console TV set with a smaller, newer flat-screen TV on top of it.)
Amy: When we need more, we'll go out and get it.
(Jason looks despondent, but Amy gives him a reassuring smile.)
Amy: Don't be greedy. We'll be okay for a while. Just eat your breakfast.
(Jason opens the pizza box. Half a pizza is in it.)
Jason: You sure you don't want some? Pepperoni and sausage.
Amy: No, thank you. I only eat organic. The cleaner my body is, the more intensely I feel the V.
(Jason eats a slice of pizza.)
Amy: Uh, why do you have two televisions in the same room?
Jason: The bottom one's busted. I just keep it 'cause it was my parents'.
Amy: Can I ask you how they died?
Jason: Yeah. I don't like to talk about it.
Amy: Okay.
Jason: It was a flash flood. They were caught on the bridge down by the parish road and got swept out in the river. My little sister and I...were staying at our Gran's while they went out. They didn't think I could look after Sookie by myself, even though I was almost eleven. Sometimes I think, if I was a better kid, they wouldn't have had to drop us off at Gran's. Then they wouldn't have been on the bridge at the exact point when...
(Jason puts the slice of cold pizza in the pizza box.)
Amy: So your grandma raised you after that?
Jason: Yeah, I moved back here...
(Jason closes the pizza box and sits up.)
Jason: ...when I was eighteen, even though Gran woulda rather kept an eye on me. Then, she passed too. Last week.
Amy: Oh, God! I'm so sorry.
(Jason's head is in his hands.)
Jason: <snip> damn. I don't mean to be spillin'. I never do this.
Amy: You never talk about things with anybody? You don't talk to your sister?
Jason: Least of all her. She brings out the worst in me. We had this big fight after Gran died and I hit her. I tell you: I am...the worst brother in the world.
Amy: That's ridiculous.
(Amy kneels beside Jason and places her hand on his left shoulder.)
Amy: I've seen who you are inside. I've been there.
(Amy gently turns Jason's head toward her with her left hand.)
Amy: And you're good. Jason. Do you hear me?
(Amy wipes a tear from Jason's right eye. She kisses his lips, and he kisses her and smiles.)
SCENE 7: The tailgate of a pickup truck is opened, revealing an alligator head on a box, between a box of Rolling Rock beer and another box.
Terry: She's a beauty.
(Terry Bellefleur lifts the alligator head from the truck, parked near a red Dumpster. Terry wears his watch on his left wrist. Sam Merlotte stands beside the truck.)
Terry: You want it for your office?
(Terry walks with the alligator head toward the back entrance of Merlotte's.)
Sam: Nah.
(Sam takes the box of Rolling Rock from the truck and follows Terry.)
Sam: We'll put it over the bar. Drunks like talkin' to the animals.
(Terry puts down the alligator head in a green pre-formed plastic chair, and pulls out something from underneath his shirt collar.)
Terry: Hey! Check it out! 'Possum <snip>.
(Terry holds out a dried, slender forked object, tied to a cord around his neck, and shows it to Sam.)
Sam: Ohhh! Where'd you get that?
Terry: Shot one last week. I was gonna stuff it but I left it back out, and it got to rainin', then three days later, ain't nothing left but 'possum sludge and bones. I saved this, though. 'Possums have a two-pronged penis.
Sam: Uh, huh.
Terry: It's supposed to bring good luck.
Sam: Uh, Terry, let's keep that story between us. The girls might get the wrong idea.
(Sam walks away as Terry tucks the severed member underneath his shirt and follows Sam to the truck.)
Terry: Hey Sam? What was you doin' out this morning?
Sam: Why?
Terry: You wouldn't happened to have been runnin' through the woods without no clothes on, would ya?
Sam: [chuckles] Why would I do that?
Terry: I don't know. That's why I'm askin'.
(Sam and Terry unload more boxes from the truck and walk to the back door of Merlotte's.)
Terry: I was out fishin' and I coulda swore I saw you blazin' butt-nekkid through the trees.
(Sam sets his box down on the stoop in front of the back door.)
Sam: Nah, it wasn't me. I...was working on my car.
Terry: It looked an awful lot like you. Except you wear clothes.
(Sam and Terry chuckle. Sam unloads another box from the truck.)
Terry: I don't know. Maybe I'm seein' things again. Except, usually when I see people who ain't there, it's...it's...
Sam: The insurgents.
Terry: Yeah, yeah. Only this fella I saw, he didn't look like no insurgent.
Sam: But you said he was runnin', though? Plenty of cover in the trees. How could you tell for sure? And, hey...I believe you saw what you saw. I just don't know why anyone would be runnin' naked through the woods in broad daylight.
Terry: Yeah. [chuckle] Maybe you're right. <snip>. I hate bein' this way, Sam.
(Sam pats Terry on his left arm.)
Sam: It's all right, buddy. Come on.
(Sam and Terry walk to the back door of Merlotte's.)
Sam: We're a long way from Fallujah.
SCENE 8: Nighttime. It is raining. Sookie sits with a quilt over her shoulders on the front porch of her house. She walks inside and strikes a match to light a small red candle in the darkened house. She is wearing a yellow and white dress with spaghetti straps. She picks up some flowers, and places the lit candle in a window sill. The rain has stopped. She walks through the cemetery and kneels in front of Bill's grave marker and cries. She stands up, and walks away. She is barefooted. As she walks, a hand reaches up from the ground, grabs her leg, and pulls her down. She screams and tries to escape. A naked male figure is pulling her toward his spot in the ground.
Bill: Sookie!
(Sookie looks at Bill. Despite the fact he is covered in dirt, they kiss and make love on the ground in the cemetery. The sound of Bill's fangs being exposed is heard.)
Sookie: No. Not the neck.
(Bill's fangs are exposed. He looks at her and bites her on the shoulder instead.)
SCENE 9: Merlotte's Bar & Grill at lunch.
Arlene: Where the hell is Sookie today?
(Terry Bellefleur puts one last plate on a tray, and Arlene takes the tray to her table. Lafayette is also cooking in the kitchen.)
Arlene: Here you go, honey. Sorry it took so long.
(Jason and Amy walk into Merlotte's through the front door. Amy looks around the place, which is packed with customers.)
Amy: Intense. All these animals on the wall, it's like a natural history museum.
Jason: Huh? I never noticed 'em.
Amy: How could you not? Every one of these animals lived a life full of experiences that we can't even imagine.
Jason: Does it weird you out? We could go someplace else.
Amy: No, no. I mean, everyone has to eat, right? We're all links on the universal food chain. See? Squirrel eats nuts...
(Amy points to a squirrel skin, mounted on a post by the bar.)
Amy: ...snake eats the squirrel...
(We see a non-living snake, either of the stuffed variety or the rubber variety, over some glasses behind the bar.)
Amy: ... gator eats the snake.
(The alligator head that Terry Bellefleur gave to Sam is above the bar, over a sign that reads "NO CHECKS CASHED.")
Amy: And we can eat pretty much anything we want. It's the circle of life.
Jason: Jesus Christ. I wanna lick your mind.
Amy: Let's have lunch first.
(Amy and Jason look for a table, passing Arlene at the bar, whose back is turned to them. A busboy wears a dark green Merlotte's t-shirt (in contrast to the white Merlotte's t-shirts worn by the wait staff) as he walks to the kitchen window.)
Terry: Order up!
(The busboy walks into the service area, where Sam, also wearing a dark green Merlotte's t-shirt, is working. Sookie, dressed in her Merlotte's uniform, runs in from the back.)
Sookie: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know I'm late.
(Sam turns to Sookie.)
Sam: Sookie, listen: I heard about the fire. I'm real, real sorry. How you holdin' up?
(Sookie can barely contain herself.
Sookie: He's alive!)
Sam: What?
Sookie: Bill. They said there were four bodies, and I thought for sure Bill was one of 'em.
Sam: He wasn't?
Sookie: No! He's fine. In fact...he's wonderful!
Sam: Well, that must be quite a relief for you.
Sookie: You have no idea! Anyways, no need to worry about me. I'm great!
(Sookie walks to the bar, where Arlene is writing something on one of her tickets.)
Arlene: Sweetie, where you been? I'm up to my eyeballs in tickets.
Sookie: Arlene, you look so beautiful today.
(Arlene looks quizzically at Sookie.)
Sookie: I love you, even if you are a bigot sometimes.
(Sookie hugs Arlene. Arlene seems confused. Sookie runs off to another area of the restaurant, giggling, as Sam walks behind the bar.)
Arlene: What's with her?
Sam: Bill's alive.
Arlene: What? But I thought...
Sam: I know. So did I.
(We see Terry Bellefleur behind the kitchen window, with quite a number of orders to be delivered.)
Terry: Order up!
(Sookie is talking to Hoyt Fortenberry and René Lenier, seated at a booth across from one another. Both are dressed in maroon t-shirts.)
Sookie (to Terry): I'm comin'. Hold your horses.
Sookie (to Hoyt and René): He got my message that something bad might be brewin', so he figured he spent the night in the graveyard.
Hoyt: Doesn't it get cold out there?
Sookie: No, he was in the ground. So, after I couldn't find him at his place, then hearin' about those four bodies at that burnt-up house, you can imagine what I was goin' through.
Hoyt: Oh, I mean, that must have been somethin' terrible.
Sookie: Oh, you don't know.
René: Sookie, they said there was only t'ree vampires that come in here da udder night. Who...who's the fourth body?
Sookie: Some poor fang-banger, they're saying now. Some vampires like to keep a human around for sex...and blood.
(Sookie smiles broadly.)
Sookie: I'll get your Cokes.
(Sookie turns and walks to the kitchen window. The orders that had piled up in the window are gone.)
Sookie: I thought you said "order up".
Terry: I did. New girl took 'em.
Sookie: New girl?
(Sookie walks to the dining area and looks around.)
Amy (off-camera): BLT, cheeseburger, well-done, fried egg on white, hot wings...
(Sookie sees Amy serving tables.)
Amy: ...smoked sausage, tuna melt, and the chicken-fried steak must be for you. Thank you. (yelling) We've got a four-top open.
(Jason smiles as he walks up to Sookie, who's at the bar. Sookie doesn't look happy.)
Jason: Isn't she something?
Sookie: She's with you?
Jason: I know you're <snip> at me, but...I really want you to like her.
(Amy approaches Jason and Sookie.)
Amy: Sorry about that. You looked really swamped and the natives were gettin' restless so... You're Jason's sister, right? It's...I've heard so much about you.
(Arlene has joined the small group, looking less happy than Sookie does.)
Arlene: Who are you?
Amy: My name's Amy. Amy Burley. I'm with Jason.
Jason: With me.
(Jason smiles slightly and puts his right arm around Amy's shoulders.)
Amy: And you must be Arlene with the beautiful red hair. It's so nice to meet you.
Arlene: How'd you know all the table numbers?
Amy: Well, I waited tables in college, so I just assumed clockwise. You know, table one, two, three, four, five. I think the guys at table five like you, 'cause they left you a really nice tip.
(Amy hands the tip to Arlene. Arlene takes the tip, then turns around to Sam.)
Arlene: Sam, I think we might have found a replacement for Dawn.
Sookie (looking at Jason): Looks like you did too.
(Sookie walks away, as Jason kisses Amy on her top of her head.)
SCENE 10: Behind the Thornton home. Church bells ring in the background. Freshly-washed laundry is hanging on clotheslines as Tara walks outside and looks at the scene.
Tara: What the...?
(Lettie Mae walks into the backyard, wearing a nice dress and a hat. She is accompanied by Mabel Simpkins, who is dressed similarly.)
Lettie Mae: Don't you touch that, sweetie pie. Momma'll take care of the laundry.
Mabel Simpkins: Oh, my goodness! Lettie Mae! Ain't she the spittin' image of you?! (to Tara) That's a compliment!
Lettie Mae: Tara Mae, you remember Mabel Simpkins, don't you?
Tara: Yeah. From the church.
Mabel Simpkins: That's right. And why don't we see your smiling face there no more?
Tara: Uh, 'cause I stopped goin'.
Mabel Simpkins: Oh, well. It's never too late to come back. Lettie Mae left us for two years and we welcomed her back today like she had never gone.
Lettie Mae: I heard the call! The good Lord said, "Lettie Mae, you been away too long. Your church needs you. "
Mabel Simpkins: Oh, you should have heard her testify. The entire congregation was filled with the Spirit.
Tara: Yeah, I bet she was full of it.
Mabel Simpkins: Your momma's an inspiration to us all.
Lettie Mae: Glory to God!
Mabel Simpkins: Amen! (to Tara) Girl, why don't you come to Bible group on Tuesday? Got plenty of nice young men and fruit punch.
Lettie Mae: A little religion do you a world of good, baby girl.
Tara: <snip>. Are you even listening to what you're sayin'? You can lie to yourself and everyone else but when you go to bed, you are just as <snip> up and miserable as I am. And goin' to church and wearing a crazy-ass hat ain't gonna make you a better person.
(Tara walks away.)
Lettie Mae: She got a demon in her.
Mabel Simpkins: My granddaughter had a demon in her. They everywhere!
SCENE 11: Merlotte's. Arlene is on the phone behind the bar.
Arlene: No, sure...I understand...no, it's no problem...okay, baby. Bye-bye.
(Arlene hangs up the phone and heaves a sigh, and turns to Terry.)
Arlene: Every time I get a night off, my babysitter falls through on me.
(Terry walks up to Arlene.)
Terry: You know, I like kids, Arlene. Doughnuts, too.
Arlene: Maybe. If you brought a lady friend along. Lisa likes a female in the house.
(Terry gets a bit closer to Arlene.)
Terry: I ain't had a lady friend since I come home.
Arlene: Well, that's some bad luck for you, I guess. Did something happen there that you been...keepin' to yourself? 'Cause you could talk to me, you know, if you're wantin' to.
Terry: No, I...I...I'd just as soon sit here and listen at you. I like your voice.
(Arlene smiles.)
Terry: And your clavicles.
(Arlene giggles.)
SCENE 12: Sookie and Amy are cleaning tables in the dining area.
Sookie: I've been admiring your necklace all day.
Amy: Oh, thanks, it's a lariat. I made it.
Sookie: You make jewelry?
Amy: It's a easy way to earn extra money. I can make you one, if you want.
Sookie: Thanks, but I don't think my boyfriend much likes silver.
(Sookie moves her bus tub to another table.)
Sookie: You know my brother's a dog, don't you?
Amy: I'm sorry?
Sookie: He's all charm and smiles in the beginning, but the second he gets tired o' you, he's gonna stop callin'. Before you know it, he's off with some other floozy. Not... not that you are one. But trust me, it's as regular as the seasons. You seem like a sweet girl. I don't want you to get hurt.
Amy: You know...I don't think Jason's realized even half of what he's going to be. I wouldn't be so quick to judge. You might be surprised at what he's capable of.
(Amy picks up her bus tub and walks away as Arlene walks up to Sookie.)
Arlene: Hey, Sookie. I've been meanin' to talk to you.
Sookie: What's the matter?
Arlene: I've just been a mess lately. You know, with the kids and the double shifts and René and everything, it's been awful hard, and I've probably said some things that I don't mean, but that's the pressure talkin'. I love you like my own sister. And you know that, right?
Sookie: I appreciate that. Thank you.
(Arlene and Sookie hug each other.)
Sookie: And sure, I'll babysit your kids tonight.
Arlene: I...I didn't...
Sookie: I heard you talkin' to Terry. I'm a better choice.
Arlene: We'll drop 'em off at eight. René's taking me to Ruston to see that Oak Ridge Boys tribute band.
Sookie: Ooh. Fun!
(Arlene leaves.)
SCENE 13: Merlotte's, that evening. Sam is pouring a bottle of Tru:Blood down the drain at the sink behind the bar. Tara is clearing a table, and walks to a booth where Hoyt, dressed in a dark blue shirt, is sitting. Sam watches.
Hoyt: You look mighty pretty tonight, Tara. That's a nice color on you.
Tara: <snip> you.
(Tara walks to the bar.)
Hoyt: I'm sorry, w...was that sexist?
(Tara is at the bar. Sam is not happy.)
Sam: May I have a word with you? In my office.
(Tara follows Sam to his office.)
Tara: Hey, I get it. You said yourself hirin' me might not work out. I <snip> people off. If you wanna fire me, fire me. I totally understand.
Sam: No. You and I are the only ones who get it.
(Sam grabs Tara by her arms and pushes her up against the closed door of his office.)
Sam: It's everybody else who's <snip> themselves up.
(Sam kisses Tara on the lips, and she kisses him.)
SCENE 14: Sookie and Bill are in her bed. Her head is on his left shoulder. He plays with her hair and looks directly upward.
Sookie: Doesn't it get old...for you? I mean, you've been doin' it for over a hundred years. Doesn't it get predictable?
Bill: Not with you, it doesn't. You're entirely different. And the beauty and the tragedy of it is...is that you don't know just how different you are.
Sookie: Please tell me if I'm doin' somethin' wrong.
Bill: There's nothin' more natural than the act of makin' love. Who am I to try to change what comes naturally to you?
Sookie: But if you could change somethin'...
(Bill raises his head and looks at Sookie.)
Bill: I wouldn't change a thing.
(Bill kisses Sookie.)
Sookie: What's it like to sleep in the ground?
(Sookie giggles quietly.)
Bill: It's not exactly comfortable. But it is safe. Which, if I recall, is what the three voice mails required of me that night.
(The doorbell chimes, and Sookie gasps.)
Sookie: Oh, crap. Arlene. I forgot, I told her I'd babysit the kids.
Bill: Shall I go?
Sookie: No. Stay. It'll be good for her. You can put some pants on, though.
(Sookie kisses Bill and gets out of bed to answer the door. She is wearing a pink nightie. Bill remains in bed. Sookie goes downstairs, opens the front door, and greets Arlene, her daughter Lisa, her son Coby, and René. Coby is playing with a Nintendo Game Boy.)
Sookie: Hi!
Arlene: Sookie. What's wrong? What took you so long?
Sookie: I was out back in the yard.
Coby: In your nightie?
Bill: The cat got out.
(Bill is dressed, and walks into view.)
Bill: Made friends with a squirrel.
Lisa: Mommy, look, it's a vampire!
(Lisa and Coby smile and run to Bill, but are stopped by Arlene.)
Arlene: Uh, Sookie. You didn't mention...that you had company.
Sookie: I didn't think I had to.
Arlene: Well, I got a right to know who's lookin' after my children.
Sookie: Well, here we are. Is there a problem?
(Lisa and Coby continue to look at Bill. Lisa smiles, while Coby looks in wonderment.)
René: Ahh, take it easy, chère. Mr. Compton raised a couple of them little ones himself if I remember, yeah?
Bill: That's quite right.
(Arlene removes two silver bangle bracelets, and places them on Lisa's and Coby's wrists. Coby's Game Boy is firmly closed.)
Arlene: Keep these on you, you hear? And, um...stay close to your Aunt Sookie.
(Coby is now playing with his Game Boy.)
Sookie: They'll be fine, I promise. (to Lisa and Coby) Who wants pizza?
Coby: Me!
Lisa: Me!
Sookie: That's good, 'cause that's what we're havin'.
(Sookie reaches out to Coby and Lisa and they go up to her.)
René: You can eat pizza?
Bill: Well, unfortunately, no, but I understand it's delicious.
(Bill smiles. Sookie giggles.)
SCENE 15: Sam Merlotte's trailer, that same evening. Sam is sharing some time with Tara in his bedroom.
Tara: You know what's good about sex that people never mention?
Sam: Hmm.
Tara: For anywhere between five minutes to an hour, you forget your own <snip> life.
Sam: Hmm. Only if it's good. If it's not, it reminds you just how bad your life really is.
Tara: Then I guess you're pretty good.
Sam: Thanks, you're not bad yourself.
Tara: Easy on the praise, honey.
Sam: What? No, you're good.
Tara: But?
Sam: Nothin'. It's good. You're good.
Tara: Uh-huh. What am I doin' wrong?
Sam: Nothin'. I... it's...it's so minor, it doesn't matter.
Tara: Sam, what is it?
Sam: Don't do this to me.
Tara: Spit it out!
Sam: Sometimes...you grunt.
Tara: I what?
Sam: It's... it's natural. Nothin' to get worked up over. It's just a sound.
Tara: A gruntin' sound? Like a farm animal?
Sam: No. No. It's... it's...it's... it's athletic. Like tennis players when they serve.
Tara: You mean like Serena?
(Sam opens his mouth to say something, but the words just aren't there.)
Tara: What, because I'm Black, I sound like Serena Williams?
Sam: That's not what I said!
Tara: You racist son of a bitch!
(Tara gets out of Sam's bed.)
Sam: How can I be racist? I just had sex with you!
Tara: You <snip>!
(Tara puts on her top.)
Tara: Why'd you have to go and take the only good ten minutes of my entire day and ruin it like that?
Sam: Well, I think it was more than ten minutes.
(Tara puts on her pants.)
Tara: Oh, <snip> you! <snip> you all!
Sam: All who?
Tara: Everybody. <snip> everybody!
(Sam looks puzzled, and a door slams.)
SCENE 16: The kitchen of Sookie's house. Sookie, Coby and Lisa are sitting at the table. Ice cream glasses are in front of Coby, Lisa, and Sookie, as is a tub of Blue Bell ice cream. Bill brings a white plastic tub of Cool Whip to them.
Bill: Whipped cream!
(Bill spoons a dollop of Cool Whip onto their ice cream.)
Coby: Yeah!
Lisa: Me, too!
Bill: I hope you can finish this before your mother comes back.
Coby: No problem. I ate a whole jar of mayonnaise once.
Lisa: I had to watch.
Coby: Bill, how come you can't have ice cream?
Bill: Hmm...you might say that I'm...lactose intolerant.
Coby: Just like my Aunt Fern. Except she don't tolerate Mexicans.
Lisa: Aunt Sookie, is Bill your boyfriend?
Sookie: Well...
(Sookie turns to Bill, who sits beside her now.)
Sookie: ...would you say that you're my boyfriend?
Bill: Well, I suppose I'd have to ask permission from Coby and Lisa. (to Coby and Lisa) Would it be all right with you if I was Aunt Sookie's boyfriend?
Lisa: Do you buy her flowers?
Bill: Why, no, I...I haven't yet.
Lisa: You better. René buys flowers for momma all the time.
Bill: Then I will have to mend my ways.
Lisa: You do that. Then we'll talk.
Coby: Can we see your fangs?
Sookie: I don't think that's gonna be possible.
Bill: Why, certainly.
(Bill, still seated, turns away, then turns to face Coby and Lisa with a set of obviously fake vampire fangs with fake blood on them, his hands up in the air with the fingers bent slightly, as if he's about to grab them.)
Bill: Urrrrrrrrrrrr!
(Coby, Lisa, and Sookie laugh.)
SCENE 17: Nighttime. A truck is stopped on a dark road, and its headlights are turned off.
René (off-camera): Aww. I t'ink we got a flat tire.
(inside the truck, we see René in the driver's seat, and Arlene in the passenger seat.)
Arlene: Come on, baby, the kids are waitin' on us. I don't wanna leave them with that vampire longer than I have to.
René: Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm gettin' to it, woman.
(René leaves the truck and closes the door.)
René: Bébé!
Arlene: What?
René: Pass me that Maglite, will you?
(Arlene opens the glove compartment and retrieves a silver Maglite. She opens the door, steps onto the dark road, and walks to the other side of the truck, trying to turn on the Maglite, which does not turn on. René, squatting beside one of the wheels, waits for her.)
Arlene: Crap, it's burnt out.
René: Are you sho'? You better check it. I just put some fresh batt'ries in there.
(Arlene unscrews the cap on the tail end of the Maglite. Something falls to the ground as the cap is removed. Arlene looks around her for the object, but René has found it already. He moves closer to her, holding the object, a ring, up to her.)
René: Arlene Fowler?
(Arlene gasps.)
René: Would you do me da honor...o' bein' my wife?
(Arlene cries and smiles as René slides the ring onto her finger. As he does so, we see that he wears his watch on his left wrist. After the ring is on Arlene's finger, René stands up, and they kiss.)
Arlene: Why didn't you say anything at the Red Lobster?
(Arlene and René hug each other.)
SCENE 18: Sookie's kitchen. Arlene, René, Bill and Sookie are sitting at the table. Arlene is showing Sookie her engagement ring.
Arlene: I know I've done it four other times, but it never gets old!
Sookie: Oh, I'm so thrilled for you two!
Arlene: Would you be a bridesmaid for me again?
Sookie: Why, of course! You hardly have to ask!
Arlene: Oh, honey, I love you so much!
(Arlene and Sookie hug each other and giggle.)
René (to Bill): Maybe you two are next, huh?
(Sookie and Arlene stop giggling.)
René: Well, I mean, when it becomes legal.
(Lisa walks into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes.)
Lisa: Mommy, what's going on?
(Arlene turns to Lisa.)
Arlene: Sweetie, you're gonna be my flower girl!
(Arlene and Lisa squeal with delight. Lisa smiles broadly and hugs Arlene. Sookie smiles, as does Bill.)
SCENE 19: Morning at the Stackhouse home. The sun shines brightly and birds chirp. In the kitchen, Bill sits at the table, reading the newspaper, The Bon Temps Bugle. The table is set, and breakfast is ready. Sookie walks in.
Bill: Mornin', dear.
Sookie: Bill. Did you make all this?
Bill: I borrowed some of your grandmother's old recipes...
(Bill and Sookie kiss.)
Bill: ...but the handiwork is all mine.
(Bill returns to his newspaper. Sookie walks around him, looking at the meal he has prepared.)
Sookie: I don't even know where to begin.
Bill: Well, I would start with the biscuits. [points to biscuits] They just came out of the oven.
(The morning sun streams into the kitchen from the window above the kitchen sink, directly behind Bill. He smiles at Sookie as she sits down, and Bill looks up from his newspaper.)
Bill: Gonna be clear skies all day.
Sookie: Wait, Bill, it's light out.
(Bill turns to the window behind him. His face is immediately burned.)
Bill: Yes, I suppose it is.
(Bill turns to face Sookie, and ignites in flames.)
(Sookie's eyes open, and she jumps up. She is in bed. Daylight streams through her bedroom window. A black cat meows beside her.)
SCENE 20: Coroner Mike Spencer's office. Mike is on the phone, and looks as if he's been crying.
Mike Spencer: Yeah...yeah, okay...No. No, I'll make the call...His momma passed a couple years back, but he had some family in Kentucky.
(Sheriff Bud Dearborn sits in the passenger seat of a patrol car, talking on his cell phone. Detective Andy Bellefleur sits in the driver's seat. The patrol car is parked.)
Sheriff Dearborn: His dentist confirmed the match just a bit ago. I thought you should be the first to know.
(Mike becomes more visibly emotional.)
Mike Spencer: God dang it. Why Neil? He was such a quiet kid. I'd have never thought he'd get mixed up with fangers. Damn. To have nothing left of you to ID but teeth.
Sheriff Dearborn: You wanna maybe let one of the homes in Monroe handle him?
Mike Spencer: No. No. He worked for me. I owe it to him. Gimme a couple hours, I'll come over and claim him, okay?
Sheriff Dearborn: Okay. Thanks, Mike.
Mike Spencer: Yeah.
(Mike hangs up the phone. He wears a wedding band on his left ring finger.)
Andy Bellefleur: Pretty tore up?
Sheriff Dearborn: Blind-sided him. Had no idea Neil was a fang-banger.
Andy Bellefleur: Jesus, Bud. The kid was creepy. What nineteen-year-old goes to work for a funeral home?
Sheriff Dearborn: I worked in a slaughterhouse when I was fifteen. They made me clean chitlins.
(Andy looks away from Bud.)
Andy Bellefleur: Speakin' of freaks...
(Sam is walking nearby. Bud and Andy exit the patrol car. It is revealed that their patrol car has been parked outside Merlotte's Bar & Grill. Sookie's yellow Honda is parked nearby. Sam walks toward the back of the restaurant, followed by Bud and Andy.)
Sam (off-camera): And that's it.
(Sam is sitting on the arm of his sofa in his trailer as Sheriff Dearborn and Andy Bellefleur question him.)
Sam: I got no control over what people do after they leave the bar.
Sheriff Dearborn: You remember anyone being unusually angry over what those vampires did to your bar?
Sam: Yeah. Everyone. We were all angry. Heck, you might as well interrogate the whole town. Between you and me, I wouldn't be heartbroken if you didn't find who did it. You know what I'm sayin'? Old Mrs. Stackhouse, on the other hand, now that's a real tragedy. Her and Dawn and Maudette Pickens, one right after the other. You fellas got any leads on that?
Andy Bellefleur: We're workin' on some right now.
Sam: Good. I'm pullin' for you guys.
Sheriff Dearborn: Okay. You remember anything else, we'll be havin' a burger inside.
(Bud puts an unlit cigar in his mouth.)
Sheriff Dearborn: Come on, Andy.
(Bud and Andy turn and walk to the door. Bud opens the door, and he and Andy go outside. Neither one closes the door.)
Andy Bellefleur (off-camera): Hey, Sam!
(Andy walks back inside of Sam's trailer.)
Andy Bellefleur: One other thing. You recall spendin' any time out in the woods lately?
Sam: Yeah. Some. But you knew that already, didn't you?
(Andy folds his arms.)
Sam: Oh, Andy. If...if I tell you...you have to keep this a secret. All right, nobody in town knows. But, uh...I come from a family of naturists.
Andy Bellefleur: Like bird watchers?
Sam: No. No, not naturalists. Naturists. Naturists believe in a...a freer, clothing-optional kind of lifestyle.
Andy Bellefleur: You're a nudist?
Sam: No. No. Good Lord, no. But my folks were, I'm embarrassed to say. They spent most of their lives at a nudist colony.
Andy Bellefleur: Oh, yeah? Around here?
Sam: No, in Texas, just outside Beaumont. But, uh...ever since they passed, I honor their memory once a year by takin' a run through the woods the way they used to. It's...it's my private way of mourning. I'm sorry if anybody had to see it.
Andy Bellefleur: Hrmph.
SCENE 21: Merlotte's Bar & Grill. Lafayette puts some green vegetables on a plate with some fried food. Amy, now wearing a white Merlotte's t-shirt, stands at the kitchen window loading plates onto a tray. Lafayette is giggling quietly as he takes the plate to Amy. Tara is in the kitchen with him.
Tara: What?
Lafayette: Hooker, you done got took.
(Amy take her tray away. Lafayette walks over to Tara.)
Lafayette: That was no damn exorcism. That was a straight-up con job!
Tara: You know what the <snip> up thing is?
Lafayette: What?
Tara: It worked! It was like aliens beamed down and switched out her brain or somethin'.
Lafayette: Then that was fo' fo'ty-five well-spent. <snip>. Happy dance.
(Lafayette does a little dance as he pours liquid (from what looks like a Patrón tequila bottle) into a coffee mug.)
Lafayette: You should be glad to be rid of that...that's your momma. I ain't gonna say it.
Tara: <snip> that. All that <snip> you've built up your whole life doesn't go away because a hoodoo woman moves some rocks around on your belly.
Lafayette: I thought you said it worked.
Tara: I thought you said it was a con job.
Lafayette: Heifer, it's not a con job if you got your money's worth. Hell. And who knows? It might do you some good too.
Tara: I don't have another four forty-five to waste on <snip>.
Lafayette: You just sayin' that 'cause you don't understand it.
(Lafayette places the mug next to the kitchen stove.)
Lafayette: And trust me, this world is filled with things we will never understand. Compared to a lifetime of Zoloft, four forty-five's a bargain.
(Lafayette resumes cooking.)
(In another part of Merlotte's (possibly Sam's office), Sookie is taking a vitamin as Sam walks in.)
Sam: Hey, what'cha doin'?
Sookie: Vitamin.
Sam: I've never seen you take a vitamin before.
Sookie: So what? You've never seen me put on deodorant or wash my hair or feed my cat, have you? But I do all those things. I don't need a permission slip from you.
(Sookie chuckles slightly and walks away. Sam walks to where she was standing. He picks up a bottle of vitamin B-12 and crushes it against the stone fireplace.)
Sam: Christ.
(Sam sits down, and begins picking up the broken pieces.)
SCENE 22: Afternoon. Amy is leaving Merlotte's, walking quickly. She approaches Jason's truck. Jason is in the driver's seat. She gets in on the passenger side.
Jason: Good day?
(Amy closes the passenger door and heaves a sigh, not looking at Jason.)
Amy: I need V.
(Amy turns to Jason and he looks puzzled at her.)
Jason: What? I thought you said you didn't need any again until...you needed it again.
Amy: Well, I need it. Okay?
Jason: Okay.
Amy: Look me in the eye. Tell me that you don't want it too.
Jason: Yeah. Of course I do. But Lafayette won't sell it to me.
(Amy looks at Jason and she rocks slightly.)
SCENE 23: The Old Compton House. Crickets chirp as Bill opens the door and walks inside with clothes in plastic bags on hangers. He closes the door, and notices lights are on in the foyer. Soft music plays in the background now. He hangs the clothes on the newel of the staircase and, with lightning speed, he runs upstairs. He creeps along the hallway, following the sounds of music, which is louder now. He sees light through the crack between a door and the floor, and opens the door, which leads to his bathroom. Eric is relaxing in Bill's bathtub. A portable stereo is beside the tub, and candles are lit, as is a small lamp beside the door.
Eric: I texted you three times. Why didn't you reply?
Bill: I hate usin' the number keys to type. What are you listenin' to?
Eric: From my younger days. It's really quite beautiful if you know Old Swedish. I have a favor to ask of you.
Bill: A favor or an order?
(Bill folds his arms. Eric turns his head slowly to Bill.)
Eric: Depends on how you look at it. Honestly, did you think you could keep her to yourself?
SCENE 24: Nighttime. Jason and Amy are in Jason's truck, parked outside someone's home. A dog barks in the background.
Jason: It feels a little like stalkin, don't it?
(Amy rocks slightly in her seat. She seems nervous.)
Amy: It's the most natural thing in the world. The hunt. People used to do this all the time, y'know, before we got complacent with cloned beef and pre-packaged dinners.
(The house door opens and Lafayette exits. He is dressed in a tank top, jeans, and ball cap, and carrying a green and white plastic beverage cooler. He walks to his car, a convertible with its top down. He places the cooler in the back seat, takes off his ball cap, gets into the driver's seat, starts the car, and drives away as Jason and Amy watch from their distance. Jason prepares to start the truck.)
Amy: Headlights off.
Jason: You done this before?
Amy: Stay five lengths behind, ten if we get on the parish road.
Elsewhere, an older, slightly overweight Caucasian man walks downstairs and lights a couple of candles in the living room. Soft elevator-type music plays in the background. A knock is heard from his front door. He opens the door.
Lafayette: Well, hey there, sweetness. You ready to party?
(The older man smiles, revealing fangs.)
Lafayette: I'll take that as a yes.
(Lafayette runs his finger along the vampire's chest as he walks inside.)
Lafayette: Nasty.
(A "whoosh" sound accompanies the closing of the front door. In the kitchen, the vampire uncorks a bottle of wine as Lafayette turns down the volume on the vampire's stereo. The vampire brings the opened bottle and a single glass into the living room.)
Vampire: I bought this 'specially for you.
(Lafayette sits down.)
Vampire: I remember you said you go for merlot.
Lafayette: I said I worked at Merlotte's. But whatever. Po' me some anyhow.
(The vampire walks to where Lafayette is sitting, places the glass on the coffee table, and pours some merlot into it. Lafayette's green and white cooler is also on the coffee table. The vampire picks up the glass and offers it to Lafayette, who sniffs it and looks at it, but does not immediately drink it. The vampire sits beside Lafayette, and nuzzles against Lafayette's bare shoulder. Lafayette sips the wine and, with his head turned, discreetly spits the wine back into the glass. The vampire continues his amorous overtures, but Lafayette nudges his elbow softly into the vampire's abdomen.)
Lafayette: All right, baby. Eddie juice first...
(The vampire kisses Lafayette's shoulder.)
Lafayette: ...then we play.
(Eddie sits back on the sofa as Lafayette removes his ball cap, opens the cooler, and withdraws a syringe from it. Eddie offers his right arm. Lafayette licks and kisses the area on Eddie's arm where the needle will be stuck, and the vein suddenly pops into view directly underneath Eddie's skin.)
Lafayette: Oh, there it is.
(Lafayette sticks the needle into the vein, and Eddie lets out a small gasp.)
Eddie: I always look forward to Monday nights. First Heroes, then...you.
Lafayette: Eddie, what fun is it bein' a vampire if all you do is watch TV?
Eddie: Well, I like TV.
Lafayette: Umm. I'm just sayin' you should try the bars. I know you like gettin' laid too.
Eddie: Why should I go to the bars? I got this.
(Eddie looks toward the ceiling and inhales deeply as Lafayette's attention is focused on the syringe in Eddie's arm.)
Eddie: You like me, don't you, Lafayette?
(Lafayette removes a vial of Eddie's blood from the syringe.)
Lafayette: Sure, I like you.
Eddie: I mean...even if I wasn't helping out with the blood, you'd still...want me, right?
Lafayette: Why you even got to aks me that?
Eddie: I'd hate to think it's just...bidness for you when you come over.
Lafayette: Of course not. What, you think I fool around with all my business associates?
(Eddie chuckles quietly.)
Lafayette: Ah, there we go.
(Lafayette removes another vial of Eddie's blood, then removes the needle from Eddie's arm. He places the vial and the needle in the green and white cooler.)
Lafayette: Now show me what a dirty old vampire you is.
(Eddie and Lafayette kiss one another on the lips.)
Eddie: I want you so bad. I ache.
(Lafayette grabs Eddie's hair, then stands up. Lafayette holds Eddie's hands and pulls Eddie up off the sofa.)
Lafayette: Well, come on, baby. I take care of you.
SCENE 25:A car pulls into the parking lot of Fangtasia. A sign reads CLOSED on the black leather-padded front door, but the red neon FANGTASIA sign is lit.
Bill (off-camera): You said you wanted to go out tonight.
(Inside the car, Bill is in the driver's seat, with Sookie as his passenger. She is holding some red and white roses.)
Sookie: I did not mean Fangtasia! I mean, really, all those pathetic people who come here looking for sex with vampires?
(Bill turns and looks directly at Sookie.)
Bill: I know. It's despicable.
Sookie: You know what I mean! So, what, five, ten minutes?
Bill: As long as Eric requires us.
Sookie: You mean as long as he requires me. Didn't even have the decency to ask me himself.
Bill: You are mine. He didn't need to ask your permission.
Sookie: He cannot check me out like a library book!
Bill: Unfortunately, Sookie, he can. Eric is sheriff of Area Five.
Sookie: Sheriff?
Bill: It's a position of great power among our kind. We do not wanna anger him! As long as the requests are reasonable, we should accede to his wishes.
(Sookie looks away from Bill, and sniffs the roses. She puts the roses down, and she and Bill get out of the car.)
Sookie: I had this crazy dream this morning. We were sitting, eating breakfast, and all of a sudden the sunlight set you on fire.
(Bill is quiet for a moment.)
Bill: It wouldn't happen quite that way. The sunlight would severely weaken me and eventually, of course, I would die. But I wouldn't burst into flames. Not right away, at least.
(Bill walks away.)
Sookie: So I guess we'll never have breakfast together.
SCENE 26: The exterior of Miss Jeanette's bus in the woods. Crickets chirp and an owl hoots in the background. It is night. Tara walks up from behind some trees and slowly approaches the bus. A twig snaps. Startled, Tara turns her head to find Miss Jeanette standing directly behind her.
Miss Jeanette: I knew you'd come.
(Miss Jeanette has a small smile on her face. Tara continues to stare at her.)
Miss Jeanette: Let's go inside.
(Tara turns and steps into the bus, as Miss Jeanette follows.)
SCENE 27: Andy Bellefleur sits at his computer, talking on the phone.
Naturist Community Employee: No, I'm quite certain.
(Cut to a shot of the office of the Naturist Community. A nude male stands behind a conveniently-opened file cabinet drawer and goes through some files as he talks on the phone with Andy. Behind him are various naturists, visible through the office window.)
Naturist Community Employee: We keep extensive records here. All the way back to, uh...1958. Never had anybody by the name of Merlotte here.
Andy Bellefleur: And you're sure you're the only nudist colony in the Beaumont area?
Naturist Community Employee: Naturist community. We're the first, finest and only clothin'-optional sanctuary in all of Jefferson County.
Andy Bellefleur: All right. Thanks very much.
Naturist Community Employee: You come visit us, you hear? Got a barbecue every month.
(Andy hangs up the phone, and looks puzzled.)
SCENE 28: The bar at Fangtasia. Sookie sits at a cocktail table as Pam leans against the bar, her arms folded. Eric walks into view.
Eric: Pam, Longshadow and I are partners in this club.
(Eric circles Sookie as he walks. Bill is leaning against the bar on the opposite side of the well from Pam.)
Eric: And we recently noticed that sixty-thousand dollars has gone missing from our books. And Bruce...
(Eric stops walking. The camera moves down to reveal Bruce, a bespectacled older Caucasian male. He looks quite scared.)
Eric: ...is our accountant. Perhaps you can start by listening to him.
(Bruce is sitting at the same cocktail table as Sookie.)
Sookie: He's not saying anything.
Eric: Don't be coy.
(Longshadow, behind the bar, passes his hand over the open flame of a cigarette lighter.)
Eric: It's humbling enough to turn to a human for assistance. We know what you can do.
Sookie: And I know what you can do too. Why don't you just glamour him?
Eric: Now, don't you think we might have tried everything before summoning you?
(Sookie stares at Eric.)
Eric: So...it would be a great favor to me and to Mr. Compton if you help us.
Sookie: If I find out who did it, then what?
Longshadow: We'll turn that person over to police and let the authorities handle it from there.
Sookie (facing Longshadow): Hundreds of years old and you're still a terrible liar. Come on.
(Sookie turns around in her chair to face Eric.)
Sookie: I'll make you a deal: If you promise to hand over the person who did this to the police, I'll agree to help you any time you want.
Eric: All right. Why not?
(Sookie grabs Bruce's hand and listens to his thoughts.)
Bruce (thinking): <snip>, what's this crazy bitch doing? Why did I agree to work for vampires? <snip> damn it, I knew it was a bad idea. I've been nothin' but straight with these <snip> s. Gotta be a <snip> idiot to steal from them. Jesus Christ, I was the one who reported it!
(Sookie stops listening to Bruce's thoughts.)
Sookie: Bruce, it's okay. Take a deep breath. Did you steal their money?
Bruce: No, no. You gotta believe me. I didn't do it. I swear to...
Sookie: Shhhh. Do you know who did?
Bruce: No.
Bruce (thinking): No, I wish. I would turn that <snip> in. Who was it? Couldn't have been Ginger. She's too <snip> dumb. Although she's hot as <snip>. I'd <snip> her if I could.
(Sookie looks up to Eric.)
Sookie: He's tellin' the truth.
Longshadow (to Eric): You trust the skinny human to clear the fat one?
Eric: Bring the next one in.
(A look of relief falls over Bruce's face, and he cries. A wedding band is visible on his left ring finger.)
SCENE 29: Outside of Eddie's house at night. Amy listens to Johnny Cash's song "The Fourth Man In The Fire" in Jason's truck as Lafayette leaves Eddie's townhouse. Lafayette places the cooler in the back seat of his car (an ivory-colored Mercedes), takes off his ball cap, gets into the car, and drives away. Jason's truck turns the corner and pulls into Eddie's driveway. Jason cuts off the engine as Amy rummages through her purse.
Jason: You got cash? Are you buying?
Amy: Just remember your lines, that's all I need from you. I'll handle the rest.
Jason: Hey, I'm not gonna have to have sex with him, am I?
Amy: I said that I will handle it.
(Amy glares at Jason.)
Jason: Okay.
(Jason slumps down in the driver's seat as Amy removes her lariat necklace and wraps it around her fist.)
Jason: Okay, I know you probably don't think I'm all that smart, but I do know that that vampire can kill us both! Before we even get in the door.
(Amy looks at Jason.)
Jason: You'll handle it.
(Jason looks at Amy, and looks downward, as if he's noticed something in her hand.)
Jason: What the hell is that?
(Inside the townhouse, Eddie sits in his recliner and watches TV. The Rev. Steve Newlin of the Fellowship of the Sun Church is speaking.)
Steve Newlin: While the wing nuts on the left keep pushing their so-called vampire-rights legislation, I'm more concerned with basic human rights. The right for our sons and daughters to go to school without fear of molestation by a bloodthirsty predator in the playground or in the classroom. Someone has got to take a stand for public safety over permissiveness and immorality.
(The TV cuts to a shot of a woman dressed in a purple and white dress, sitting in a room with candles lit. The letters VTV appear in red in the lower right-hand corner, and the title FANG FILES appears.)
Fang Files Hostess: If you ask me, he's protesting a little too hard. Come out of the closet, Reverend Steve! I know plenty of friendly vampires who'd like to take a bite out of you! (chuckle) Oh, but truly, it's inflammatory talk from folks like Steve Newlin who make me ashamed to call myself a human.
(Eddie's doorbell rings.)
Fang Files Hostess: Thanks for watching. We'll be bite back.
(Eddie uses the remote to turn off the TV. He gets up from the recliner, walks over to the entrance, and looks through the glass at the top of the door.)
Eddie: Who is it?
(Jason looks through the door's glass from the other side.)
Jason: I'm a friend of Lafayette Reynolds. He sent me for you.
(Jason smiles. Eddie peers downward at Jason, and opens the door. Amy rushes to the door and throws a silver hood over Eddie's head. Eddie screams and falls. It sounds as if the silver hood is burning his flesh.)
Jason: Jesus Christ!
Amy: Get his feet.
(Amy throws a silver line to Jason and begins tying Eddie's hands with her own silver line. Smoke begins coming up from underneath the hood over Eddie's head.)
Jason: Are you <snip> kiddin' me?
Amy (screaming): Get his feet!
Jason: Okay, okay.
(Jason ties Eddie's feet with the silver line.)
Eddie (screaming and crying): No, please! I'll give you anything you want.
Amy (yelling): Shut up!
Jason: Amy, what the hell?
Amy (screaming): No names, dumb ass!
Jason: I thought we were just gonna take a little blood and go.
Amy: Shut the <snip> up!
Jason: Jeez.
Amy (yelling): Now, come on, lift!
Jason: What?
Amy (yelling): Lift him up!
(Amy and Jason pick Eddie up and take him to Jason's truck.)
Eddie (screaming): Please! No! No! I'll do anything you want! Please!
(Jason and Amy put Eddie in the bed of Jason's truck, throw a blanket over him, and close the tailgate.)
SCENE 30: Fangtasia. Pam leads a blond woman holding a lit cigarette to Sookie.
Pam: This is the last of our humans.
Ginger (to Sookie): Hmm. Yummy.
(Pam seats Ginger and also puts out her cigarette.)
Eric: Ginger. This woman has some questions for you. Now, be a good girl and answer them, will you?
Ginger: Aye, aye, master.
(Sookie reaches out for Ginger's hand, and Ginger takes her hand away.)
Ginger: Don't you touch me.
Eric: Hold her still.
(Pam walks up behind Ginger and places her hands on Ginger's shoulders. Sookie takes Ginger's left hand into her right.)
Sookie: Ginger, someone's been stealin' money from the bar.
Ginger: Really? Huhn.
Ginger (thinking): Don't look at me you <snip> bitch. I didn't do nothing. I'll beat the <snip> out of you if you say I did. It wasn't me that took it. <snip>! It wasn't me
(Sookie looks up toward Eric and Pam.)
Sookie: She didn't do it... but she knows who did.
Ginger: What? <snip> you. (thinking) <snip>. How'd she know? I didn't tell anyone, I swear. <snip>! He's gonna kill me!
Sookie: Who? Who's gonna kill you? Ginger honey, what's his name?
(Smoke rises from a burning cigarette. Ginger does not answer.)
Sookie: It's blank, like her memory's been erased.
(Ginger looks up toward Eric and Pam.)
Ginger: I don't know anything, I swear.
Pam: She's been glamoured.
Sookie: It's a vampire.
(Longshadow jumps over the bar toward Sookie and exposes his fangs.)
THE END
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