LMAO! Stalker! You talking about this guy-
Or in the story itself?

You know I when I was writing that last part last night, and the part about her lips on the drink and then the biting of the lip in hestitation I kept hearing you in the back of my mind-- "Evans... careful now" I was like she's gonna kill me... and I didn't even fully describe it either.

And behr yourself for the unisex stalls coming along soon...

Why? Are you mad at me?

~

"No, it's not. Coke-a-Cola is the real thing. Pepsi is just a knockoff. Actually, I really perfer tabasco sauce mixed in with the coke. Keeps me in balance, you know? So.. got any chocolate in the bag? "

She looks over at me all crazed by this and I can't help but to want to burst out laughing. Then she asks about where we are going and I reply,

"Not sure exactly. Have something in mind?"

"Yeah. I told you. It keeps me in balance... Walmart?! Why? It's one o'clock in the morning... what could you possibly need at this hour? Do I even want to know?"

I look at her a little frightened at what was to come...

OMG. Rolling on the floor LAUGHING my fucking ass off!
Maria-- you so rock!

Post coming tomorrow!

"You want to go shopping at this time of night? Are you out of your mind?"

I ask her. I mean she must be joking. It's one a.m.. Can't this stuff wait till tomorrow? Apparently not as she sends me a death glare and screams to pull off the exit because she saw a sign. Great. Off we go. To Walmart. To get cash at 1am so she can go shopping.

As I pull into the empty parking lot at Walmart I begin to laugh.

"Closed. See? Everyone sleeps at this hour you know..."

She's not listening. Instead she has said *Come on* as she jumps out of the car and starts walking to the enterance. I sit there for a second watching this highly delusional female. What was she planning on doing? Breaking in? Oh God.. she was.

I jumped out of the Jeep and ran to catch up with her.

"Maria... come on... you can't just break into places."

She looks back at me with pleading eyes and I stand firm.

"No way."

She whispers something about looking around me, that everything was closed. About needing to use the ladies room. About this and that.. now she's babbling incoherently.

I'm not sure what to say as I stand there taking it all in. And then out of nowhere she slaps me. As she asks, *MAX?! Hello...*

She's getting angry as she begins to jump up and down insisting on needing to *goooo*.

Sighing, I find she is right..somehow... And now I've been sucked into breaking in for her. Defeated, I walk over to the door and wave my hand opening the door and disabling the alarm.

She flashes that huge smile, the one that says you're the sucker. I turn around and wave my hand to lock the entrance behind us.

As I enter the store the lights are on a dimer. It's not bright like usual, but not dark either. I can see Maria rushing off to the back of the store saying something about being right back. Yeah. Sure. This was going to be an interesting night.

I think I've completely lost it. What am I doing? Making Max break into Walmart? But I have to pee.

Maria is getting a total kick out of this - she and Max Evans have just broken into Walmart. It's great.

She walks out of the stall, and washes her hands. After drying her hands off with a few paper towels, she slowly creeps out of the bathroom and closes the door softly. Walking back towards where she left Max, she stops halfway to find him looking at jewelry.

"Hey. While we're here... let's look around. You're already shopping, so my turn."

And she takes off down the bath and body aisle behind him before Max can react.

Body oil... honey-butter... if Michael were here, he could... remind me that we're broken up. I should get it anyway...then he wouldn't be able to resist. Oooh, I like that idea.

"Hey, Max," she speaks just above a whisper, loud enough so he can hear her. "What if I just picked out some stuff and left the cash on one of the counters with a thank-you note? You think?"

Maria decides to explore. She discovers a flight of stairs, and runs up them rapidly, slowly creeping into what looks like a small office for employees. Noticing the loud-speaker, Maria eases into a chair and props her feet up on the desk.

Hmm. This could be fun.

She then carefully presses the "on" button.

"Attention Wal-mart shoppers, this is Maria DeLuca broadcasting live from a very comfy chair, here to inform you of a very special sale we're having. There is a lovesick, charming young teenage boy on the loose, and you can have him for just $2.95."

(I had this really cool part a few minutes ago, but the damn thing froze and so I had to start all over again - it's pretty much the same thing, but I swear it was better the first time. Sorry )

Well, damn, I didn't know Wal-mart carried vodka but I sure want some!

**********************

"So, you see, then he tells me he loves me too much, so we have to break up. I mean... since when does he get to decide everything in this relationship?"

Maria has been babbling over Michael for the past twenty minutes. She then starts singing softly, as though on reflex.

" ... I love you more when you are doing something wrong... but that's what's wrong with me..."

She then hears Max's voice suddenly, and nearly falls off the chair.

"Max! What are you... singing? Me? No... maybe. Are you drunk?! - Is there any left?!"

I know, I know. I'm so sorry. Holidays are just so brutal to me.

So, I'll post a bunch this week promise!

No way in hell. I'm actually planning on getting on late tonight to do a Kyle post on the other RPG and a Max one here. Everything else will come second to that!