Episode 508 - Text, Lies and Videotape

[Scene: outside in Boston. Jen and Dawson are sitting on a bench drinking coffee and talking to one another.]

Jen: Fifteen more minutes

Dawson: Yep. You don't have to stay with me if you don't want to.

Jen: Hmm, you're not thinking about chickening out again are you?

Dawson: I don't…No, I'm not thinking about chickening out. I might ditch, but that's something different. Entirely.

Jen: You know, it's not really so bad.

Dawson: Therapy?

Jen: Yeah.

Dawson: So. I just talk right? I go into a, total stranger's office. I tell them my deepest fears and it is supposed to solve something?

Jen: No, not necessarily. Freud was actually considered himself quite lucks if he could manage to convert hysterical misery into common everyday unhappiness.

Dawson: So, the goal here is unhappiness?

Jen: Exactly.

Dawson: Great.

Jen: Ahh. What did he know anyway? All that crap about penis envy and over emphasis on libido.

Dawson: (Laughs) I love college Jen. I feel like I'm in a French movie.

Jen: (Laughs) Really, it's not so bad, trust me. 90% of people on this earth can benefit from a little honest to goodness time on the couch.

Dawson: You actually laid on a couch?

Jen: Once, but it was not very comfortable. The whole Tom Frost office, very stark, very Danish. However, I predict that this Rachel Weir of yours will probably be much warmer. I'm sure she's … Like a spider plant in the window kind of chick.

Dawson: You never felt ridiculous…blathering on about your problems to a total stranger?

Jen: No more ridiculous than I feel about blathering on to no one on the radio.

Dawson: Hey. It's not true. I listen.

Jen: You and grams.

Dawson: Thank you for doing this with me.

Jen: Any time.

[Scene: Joey's dorm room. Joey is sitting on her bed which is covered with papers, when Audrey comes into the room holding a video camera.]

[Door opens]

Boy: Ok, so just—

Audrey: I got it. Love ya. Mean it. Really. Seriously.

Boy: Uh, Audrey, call me if you need me.

Audrey: How come your film geek looks like tom cruise and the one who worships me looks like the kid who doesn't want to go to the dance in sixteen candles?

Joey: You know, you should be nicer to George. I'm sure he's going to be very famous some day.

Audrey: Whatever. All I know is that I practically had to sleep with him to get him to loan me his digital video camera.

Joey: What do you need that for, anyway?

Audrey: My audition tape. Real world, Ibiza, here I come.

Joey: You're kidding me.

Audrey: No. And it's not that I wouldn't miss you, Jo, it's just, who wouldn't rather winter in Spain? Ok. I'm having problems with the tone of the tape, though. Do I go for vamp, vixen, or all-out slut?

Joey: Well, just as long as you're planning on representing all the colors of the rainbow.

Audrey: What is all this stuff, anyway?

Joey: I'm trying to get up to speed for this Rose Lazare project. We're having another meeting tonight.

Audrey: Oh, shouldn't you be getting ready?

Joey: I'm trying, but these books—I mean, you practically need footnotes for the footnotes.

Audrey: Not that, you fool! Wardrobe!

Joey: Audrey, I really don't think anyone's gonna be noticing what I'm wearing.

Audrey: Ok, and where would Madonna be if she had that attitude?

Joey: I'm serious here. You have no idea what these meetings are like. I mean, everyone else is, like, a junior or senior. They're dropping names so fast and furiously they're practically leaving dents in the carpet. And then wilder will throw in these little off-the-cuff explanations obviously intended for me. I mean, the guy knows I'm an idiot. Why would he even bother picking me for something like this?

Audrey: Please. Because you're hot, and he's a teacher. And don't tell me you didn't consider that a possibility. I mean, would it be so awful if some incredibly gorgeous guy found you attractive?

Joey: Well, has it ever occurred to you that the goal of the college experience is not to be reduced to a piece of meat?

Audrey: Oh, so you'd rather be a brain in a jar?

Joey: Well, then I wouldn't have to worry about what I'm wearing.

Audrey: Definitely this.

[Scene: The restaurant. Pacey is trying to cook something while Brecher watches him work]

Pacey: So, how many people are actually coming to this anniversary thing?

Brecher: Maybe 300, almost all of whom will be eating your mushroom-duck crepes, which you have approximately 39 hours left to perfect.

Pacey: And these are friends.

Brecher: Friends...backers, patrons, reviewers, who are all happy to keep being our friends so long as they're kept happy.

[Karen comes in]

Karen: Rob called.

Brecher: And what did young rob have to say for himself?

Karen: He called to confirm the white asparagus should be here tomorrow morning.

[Brecher takes the food off the plate and puts it back in Pacey's pan]

Brecher: This is too early. Look, you've gotta wait for the sauce to caramelize. Try it again.

Karen: He also said congratulations.

Brecher: That means a lot. Especially considering that last year he demanded cash for every delivery and kept sending us the wilted lettuce.

Karen: I know. And you slept here every night to wait for the deliveries.

Brecher: Well, I had to be there in enough time so that they could unpack the stuff and then repack it again.

Karen: Rob hated you for that.

Brecher: He did. However, he started sending us the fresh stuff.

Pacey: So, you were actually the second chef here.

Brecher: Yep. They hired me after the first one's coke habit became a bit too habitual.

Pacey: And you really used to live here?

Brecher: For months at a time.

Pacey: That has got to be hell on a marriage. Hey, speaking of, is Emily gonna be here tomorrow?

Brecher: No. She can't make it.

[Scene: Rachel's office. Dawson is sitting in a chair across from Rachel, to begin therapy.]

Rachel: Something funny?

Dawson: No, I--it's a long story.

Rachel: Longer than 50 minutes?

Dawson: No, it's just, my friend Jen and I were trying to guess what you'd be like, and she...

Rachel: right. Right. I used to have plastic ones, but I got rid of 'em. Makes the patients nervous. No one wants a therapist that can't even keep a plant alive.

Dawson: Right.

Rachel: So, what else did you expect?

Dawson: I don't know. What anybody expects.

Rachel: Robin Williams in good will hunting? Or Judd Hirsch in a big sweater?

Dawson: Do you want to, like, start over or something? I want to do this right.

Rachel: You are doing it right.

Dawson: So, uh, I guess you know why I'm here.

Rachel: I would kinda like to hear that from you, if I could.

Dawson: I've been having these attacks.

Rachel: Panic attacks?

Dawson: Yeah. And I know they're my way of dealing with my father's death.

Rachel: And you're sure about that?

Dawson: Well, I mean, nothing else is really all that different in my life right now.

Rachel: Nothing else?

Dawson: I guess that's not really true, is it?

Rachel: Did it feel true?

Dawson: Well, 6 months ago, this is not what I thought I'd be doing with my life.

Rachel: What are you doing?

Dawson: Nothing. I mean, I'm helping my mom, I guess.

Rachel: And you're not in school?

Dawson: No. I was...at USC.

Rachel: That's a good school. It's far away.

Dawson: Yeah. I'm thinking about going back. I mean, not now. Not recently. I mean, my mom still needs me. I've got a baby sister who's not even one.

Rachel: But next semester, maybe?

Dawson: Yeah, I've been-- I've been meaning to-- to call them and find out about that.

Rachel: Is this something that you want to do?

Dawson: I don't know. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. I don't--I don't really do anything. I think I'm frozen between the past and the future. I mean, there's no reason I couldn't go back.

Rachel: Except for the panic attacks... and your mom, who obviously needs you, and your baby sister.

Dawson: Right. I guess-- I guess that wasn't all that true either, was it?

Rachel: Well, the brain works in mysterious ways.

Dawson: So, am I just lying to myself?

Rachel: Dawson, losing someone you love-- losing them suddenly, with no logical explanation-- the brain isn't set up to cope with something like that. And along the way, a few lies here and there... it's probably par for the course. The only problem is when you start convincing yourself that the lies are true.

[Scene: At the book meeting. Joey, Wilder and several other students are sitting around talking about some of the papers strewn about.]

Alan: If you ask me, I think this whole thing must be evidence of some big lesbian affair. That's why the husband never showed anybody these letters during her lifetime.

Cassandra: And it would explain all the references to Sappho.

Wilder: You know, Alan, just because a teenage girl happens to appreciate the lyric poetry of the ancient world's most famous lesbian, doesn't necessarily mean she wants to sleep with other teenage girls.

Cassandra: Yeah, but Rose did. As literary sluts go, she was right up there with Edna St. Vincent Millay and Anais Nin.

Wilder: Ok, before Cassandra drops anymore names on us, uh, Joey, any thoughts on what makes these particular Rose Lazare letters so different from the hundreds of others we've been sloughing through?

Joey: Uh... well, for starters, they're interesting. And this may sound like a stupid question, but who's I.V.?

Wilder: That is a far from stupid question. In fact, that is the question. I.V. "I" period, "v" period. The person to whom all these letters are written could be anybody. She never uses a full name? Not within the letters themselves.

Alan: What about the envelopes?

Wilder: She could have destroyed them, thinking that the letters were still inside, or they all possibly may be in a shoebox stuffed under a bed in new jersey.

Cassandra: So, essentially, what you're saying is we have absolutely no idea who these letters were written to.

Wilder: None. All that we know are that these are the most intimate, most revealing letters of her career. For the first time in these letters, we catch a glimpse of somebody who is real. Somebody who doubts them self. Somebody who is not afraid of looking stupid while asking essential questions about life. And Rose obviously wrote them to somebody that she cared a lot about. Other than that, we know nothing. So, it's a mystery.

Cassandra: Cool. Like Derrida's post card for real. Don't you think, Joey?

Joey: Um, I probably would if I had any idea who you were talking about.

Wilder: Ok. I think that's a good note to end on. Um, so next time, I want you all to have ideas on who this mystery person could be. Many, many ideas. Till then.

[Scene: The restaurant. Pacey is working when Karen comes in to talk to him]

Karen: So, you got a date for Wednesday?

Pacey: Nope.

Karen: What happened to that blond girl I used to see you with? Melissa?

Pacey: Melanie.

Karen: Right.

Pacey: She's a law student. That tends to take up a lot of your time.

Karen: That's too bad. You with a law student. Probably could have come in handy some day. So, listen, you want me to set you up with one of my friends?

Pacey: No.

Karen: Why not? I've got some hot friends.

Pacey: I said no, ok?

Karen: Hey, what have you done with Pacey? He used to be such a lovable galumph.

Pacey: Well, he's a little fed up right now.

Karen: Yeah, about what?

Pacey: Believe me, you don't want to know.

Karen: Maybe I do.

Pacey: Ok. You know that boyfriend of yours? The one I've been hearing so much about? He wouldn't by any chance be coming tomorrow night, would he?

Karen: No, not exactly.

Pacey: You see, now here it's been months, and I've never actually seen the guy. How is that possible?

Karen: Well, it's like I said, he's got a really crazy schedule.

Pacey: Hmm. And when he's not standing you up, does he ever take you anyplace special? I don't know, maybe Boston harbor, a gigantic sailboat?

Karen: So, what? He told you?

Pacey: No, he didn't tell me. It's my boat. All this time you've been complaining to me about your boyfriend, and here I've been stupid enough to actually have sympathy for you.

Karen: I never asked you to have sympathy for me.

Pacey: You didn't ask me to have sympathy, and believe me, I've been trying not to.

Karen: So, what, you're just gonna lay your little guilt trip on me now? You don't know anything about my life, Pacey.

Pacey: What I know is that this relationship is going to bring you nothing but grief. And I also know that I had to look his wife in the eyes and lie for you. Believe me, that was not too enjoyable.

Karen: Yeah. Well, you know, in the real world, sometimes people actually have to do things that are not so enjoyable and accept things that are a little less than perfect, and compromise for reasons that sometimes people are too immature to comprehend. In which case, they should just stay the hell out of it.

[Scene: Outside Dawson's house. Dawson and Gale are walking together in the back yard talking.]

Gale: So, uh, how was your therapy?

Dawson: It was fine.

Gale: Did she have an opinion about USC?

Dawson: Not really.

Gale: Well, you know, Dawson, eventually things are gonna have to start getting back to normal around here.

Dawson: Were things ever normal around here?

[Their attorney pulls up.]

Gale: Ah. Here we go.

[They all go and sit down on the porch.]

Attorney: This last item is the living trust. As you know, the trust provides money for health care, educational assistance, financial support. You and Dawson are the listed recipients.

Dawson: But not lily?

Gale: To my knowledge, Mitch never filed a codicil including her in the trust, which means that technically she won't have access to it, which isn't necessarily a concern right now. There are ways that we can work around that, perfectly legal ways.

Dawson: But that's not ideal?

Attorney: No. I would take a look around for it. I mean, you never know where these things can turn up. A folder, an envelope, the back of a drawer.

Gale: Well, we'll certainly look for it. And thank you.

Attorney: Well, good luck. Thanks.

[Scene: Outside the school. Joey and Wilder are walking down the sidewalk talking about the project.]

Wilder: So, I take it you've been finding our little Rose Lazare project somewhat snooze-inducing.

Joey: Well, I wouldn't go that far.

Wilder: But you have implied that most of Rose's letters were uninteresting.

Joey: Well, it's just that, you know, up until this point they've all been so stiff and formal, as if she's writing to someone who's grading her or something.

Wilder: People can't be at ease with other people who are giving them grades?

Joey: No. Or at least they shouldn't be.

Wilder: Good point. So, you don't think she could have written them to a teacher, say, or a mentor. Keep in mind that she was quite young when she wrote these. Around 18 or 19, I think.

Joey: I don't know. I think they were written to a friend.

Wilder: Interesting. So you're not buying Cassandra's torrid lesbian love affair theory?

Joey: Oh, I don't know. It's just that if they were love letters, wouldn't she be—

Wilder: what, be more obvious about it? Not if she was writing to another woman back in the twenties.

Joey: No, that's not what I meant. I mean, if they were love letters, wouldn't she be less honest?

Wilder: There's a paradox in there somewhere.

Joey: I read all of them last night, and Rose totally pours her heart out into these letters. And who is that honest with someone they're sexually attracted to? People can be friends, right, best friends, but the second sexual attraction comes into it, it's like all bets are off as far as honesty is concerned.

Wilder: So, you don't think people can be both friends and lovers?

Joey: I do. I hope I do, but... not at 18.

Wilder: Well, then I think you better concentrate on this friend angle.

Joey: You know, I would, but to be honest, I don't have the same background as everybody else. I don't even know where to start.

Wilder: Sure you do. Where do most people make their most lasting friendships? And don't say high school.

Joey: College.

Wilder: Exactly. And which progressive, if overpriced, liberal arts college did Rose Lazare happen to go to?

Joey: This one.

Wilder: Which means her friends...

Joey: Probably went her, too. Why are you helping me?

Wilder: Let's just say I like underdogs.

[Scene: Dawson's house. Dawson is going through every bit of paper he can find in the house when his mother comes down stairs.]

Gale: Honey?

Dawson: You don't think it could be at the restaurant, do you? Like, in a drawer somewhere in the office?

Gale: I thought you were going to stop looking.

Dawson: Yeah, so did I, but I can't.

Gale: But you heard what Mr. Brezny said, didn't you? It's a technicality. It doesn't matter, honey. Everything is going to be fine.

Dawson: Well, it'd be better if we could find it. I mean, it's gotta be here somewhere.

Gale: Dawson, stop.

Dawson: Why?

Gale: Because you're scaring me a little.

Dawson: You found it, didn't you?

Gale: Page 63 of the Stephen king novel on his night stand.

Dawson: And it's not signed.

Gale: I never thought it would be. Honey, your father was a lot of things, but he, uh, wasn't good with details.

[Scene: The School library. Joey is looking through the shelf for the right yearbook, but it is gone, when she notices Cassandra sitting at one of the tables looking through a Yearbook.]

Joey: Hi.

Cassandra: Oh, hi.

Joey: Can I?

Cassandra: Sure.

Joey: Thanks.

Cassandra: Don't tell me you're looking for this?

Joey: Yeah.

Cassandra: So, got any theories yet?

Joey: Well, I was looking into her roommate, Shirley Brown. They caught the chicken pox together.

Cassandra: Yeah, but that's doubtful. Rose mentions her later in her letters to Lola Murray. Calls her small-minded. And would you bear your soul to someone you thought was small-minded

Joey: I guess not.

Cassandra: But the whole college friends thing, that's a good idea. I can't believe we both had it. But it's ok. I mean, this whole thing is just an excuse to be around professor wilder anyway, right? You can have the yearbook if you want it.

Joey: Thanks.

[Scene: Pacey's boat. Pacey walks up the pier towards his boat and notices Karen standing next to it.]

Karen: Witter.

Pacey: Torres.

Karen: I thought I might apologize for the stuff I said.

Pacey: What stuff you said?

Karen: You know what stuff.

Pacey: Well, it's ok 'cause I wasn't exactly prince charming, either.

Karen: No, but you got put in the middle of something, Pacey, which wasn't fair. And when you called me on it, I was defensive and judgmental, which wasn't fair, either. Besides, what do I really know about you?

Pacey: I could say the same about you.

Karen: Me? About me there's really not much to know.

Pacey: Oh, come on. That's not an answer.

Karen: You remind me of him.

Pacey: I remind you of a guy who could cheat on his wife?

Karen: Stop. You know, when we got together, it wasn't exactly cheating. Emily had walked out on him. She felt that he spent too much time at the restaurant, and she was right. But what she didn't understand was that without him, civilization would have folded in 6 months. Danny just has this kind of infectious idealism. This belief that things can work out. I think that's what he sees in you.

Pacey: You know, we don't have to stay out here on the dock. You wanna come in?

Karen: No. I came to say I'm sorry, and now that I have, I should probably go home.

Pacey: You sure?

Karen: Yeah.

Pacey: Ok. Well, good night, Karen.

Karen: Good night, Pacey.

[Scene: Jen's house. Jen and Dawson are sitting at the table talking.]

Jen: So, you like her?

Dawson: Yeah. Yeah, I do. She's cool, you know? She wants me to come 3 times a week.

Jen: Good.

Dawson: Good? My lack of mental health is good?

Jen: Yes, because it means that I will get to see you more often. What?

Dawson: Well, we just found out that my dad neglected to add lily to his will.

Jen: And what did your mom say?

Dawson: Well, my mom said the same thing the lawyer said, which is that it's not a big deal. It's a technicality we can work around.

Jen: Well, it probably is.

Dawson: It's not. It can't be.

Jen: I feel like you're, I don't know, like, hanging onto the wrong thing here.

Dawson: What do you mean?

Jen: Um, maybe your mom is right, you know? Maybe the will isn't such a big deal. It's probably-- it's probably nothing. It's probably a red herring, or something. A meaningless little detail sent to you by the universe to throw you off track of the real culprit.

Dawson: And who is that?

Jen: I mean, he just made a mistake, Dawson.

Dawson: I know. I'm not saying he's perfect.

Jen: I know, but you just seem-- you're so afraid to get mad at him.

Dawson: I'm not. What good-- it's not gonna change anything.

Jen: But it might change you. And call me crazy, but it think that is the point of therapy.

[Scene: Joey's dorm room. Joey is sitting on the bed, while Audrey is showing her a video tape.]

Audrey: It was on this site that... ok, so this is the stuff of me giving the tour. George took this. It's nice, isn't it? The lighting's good, and I think it's better than the stuff of me pretending to study, right?

Joey: They're all great, Audrey, but, you know, I'm gonna be late.

Audrey: Just chill. There's only one more option, ok?

[She fast forwards to a part with the camera on her and she is talking to it.]

Audrey: I know, great birthday present, right? I mean, what 14-year-old wants to fend for themselves like an adult? But I have to forgive her, I know that. 'Cause forgiving her is the only way that I'm ever gonna be good to anyone else. The part that's just really just terrifying is that I think that I'm actually... I don't know, I'm, like, turning into her. I'm loud and shameless and bossy and I...I freak people out sometimes. But I don't think that I can change that, 'cause even if I don't particularly like who I am, I--at least I know who that is. I mean, if I tried to change... who the hell knows who I'd be?

[Joey gets a smile on her face and gets up and grabs her coat.]

Audrey: What? What's wrong?

Joey: Nothing's wrong. That--that-- that's great. That's it. That is... that's the one.

Audrey: But I'm just sitting there talking to myself.

Joey: Exactly.

Audrey: But isn't it kind of cheesy and vulnerable?

Joey: No, it's you. It's the real you. I mean, that girl in the video who's not afraid to look stupid... that's the real you. And for what it's worth, I've met your mom. I mean, you're nothing like her. Bye.

Audrey: Bye.

[Scene: The restaurant. Pacey is working in the kitchen when Brecher comes in, all dressed up.]

Brecher: You know, I'm so sorry you're gonna be stuck back here all night. I mean, I feel like the wicked stepmother that's keeping you from the ball.

Pacey: I think my inner princess will get over it.

[Karen comes into the kitchen]

Karen: Wow! You know, I think I would look pretty good with a Rose between my teeth.

[Karen and Brecher get close, when Pacey notices Brecher's wife come into the kitchen.]

Pacey: Uh, hey, Emily!

Emily: Hi, Pacey. Still burning the crepes?

Pacey: Yeah. It's hard to get a hand in here, you know? Everybody's always goofing around.

Brecher: Hey. I--I thought you weren't coming.

Emily: So did I. It's kind of hard to celebrate the success of the restaurant that almost ruined your marriage.

Pacey: Yeah, I imagine that would kinda suck.

Brecher: Dance with me.

Emily: Any time.

[Brecher and Emily leave]

Pacey: You ok?

Karen: Yeah. Sure. Fine. What do you care? You probably called her.

Pacey: Well, you know that's not true.

Karen: Do I?

Pacey: Look, Karen, I know you thought tonight was gonna be your date with destiny, but I'm just trying to be a friend here, ok?

Karen: Is that what you think I need, is a friend?

Pacey: Yeah, 'cause you obviously don't have too many of 'em, or they would've already told you how badly this is gonna end for you, for him, for everybody. They would've told you that things like this—

Karen: told me what, Pacey? That married men don't leave their wives for waitresses they're sleeping with?

Pacey: Yeah.

Karen: Thanks for the news flash.

[Scene: Rachel's office. Dawson and Rachel are meeting for their second session.]

Dawson: I think the worst part about it was that my mom didn't even seem to care. It's like she expected him to have messed this thing up. Maybe that's why I got so mad.

Rachel: So...you were mad?

Dawson: Yeah. Yeah, I was.

Rachel: At your mother... or at him for not signing it?

Dawson: At him, but I can't be mad at him right now.

Rachel: Sure you can. Wasn't your father mad at you? You told me he laid down the law, bought you a plane ticket.

Dawson: Yeah. I gave it right back to him.

Rachel: And you had reasons for that.

Dawson: Yeah, but he obviously had reasons for wanting me to go back to USC.

Rachel: Yes, he did. And maybe he was wrong. If he were here and we could ask him, we'd probably find out that all those reasons were more about him-- his hopes, his expectations. And just because he died, doesn't mean that he gets to win the argument.

Dawson: When I remember that night, all I feel... is furious.

Rachel: That's ok. That's how you feel.

Dawson: So what do I do now?

Rachel: What every 18-year-old has to do: Decide what to do with your own life.

Dawson: And what if I don't know?

Rachel: That's fine, too. Although, personally... I think you do know.

[Scene: The restaurant. Pacey comes out of the kitchen and notices Karen sitting alone at one of the tables. And goes over to her.]

Pacey: Hey, Torres.

Karen: Hey, Pacey. What do you want?

Pacey: Well, when I was running my mouth off back there, I forgot to mention one thing. You look amazing tonight.

[Karen looks over to see Brecher and Emily close dancing.]

Karen: You ever wish you were someone else?

Pacey: Yeah. Harrison ford, raiders of the lost ark.

Karen: No. I don't mean someone specific. I just mean someone else, someone... completely different from who you are. That's what I want right now.

Pacey: Well, hi, I'm Scott. And you are?

Karen: I'M...I'm Marie. Nice to meet you, Scott.

Pacey: It's nice to meet you, too, Marie. You are without a doubt the single most jaw-droppingly beautiful woman in this room. And I was wondering if you would honor me with a dance.

Karen: Yeah.

[They get up to dance. And Karen sees Brecher Kiss Emily.]

Pacey: So, tell me, Marie, where are you from?

Karen: Just drop it, Pacey.

Pacey: Pacey? Who is this Pacey? I have a funny feeling I should be insulted.

Karen: How can he... I mean, how can he just—

Pacey: you know, just calm down, Karen.

Karen: I need to go talk to him.

Pacey: I think that that would be a really bad idea.

Karen: I don't care.

Pacey: Karen, what would you say to him? Seriously, what would you say?

[Scene: The project meeting. Joey comes in late, and Cassandra moves over giving her room on the couch.]

Cassandra: Here you go, Joey.

Joey: Thank you. Sorry.

Wilder: We'll forgive you if you brought string cheese. No? Ok. Guess you had to be there. Cassandra, you were wowing us with your theory.

Cassandra: It's not a theory, really, just a notion. I think whoever Rose was writing those letters to must also have been a writer. I mean, besides sex, that's practically all she talks about, her insecurities about writing. And who cares about writing except other writers?

Wilder: Well, it's highly possible. Joey, agree or disagree?

Joey: Uh, I strongly agree.

Wilder: Sounds like you have a theory of your own you'd like to share.

Joey: I think Rose lizard's greatest confidant was another writer. I think she was Rose Lazare.

Wilder: I'll bite.

Joey: Well, I--I think she was writing the letters to herself. I think they were like a journal or a diary or a confessional of some kind because they're all about writing, and there are no envelopes, and there's no small talk like in all the other letters.

Wilder: The uninteresting ones?

Joey: Right. I mean, they're all filled with references about what's going on around her. You know, everyday life, political events, uh, mutual friends, publishers, editors. And these letters are all about herself. You know, her fears and insecurities-- the real her. And I think the only person that she was brave enough to share that with was herself. [Every one is silent] Am I a total idiot?

Wilder: No, Joey potter. I think that hush you're hearing is the silence of 5 people simultaneously asking themselves, "why didn't I think of that?"

[Scene: After the meeting. Joey and Wilder are cleaning up the mess from the meeting.]

Wilder: Kafka writes something very similar to Felice. "Writing letters is like communicating with ghosts, "and not just the ghost of the person addressed, but with your own ghost as well."

Joey: Who's Felice?

Wilder: Kafka's fiancé. They had this intense romance, a kind of will-they, won't they that went on for years. Ultimately... nothing happened. Oh. You wanna hand me that glass?

Joey: Yeah. Do you really think I was right about those letters?

Wilder: Yours was the best idea I've heard so far. I'm not surprised. You're a freshman. Your brain has yet to be encoded with your discipline's received ideas.

Joey: Oh, so, in nonacademic terms, I'm just too stupid to know any better?

Wilder: Would you settle for having an open mind? For most people in college, that's the first thing to go. Wow. I hadn't pegged you for such a hardcore cynic.

Joey: I'm not.

Wilder: Look. It's like this. Most people, when they get to college, feel really insecure. It seems like everybody around them knows so much more. So they race to try to catch up, pretend to know things, instead of slowing down to actually learn them. Because they don't realize that the discomfort of uncertainty is the most precious part of the experience. See, if you can feel comfortable... not knowing, you can learn anything, anything. And if not, well, then you've stopped before you've begun.

Joey: For a while, I was...

Wilder: feeling insecure.

Joey: No. And I just... I guess what I'm saying is, um... thanks for choosing me to be on this project. Thank you for sticking with it.

Wilder: Grab that stuff. I'll clean the rest tomorrow.

Joey: Can I ask you one more stupid question?

Wilder: Shoot.

Joey: Who the hell is Derrida anyway?

Wilder: Ha ha! Well, uh, let's just say if literature were the star wars universe, he would be like the Darth Maul.

[Scene: The radio Station. Jen is working there as an announcer]

Jen on Radio: WBCW. Uh, this is Jen Lindley, and I've been letting you people make requests for long enough now. Tonight I have a dedication of my own. And this one goes out to a very old friend who's seen me at my best and at my worst, and one night at mercer pond, got a pretty good view of me in nothing at all.

[REM's Nightswimming playing]

[Flashback scene to the night that Dawson and Jen went Skinny dipping.]

Dawson: Here I come. Whoo! Ohh! Invigorating!

[Laughing]

[Scene: Joey's dorm room. Joey and Audrey are talking about yesterday.]

Audrey: You really got the idea from my tape?

Joey: Yes.

Audrey: And... was wilder impressed?

Joey: I don't know. I think so.

Audrey: Hmm. How impressed?

Joey: Audrey.

Audrey: Joey, you said you were there after everyone else left.

Joey: Ohh, Audrey, please shut up.

Audrey: You don't care that you've obviously impressed him and that he obviously thinks you're special?

Joey: Heh. No. I just don't care at all.

Audrey: [Scoffs]

[Scene: Karen' house. Pacey arrives at the door carrying several bags.]

Pacey: Hey.

Karen: Hey.

Pacey: I figured it was my turn to come visit you.

Karen: What's that?

Pacey: It's a sample platter of tonight's menu. I noticed you didn't really eat too much of anything at the restaurant.

Karen: You know, I hate you for making me say this, but...thank you.

Pacey: For what?

Karen: For this-- for bringing me dinner, for listening the other night, for trying to save me when I told you not to, for not saying, "I told you so."

Pacey: That last one may be a bridge too far, because I did tell you so, and I have no problem telling you that I did.

Karen: He just-- he kissed her... right there in front of me, like I wasn't even there.

Pacey: Well, public kissing is one of the traditional benefits of marriage.

Karen: I need to break it off with him. I mean, I just-- I need to end this. I need to move on. Because he's obviously not gonna leave her and... which means we're not going anywhere.

Pacey: That's good.

Karen: God, this is embarrassing. I'm just another single female with a destructive dating pattern.

Pacey: Well, then do like you said. Change it.

Karen: What does that even mean, change it? I mean, to what? To you? Sorry.

Pacey: Just dig in, ok?

Karen: Do you want to join me? I might even have a table under there somewhere.

Pacey: Sure.

[The phone rings and the answering machine picks up. They both just listen to it.]

Answering machine: Hi, this is Karen. If you want me to know who you are, I suggest you leave a message.

[Beep]

Brecher: Hey, uh, it's me. So, you left. Uh, I can't say I blame you. God, what a mess, Karen. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My, my life is so... complicated right now, and I'm sorry that you're stuck in the middle of it. I...I know that that means practically nothing to you, and I know that you just want to punch me in the face, and you have every right to, but... I love you, Karen. I--I really do... in ways big and small. I never wanted you to get hurt. Please, Karen, if you're there, pick up, please. I just--I wanna talk. I just want to know you're all right.

[Scene: Dawson's House. It is late, and Dawson is just getting home to find Gale sitting on the couch by the fireplace reading.]

Dawson: You still up?

Gale: Ohh, if I don't keep reading, I'll wind up only speaking baby talk.

Dawson: [Chuckles]

Gale: Oh, you've got, uh, mail.

Dawson: What is it?

Gale: I don't know. Open it and see.

Dawson: I seem to have won a film festival in Hooksett, New Hampshire. Which is... really bizarre because I never entered a film festival in Hooksett, New Hampshire.

Gale: No, but your father did. Yep. He wasn't very good with little details, but...he always believed in you.

Dawson: I'm not going back to USC.

Gale: Ok.

Dawson: Ok?

Gale: The last thing I want you to do is go back to a school that you don't like out of some misplaced desire to honor your father's memory.

Dawson: But he was so set on me going back there.

Gale: No. He wasn't ready to give up on the dream, but he would've. You had your reasons for leaving. You'd have won him over.

Dawson: You think?

Gale: Oh, honey, under all that bluster and concern, he knew it was your decision to make.

Dawson: I miss him.

Gale: So do I.

Dawson: He could be so—

Gale: I know. I know. He couldn't make a PB&J without getting jelly in the peanut butter jar.

Dawson: And he would refuse to buy socks. He would just borrow mine. I loved him... you know?

Gale: Me, too.

Dawson: [Sighs]