She rolled over and pulled the pillow over her head, groaning pitifully… “Go away! I don't have anything for you. You want too much of me!”

I wasn't about to let her get away with that… not that easily… so I pulled the pillow off of her head. She glared at me and closed her eyes back in silence. I sat down on the bed, a bit hard, bouncing her… “I need you. My mind is a black tunnel… with nothing going through it! You're supposed to be there for me when I need you.”

“I'm tired.”

“Goddesses don't get tired.”

“I'm not a goddess.”

“Oh, don't split hairs! You're a Muse! Muses are some kind of goddesses… aren't they?”

She rolled over and looked at me. “I'm a Muse, not a slave. You don't seem to have grasped that concept. I have nothing for you. Get used to it!”

I stood up and looked at her, giving her my best ‘I-don't-believe-this' look, but it flew right over her. If she's one thing, it's consistent…

“I need a vacation.”

“Muses don't get vacations! They don't need them!”

She smiled a sort of ‘shows-what-you-know' smile. “They do if you want inspiration… which I do not have for you… because *** I *** have not had a vacation in three years!”

“Why! Why! Why did I have to get a high maintenance Muse!?”

She rolled over and swung the pillow over her head again.

“All right! Okay! You want a vacation? Fine! You can have a vacation.”

She pulled the pillow off her head and looked at me… “Really?”

“Really. On Antar.”

“Antar? That's no vacation! You want me to work!”

“No, no, no, no, no! You can relax, swim in the Golden Sea, hit the clubs, eat in the best restaurants, whatever you want. And you'll get to meet Max, Michael, Kyle, and Alex personally this time… if you want to.”

That did seem to pique her interest… “How am I supposed to get there?”

“Just wiggle your nose or whatever it is you Muses do.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “All right… I guess I could go to Antar. I'm not promising you any inspiration, mind you. But I will try to have a good time.”

“Cute! Just remember that you're my Muse. I want something awesome and exciting when you get back.”

“I'm a Muse, not a cheap goddess of the night. You need to talk to Bacchus about that. In fact, I'll speak to him for you.”

“Oh! Funny! I thought you were all ‘inspirationed' out! It looks like your wit is still sharp!”

She jumped out of bed and opened a drawer, pulling out undergarments and lingerie and throwing them into a suitcase. Then she hit the closet, filling another suitcase.

“What are you doing?”

“Packing… It's a long trip!”

“You're a Muse! Muses don't pack!”

“I'm not a guy, in case you haven't noticed. I WON'T wear the same clothes for two weeks!”

“TWO WE-… No, no, no! Not gonna happen! You can't leave me for two weeks! Two days maybe…”

I never actually knew if she heard my objections. She had already snapped her fingers and disappeared, along with two suitcases full of clothes and toiletries and six pairs of shoes…



On the shore of the Golden Sea, Maria closed her eyes and leaned back in the sand, allowing the Antarian sunshine to warm the front of her bikini-clad body and the warm sand to warm her back. “I am so glad we're back on our Antar… on our beach… under our sun… with our kids… all together again. Aren't you, Michael?”

Michael smiled and leaned over to give Maria a passionate kiss on the lips.

“Ahem…”

Maria glanced past Michael at the young woman in the chic wraparound sarong standing behind him. “Can we help you?”

“You can if you're Maria and he's Michael Guerin.”

Michael sat up and looked the young woman over suspiciously… “You have us at a disadvantage. You seem to know who we are, but I've never met you.”

“Oh you have… sort of… You just don't know it.”

“No… I think I would remember it if I had met you,” Michael insisted, putting his arm around Maria and pulling her to him, as though to tell this girl… and the world -but most of all Maria- that he was taken, and happily so.

The young lady smiled. “Well, I'm not from Antar… and I need to talk to someone about…”

“Oh! You want our exalted leader!” Michael exclaimed, grinning boyishly, “He's right over there… with Liz. That would be his wife.”

The young woman nodded. “I know.”

“What's your name?” Maria asked, “I don't remember meeting you either.”

“You have… on occasion. But that's not important.”

“What are you,” Michael asked.

The young woman seemed surprised by Michael's question. “I'm… a Muse.”

Michael looked at her, puzzled… “What planet is that?”

“It's not a planet,” said Maria, “It's a goddess… you know… of inspiration.”

Michael nodded. “Oh, yeah! I heard about them. I didn't think they were real.”

“Well, I am.”

“Yeah, so I see. How do I know you're what you say you are?”

The young woman snapped her fingers, and two suitcases fell to the beach, one on each side of Michael.

“Wha-! Where did those come from?”

She opened one of the suitcases and propped the lid up to block the sun, then she snapped her fingers again.

“Where did she go?” Michael asked, looking around.

“Right here!”

Michael looked inside the suitcase. The mysterious girl was sitting cross-legged in a yoga position on top of her clothes, shaded by the open top of the suitcase.

“You're… little!” Michael exclaimed, bending over to look at the girl who now was about nine inches tall.

“That's so cool!” Maria gushed. “I wish I could do that! I guess you'd have to be a goddess.”

“You should be able to do it just fine then,” Michael said, grinning.

Maria smiled and patted Michael on the cheek. “Flattery will get you everywhere… when we're alone. But the kids are right over there… so are Max and Liz. And the others are around here somewhere.”

Michael nodded and his lips rose into a one-sided, impish grin… “Yeah, Max might learn a few things.”

“I was thinking about the kids… but yeah… he might,” Maria agreed, with a wry smile. “We wouldn't want to corrupt him.”

“Corrupt who?” Max asked, walking up at that moment with Liz. Right behind them were Isabel, Alex, Kyle, Jeliya, Tess, and Rayylar.

“Nobody,” Maria said, grinning guiltily.

“Mom! Dad! Look what I found!”

Maria turned to look at their oldest son, ten-year-old Zorel, who had been wading in the surf. “What is it, Zor?”

“A neat seashell! It's one I haven't seen before. Who's the cute chick?”

Zorel smiled at the little Muse sitting in the suitcase, and she smiled back.

“Zorel, that's not a proper way to talk to… Muses… I don't think… is it,” Michael said, admonishing him gently, “Where did you pick up that kind of talk?”

“The Earth channel… on TV.”

“It's all right,” the Muse said, snapping her fingers and returning to normal size. “At least he thinks I'm cute. The guy I'm supposed to be inspiring wouldn't notice if I were replaced with a lump of mud!”

“Maybe he's gay,” Liz suggested.

The young woman snorted then laughed, shaking her head. “No, but I'll tell him you said that. Maybe it'll make him pay more attention to me.” She sighed… “But I doubt it.”

“Well, what's his problem,” Michael asked, “You look very attractive to me.”

The Muse smiled, and Zorel nodded enthusiastically. Maria moved a little closer to Michael and tightened her grip on his arm.

“Of course, I'm totally not looking for… you know… a girlfriend or anything like that,” Michael hurried to add. “Maria's all the goddess I can handle.”

The Muse smiled… Michael glanced at Maria and noticed a smile on her face, too.

“I don't have a girlfriend,” Zorel said, grinning widely.

Maria pulled Zorel to her, putting one arm around him as she kept the other arm locked with Michael's arm… “Zorel, you're ten years old. I think you may be just a little young to be thinking about love just yet. Don't you think, Michael?”

Michael smiled at Zorel then abruptly looked at Maria and nodded vigorously. “Um… yeah… oh, yeah… he's… too young.” He turned and winked at Zorel, and Zorel smiled.

“How old are you,” Maria asked the young woman straight out, though she did smile amiably as she asked.

“Twelve thousand… give or take a few hundred.”

“Years?” Kyle gasped.

The Muse nodded. “I'm a Muse.”

Maria gave Zorel an ‘I-told-you-so' nod. “You're way too young for her.”

“I don't mind,” Zorel said.

“Well I do,” Maria replied, her voice displaying just a hint of aggravation.

Michael laughed and pulled Maria's arm off of Zorel and over to himself. “Don't worry about Zorel. He's just infatuated. It's normal for boys… for girls, too, I hear.”

Maria sighed and nodded.

“You're cute,” the Muse said, leaning over and kissing Zorel on the cheek, “And sweet, too. But I have a long term commitment to a man who thinks I look like mud.”

“Well, that sucks,” Zorel said boldly.

The Muse smiled, and Maria's eyes opened wide. “Michael, we really need to start monitoring the Earth channel better.”

Michael nodded.

“Just for the record, Zorel,” the Muse said with a wink, “You're right. Too bad my ‘inspiree' can't seem to see it. All he ever wants is inspiration twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.”

“But isn't that what Muses are supposed to do?” Isabel asked innocently, “Inspire?”

The Muse sighed. “Well, yeah… but, well… he could notice me… just a little bit… once in a while…”

Michael smiled and looked at Maria, and she nodded understandingly. At that moment, seven-year-old Jayyd Guerin walked up and took her mom by the hand. “Hi. Who are you,” she asked, looking the young woman over.

“She's a Muse,” Zorel said.

“Oh.” Jayyd nodded, turning back to the young woman… “Say something funny!”

“Jayyd!” Maria exclaimed.

“Well, Zorel said she's amuse. That means funny in Eluymerian, doesn't it?”

Michael nodded. “She's got a point.” He put one hand on Jayyd's shoulder and smiled at her tenderly. “She's a Muse… It's two words. She's like… Shar'meya… in the Frebel-Ish stories.”

“Oh! Cool!” Jayyd exclaimed, suddenly seeming very impressed by the young woman in front of her.

The Muse smiled.

“Are you here to ‘spire us?” Jayyd asked.

The Muse grinned. “I've done that from time to time… without you knowing it. But I'm mainly here because my evil master, Doctor Crank'n'whine, wants inspiration.”

Michael chuckled. “It looks to me like he's got YOU inspired… in a manner of speaking.”

The Muse nodded. “He wants me to talk to you guys and find out something about you that no one else knows… something totally radical and… unknown.”

“Us? Michael and me?” Maria asked, surprised.

“Well… or Max and Liz or Isabel and Alex or Kyle and Jeliya… or all of you.”

“So he sent you all the way from Earth to get a story?” Maria asked.

The Muse nodded.

“Is he like… a pizzarazzi or PapaNazi or whatever those guys are,” Michael asked, “The ones always looking for pictures and a wild story?”

The Muse grinned. “Paparazzi. No… actually, he's one of a number of people who still keep you guys alive since you were… abandoned by the big guy.”

“God?”

The Muse shook her head and pointed downward.

“You mean… HIM?” Maria asked, horrified.

The Muse nodded. “A TV exec… down on Earth.”

Michael shook his head. “That's old news. They could never cancel us from the memories and hearts of the people who love us. As long as they live, so will we. We are alive and kicking, I assure you.”

“And nobody is happier about that than I am,” the Muse said, looking Michael, then Max, Kyle, and Alex, over wistfully.

“Well… there is one thing you could tell her… about you, Michael,” Max suggested hesitantly.

“There's nothing that anyone needs to know about me that isn't already known,” Michael replied, shaking his head.

“Sure there is, Michael! There's that stuff about your secret life,” Maria urged, “It's okay to tell everybody now. We aren't on Earth anymore. Besides, I think the kids would enjoy hearing it. Just keep it clean!”

“I don't like talking about me, Maria,” Michael mumbled insistently, “Can't we talk about Max… or Kyle! Let's tell her something about Kyle!”

“Oh, like there's anything anybody would want to know about Kyle,” Alex said dramatically.

“I live by the wisdom of Buddha,” Kyle retorted, “They might want to hear some philosophy.”

Alex yawned. “Old news, Kyle. Nobody's interested. I want to hear what kind of secret life Michael had that I didn't know about. Now that has promise… knowing Michael.”

Kyle shrugged. “Well, like Buddha said… ‘If you can't beat them, join them.'”

“That was Buddha?” Alex asked, surprised.

Kyle shrugged, “Could have been. Everybody has said it at one time or another. So Michael, what kind of perverted, sick life have you been hiding from the rest of us that I was never told about?”

“Wouldn't you love to know,” Michael retorted feistily, “Too bad I'm never going to tell you.”

Kyle looked at Michael suspiciously… “Wait a minute… Maria knows, Liz knows… and Max knows? Does anyone else know?”

Michael smiled. “No. And they're never going to. Too bad, Valenti. You're outta luck!”

“Oh wait!” Kyle said, looking like the fox that was about to swallow the rabbit, “I know the perfect story to tell her! Yxtiar!”

Michael looked at Kyle suspiciously. “Maria and I spent some time in the hot springs there. But you weren't there.”

Kyle grinned. “No, but I heard something… about you.”

Michael's smile disappeared. “What?”

“It had to do with an underwater current in one of the hot springs and your swim trunks… and a ticket for streaking through a tourist area… or something like that.”

Michael spun around and looked at Maria with a look of betrayal.

“I… I didn't… I swear, Michael! I don't know how he found out! I would never…”

“What do you want, Kyle?” Michael asked, though the question came with an implied and understood threat. Michael WOULD –absolutely WOULD- dig up something on Kyle to get him back with. It was not a matter of if but when.

“I want to hear about your so-called secret life… the one only Maria, Liz, and Max know about.”

“And you'll never mention the Yxtiar thing again?”

“Cross my heart.”

Michael looked at Kyle for a long time, until Kyle began to wonder if he had made a mistake. Maybe Michael had some kind of X-ray eyes like Superman and he was burning a hole in him as they stood there. Kyle checked his shirt. No smoke… no holes… at least so far.

“Okay,” Michael said unexpectedly. “I'll tell. Like Max said, we're not on Earth anymore. I guess it can't hurt for you guys to hear it now.”

“Awesome!” Zorel said, plopping down on the sand beside his friends, Danyy Valenti and Alyyx Evans. Maya, JoLeesa, Andya, Jayyd, Kryys, Mareeya, Ceelya, Jiba, Drel, and the other children joined them. The adults sat down on the sand to listen, too, along with the Muse.

Michael took a big breath and shook his head. He really did not like talking about himself. He would much rather be talking about Kyle… if he had anything to tell. And he would… sooner or later…

Can't wait for more!

I'm going to move it into the M/M Forum...I Want You To See Me

Codename: TABASCO
(The Awesome Background And Secret Chronicles Of Michael Guerin)

Episode 101 – Coffee & Tabasco (The Morning After)

Max was sleeping… snoring actually… when I climbed through his window. I know how he could be so calm with everything that had happened, but that's Max. Did I say he was asleep? Okay, he was snoring, but he could still hear a pin drop, even in his sleep. He opened his eyes and got up slowly, picking up a baseball bat and a flashlight that he kept near his bed, then he lifted the baseball bat over his head, expecting to smack the hell out of the intruder…

Hold it there! Don't hit me!

Seeing it was me, Max put the bat down. Argument with Hank?

Couldn't sleep.

He laid a sleeping bag on the floor for me and climbed back into bed and sat there for a moment before lying back down. I guess he thought I needed a place to sleep… you know, because of Hank and all. When I made it clear that I was not there to join his snore fest and just wanted to talk, he shrugged. Hey, I was sleeping.

Amazing. He wanted to sleep, and I wanted to talk about our future. I mean, the key to our entire existence was out there, and Max wanted to sleep! Valenti had been hounding Liz all day about what happened in the CrashDown that morning. He showed her a picture of a dead man with a silver handprint on him… like the silver handprint Max had left on her. Kyle got a glimpse of the handprint on Liz, and he told his father, the sheriff. Valenti never saw it himself, but he knew he was onto something; he could smell it. The important thing is, though, that picture proved that there was someone else out there… someone like us… someone who was here in 1959 when that picture was made… someone who would know where we came from, who we were, why we were here, and maybe… just maybe… how to get back to our own planet. And besides, I needed someone to talk to about what had happened tonight, and Max was going to hear me even if I had to prop him up with an ironing board and drop the iron on his head to make him listen. He was the only one I could tell.

“Max, listen! I caught the two guys that shot Liz tonight… I hung them on a light pole and called the highway patrol.”

“Good for you.”

Max lay there for a few moments then rolled over slowly and looked at me…

“You did what? What did you just say?”

“I said…”

“I heard what you said! Michael, are you nuts! Have you lost your mind? You're the one who said we need to stay under the radar, out of sight… and you just invited the feds… and Valenti… into our lives? Why don't you just send them an inscribed invitation! Aliens, at your service. Pick up or delivery anytime! We'll come to you!

“It's not like that, Maxwell.”

“So what is it like, Michael? Tell me.”

“I didn't exactly hang around to chit chat with the sheriff when he got there. I left the two corndogs hanging from the pole, and I took off on my bike. By the time Valenti got there, I was long gone.”

Max was silent for almost a full minute before he spoke again…

“You caught them, huh… the guys that shot Liz?”

“Yep.”

“Well, that's good… That's… that's good… as long as no one knows that we're involved.”

“There's nothing to tie them to us, Max… except you healing Liz, that is.”

“Don't start, Michael.”

“I'm not starting. It's done. I'm working on damage control now!”

“There was no damage. We just have to be careful in the future.”

“We've always had to be careful.”

“Right. So nothing has changed.”

“Everything has changed, Max!”

“How do you mean?”

I leaned against the wall wearily. “I enjoyed it, Max. I enjoyed taking those men down… and hanging them up there on that light pole by the seat of their pants. Every time the lights flickered and sparks fell down into their pants they howled… and I enjoyed it. That's not normal, Max.”

Max grinned. “I don't know… I'm enjoying it just thinking about it. I don't think it's abnormal, Michael. You have normal feelings. Those guys almost killed Liz. Hell, they did kill Liz… if I hadn't intervened and saved her. They're scum. They would have hurt others sooner or later. You did the world a favor. So you really put a good scare into them, huh?”

“Yeah… They think there's a superhero out there called The Avenger.”

“How very original.”

“Yeah, okay, so it's been used before. I didn't exactly have time to come up with an all-original, Maxwell-sanctioned name. It just popped into my head. I was avenging Liz, so… I said I was the Avenger.”

“Makes sense.”

“Yeah. It does.”

“But it's all over now, Michael. The bad guys are in the sheriff's hands… and you're no superhero. We're just two guys in high school… nothing unusual about us.”

“Right.”

I nodded, but inside, I wasn't sure. I had enjoyed a taste… a very small taste… of something deeply satisfying, and it tasted pretty good, a lot better than what I usually tasted living with Hank. It was a feeling I had never experienced before. I wasn't sure anymore what the future held. Maybe with my alien heritage I was born to be some kind of superhero. Somewhere inside, I knew that I was supposed to protect Max and Isabel, so I was already supposed to be a kind of hero in a way. Why not a superhero? Yeah… Why not? I could do that! But not tonight… I would need at least a couple of hours sleep. In the morning, after my morning coffee… Stirred, not shaken, with Tabasco.



The next day, things started to get complicated. Mr. Singer, the geometry teacher, didn't show up; instead, this dame named Topolsky pops in. She pretended to be a substitute teacher, but she sucked at geometry. Liz kept correcting her. Then she said she was really a guidance counselor and was concerned about me. The truth is, she was gathering information about me for the FBI. Liz came to the trailer park to warn me after she found Topolsky gathering my records together.

“You're sure it was my records, it was definitely my records?”

“Yeah.”

“So she's looking for me.”

“I don't know what's going on, Michael. I just thought I should tell you.”

“Thanks.”

“Did you know they caught the guys that shot me, Michael?”

“Yeah… actually… I think I heard something about that.”

“The sheriff told me this morning. He kept asking me if I'd ever heard of someone called ‘Avenger.' Best I could gather, the men claimed to have been hung up on a light pole by this Avenger, whoever he is. Could be a last name, I guess… Tom Avenger, Harold Avenger… I've heard stranger names. The sheriff thinks they were just drunk and rambling, though.”

“Why would he ask YOU about this Avenger person?”

“I don't know. It was strange. He acted like it was all a big joke, but it seemed like more than that to me. I don't know what he's up to, Michael, but I thought you should know.”

“Thanks… again.”

“You're welcome.”

“Liz.”

“Yeah?”

“There's something… you ought to know. You trusted me by bringing me this information. I want you to know I appreciate that. And…”

“Yes?”

“And… I'm going to trust you with something. Can I? You know, trust you?”

“Michael, I would never do anything that would betray you guys, if that's what you mean.”

“Yeah, something like that. What I'm going to tell you… only Max knows right now… I mean, besides me. You can never tell anyone, unless I say it's okay.”

Liz nodded.

“I couldn't sleep last night, so I rode down the highway on my bike and stopped at a rest stop. Those two guys pulled in and started arguing, and I heard them talking about shooting you and that they were going to come back and rob the CrashDown and kill whoever was there so there'd be no witnesses…”

Liz gasped, and her hand went over her mouth reflexively. I think she turned pale, too.

“You see, Liz, I really didn't have a choice. I couldn't let them do that… and… and besides, I figured I would be avenging you… and us, too. It wasn't planned… the name and all. It just popped out. I know it was stupid. The Avenger… that was me. Yeah! Really stupid, I know.”

Liz shook her head slowly, as she processed what I had just told her.

“It wasn't stupid, Michael. You saved everyone who might have been there in the café… Dad, Mom… Maria… Who knows who else!”

Suddenly, Liz stopped and planted a kiss on my cheek. I swear I never saw it coming. I probably turned red. I know I had a hard time finding my voice again. I knew it was just like a friendship kind of thing… gratitude and all… but damn! I understood why Max had to save her.

“So, uh, now you know, huh…”

Liz nodded thoughtfully. “You know, Michael… that makes you an honest to God superhero. I kind of like it, actually. It's not stupid at all. You've got powers that people here don't have, so you are a superhero. Well, you are if you use your powers for good, like you did last night. I guess that would be putting yourself and Max and Isabel in danger, though; I mean, if you made a habit of it. I know you guys have to be careful and appear to be just like everyone else and all. I understand that.”

I nodded, but I was thinking about what Liz had said. Hell, I'd been thinking about it ever since last night's little incident. I liked being somebody special, even if nobody else could ever know it was me. It made me somebody. Being a frikkin' hybrid alien had never made me anything but wanted before… and not in a good way. It was a curse. I didn't even know what planet I was from or anything about my people. But being a superhero was something. Yeah, that was something I could do. And it would give some meaning to this freaky DNA I was born with. I still wasn't sure that I would ever do anything like last night again. It did pose a certain amount of risk to us, and I have enough headaches taking care of Max and Isabel now. Who needs to add more steam to a whistling cauldron anyway? I've got enough on my shoulders just trying to find out who we are… not to mention getting us back home someday, wherever that is. But I knew one thing for certain now. The idea would always be there… in the back of my mind.



Unfortunately, it seemed that Topolsky wasn't the only FBI person in Roswell these days. An Agent Hart showed up in Sheriff Valenti's office and said he was on assignment and that the sheriff should just go about his business as usual. This pissed Valenti off, being that the guy was in Valenti's office, in Valenti's jurisdiction and all, and wouldn't even say what he wanted.

See, my problem with that is that having a federal agent sitting smack dab in the middle of my station house isn't exactly business as usual.

My orders are to not leave this chair until I'm relieved.

Uh-huh. Agent Hart, the FBI has no jurisdiction here. Now I'm going to ask you to please get up and leave. And take your folding chair with you.

Valenti kicked Agent Hart out, but the feds were back before the sun could set, and this time they removed all of Valenti's files from his office and ordered him to forget they ever existed. Yeah! Like that was gonna happen! The problem, for us, was that the picture we wanted to get our hands on was probably in the sheriff's desk and might be found by those yahoo agents going in and out of his office. We had to find it before they did.

The only way I could see to get in the sheriff's office without being seen was to go in the window, but it was on the second floor, and a locked grate covered it. No problem for a superhero, I told myself. Climbing up to the second floor ledge was easy. There, I used my powers to open the grate then quickly slid into Valenti's office and started going through his files. Max and Isabel must have arrived at about that time, because they saw the window grate open and knew that I was there. They also saw Valenti pulling into the station.

Max, you get Michael out of there. I'll keep Valenti out of his office as long as I can.

Max slipped in through the window. I found the picture, and I also found a strange key hidden inside the lid of Valenti's thermos, so I took it; but when I held it in my hand, I had a vision that made me stagger backwards. The sheriff must have heard the noise, because we heard him coming down the hall, so we got out quickly, and Max sealed the grate back. Then we jumped down into a garbage dumpster. Even superheroes get dirty sometimes.

Told you it was no big deal, Max!

That night, Liz sat watching the stars, her diary on her lap. Next to her, on her bed, lay the afternoon paper, with a short article on the front page about the arrest of the shooters from the CrashDown Café the night before… and the strange rumor of an unknown avenger.

I guess it was a lot to put on her shoulders. She already couldn't tell anyone that Max had saved her life… or about us, who we really are and all… and now she couldn't tell anyone that the guy running around Roswell pretending to be a superhero was actually just an alien.

Liz traced a line with one finger through the stars in the sky, as though searching for ‘the one,' then she sighed and began to write in her diary…

Ever since I found out about Max and Michael and Isabel, I've been thinking a lot about secrets… that for everyone who has a secret, there's someone else who needs to know what that secret is. How sometimes secrets keep people from feeling like they belong, and sometimes secrets make you feel like you do belong. And now even I, Liz Parker, the smallest of small town girls with the simplest of lives… even I have something to hide.

Can't wait for more!

Codename: TABASCO
(The Awesome Background And Secret Chronicles Of Michael Guerin)

Author's Note: On the TV series, Roswell, “Monsters” was episode 102 and “Leaving Normal” was episode 103. I have reversed them here.

Episode 103

The Valenti Factor (Monsters)

When you go with your heart all kinds of things can happen. We agreed a long time ago to never let our hearts lead us and to never leave normal… or whatever normal was to us back then… but to live our lives in self-imposed emotional isolation. The problem with emotional isolation is it's only appropriate for, well… monsters… freaks of nature… genies in a bottle. To some people, that was what we were… monsters. At least, we were sure that's what people would see us as… if they knew the truth about us. So we had placed ourselves in this bottle that we looked out at the world from. But what we did not know at the time was that leaving the state that we called “normal,” leaving the genie's bottle, would actually be our first step toward proving that we were not monsters at all but were actually very, very human, at least in an emotional sense.

Liz stole Max's heart long before he ever healed her that day in the CrashDown, but it was Maria who reached out to us… in her own way… for no reason other than friendship, and already knowing what we were. She had pretty much forced Liz to tell her what really happened after that day at the CrashDown, and then she had freaked out when Liz told her. But like most things Maria, it just took a little time for her to adjust.

And as unlikely as it seems, it was Isabel who reached back… Okay, if you don't count our lovesick resident “alien” Romeo over there.

Maria was having a bad day at the CrashDown and Agnes refused to work. For Agnes, showing up for work was work. The rest of the day she spent taking cigarette breaks. This particular day, though, Liz was at the hospital with her Grandma Claudia and Maria was taking care of the café by herself… I mean with Agnes… Okay, by herself. And when Agnes announced, between puffs from her cigarette, that the customers would get their food when they got their food, Maria kind of freaked. Then Isabel came along, and alien-human relations took a big leap.

Okay, Isabel, I am going to hate myself for this, but I need to ask you for a favor that will leave me forever indebted to you. I am so dead here. Will you help me wait tables?

You're kidding, right?

Please.

To put this as succinctly as possible, I'm not really a service oriented person.

Wait! Wait! Wait! Liz's grandmother is in the hospital, okay? And if she doesn't think that I can do this, it's just going to give her one more thing to worry about. Please! Look, it's not for me, it's for Liz.

Well, since you put it that way… No.

So that was that, right? Yeah, right! If you think that, you really don't know Maria! By the way, Isabel, you looked really cute in that little alien waitress costume. OW! Hey! Ouch! Well, it's true, you did! Anyway, after that, Isabel suggested to Max that he go to Liz… because of her Grandmother being in the hospital and all.

You're the one who's always telling me I have to stay away from her. What are you saying, Iz?

I'm just saying that, you know, if something like this happened to grandma or grandpa, I wouldn't want to be kept away from who I really needed.

And that was it. That was the real start of alien/human relations, dysfunctional as they were in the beginning… if you don't count our star-struck Romeo and Juliet.

The next day, Maria was driving down the road in her car, singing Genie in a Bottle, by Christina Aguilera --believe it or not-- when she noticed ISABEL'S car broken down on the side of the road. It was being towed… again… and as some perverted quirk of fate would have it, the tow truck had this fake spaceship on the back of it. That made Maria smile, and she pulled over and leaned out the window…

Going home, Isabel?

Isabel was not amused, and the look on her face let Maria know it.

Um, I mean… um… do you need a ride?

Isabel stared at Maria for a moment and then got into the car. Right away, she started to “fix” some little flaws in Maria's car… stuff like the air conditioning and the stereo… as a friend, you know.

Did I say Maria freaks out easily? Uh, USED TO freak out easily I mean? Well, she did. Then, out of the blue, Maria asked Isabel if her mom knew that she and Max were aliens. “Different,” I think, was the word she used.

You mean horrible disgusting creatures from outer space who sneak into your room at night and perform excruciating experiments, Maria?

Maria turned and stared at Isabel for a moment, and when she looked back at the road, there was a car right in front of her. She slammed on the brakes but it was too late. Did I mention quirks of fate? Well, it was Sheriff Valenti's car that she rear ended, and he got out and sauntered back to where Maria was slouching down in her seat trying to cover her face with her hand…

Oh my God! Oh my God!

Valenti looked at Maria then at Isabel…

Ladies.

“You're not going to take me in again, are you, Sheriff?”

Valenti took a deep breath, and Amy must have still been fresh in his mind, because he rubbed his head without realizing he was doing it.

“I don't think that will be necessary. You do have a driver's license, don't you? Please say you do!”

“Oh, yes! That… That is a definite… uh… yes! Definitely!”

“Can I see it… please?”

Maria dug in her purse and produced her driver's license, registration, and insurance card. Sheriff Valenti looked at them and handed them back with a smile.

“It's only a minor ding. I'll just write it up when I get back to the office. I'll need you to drop by my office sometime, though… soon… and sign some insurance papers for me. The insurance should take care of it. Oh! And, uh… after school will be just fine.”

“Yes, sir… Sheriff.”

Valenti didn't push things then; but later, he showed up at the CrashDown and ordered a Coke then whispered to Maria that he was there to protect her.

We knew what he was fishing for… something so he could lock us up as monsters… little green aliens… or whatever. And frankly, we were worried that Maria wouldn't be able to take the heat. I mean, she did have a reputation, back then, for being, uh… um… uh… a nice girl whose naïve… innocence… might be taken advantage of… by a determined person like Valenti… to get information, you know? Everybody in town knew that Valenti's father had tried all his life to prove the existence of aliens, and we figured the apple didn't fall very far from the tree, you know what I mean?

Maria did go to see Valenti the next morning, and she stood her ground with him. She didn't rat us out, and I was proud of her. That afternoon, after school, we all got together, and Liz and Maria were playing around. Somehow, Maria saw this paper in the principal's office and found out that I had a birthday a few days before, and she and Liz found out that Hank didn't get me anything. Well, that was no big news flash; he never got me anything. He never even acknowledged my birthdays. Most of the time, I even forgot that I had a birthday. It wasn't really a “birthday” anyway, you know what I mean? More like a hatched day. Who cared. Not me. But social services put down the day I was found as my birthday, so that was it, officially. Like I said, Hank could have cared less. But Liz and Maria had a little cake and some candles on it in the back of the CrashDown when I got there. Then they insisted on giving me gifts. They hadn't had time to buy anything, so it was just in fun stuff, you know. Liz gave me a pair of CrashDown antennas to wear on my head. As if! And Maria gave me a CrashDown apron, the one she was wearing. I wanted to say, “No way,” you know, but the truth is, all I could feel was a big lump in my throat. It wasn't really what they were giving me… that was all just in fun stuff, you know. It was just that they… well, they cared enough to… they thought about… Anyway…

I think I swallowed some salt water while I was swimming. Gets stuck in my throat sometimes, you know.

After I left the CrashDown, I stuffed the antennas into my pocket and looked at the apron. Maria had been wearing that apron. I don't know why, but I decided to stick it inside my shirt for safe keeping. Well, hey, it wouldn't fit in my pocket, and I wasn't going to wear it. And besides… it felt kind of… right… next to my heart. Nobody else ever cared before enough to give me anything.

I decided to go for a ride and clear my head… sort out my thoughts and all, so I rode down to the mall for a while then headed out toward the desert to watch the sunset and be alone. I had a hard time handling feelings back then. I wasn't… accustomed to it. With Hank, you couldn't have feelings. You had to bottle them up. If you didn't, you'd do something you regretted.

As I was driving into the desert on my motorbike I see this car off the side of the road, and I wondered about it. Someone might be broke down or somethin' out there. Of course, I couldn't rescue anyone on a bike. But I guessed if I had to I could go get help for them, you know? So I pulled my bike off the road and looked around. I hadn't seen anyone walking on the road. I didn't see anyone off the road either, so I was just about to go when suddenly I hear noises coming from the other side of a big sand dune about a hundred feet away, so I went to check it out. I parked my bike and climbed up the sand dune. It sounded like someone getting hit. I know the sound a fist hitting someone makes…

Anyway, when I got to the top of the dune, I saw this guy beating up on some girl. It looked like he was trying to get his way with her, you know, and she was resisting. He had ripped off most of her clothes and was punching her in the face. I let him have it with a blast that knocked him clean over the other side of the next dune. Then, realizing what I had done, I tried to cover my face so the girl couldn't identify me. I should have sensed danger, but I let my emotions cloud my senses. As I covered my face, I got tackled from behind… hard… and knocked over the dune. I didn't stay down, though. I rolled back on my feet, and the two guys that tackled me got a big surprise they never expected. They got thrown over the dune with their friend. When they got up, they all took off running and I heard their car leave in a hurry. Then I looked at the girl again. She was shaking and scared.

“Are you okay? Geez, I'm sorry. That was stupid. Of course you're not okay. Are you hurt? Bad I mean?”

The girl sniffed and tried to wipe the sand and dirt off her face. Then she realized that she was exposed and tried to cover herself up, but her clothes were ripped too badly. I took off my shirt and put it around her…

“Do you know those guys?”

“They're from a school in Tucson… Arizona. They're in Roswell for the game.”

“The football game… at the high school?”

“Yeah.”

“Jocks?”

“I'm not sure. Maybe. Or they may just be in town to see the game. They're from Tucson, though.”

I thought about it for a moment then nodded. “I don't want to leave you here by yourself, and I don't have a cell phone on me.”

“I had a cell phone. One of them took it away from me; he threw it over that way somewhere.”

“I'll find it.”

I hurried up to the top of the dune and looked around. I guess I was lucky, because I spotted a glint of light in the sand a distance away, and it was her cell phone. I hurried back to her with it.

“I want you to call the sheriff's office. I happen to know the number by heart. Don't ask. Tell him you're six miles east of the city limits on the side of the road. Tell him what happened. But you have to promise me you won't tell him anything about me. You can't give him any description of me… at least not the right one. My life… other lives… depend on it. Please.”

She nodded, seeming to understand. I looked at her face, trying to gauge it… to get any feel at all for what she might do. Would she tell him? I couldn't be sure, but I had a gut feeling that she wouldn't. I know, a gut feeling is not much to go on, but it's all I had. I wouldn't tell Max or Isabel. I can't stand smug “I told you so” looks, and Isabel is a force to reckon with when she's furious.

I dialed the number and handed the phone to the girl, then someone picked up on the other end.

“Sheriff's office. Valenti speaking.”

“Hello, Sheriff? My name is Corinne…”

I stayed with her until I saw a dust trail coming a few miles down the road. Then I used my powers to remove the tire tracks my bike had made and I nodded toward the oncoming car.

“He'll be here in a couple of minutes. I have to go.”

“Thanks. I won't tell him about you, I promise.”

I nodded, hoping that she meant it. Then I took off on my bike, erasing my tracks behind me as I went. On the road, I quickly changed the color of my bike with my powers and slipped my helmet on over my head. Moments later, I passed the sheriff heading toward where Corinne was waiting. I knew she would be okay… and several guys were about to get busted by the long arm of the law. Valenti could be a pain in the ass, but you had to give him his due… He took a big bite out of crime in Roswell. He kept things pretty calm, for the most part. I had no doubt that those three guys would be sitting in his jail cell very soon.



Jim Valenti closed his book and helped Corinne into his patrol car.

“You can't describe the person who saved you… anything at all?”

“I'm sorry, Sheriff. I was blinded. Those guys rubbed my face in the dirt, and my eyes were blurry… all I could see was a shadowy figure. He saved my life, though, and chased them off. I know that. He's a hero.”

“So it was a guy then… who saved you.”

“Yes… I think… maybe… or it could have been a girl. It was one or the other.”

Valenti sighed and put his car into gear then pulled onto the road and headed back toward town. An hour later, he pulled up at the station again, after dropping Corinne off at the hospital. Deputy Hansen was there to meet him as he pulled up.

“I heard, Sheriff. Is she okay?”

“She'll be okay. Just took some hard punches to the face… probably a broken nose. Looked like maybe a fractured cheekbone, too. And her eyes got dirt in them. Clothes were ripped off of her. Three guys… sewer slime… one was battering her and the other two were apparently watching. She had a man's shirt wrapped around her when I got there, but she couldn't remember where she got it. I'm heading over to the high school. They'll be able to give me a starting place where I might be able look for our three new jail residents.”

“Is this the shirt, Sheriff,” Hansen asked, reaching into the car and removing a man's shirt from the back seat.

“Yeah. When the medics took her out of the car they wrapped a light blanket around her and tossed the shirt back into my car. They thought it was one of mine. I looked at it though. It's a common shirt… nothing unusual. Thousands of them out there. Could belong to anyone.”

Hansen handed the shirt back to Valenti, and Valenti looked it over again and sighed. Then he noticed a string hanging down, and he tugged on it gently.

“Well, hello! What have we here?”

Something peeled away from the inside of the shirt and fell into Valenti's hands.

“What is it, Sheriff?”

Jim smiled, holding up an apron and staring at the alien motif emblazoned on it…

“A clue, Hansen. I'd call it a clue. After I throw three pieces of sewer scum into my jail, I'm going to make a little courtesy call at the CrashDown. Somebody there is missing something. Hop in the car. I've got a sudden desire to go huntin'.”

“Hunting?”

“For sewer rats.”

Hansen nodded and climbed in on the passenger side of Valenti's car.



The administrator at Roswell High laid a list of names down on the counter, and Jim looked it over carefully…

“Is this all the students from Tucson who are here for the game?”

“All the ones who came on the bus, Sheriff.”

“Could they have come on their own… not on the bus?”

The administrator nodded. “Sure. If they did, there's still a possibility that we can find out who they are, though. There's a roster of students attending the game. The athletic department has it. Everyone has to get a ticket or a student ID pass to get into the game.”

“You wouldn't have pictures of any of these students would you?”

“No, sorry. Oh! You know what, though! I've got a Tucson High yearbook. It has pictures of all the students, whether they came for the game or not.”

“Beautiful! Can I borrow it? I promise I'll bring it back.”

“Sure. Take your time, Sheriff.”

Jim took the book and handed it to Hansen. “We're going over to the hospital… to see if our girl can ID her attackers.”



Corinne turned the pages, shaking her head slowly after each one… “No… No… that doesn't look like any of them. She turned the page again and her breath caught in her throat… “Oh!” She pointed a shaking finger at the picture of a burly-looking boy with a smug smile, as her eyes welled up with tears… “This one… and right below him… he's one of them, too. And the one beside him is the other one.”

Jim nodded and looked at the names. “Same class all three. Seniors. Looks like they won't be graduating with their class. Too bad. Now I just have to find out where they're staying. You did fine, Corinne… real fine!”

Back in the car, Jim made a few quick calls and got the name and room number of the motel where the three were staying, then he shook his head sadly… “What makes three guys, seniors, with their whole lives ahead of them throw it all away and screw their lives up like this?”

Hansen shrugged. “Just because someone made it as far as they did doesn't mean they got there through charitable works. They sound like the type who would pull butterflies' wings off and torture puppies and kittens when they were young. They've just moved up to people now… people who can't defend themselves at least.”

Jim looked over at Hansen and nodded. “Their type are always cowards when you get right down to it. They want to hurt others, not get hurt. They think the world owes them everything and that they should get whatever they want handed to them on a silver platter. Well, they've got a surprise coming.”

Jim pulled his squad car into the motel's parking lot and looked for the room number. “There it is. Back me up, Hansen.”

“You got it, Sheriff.”

Jim walked up to the door and knocked on it. A moment later, it opened slightly, and someone looked out. Then it slammed back quickly, but Jim was quicker, kicking the door open before it could be relocked.

“SHERIFF'S OFFICE! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!”

Jim had his service revolver drawn, and the guy in front of him dropped to the floor, his hands over his head.

“Down all the way… on the floor… spread eagle. Where are the other two?”

“I'm the only one here. There's nobody else. I haven't done anything. What do you want with me?”

“You're under arrest for kidnapping, attempted rape, assault and battery… Any of this jog your memory?”

At that moment, Hansen came in through the back entrance, his gun drawn and two wide-eyed young men walking in front of him, their hands over their heads.

“Caught these two trying to make a run for it, Sheriff.”

“Good work, Hansen.” Jim looked at the guy on the floor… “Are these the two who aren't staying here with you?”

“I want my lawyer.”

“You'll get one. You two, get down on the floor, too. Spread eagle, beside your friend…

You have the right to…”

Jim rattled off their rights then handcuffed their hands behind their backs, as they grimaced…

“You're hurting me, Sheriff. That's too tight,” the first one complained.

“Good,” Jim muttered, putting a finger under the cuffs to test the tightness. “Any looser and you wouldn't be cuffed. Buck up and bear it. Life is going to get a lot harder for you three in the near future. You might as well get used to it.”

Hansen smiled.

“I didn't touch her,” one of the two guys Hansen had caught said. “I was just…”

Jim nodded. “Watching? Standing guard? It's called aiding and abetting… to kidnapping, attempted rape, and assault and battery.”

“You're wasting your time with us,” the first guy said bitterly. “The one you should be arresting is that monster that attacked us. He probably attacked the girl, too. You should be out there looking for him… protecting the citizens from things like that.”

“Yeah, he's not human,” the second guy agreed. “He was glowing all over, and he threw us over a hundred feet… without even touching us. No human can do that. That's who you should be tracking down, Sheriff… instead of bothering some nice guys just minding their own business. You should go find that monster.”

Jim took a deep breath and seemed to think about what the two had just said for an unusual amount of time before answering seriously…

“There are different kinds of monsters in this world… There's your kind… the kind I'm sworn to defend our innocent citizens from… and there's… other kinds. I'm starting to have a lot of respect for one of those other kinds… an awful lot of respect. Help me get them into the car, Hansen. We'll drop them off in a cell then head over to the café… you know the one. Do you have any Tylenol on you?”

“No, sir. Why?”

“Because I'm going to be getting a headache.”

Super powers! That's awesome!

Codename: TABASCO
(The Awesome Background And Secret Chronicles Of Michael Guerin)

Episode 106

Sweet n' Spicy
& Writings On The Wall (River Dog)

By the time the sun had begun to rise, we were already back on the road and on our way to Marathon. Frankly, Maria and I got very little sleep in Aladdin's pleasure boudoir that night, but I have to say that us sleeping together did give me a kind of new perspective. Huh? Yes we did! Okay, “in the same room.” Geez! Details! Anyway, as I was saying, sleeping with Maria kind of gave me this whole new perspective about her, you know? I wasn't ready to admit it, most of all to myself, but I was kind of starting to like her… in a weird kind of way. I mean, she could have been real hard nosed about being, you know, “abducted,” and me taking her mom's car, and all that other stuff, and she could've had me arrested and ruined any hope we ever had of finding out who we were. But she didn't do that. She gave me a chance. Nobody ever really did that before Maria.

It took about four hours to get to Marathon, Texas, but when we got there, there it was… just like I told them. Not Marathon, the dome. They couldn't doubt me anymore, not even Isabel…

It's just like you drew it, Michael.

I told you it was something.

But when I took the key out of my pocket and stuck it in the front door, the door didn't open. So Max decided to unlock it with his powers…

We've come this far. Maybe it unlocks something inside.

Then we saw that the place had already been ransacked pretty good before we got there. As Liz pointed out at the time, somebody was definitely looking for something. Max figured whatever it was they were looking for they'd probably already found it a long time ago, but I wasn't so sure. I held the key in my hand again, and suddenly I saw this blurry image.

There's something here. A room.

Where?

I don't know, Max. It's hidden.

That's when I saw another keyhole… I put the key in and turned it, and a secret door popped up out of the floor.

Jackpot, Maximilian.

We went down some steps into the hidden room, and I was just starting to look around when I heard something that sounded like footsteps over our heads.

Max waved his hand to get our attention… Somebody's up there!

I had a good idea who it was…

“Great! Batman's here. I've got to tell him to stop following me like this. He's becoming a boor already.”

Isabel looked at me like I'd totally lost my mind. “Batman? What's that supposed to mean, Michael? Honestly, I wonder about you sometimes.”

Then, suddenly, there was another sound… a sound I knew too well. It was someone's head getting smacked… hard. And I knew whose head it was. I also knew he was unconscious, because I heard him hit the floor like a ton of bricks. I could only guess who it was that whacked him… one of Topolsky's agents… Hell, maybe even Topolsky herself. Topolsky wasn't exactly some shy, shrinking violet, if you know what I mean. She wouldn't mind beaning the sheriff if he stood on her shadow… Back then, that is… before all that stuff happened that brought her over to our side. Now she's one of us. Crazy thing is, I think getting beaned in the head addled the sheriff, ‘cause he seemed to enjoy it. He was like, ‘Damn, that woman is hot.' Not right at that moment, of course… he was unconscious… but after he woke up again and his headache wore off. He sounded like a new member of the Agent Topolsky Admiration Society. Membership: one… well, two, really… him and her. But whatever, that was his problem. We had our own problems. What we came to Marathon to find was about to be snatched away right under our noses. So I started grabbing all the papers I could and stuffing them into a box…

Whoever's up there looking for us isn't gonna stop until they find us. I'm gonna find out everything I can before they do.

We probably would have been caught if Maria and Liz hadn't seen a rat run into a hidden tunnel. We followed the rat and got out just in time… but not before Isabel saw this necklace with an alien-looking symbol on it and palmed it.

As we were driving off, I saw Topolsky pop out of the tunnel we had just come out of. She was onto us. But it wasn't going to happen… not this time. We had slipped through her fingers. I knew deep inside that I probably owed Sheriff Valenti for that. If his head hadn't got in the way and slowed her down… Anyway, I just hoped his head would be okay. It was hard. I had a feeling he'd be fine. And I had a feeling, too, that Topolsky would make herself real scarce before he woke up again.

Driving back home with Maria in her mom's car, we were talking about different stuff… You know… who we are and all mostly, and I realized that I wasn't the only one whose emotions were being challenged that day…

…All this time that I've known you, Michael, I've just always thought of you as, like, this “guy,” you know… like this weird guy from the other side of the tracks going nowhere in life; which, of course, you know, you still are that, but… what I didn't realize was that there's this whole other side to you.

What, that I'm from…

Well, clearly there's that; but putting that aside, underneath that, um, weird, poorly bathed exterior, there's, like, this whole… deeply wounded, vulnerable guy.

Listen, alright, in terms of what happened yesterday between us, that was just… we were on the road. Alright, we talked. That's all. Over.

Of course. Wait. You think something happened between us?

I wouldn't admit it to her, but inside, I think I may have smiled. Yep. The Avenger had something going for him. I sensed it. What's that? Well… yeah, sure, I guess. Go ahead. Why should I do all the talking? Uh, but don't embarrass me, Maria.

We'll see! I just wanted to tell our little muse that there was this whole other conversation that I had with Liz later… about you, Michael.

The thing about Michael, Liz, is that he's weird but surprisingly interesting.

He's interesting?

Not interesting for me, obviously.

Oh, yes, obviously.

I mean, it can never be. There's a number of obstacles: his hair, his personality, the fact that he was hatched.

Um, Okay, I'm ready to tell this story again, Maria. You can stop now.

Not yet, Dear.

Can you please tell me what happened in that motel room?

I told you, Liz, nothing happened.

Are you sure?

Nothing physical, although it wasn't very verbal, either. What Michael and I share… well, it's non-verbal. Michael is the type of person my mom likes to refer to as a vibrator.

A vibrator?

You know what I mean… someone who communicates by, you know, sending vibes out into the atmosphere.

What kind of vibes was he sending you?

Vibes that are, you know…

You see, Michael, you thought you were the only one who noticed. But a girl knows what she feels. We just don't always post it as headlines in the morning newspaper… well, not till we're ready to anyway.

So, then, you agree that we had, like, this thing already going… even back then?

It was going. I wasn't openly admitting it. But I knew that what I was feeling wasn't a fetish for cute, Tabasco-swilling, mixed up alien studs… just one particular lovable one. You can tell your story again now.”

I don't know, Ria… You're doing just fine now. Maybe you should…

No, I'm enjoying listening to you tell it, Michael.

Alright, well, it seems Topolsky got a call from her supervisor, Agent Stevens, of the FBI…

Your assignment… Repeat it to me.

…observe the subjects and determine whether or not the theories about them are substantiated.

You're forgetting something, Agent… the word “covertly.” To “covertly” observe the subjects to determine whether or not the theories about them are substantiated. Covertly!

I've been acting covertly.

Drop-kicking the sheriff? You call that covertly?

The sheriff was endangering my operation.

Your operation!?

Our operation.

Wrong again, Agent. Not your operation. Not our operation. My operation! Mine! I think I have a piece of my bagel permanently lodged in my esophagus. New orders, Agent Topolsky. See if you can follow 'em this time. Whatever those kids took from that house, I want it. Get it. Whatever those kids are doing right now, I want to know about it. Do you understand, Agent Topolsky?

I understand.

By any means necessary, Agent.

Yes, sir.

Don't waste my time, Agent!

I'm all over it.

And she was… And I knew it, though I didn't know about that phone call. Kathleen told us a lot of the little details years later… here on Antar. Anyway, at the time, I knew she was “all over it,” because we couldn't shake her. She always seemed to be in the shadows everywhere we went. And if she wasn't, her agent cronies were. She was like a skunk's scent… obnoxious and unshakable. Uh, no offense, Kath! We weren't exactly on the same team back then like now. What? No, you smell a lot better now. OW! Hehehe. Kidding! Hey, that skunk thing was just a… a… you know… a metaphor. You smell good. Can I live now? Maria, protect me here! I'm your husband! What do you mean, I deserved it!? It was a JOKE. YOU'RE laughing… even Kathleen's laughing… Uh, you're not gonna dump any more of that sand on my head are you, Kathleen? Okay… But it was funny… you've gotta admit. And when you were Agent Topolsky you did give us a lot of headaches… That's all I was saying. We like you now, Kath. But that wasn't always the case. And we really, really didn't need the FBI on our tails day and night, so I went to meet with Sheriff Valenti in his office. He had offered to help us in exchange for a little help from me, and I needed to know all about this Atherton guy, so I asked him to get me information on Atherton… and I asked him to get Agent Topolsky off our tails. Oh, and I asked him how his head was feeling.

“It hurts. She packs a kick like a mule… like to gave me a concussion. I'll see what I can do about your… requests. Give me a little time… an afternoon should do it.”

“Thanks, Sheriff. That information… it's really important to us.”

Valenti knew what he was doing. He went straight to Milton, the UFO Museum guy, and asked him about Atherton. Milton was a walking, talking encyclopedia of everything alien related, and he rattled off everything that was known about James Atherton, including that he disappeared in 1959 and that some thought he had been abducted by aliens. After getting this information -which I learned later Valenti wanted as bad as we did- he set about taking care of the Topolsky problem. But in the meantime, her agents broke into the Evans' house and stole the box of papers I had brought from Atherton's house. It was in Max's room. To make it look like a robbery, they also stole the TV, the VCR, and a bunch of other stuff out of the living room. But Valenti wasn't fooled. He paid a visit to Topolsky at school… without overtly accusing her… to let her know he was onto her. And a day or so later, he pulled her car over as she was trying to follow us…

Did you lose something, Ms. Topolsky?

What about you, sheriff? Do you always chase cars when you're off duty?

Only when they blow through three red lights, two stop signs, and do 70 in a 30-mile-an-hour zone. Ms. Topolsky, you are a walking, talking, moving violation.

I'll take that the best way I can.

Now, I could bring you in, hold you overnight… while I'm at it, do a thorough background check to find out what our new guidance counselor is really up to… or we could just have a nice conversation.

At that point, Topolsky knew she had no choice but to deal, and she and Valenti moved their conversation to a local bar.

How long have you been following me, Sheriff?

A while now.

Observe anything unusual?

Well, besides an FBI agent being assigned to our local high school, yes, I have. That's a hell of a kick you've got going. It about gave me a concussion. It's a good thing I'm not the sensitive type.

Aren't you? It seems to me a man who spends his entire life trying to avenge his father's mistakes could be considered sensitive.

Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about my father's mistakes if I were you, Agent Topolsky. It seems you've made a few of your own.

Such as?

Well, such as letting them slip through your fingers.

Them?

Whoever it is you're after… Such as exposing yourself to the local…

Maybe we're taking the wrong tack here, Sheriff.

It's funny how everybody agrees they've taken the wrong tack when their cover's been blown. Well, anyway, I just thought I'd give you a heads up before I call your superiors and let them know you've been made.

Sheriff, look. If my superiors find out about this, I'm off the case… gone for good, and where does that leave you? Isn't there some other way we can work this out?

Why, whatever could you be thinking, Ms. Topolsky?

I probably have information that you would like to have, and you have information that I might want. Maybe we can work together here.

Let me think about that.

I guess if I had been there and had heard Valenti say he wanted to think about it, I might have drop-kicked him myself. But maybe he was just being smart… trying to get what information he could from her. And he did get her off our tails… as promised… at least for the moment. His continuing allegiances remained to be determined. Fortunately, he made the right choices in the end, and so did she. But back then he was still trying to get whatever he could on us… at the same time as he was trying to help us. It looked a little two-faced, but he was playing all the positions in order to win the game.

I need to back up just a little bit, though, to right after the robbery at the Evans' house. Deputy Owens noticed the necklace Isabel was wearing… the one she took from Atherton's house… and he knew that he had seen the symbol on the necklace before…

Where did you get that?

At the mall. Kind of like the retro look. Why?

I just haven't seen anything like that since I left the reservation.

Well… maybe they're branching out.

Right.

Which reservation?

I grew up on the Mescalero reservation just outside of town.

Later, when I got my first look at the pendant Isabel was wearing, I knew that I had seen the symbol on it somewhere before, too. But not on any reservation… in my mind. I guess I was staring, because Isabel noticed…

What?

I know that. I know that. How do I know that?

Pretty wild, huh? I found it at Atherton's.

This has to mean something.

Max thought it was a symbol from our past. Unfortunately, we had to stay low and under the radar for the moment, because the FBI guys were all over the place. We couldn't just run off to the reservation and check it out. So Liz decided to do it for us. But Max wasn't having any of it…

Max, you saved my life.

What does that have to do with it?

…If anything happened to you… or Michael or Isabel, I just… I couldn't live with that. Let me do this one thing.

Liz, I already told you no.

Max, I didn't come here for permission. I came here for the pendant. If you don't give it to me, I'll just draw it. I'm going.

Score one for the girl! I gotta confess, I never wanted Liz or any of them messing in our lives in the beginning, but I did have to give her her due. I loved Mister “I'm the king, we'll do it my way” getting his tail bobbed. Okay, that's not the way he saw it… or the way Liz meant it… but she did kick ass back there. I almost thought I was seeing Maria. Maria can kick some serious ass. What? No, I'm not going to forget it, don't worry. It's part of why I love you. You got spunk.

So Liz was off to the reservation with the pendant in her hand. And I just had this kind of creepy feeling deep down inside like the Avenger was going to be needed. So I excused myself from the others and followed Liz… covertly. I was right. Before she was even out of Roswell, she had a tail. And not just one tail, either, but three of them. They were trying to stay invisible, but these guys were about as covert as a herpes sore. I didn't want to make any spectacles in Roswell, so I rushed ahead and hid, waiting just far enough out of town so as not to be seen be everyone. Then Liz drove by. Moments later, the first carload of agents appeared… and it's engine shut down mysteriously. Slowly, it coasted to a stop. The other two cars pulled up behind it and rolled down their windows.

“You guys need some help?”

“Forget about us! Stay on the girl! Don't lose her!”

The agent driving the second car tried to pull out again and follow Liz, but his car accelerated suddenly and rammed the car that had broken down. Then it backed up into the third car, leaving that car's hood crumpled and its engine smoking.

“What the hell are you doing, Bartley!? You're putting us all off the chase! Who gave you your license?”

“I don't know what happened. I put it in drive, and it just took off. Then it slipped into reverse. I didn't do it, the car did it!”

“Cars don't drive themselves, Bartley. You screwed up.”

The agent driving the first car huffed. “You guys stop arguing. I think I can fix this one. It‘s probably just a blockage in the fuel line.”

The agent opened the hood and searched for the fuel line. He probably could have fixed it. I hadn't really fried it… yet. I had just made a bubble in the fuel line. But at that moment, a motorbike drove up and this guy who looked like he was in town for the UFO convention or something got off and offered to help.

“Keep going, buddy. We don't need any help.”

“You look like you've got a battery problem. I've got experience with this. I can take care of it for you in no time.”

“Yeah? Well… okay… do it then.”

The agents moved aside, and I reached into the engine, thinking silently… Okay, this is where I put my hand in the Jetta… right… here. Like I said… experience.

Flashes, sulphuric smoke, agents running, coughing… “It's gonna blow!”

I shook my head and acted disappointed. “Aw, damn! Your engine's fried. Where'd you get these clunkers? I never saw a car spew out smoke like that before! It's almost like it's saying, ‘leave me alone!' I hope you've still got the warranties.”

“I told you! I told you!” Agent Bartley shouted, feeling vindicated. “It's the frikkin' cars! They're possessed.”

“Too bad YOU'RE not possessed, Bartley… by intelligence. Shut up.”

The agent looked at me and nodded toward the road. “Get out of here. You didn't see anything. We'll take care of it.”

“Sorry man. I never saw a car do crazy stuff like that before… well, except one. It had to be crushed before it could be stopped. It would start up all by itself. Took its driver on a 200 mile ride at 120 mph. Driver couldn't stop it, couldn't control it. The car was in control all the way. Same kind of car, too.”

“Go! Get out of here!”

“I'm going. I'd get rid of those cars, though, man. They're dangerous.”

I hopped on my bike and drove off. After I was a good ways down the road, I changed my looks and the color and wheels of my bike back and grinned. “That should slow them down pretty good.”



On the Mescalero Reservation, meanwhile, Liz was showing the mysterious pendant to a souvenir shop clerk when out of nowhere, a hand reached out and grabbed her arm, turning her around brusquely. The hand belonged to an elderly Mercalero named River Dog, and his eyes seemed to be burning a hole in the pendant that Liz had been showing the souvenir peddler. But the old Mescalero didn't speak. Instead, after looking at the pendant, he turned and walked away.

Who was that?

Stay away from him, the peddler warned Liz seriously.

But when Liz was about to get back into her car, River Dog showed up again, and he reached for the pendant…

Give me that.

Who are you?

Please! Where did you get this?

We just… found it.

We?

No… uh, I found it.

Who else knows? How many know? Tell me.

No one else knows.

How did you know to come here? Were you followed?

No, I wasn't. I… what does this mean to you? Please tell me.

This is dangerous. It brings death.

That was it. That was the extent of the conversation. To say that River Dog was not exactly a talkative sort would be an understatement. But he did have an air of mystery about him… and a graveness that gave Liz pause.

Back at the CrashDown, later, a young Mescalero named Eddie came in and ordered a redskin basket. Liz caught the meaning in his voice and told him that she had been trying to get that name changed.

I have a message from River Dog. He'll meet you at ten o'clock tonight… Come alone… The reservation… Someone will meet you.

When Liz told us about the appointment, we knew that it was important. But Topolsky and her agents were watching every move we made. So we cooked up a plan to give the agents the slip. Actually, MAX cooked up the plan. I wasn't exactly happy with it, because it used me as bait while Max and Liz got to go see River Dog.

Is he still following us, Michael?

I don't know, Max. I think so.

I can't believe this, Isabel groaned, I… I just wish things would go back to the way they were.

I still think this plan bites.

Michael, the plan does not bite.

I'm being used as a pawn. I want to go meet this River Dog guy.

We dropped Max off at the cinema with Liz and then drove off quickly to make it look like we were trying to lose the agents following us. But we wanted them to follow us. Isabel and I were the bait. Meanwhile, Max and Liz walked through the theater to a pre-arranged place where they were to meet up with Maria. Then they drove away in Maria's car… to see River Dog.

At the reservation, Eddie balked about taking them to River Dog, because River Dog had only asked Liz to come. But Liz convinced him to let Max stay.

There will be a test. If you pass the test, River Dog will answer all your questions.

And here I was… stuck at the CrashDown with Maria and Isabel, listening to Isabel's deepest inner feelings and answering questions for Maria about my DNA… Oh, happy happy joy joy!

Ok, so what's with the Tabasco sauce?

Sweet and spicy, I replied, while munching on a piece of cake I had swiped from the counter.

Sweet and spicy?

We all like things extremely sweet mixed with extremely spicy, Isabel explained, It's our little dietary quirk.

Well, I'll have to, uh, keep that in mind, Maria said with a trace of a smile.

I nodded. You do that.

Are you two flirting? God, could my life get any worse?

I remember thinking, the only consolation about having to wait there for Max and Liz to return was that Isabel was just as miserable as I was. Life was fair after all! But they'd better get back soon!

On the reservation, Max and Liz were being led on an unexpectedly long hike and had begun to wonder if Eddie was really taking them to River Dog… or somewhere else…

Um, Eddie? How much… How much further is it?

It's very close.

But Liz wasn't so sure now. Max, I don't think this is a good idea anymore. We've been walking for too long.

Eddie, uh, where exactly are you taking us?

You're here.

We're where?

Good luck.

No, Eddie… Eddie! You can't… you can't just leave us here. Max?

…Frikkin' Eddie!

That's when Liz noticed the cave. So the two of them went inside to check it out. Then, Liz felt someone grab her in the dark…

What was that? Let me go!

Liz? Liz, where are you? Quickly, Max created some light with his hand to see in the darkness of the cave.

Let her go. Who are you?

You have passed the test.

River Dog knew, when Max created light with his hand, that he was one of the aliens, too. That was the test… to get him to “reveal” himself… or Liz to reveal herself. Up until that moment, actually, he had had no idea which one was the alien, if indeed either one was.

I once knew someone like you. I didn't know where he came from or why he was here. He stayed pretty much to himself. He befriended me and everyone here. He began to trust me.

Do you know where I can find him?

I haven't seen him for forty years. Besides me, the only man he trusted was Atherton. The man gave Atherton his necklace, the one you had.

What happened to him?

Atherton was murdered.

Who killed him?

The man killed him… I was too far away to see what happened, but when I reached them, Atherton was dead.

When was this?

November, 1959… I have one more thing to show you. This way.

River Dog showed Max and Liz a drawing that the alien from 1959 drew on the cave wall.

He said someday you would come.

Max looked at the drawing… It seems familiar, like I know what it means, but I can't remember.

He was afraid they were trying to kill him.

Who was?

I don't know. He felt they were close to finding him, so he had to leave. I promised I would never share this information with anyone unless they passed the test.

Has anyone else come? Has anyone passed?

No, no one.

So this has some type of meaning. It's some kind of message for us. Maybe it's some type of warning. I don't know.

It's time for you to leave.

Can we come again?

I have completed my promise. There's nothing more I can tell you, nothing more you can learn.

And that was it… except for one final warning… not to Max, but to Liz…

Make sure he deserves your trust.

River Dog wasn't sure whom to trust. But he had made a promise, and now he had honored that promise.

At the CrashDown, meanwhile, Maria was getting ever more frazzled waiting for news from Liz and Max…

This is taking too long. They're in trouble… What are we supposed to do?

We wait.

You know, Michael, now I know why Isabel left. You are obviously the last person to be around in a crisis.

We were told to sit here and wait until they come back, alright? And that's what I'm doing. I'm not the one freaking out. You're freaking out.

I am not freaking out. I just… I wish you would say something.

Say what? What do you want me to say?

I don't know what. Just say something, you know, to make me feel calm, to make me feel like it's gonna be alright.

Maybe it's not gonna be alright.

Thanks, that helps a ton.

What do you want me to do?

I don't know… You know, all I ask of you is just to try to make me feel better, you know, be a guy or whatever. Forget it. I have obviously tried to bark up the wrong tree.

Okay, never let it be said that Michael Guerin does not rise to the occasion. Maria wanted me to do something? She asked me to do something? She wanted me to make her forget about her worries? I could do that!

I reached over and kissed her.

That was to calm you down.

Thanks.

Maria reacted stoically to the whole thing… outwardly, at least. And me? I was Stonewall Guerin, totally in control. And who could see what I was thinking, anyway, right? Yessss! Sweet n' spicy! I knew it! I would definitely trade the Tabasco for that condiment! Oh, oh! Core meltdown! Lips of pleasure! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Abandon all preconceptions! Going down! Nuclear heat wave!

In stoic silence, we walked off in opposite directions. Someday I might even admit I liked it… our first kiss.

Codename: TABASCO
(The Awesome Background And Secret Chronicles Of Michael Guerin)

Episode 108

Burning For You (Heat Wave)

December 2nd, 1999. That was the date. Definitely! I remember it like it was yesterday. There was this weird December heat wave. Okay, I admit it. I do have some pretty good reasons to remember it… that was the day Maria and I started to get, uh, close.

Maria was cleaning up downstairs in the CrashDown, and I looked in through the window at her. She was kind of dancing around and sweating from the heat, and that got me feeling the heat, too, you know what I mean? Anyway, Maria opened the door for me and I came in. We started kissing and I guess maybe the windows got a little steamed up. I think Liz was studying upstairs or something. She got thirsty from the heat and came downstairs looking for something to drink, and she hears noises, so she peeks into the restaurant and sees Maria and me on the counter…

What's that, Zorel? I was helping your mama reach some boxes… of cereal… or something. I don't remember. Anyway, as I was saying…

What? Yeah, what else would I be doin' on the counter… with your mama!? Are you gonna listen to the story or sit there grinning and letting your imagination run away? They all know what I was doing… helping your mama reach… something. I don't remember what. Anyway, it was like 90 degrees outside… in the shade, and we were… trying to reach something… whatever… up on the counter.

The next day, at school, Maria and I got together again in the janitor's closet…

We were looking for chalk, Zorel! For Pete's sake, go swimming or something! Yes, on earth they do keep chalk in the janitor's closet… I think.

Where was I? Oh! There was this girl that Kyle had started dating, Vicky Delaney, and she invited Liz to this, uh… party… at the old soap factory. Kyle tried to tell Liz that she shouldn't go, but Liz said she wanted to. Then Liz told Maria about it and Maria told me about it. In the end, even Max was there… and Isabel… and Alex! And that was kind of a miracle itself, because Alex wasn't talking to Liz or Maria after giving his blood and all and then nobody would tell him what was going on. But as I was saying before… There was this weird heat wave, and it seemed like the whole town just got… hot… in more ways than one. Amy was even talking to Sheriff Valenti again. She showed up at school because Topolsky had wanted to talk to her, then Topolsky blew the town after she got outted and Amy was ticked off because she had taken time off to come in and then Topolsky wasn't there. But she found Valenti there and they talked a little and he made this joke about was she stayin' out of the slammer lately…

Oh, very amusing.

Then later, Valenti came into the CrashDown and found Amy there trying to sell Jeff Parker these alien head cocktail stirrers. And they started talkin' again…

Sheriff! Uh…

Hi! I stopped by your shop. They told me you were here.

Oh! Nothing's wrong?

No, nothing's wrong. It's just, uh… Amy, listen, about what happened. It's just, uh… I realize it was a long time ago, and I just want to make sure that you know that… I was just doing my job.

Oh, yeah. Well, I appreciate the sentiment, Sheriff, but it did scar me for life and all, so…

You were breaking the law. You were stopping honest, hard-working people from doing their jobs.

Those honest, hard-working people were destroying a 200-year-old piece of native American architecture… raping our town of its history.

Amy, the native Americans wanted that thing torn down more than anybody.

That's not the point.

Well, it is kind of the point.

There were more than twenty of us out there that day. I was eighteen, naïve, clueless. Why did you pick on me?

‘Cause you were cute.

Cute?

You were wearing cowboy boots and a little skirt. Well, I had to arrest somebody, so…

Well, I don't know what to say. I'm outraged. I am now outraged. You are looking at an outraged woman. Sorry… it must be the heat.

I just, uh… I just wanted to apologize. It's good to see you again, Amy.

Yeah, I know, it wasn't me and Maria, but hey! We're talkin' the sheriff here… Valenti. You have to take everything in perspective. For him, that was ssssizzlin'. Ow! Watch it, Jim! That almost hit me!

There was one place in Roswell, though, where there was no heat wave. In fact, more of a cold front. Alex Whitman. Alex wasn't talking to Liz or Maria, as I said before…

Alex! Alex please wait. Will you just give me a chance?

What, Liz?

Let's just try and talk.

What do you want from me? More blood? A urine sample? How about my kidney?

Then Isabel decided to dream walk him, and she found out that he thought of her as, like, his dream girl or something, so she sweet talked him into goin' to the rave at the soap factory with her… to try to warm him up a little.

Meanwhile, Liz saw Maria in the girl's bathroom wearing a turtleneck sweater.

Maria, it's 105 degrees outside, and you're wearing a turtleneck! …What is going on here? You and Michael. Kyle and Vicky. Ms. Hardy and Mr. Krewlick.

And Max was on my case about being with Maria… But I wasn't backing down this time…

I hate to tell you this, Max, but when I have urges, you're not exactly the first person I think about.

Yeah, I realize that, but the point is, we can't let things spin out of control. I mean, sure, it starts as a kiss…

It's more than that.

How much more?

I don't know, Max. It feels so wrong, but it feels so good.

I set Max up… then Liz gave him the double whammy. Because he was feelin' hot for her, too, but he'd been trying to act cool and all. So Liz hit him with me and Maria…

Max, you know when you said before that we couldn't be together… that we were different? I just sort of accepted it, you know? Because I thought that it was, like, physically impossible… that it… that it couldn't be. But when I saw Maria with Michael… the truth is that… I was hurt, Max. Why is it okay for them, but it's not okay for us?

Yeah, see? Everybody thinks Max and Liz hit it off first, but it was me and Maria… well, except for him saving Liz's life after she got shot. But Maria and I got into the… uh, the heat wave… before they did. I know, Maria and I had our little differences at the time. She wanted us to talk and have this visible relationship, and I wanted… a more private relationship. But we both agreed on one thing… we had the passion… in the janitor's closet, the eraser room, empty class rooms…

Passion… that's a… a classic novel, Zorel. We, uh, we had to read it… together… for an assignment.

So, anyway, moving along here, the rave at the soap factory ended with the sheriff bustin' up the party and arresting some people for trespassing. These two jerks that were workin' the sound system handed Liz and Alex each a bottle of liquor when the sheriff showed up and said here, hold this. So Liz and Alex got busted holdin' a bottle of liquor in their hands before they knew what had happened. That got Alex pretty hot… not in the same way as the rest of us. In jail, he threatened to tell Valenti everything, and Liz knew he was dead serious this time…

…I'm done. I'm done protecting you… or her, or anyone else you're associated with. ‘Cause I'm telling Sheriff Valenti everything… verbatim… about replacing Max's blood at the hospital, discovering Topolsky was FBI… Everything!

No, look, look, Alex… look… listen to me. You had just… you should just know all of the facts before you do something like this.

Well, I thought you said it wasn't your secret to tell.

Alex, the reason that Isabel did whatever it is that she did is not that she's low, she's just… she's scared.

Scared.

Yes.

Scared of what?

She… she's scared of being different.

Oh, come on. Save it.

Alex… Max and Michael and Isabel, they're different from us. They're different from us in a way that, if the wrong people found out, they would be in a lot of trouble.

I know the whole drugs thing is a load of crap, Liz. I mean, why would the FBI be so interested in three kids into drugs?

No, Alex, listen to me. This doesn't have anything to do with drugs. Alex… Max, Michael, and Isabel… they aren't from around here.

Where are they from? …What? Like, Wyoming? …Oh… okay, fine. Canada. They're Canucks. So what… you're saying the FBI is all over them because they're like… illegal aliens?

Yeah, sort of. Listen, Alex… they're from somewhere else.

Liz, what are you talking about?

God, there isn't any way for me to say this, but to just… but to just say this, okay? Look, Alex… they think they were in the 1947 crash. Okay, they were like in these incubation pods for a really long time… like forty years, and they came out in, like, the form of humans… and now all of these people suspect them. That's why Topolsky's here… and that's why Valenti arrested us… and that's why we're here… because he knows that I'm involved. I'm really sorry, Alex, but… you're involved, too.

Liz, are you okay?

Alex… you don't even understand. The past few months have been like absolute torture lying to you. I will never, ever, lie to you again, I promise.

Fortunately, by the time Valenti came to get Alex to interrogate him, Liz had convinced him of her sincerity… if not that we were aliens…

Whitman! Sleep all right? What say we go down to my office?

No… Right here. I'm ready to talk.

Alright. I want to know what your involvement is with Liz, Max, Michael, and Isabel. And I want to know what happened with Ms. Topolsky.

I'm ready to talk about the fact that I'm a kid. I'm sixteen years old. I'm a sophomore in high school, so what could I possibly have to do with a teacher leaving? What does any of this have to do with you, anyway?

I'm just doing my job, son.

I was at a party! And my only wish was that, while I was there, I engaged in some sort of depraved activity, like drinking or sex, but I didn't. I didn't break any laws.

Everybody who was at that party was trespassing on private property, and both of you were minors in possession of alcohol.

This has nothing to do with that party, does it? Sheriff, I want out of here… right now. I demand it, or I'm going to get a lawyer and I'm going to sue for abusive treatment of a minor. I may be sixteen, but I know my rights.

Alex did it. He got them released. Valenti knew he wasn't going to get anything. He'd have to wait for me to tell him the whole story… if I ever did.

Alex, you were amazing.

Well, yeah… Yeah, I was, Liz.

Uh, so… um, how do you feel? You know, about what I said?

Well, part of me, uh… part of me feels like you've gone insane, and the other part of me feels like I want some of the massive doses of hallucinogens you've obviously been taking. But I don't believe in aliens.

Neither did I… You don't believe me, do you?

I believe that you believe. Leave it at that.

Okay.

Get home safe.

You, too.

See you at school.

And you know what? I was a good influence on Max! Because he went over to see Liz, and they finally got it on… the passion bit… even though the heat wave was over. Well, not the whole heat wave. Just the weather one. All those little fires that got ignited just kept growing… Maria and me… Max and Liz… Isabel and Alex… Kyle… um, well, not all of us maybe. Vicky Delaney didn't last. But chalk one up for the aliens… and especially for the Avenger and his girl. We were the first!



Huh? Yeah, Zorel, I think Max and Liz did finally read the whole book.

Codename: TABASCO
(The Awesome Background And Secret Chronicles Of Michael Guerin)

Episode 110

Feeling The Heat (Toy House)

After my experience with the balance, I knew, somewhere deep down inside, that Maria and I were meant to be together. I had seen it… and felt it. But that didn't make things instantly change. First off, Maria was acting very cool toward me, and I found out it was because I hugged Max and Isabel after coming out of the trance or whatever it was and didn't hug her. She felt shunned… She said I acted like it was all an “alien” thing, just between the three of us. Actually, it kind of was an alien thing. Max and Isabel and I share a similar biology, so it was something that kind of affected the three of us… or could have. But I understood Maria's feelings. I never intended to shun her. So I decided to try to make it up to her…

Maria had this woodshop project to do for school, and she was trying to make a napkin holder… only I thought it was a shoe tree. Maria's good at a lot of things that I can think of, but none of them involve wood… uh… real… uh, you know, the stuff you get from trees… What? I am not blushing, Maria! I don't blush! It's the angle of the sun. Maybe I'm getting a little burned. I'll turn the other way. No, it was not my imagination, I saw the way you smiled. Yes, you did! It wasn't just a smile, it was one of “those” smiles. That's why I… Never mind. Let's move on. Does anyone else think it's getting a little warm out here?

Where was I? Oh yeah, the wood-working project…

I was trying to compliment Maria for making this great shoe tree, only it was supposed to be a napkin holder, so I tried to help her with it, but it kind of got broken. I really wanted to do this for her, so I built her another one myself and put it in her locker… with a note that said “Handmade by Michael – Thanks.” It was beautiful… It was spring loaded… It redefined the term ‘napkin holder.' It would have got her an A on the project. But you know what she did? She turned in her original one and got an F. I was floored. But what floored me even more was why she did it…

…I, um, I… I didn't use yours. I kept it. Thank you.

She took an F so she could keep the one I made for her. That just totally blew me away. I couldn't believe she did that.

I got something to say to you… If anything like that happens to me again, like when I got sick, don't help me. I can't get indebted to anyone, and I can't get entangled. I got to be a stone wall. And when I'm around you… sometimes I don't feel like a stone wall anymore.

Well, what do you feel like?

I don't know. Like confused.

It left me not knowing what to say, which isn't normal for me. But the thing is, see, then I knew that Maria still liked me. That was pretty cool… especially since I was feeling kind of down after the balance thing. I had become accustomed to thinking of myself as this powerful avenger-type guy, and then the balance knocked me right off my feet. I needed to get my confidence back. Realizing that Maria still liked me was what it took!

Around the same time as this was happening to me, Max had a problem pop up that had the potential to affect us all as much as my experience with the balance did. He was talking to his mom in the kitchen when she spilled some oil. It touched the burner and went up in flames, along with the oil in the skillet. Max yelled, and his mom dropped to the floor, then Max used his powers to put the fire out. He told her that he had poured a pot of water on it, and she believed it.

You saved my life, Max.

Mom, I… I just…

Poured water on it… You told me.

Right.

She believed it… but Valenti didn't. See, the fire set off the alarm, and the fire department came. That gave Sheriff Valenti an excuse to drop in, too, and do some snooping on Max. Of course, Valenti said he was just making sure everyone was okay. But he was always snooping on Max. When I told him that stuff about me before, I intentionally left Max and Isabel out of the conversation. But he suspected them, too… and he wanted to know everything there was to know… about all three of us. At least there was one bright spot, though. He wasn't leaning on us and threatening to arrest us all the time anymore like he used to do before I made my deal with him. But he still used every excuse he could to try to get more information… on the sly. So it was no surprise, really, that he showed up.

Heard you had an incident here. Just want to make sure everything's okay.

Oh, we're fine… really. Just a little grease fire, but thank God my son put it out… He just came right in, pulled me out of the way, poured this pot of water on it, and suddenly everything was okay. It was miraculous, really.

Miraculous…

The sheriff thanked Mrs. Evans and left, but he came back later with a brochure on household emergencies. He had highlighted the section on grease fires to make sure she read it. In the brochure, it said that water won't put out a grease fire, it only spreads it. He also told her that Max was involved in some way in the shooting that went down in the CrashDown, and that according to some witnesses, Liz actually got shot and Max healed her. That made Max's mom start wondering about a lot of things, and when she was alone, she pulled out some old videos. One of them showed Max picking up a bird that appeared to have a broken wing and then releasing it. When he did, it flew away. She had always wondered about that but had written it off as coincidence or something, but now Valenti had placed a real seed of doubt in her mind, and she was starting to question everything. And that was driving a wedge between her and Max. She even quizzed Isabel about him…

Have you ever noticed anything about your brother? Anything… unusual?

Like what?

Well… I don't know. Anything that… maybe you were unable to explain.

Mom, what's this about?

Oh, forget it. Never mind. I guess I'm… I'm just a bit shaken still from the fire.

But that wasn't true. She had more questions for Max…

Mom, why are you doing this to me?

I'm not doing anything to you.

…You're supposed to be my mother. You're not supposed to investigate us.

I remember meeting with Isabel and Max in the quarry to talk about what was happening, and I was upset that Max had healed a bird and given himself away like that. I think I may have accused him of trying to be Doctor Doolittle. But he pointed out that he was only six years old at the time and didn't even know he had powers. He just did it somehow.

Isabel had always hated keeping secrets from her mom, and she wanted to just come out and tell her everything about us. That's when I decided I had to intervene… well, not me maybe… the Avenger. Somebody had to do it. But first, I had another situation to fix…



Outside Maria's house, I waited just out of view until her mom left. She had a box under her arms… probably more blow up alien balloons for the gas station to sell to tourists or something. As soon as the Jetta was out of sight, I tossed a small pebble at Maria's window, and a moment later, she opened the window and looked out…

“Michael?”

“Hey! I thought I'd come over and, uh… you know… uh… maybe… apologize… I guess… or something.”

Maria smiled, then she stuck her head out the window and looked toward the road. Her mom's Jetta was gone.

“Alright… but you can't stay too long. Mom will be back in an hour.”

I climbed through Maria's window and sat down on the chair in front of her computer desk, and Maria looked at me questioningly…

“So…?”

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, uh, look… uh, what I wanted to say, Maria, is that… maybe, you know… maybe I… I should have shown you that I appreciated you more than I did… and, uh… well… I was wrong to… to say what I said about not wanting your help ever again. Even an ali… uh, a person like… me… can't always be a stone wall. What I'm saying is I don't want to be a stone wall when I'm with you, Maria. A stone wall can't feel the things I feel when I'm with you… And there's one more thing…”

“What's that?”

“Something I owe you… that I was supposed to give you and kind of… forgot.”

Maria looked puzzled. I got up and walked over to her and put my arms around her. Then I hugged her. I heard her breathe in deeply then let it all out as her arms encircled me and her lips met mine. And I knew I had done the right thing… because I felt good all over.

About five minutes later… maybe it was ten or twenty… I kind of lost track of time while we were kissing… we looked at each other again, and Maria smiled. I smiled back, and she took her arms back from around me and turned around to get something…

“You made that great napkin holder for me, Michael… I wanted to make something for you. Here.”

“What is it?”

“Open the bag and find out.”

I opened the bag and removed something that looked like pajamas… Maria's pajamas. But they had been… well, I don't know how to describe it. She had dyed them electric blue and had sewn a gold-colored zigzag lightning stripe down the side of each leg. She had dyed the top fire-red and had sewn something on the back that looked like a… I can't even say it… Yeah, that's it… what Maria just said… a cape. A blue cape! On the front of the pajama top, she had sewn a gold letter “A,” for “Avenger.” To say I was in shock might have been an understatement…

“Uh, uh! No! I am not wearing this! No way, no how! Not happening!”

Maria started to look hurt again, and I suddenly saw everything about to crash right into the basement, so I swallowed hard and looked at it again…

“It's… it's nice… But I wouldn't need to wear it all the time, you know. Even Superman looks like Clark Kent most of the time. He wouldn't go to school in… uniform.”

“Well, of course not! I don't expect you to wear it to school and everywhere, Michael! I just thought if you had, you know, any more Avenger-type problems to solve… maybe…”

Well, I knew of one problem I had to solve… how to keep from having to wear this and not lose Maria forever, but I couldn't say that…

“Maybe… maybe I could wear it once… and we'll see what happens. I've got someone I have to talk to right now, and it's sort of an Avenger matter.”

Maria's eyes lit up, and I knew I was in real trouble.



I would have walked in the front door like any normal person, but wearing Maria's pajamas I wasn't exactly feeling “normal.” The last thing I wanted was to have to explain this to Hansen and a bunch of curious deputies. Valenti was drinking a cup of coffee when I climbed in through his window, which was unfortunate, because it took him ten minutes to get all the grounds out of his nose… after he sprayed the rest of it all over his office.

“I have really got to get… a new filter… for that pot! God, that coffee is strong!” he said, blowing his nose again and mopping some more grounds up as they came out. “Michael… what the hell is that?!”

“Don't start! It was kind of a gift, and you'd better just say you like it. I could blast you through that wall, you know.”

Valenti snickered and lifted my arm up, sniffing the material.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking for traces… of cedar oil… or cypress oil.”

“Leave her out of this.”

“Oh, I'm not going to arrest her, Michael… though that outfit might be some kind of crime… if I can find out what statute it breaks.”

“Very funny! Remind me to laugh… when you're hanging from the arm of a light pole.”

“You wouldn't do that.”

“Don't be so sure.”

Valenti grinned. “At least they're not tights… more like… a nifty harem outfit. What's the “A” for?”

“Avenger.”

Valenti nodded, picking up the rag again and wiping off a few more coffee grounds, which continued to work their way out of his nose.

“This coffee could be declared a deadly weapon… when inhaled. I really need to get Hansen to buy us a new pot.”

“You could clean this one out.”

“What for? Heat kills germs. Hell, this coffee kills germs!”

“Maybe it would taste better when it comes out your nose, though.”

“Good point. So, Michael… why are you here? Did you hope to kill me with my own coffee?”

“No, that was just a lucky bonus.”

“Plotting to kill the sheriff. I could lock you up for life.”

“You could… after they got you down off the lamp post.”

“You know, Michael… I understand you. I do. That's what you don't know about me. And it's a good thing I do, because anyone else wouldn't be so easy to deal with.”

“I'm just lucky.”

“Yeah, you are. You joke about it, but you really are.”

“How do you figure?”

“Well, you and I, we have a similar past…”

“Which planet did you come from?”

“I don't mean like that. I mean… we both grew up challenged… challenged to become something that… we didn't become easily… and to do it without a great amount of help. And because of that, we grew up a little rough around the edges. We understand each other. Well, I understand you anyway.”

“I understand you, Sheriff. That's why you're the only person… almost… who knows what you do about me. I know that you're driven to find out everything you can, but I also know that you, more than almost anyone in Roswell, will keep those secrets… because if you betrayed us… betrayed me… you would be betraying yourself now. That's why I told you what I told you. It's why I made the agreement with you.”

“Maybe you do know me better than I thought, Michael. I'm not sure how I feel about that… especially with you standing there in harem jammies.”

“Well, I'm starting to like them.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. They annoy you. They're also comfortable, in a weird sort of way.”

“They… distract me. They don't annoy me. Getting back to my question, Michael, why are you here… and dressed like that?”

“I came to ask you to lay off of Max, Sheriff.”

“Why? Is he one of you?”

“Yeah. One of my friends… one of my BEST friends. And I don't like what's happening to him. You're driving a wedge between him and his mom. Max is talking about leaving town because his mom is suspicious of him and asking a lot of questions that he can't answer. And you know why, Sheriff? Because he doesn't have the answers. He was abandoned when he was little… him and Isabel both. But they grew up and became something in spite of their early life. Can you see why I feel a kinship with them? Like me, they don't know who their real parents were… only mine are on some other planet. It takes a lot to overcome some kinds of scars, Sheriff. And in Max's case, you're adding to them by making his mom suspicious of him.”

“Listen, Michael… it's not my intention to drive a wedge between Mrs. Evans and her son. It's just… good police work. Divide and conquer… It's… well, it's… yeah, I guess I see what you're saying. I didn't think about it like that. What can I do?”

“Don't put any more ideas in his mom's head.”

Valenti nodded pensively. “I'll, uh, I'll try to take your advice, Michael. I will.”

“Thank you, Sheriff. And regarding your other question…”

“What was my other question? I forgot now.”

“Why I came dressed like this.”

“Oh, yes! Now I remember! Well…?”

“I thought you might need some help on one of your cases… so I came dressed for the job.”

Valenti smiled. “I could use some help… but God help me if anyone associated you with me… dressed like that. Could you put something else on?”

“You won't tell… anyone… on me?”

“No. Maria will never know.”

That's when I had this pang like I'd never had before. It was something I had said to the sheriff earlier… about why he couldn't betray me now because he would be betraying himself, too. And there was something else… I took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling for a moment…

“I'm sorry, Sheriff. There's someone who means more to me than my self-respect… apparently. I have to wear this. But, hey, it's not so bad. It's comfortable… and it's not tights, right? Besides, someone took an “F” on a project because something that I gave her meant more to her than a grade. She means that much to me. The PJ's stay.

Valenti shook his head and grinned. “Michael, if I ever have another son… I would be proud if he were a lot like you. Come on… I'll show you some cases I'm working on. Lock the door. We wouldn't want Hansen walking in on us. He might get the wrong idea.”