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  05x12 - Sleeping Arrangements
 Posted: 02/10/02 21:25
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Episode 512 - Sleeping Arrangements

[Scene: The deck of Pacey's boat. Pacey's cleaning on the top of the deck when Melanie comes walking up to the boat behind him.]

Melanie: hey, don't I know you from somewhere?

Pacey: Well, I don't know. All of us male models tend to look the same.

Melanie: I don't know... you vaguely resemble this boy I had the time of my life with last summer.

Pacey: Come on up here.

Melanie: [Laughs]

Pacey: Melanie Shea Thompson. [Laughs] I always had this funny feeling that your and my paths were gonna cross again. What took you so long?

Melanie: I, uh, got busy.

Pacey: Got busy... kind of sounds like code for you started dating guys more appropriate to your station in life.

Melanie: There was a guy. Didn't work out, though. So is this what you do all day? Boat stuff? Shouldn't you have a job, or something?

Pacey: I do actually have a job.

Melanie: Wait. My cute, slacker boyfriend went and got himself a job?

Pacey: Yeah. You ever heard of civilization?

Melanie: As in the hippest restaurant in town? You work there?

Pacey: That's me.

Melanie: Wow. Talk about shattering a girls faith in the natural order of the universe.

Pacey: What did you expect? Your uncle was just gonna let me live on his boat free-of-charge for the rest of my life? I had to do something to pay the rent.

Melanie: Well, actually, that, um... that leads me to why I'm here. I've got some bad news for you. My uncle sold the boat.

Pacey: Well, that sucks.

Melanie: Yeah. But I have good news, too. My uncle selling the boat is true, but what I failed to tell you is that he bought another boat... a bigger boat, an 8o-foot shipyard schooner, to be exact, and he sent me down her to ask you if you wanted to sail around the Greek islands with him. Well, I volunteered, actually.

Pacey: Are you kidding?

Melanie: I kid you not. It leaves in 3 days. All you gotta do is remember to get your butt to the airport.

Pacey: Interesting.

Melanie: Interesting? Is that all you have to say? What happened to the guy who was ready to take the next boat out of here?

Pacey: He's still present and accounted for. Just say you caught him a little bit off guard.

Melanie: Well, I should go before this boat stirs feelings that I have neither the time nor the luxury to act on.

Pacey: [Laughs]

Melanie: But think about it, Pacey. It's the real deal.

[She leaves and he just sits there on the deck of the boat.]

Pacey: [Sighs]

[Opening Credits]

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: Jen and Gram' Bathroom. Jen is in the bathroom putting on her makeup when Dawson comes to the open door and knocks on it.]


Dawson: Safe to come in?

Jen: A woman at work. Enter at your own risk.

Dawson: They're showing last year's senior thesis films at Vis-Arts after registration. Want to join me?

Jen: [Sighs] I would, but after bluffing my way through a philosophy midterm, which I am praying is multiple choice, then I have to go to the radio station and do a shift.

Dawson: Ok. Let's grab dinner tonight or something. It's been a while since we just hung out.

Jen: I can't. I have to take publicity stills down at the station.

Dawson: You know, I never really thought you were that into makeup.

Jen: You have no idea how much makeup it takes to look like you're really not that into makeup.

Dawson: I thought I knew all your secrets.

Jen: You'll never know all a girl's secrets.

Dawson: You wouldn't happen to know the secret of where my toothbrush is, would you?

Jen: It has a blue handle, doesn't it?

Dawson: That's the one.

Jen: [Sighs] Yeah... I thought it was old and used it to separate my eyelashes. I'm sorry.

Dawson: That's all right. I'll just use yours, if it's ok?

Jen: Actually...

Dawson: Jen, we've been sleeping together for 3 weeks.

Jen: I know, but it's my toothbrush.

Dawson: Ok. All right. No problem. Ahem. That is quite an extensive dental floss collection you've got going there.

Jen: Well, there's a lot of different varieties, with a lot of different applications. [] You know what-- Dawson, please. That's my drawer.

Dawson: Yes, it is.

Jen: I'm sorry. I don't mean to freak you out. I'm—

Dawson: takes a lot more than that to scare me. [He kisses her]Good morning.

[Scene: Prof. Wilder's Classroom. He is lecturing the class as he walks around, taking notice of a certain boy who is transfixed with the back of Joey's head.]

Wilder: Wilder: Of course, writing a first novel is a major undertaking, and it could be argued that like, say... getting married, it's not something one should attempt before the age of 25. However, that is not going to stop us from trying. So for next time, I want you to read the first 2 books on your syllabus. One's a masterpiece, the other a dismal, horrific failure. If you can't tell which is which, you might want to rethink your schedules. Ok? [He looks around but no one answers.] We good? Till next time.

[Everyone gets up to leave]

Wilder: Not so fast, miss potter.

[she stays behind as everyone except the boy leaves]

Joey: Hi.

Wilder: Hi. Joey, is there anyone in this class with whom you would wish to become better acquainted?

Joey: Is this a trick question?

Wilder: I have a sneaking suspicion that boy in the back there is waiting to talk to you. Elliot! Elliot sawyer. His name's Elliot. Had him for freshman comp. Elliot, are you waiting to talk to me?

Elliot: Um... no.

Wilder: And is your shoe actually untied?

Elliot: No, not so much.

Wilder: I'm rarely wrong about these things. Elliot, we're you attempting to flirt with this girl over here.

Elliot: No. No, I was just—

Wilder: oh, that's too bad. Guess you're not half the man I thought you were.

[he leaves them alone]

Elliot: You don't remember me, do you?

Joey: Should I?

Elliot: I sat behind you in econ.

Joey: Well, I usually try to face front. The teachers really seem to respond to it.

Elliot: Well, I met you back at that party at the beginning of the year. That Boston bay party.

Joey: Right. Sure.

Elliot: Listen, uh... a lot of weird things happened that night.

Joey: Can't argue with that. I should probably go. I have another class.

Elliot: Right. Hey. Which way you headed? South campus or—

Joey: uh, north.

Elliot: Ahem. Well, I could walk you there. Maybe we could, uh, stop and get a cup of coffee or something.

Joey: Um, actually, I'm kind of late to meet my roommate. Right. Well, I guess I'll see you around then.

[Scene: The radio station. Jen is on the air with her Radio Show.]

Jen: All right, people, this is Jen Lindley on 96.6, WBCW, coming at you with 4 hours of pure, unadulterated, kick-ass rock. And if you ask me, not that you did, but I'm gonna tell you anyway, that's the problem with music today, is that nobody rocks anymore. I mean, you've got your Britney, you've got your N'Sync, blah, blah, blah. But where is the rock, I ask you? And so with this, I give you the stylings of Tenacious D, with their rousing little ditty, Explosivo. [CD skips] Ow! Oh, gee, I'm awfully sorry. That was not supposed to happen. My apologies. Uh... ok, this wouldn't be a problem if I had another song selected, but that's just not my process. That's not how I work. So I am going to... I am going to take a request. Hi.

Girl: Hello?

Jen: You're on the air.

Girl: Hi. Can I ask you something?

Jen: Yeah. Sure. But, um... I should lay the ground rules here, I will not, under any circumstances, play Limp Bizkit. Just so you know. Ok?

Girl: Actually, I was gonna ask you if you had a boyfriend?

Jen: [Laughs] Yeah. Actually, I do. Um...although it's kind of hard to think of him as my boyfriend 'cause I've known the guy for years, but, yes, I do.

Girl: Well, I have a boyfriend, and we seem to be having this problem, and I need to talk to someone about it.

Jen: Ok. Um... shoot.

Girl: Ok. We just started having sex, and I like him a lot, don't get me wrong, but...

Jen: the sex... yes?

Girl: Well, more often than not, it tends to be somewhat... abbreviated.

Jen: Oh, I see. Well, fear not, my dear girl, you are not alone here. This is actually a problem that can be solved.

Girl: How? Can you help me?

Jen: Well, um, the first thing that you have to understand is the truly fragile nature of the male ego.

[Scene: The frat house. Jack and Dawson are unloading the car and moving Jack in.]

Dawson: This is a big step, man. You excited?

Jack: Yeah. Living in the house is gonna be a blast.

Dawson: What about Jen and grams?

Jack: Oh, I love 'em both, but I need a life. Besides, Jen and I have been doing this will and grace thing for far too long. We just need a break from each other.

Dawson: [Laughs]

Jack: Yeah. Besides, she's made it painfully obvious that she is not too fond of the whole fraternity world. It's better this way. Do me a favor?

Dawson: Sure.

Jack: Take care of her for me.. Dawson:

Dawson: [Laughs] Absolutely.

[the go upstairs to Jack's new room.]

Jack: Wow!

Blossom: Jack. How are you, man?

Jack: Hey, good to see you.

Blossom: You, too. Dawson, right?

Dawson: Yeah.

Blossom: Hey. How you doing?

Dawson: Great room.

Blossom: Yeah. Yeah, jack really lucked out.

Jack: My own bathroom? I've never had my own bathroom.

Blossom: Yeah. You gotta watch the hot water, though. It doesn't last long in the mornings.

Jack: What? You used to live here?

Blossom: Yeah. Yeah. But I'm moving on to bigger and better things.

Jack: How'd I get so lucky?

Blossom: Usual way. Lottery. We randomly assign numbers and uh... hey, you came up a winner.

Jack: Sweet!

Dawson: Jack, this will fit your porn collection, right?

Jack: Yeah. That's funny. He's kidding.

Blossom: Hey, that's the beauty of having a single. 100% privacy.

[Eric comes into the room]

Eric: Hey, you looking for me, man?

Blossom: Yeah, gimme a hand with this.

Eric: Hey, jack.

Jack: What's up, Eric?

Blossom: Ready? One, 2, 3, lift.

Jack: All right. It's gonna look sweet in our room.

Blossom: You guys are rooming together?

Jack: Yeah. Down at the end of the hall. Why don't you come visit, man. It's gonna be a major party room.

Blossom: Yeah. Yeah. I will.

Jack: And you, too, Dawson.

Dawson: Will do.

[They carry out a bar]

Jack: That's a little weird.

Dawson: What?

Jack: Well, blossom is an upperclassman, and Eric is a new active and they're rooming together. What's that all about?

Dawson: Why is that weird?

Jack: Come on, man. Would you give this room up?

[Scene: The restaurant. Danny and Audrey are there talking]

Danny: Audrey.

Audrey: Danny.

Danny: Table 6.

Audrey: What about it?

Danny: They're not happy.

Audrey: Can't say I blame them. The salmon's kind of gross today. Sucks to be you.

[Pacey walks up to join them]

Audrey: Hey, gorgeous!

Danny: You never call me gorgeous.

Audrey: That's because you're old enough to be my father, Danny.

Danny: Ouch. How you doing, Witter?

Pacey: I'm really good, Danny, but I need to talk to you.

Danny: No.

Pacey: No?

Danny: No. Here's the first rule. File it away for someday when you're running your own kitchen. When an employee asks to speak with you, just say no. It's much easier that way. I mean what are the chances that his or her question are gonna actually yield positive results. Ooh, before I forget, you know Ephram?

Pacey: Yeah. The guy with all the prison tattoos.

Danny: Yeah. Had to 86 him.

Pacey: How come?

Danny: He's back in prison.

Pacey: Seriously?

Danny: Yep. Guy's a freak, but man, is he a genius with bread. Good stuff. An idiot savant. Moment of silence. Ok, let's move on. I need a new bread baker, which is where you come in.

Pacey: Me?

Danny: Yeah. Bread is an art, Pacey, and today, you're gonna take that first step towards becoming that artist. You think you're up for it?

Pacey: Well—

Danny: I sense doubt. But, Pacey, you're good, Pacey. You are good. You are by far the most naturally gifted culinary freak I have ever had the good fortune to stumble across. A bit rough around the edges, yes... but the force is strong in you, kid. I'm serious. I don't know what I'd do without you around here.

Man: Danny!

Danny: Coming! To be continued, ok?


Pacey: Ai-yi-yi.

Audrey: What's up with you? You look all perturbed.

Pacey: I do?

Audrey: Yeah. Something wrong?

Pacey: Nah. It's nothing. Order up. [Sighs]

[Scene: Grams' Kitchen. Grams is at the table playing a hand held game, really intently when Dawson comes into the kitchen.]

Grams: [Sighs] Jack left this behind. I think it must be the work of the devil. It's had me under it's spell for 2 hours now. [Sighs] So how was registration, Dawson?

Dawson: Uh... a little weird. I don't really fit in there.

Grams: Why?

Dawson: Well... because I'm not really that mad at the government, and I don't smoke clove cigarettes, and apparently, I don't know nearly enough about the French new wave.

Grams: Oh, well, you'll just have to show them a thing or 2. Won't you?

Dawson: That's right. Grams? I, um... I just wanna say, I... [Sighs] It's gotta be weird for you seeing Jen and me together... under your own roof, no less, and I want you to know that I think your granddaughter's amazing.

Grams: That's very sweet of you, Dawson. And--and--you're right. It has been a bit strange. But I like to think I've come a long way over the past few years with Jennifer's help. Once upon a time, I couldn't even say the word "penis."

Dawson: You know what, it would... it would be fine by me if you never said it again.

[Both laugh]

Grams: Can do.

Dawson: Whatever ground rules you decide to set, I promise to abide by them.

Grams: Dawson, you are just about the nicest young man I know. With the exception of jack, of course, who we all know will never make an honest woman out of my Jennifer. All I ask is that you be kind to each other, and you'll never hear so much as a peep out of me. Deal?

Dawson: Deal.

Grams: Speaking of Jennifer, she's on the radio right now.


Jen: Meryl, you're on the air.

Meryl: First of all, Jen, I just wanna say, I think you're doing an awesome job.

Jen: Thank you.

Meryl: Second of all, I've been dating the nicest, sweetest guy for 3 months now, and everything's been awesome. But all of a sudden he started...

Jen: pulling away?

Meryl: Totally.

Jen: Yeah. Well, it's been 3 months. The honeymoon period's coming to an end.

Meryl: What can I do?

Jen: [Sighs] I feel for you, sister. I really do. I wish I had some sort of magical answer, but the harsh reality is that there is no Santa Claus, professional wrestling is fake, and eventually, one way or another, men leave.

Meryl: There must be something you can do.

Jen: Well, frequent sex usually helps, for a while. Keeping some things to yourself is actually really good, but honestly, unless you're blessed with a proclivity for other women, the best way to deal with men is the same as any other major disaster. You gotta know what's coming, and you have to be prepared. So... listen, hold the line, Meryl, and during the break I'll supply you with a list of essential reading and viewing materials.

[Dawson Turns down volume]

Grams: [Sighs] Jennifer, she's... always had quite a flair for the provocative.

Dawson: Yeah, she has.

Grams: I am certain she doesn't really believe all that. She's probably just fanning the flames of popular culture.

Dawson: Yeah.

[Scene: The book store. Joey, is going through the books, when she finds one written by someone she knows. She pulls it down and we see that it was written by Prof. Wilder, who is walking up behind her.]

Wilder: Don't believe the blurbs. They're all bought and paid for.

Joey: You wrote this?

Wilder: Shameless, isn't it, assigning my own work? That's the only way that monstrosity has managed to stay in print all these years. Go ahead, read the first one.

Joey: "A whiz-bang ride through the twisted soul of... Neal Pollack." Wait a second, as in...

Wilder: the greatest living American writer? Absolutely. Relatively meaningless, however, since I happened to be sleeping with his stepdaughter at the time.

Joey: [Gasps] So she's the girl in the book.

Wilder: And how do you know there's a girl in the book?

Joey: Well, there's always a girl in the book.

Wilder: You know, ms. Potter, you're getting a little too sassy for your own good here. Pretty soon you're gonna have all the boys in my class flirting with you, not that it's any of my business.

Joey: So what's it about?

Wilder: Well, a bunch of friends, living together, sleeping together, sleeping with each other's friends-- it's very incestuous-- featuring, of course, a thinly veiled version of me when it was 20, whoo!

Joey: You wrote this when you were 20?

Wilder: Yeah, pretty disastrous haircut, huh?

[she turns it over to see him younger with a bad haircut]

Wilder: But you know what they say? It never hurts to remain on a first-name basis with the person you used to be, otherwise he, or she, may come back to haunt you when you least expect it. And don't stay up all night reading it, please.

[Scene: The restaurant. Pacey is sitting at a table alone when Audrey comes by setting the tables.]

Audrey: Hey.

Pacey: Hey.

Audrey: So... are you gonna tell me what's wrong or am I gonna have to punch you in the face?

Pacey: How are you so sure there's something wrong with me?

Audrey: Well, because usually you're so high energy, which can be kind of annoying, but I have to say something-- high-energy Pacey is way cooler than sullen Pacey.

Pacey: I got offered a job.

Audrey: Mmm, so that's a good thing, right?

Pacey: Yes, it is most definitely a good thing.

Audrey: At another restaurant?

Pacey: No, on a boat.

Audrey: A restaurant on a boat. That's kind of weird.

Pacey: No, a boat-boat, the kind that sails around the world and takes me with it.

Audrey: Oh, I get it. Sorry. So what's the problem? That's, like, your whole thing, right? The young man and the sea routine.

Pacey: Well, thank you for making it sound so stupid, but, yes, it is my thing, and I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I was ecstatic at the prospect of getting back out there.

Audrey: But...

Pacey: but... I'm having a bit of trouble broaching the subject with Brecher.

Audrey: Why?

Pacey: I have the sneaking suspicion he's gonna be a little disappointed in me.

Audrey: Why, because civilization can't function without you?

Pacey: No, because he's taken a lot of time and energy to teach me what he knows.

Audrey: So stay.

Pacey: Well, this is the opportunity I've been waiting for all year.

Audrey: So go.

Pacey: You know, I'm always amazed by what a help you are, Audrey.

Audrey: [Laughs] Listen... Pacey, sailing out into the great wide open, it sounds like an awesome opportunity to me, and if that's what you want to do, you should do it.

[Scene: The Frat House. Blossom comes into Jacks room where Jack is waiting for him..]

Blossom: You looking for me?

Jack: Yeah.

Blossom: What's up?

Jack: [Sighs] Listen, is there any, uh... any reason you decided to give up this room?

Blossom: Not really. I just wanted a change of scenery this year. You ok?

Jack: Man, when I joined this fraternity, I was just hoping to blend in, you know, be one of the guys. I don't want any special treatment.

Blossom: Jack, you're one of us. No one thinks of you as being any different.

Jack: Really? Then--then why didn't anybody want to r-room with me?

Blossom: Jack... we're glad you're here, seriously.

Jack: I'm serious, too, blossom. Come on, man. What--what's the story here?

Blossom: [Sighs] Ok, look... originally, you were assigned a roommate, and he was a little uncomfortable about rooming with you, and I thought I needed to be sensitive to this guy's feelings, but by the time he came to me people were already settling in, so it--it was too late to rearrange everyone. This seemed like the easiest solution.

Jack: Yeah. It's Eric, right?

Blossom: It doesn't matter.

Jack: You said it was too late to rearrange everybody, and it's a little unusual you rooming with a freshman, right?

Blossom: Jack, I'm sorry. All right? I'm sorry. I really didn't see this coming. All right, I'll, uh, I'll catch you later, buddy.

Jack: [Sighs]

[Scene: The Restaurant. Danny is in the Kitchen preparing food when Pacey comes up to talk to him.]

Pacey: Hey, Danny, look, uh, I need to talk to you for a second, ok?

Danny: Yeah, look, I gotta go out and meet the butcher, kid, all right? Give me a couple of minutes.

Pacey: No, Danny, Danny, Danny! This is really important. I need to talk to you for just one second, ok?

Danny: All right, kid, you got 2 minutes.

Pacey: Ok, this is very hard for me to say to you, but—

Danny: you're not gonna quit again, are you, kid? Out with it.

Pacey: You remember how over the summer I told you I was working on a yacht down in the Caribbean?

Danny: Vaguely, yeah.

Pacey: I've been given that same opportunity again.

Danny: What, this summer? Hey, that's great. I mean, I'll miss you, but it's easy to find summer help.

Pacey: It's not for the summer. It's for right now.

Danny: Now-now?

Pacey: Yes. Like 3 days from now-now.

Danny: Wow. So this is what you want? You're gonna do this?

Pacey: Well, yeah, this is what I've always wanted.

Danny: Well, hey, good for you, kid.

Pacey: I mean, I--I'm really sorry that I gotta give you such short notice, 'cause they just told me—

Danny: hey, come on. Look, don't worry about it, all right? Look, it's a small price to pay for the opportunity of a lifetime, right?

Pacey: Well-- all right.

Danny: Hey, hey! [Bangs pan] We're losing another one, guys. The kid here is off to do bigger and better things, so let's give him a proper send-off, huh?

All: Hey!

Danny: And that's about it. I gotta go meet the butcher, but, uh, look, if I don't see you, kid, good luck out there.

Pacey: Thanks.

[Danny leaves and Pacey just watches on confused.]

[Scene: The restaurant. Later that evening, Pacey and Audrey are finishing up the closing duties.]

Audrey: did he take it?

Pacey: He was really great about it, actually.

Audrey: I don't know why you're so surprised.

Pacey: What do you mean?

Audrey: I don't know why you're surprised he was great about it. I mean, the people that care about you, they just want you to be happy, right?

Pacey: Well, yeah, of course, but I-- I don't know, I just-- I expected him to be more...

Audrey: disappointed.

Pacey: Right.

Audrey: Maybe you just wanted him to be a little bit more disappointed. Not that you would ever admit it, Pacey, but did you ever stop and think that you might actually like it here-- I mean, this restaurant, this city, this pathetic, yet undeniable thing you've got called a life here?

Pacey: Yeah. All of which really pales in comparison to the view from the deck of a yacht in the middle of the Caribbean.

Audrey: All right, all right. You're gonna make me seasick. [Chuckles] And then, of course, I mean... there is that other reason, too.

Pacey: Oh, yeah? What's that?

Audrey: Duh. You totally want me.

Pacey: Audrey, if you're attracted to me, you can just say so. We don't have to play all these childish games.

Audrey: Hmm, Pacey... you're really nice and everything. It's just that... I don't know. You're kind of... boring.

Pacey: Boring? I'm boring! You think I'm boring?!

Audrey: Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to explain really. It's just the whole walking on water thing. It doesn't really do it for me.

Pacey: I'm not boring. I am not boring. Did you ever stop to think that you might not actually be my type either?

Audrey: No!

Pacey: No?

Audrey: No. Guys don't have types.

Pacey: What do you mean guys-- of course, guys have types. Are we not human? Do we not have feelings?

Audrey: Pacey.

Pacey: Yes?

Audrey: I have boobs. You would sleep with me.

Pacey: No. I don't think that I could, actually.

Audrey: Erectile dysfunction?

Pacey: No, not erectile dysfunction. You're just too bawdy for me.

Audrey: Ew, bawdy?! You make it sound like I'm Bette Midler or something.

Pacey: Well, hey, if the shoe fits.

Audrey: [Laughs]

Pacey: You want a ride home?

Audrey: Yeah, actually, that would be nice.

Pacey: Ok.

Audrey: Uh-oh. I think someone's trying to get your attention.

Pacey: Really?

Audrey: Mm-hmm.

Pacey: How do you know?

Audrey: Well, she's either trying to get your attention or mine, which means she's either got really crappy taste in men, or she's a really smart lesbian.

Pacey: Really?

[turns to see that it is Melanie]

Audrey: Uh-huh, and who is she?

Pacey: She is just a friend.

Audrey: I see. Still want to give me that ride?

Pacey: Not so much, no. Thought so. But I will.

Audrey: No. Don't worry about it, Witter. I'm all about the cab these days. Listen... be careful, use redundant forms of birth control, and don't push her head down. Girls don't like that.

Pacey: You think?

Audrey: Good night, Pacey.


Pacey: How are ya?

Melanie: Good.

Pacey: Wanna go?

Melanie: Uh-huh.

Pacey: Ok.

[Scene: Outside Grams' House. Dawson is sitting alone outside, when Jen comes walking down the sidewalk to join him.]

Dawson: Hi.

Jen: Hey. What's goin' on?

Dawson: Aw, not much, just sittin' here thinkin', waitin' for you.

Jen: So you were listening, huh?

Dawson: I was.

Jen: Yeah. Actually, a lot of people were. Producers seem to think that I'm Boston bay's answer to Carrie Bradshaw. They want to give me my own radio call-in talk show about relationships.

Dawson: Ha, that's great.

Jen: Yeah, it is. [Sighs] So why don't you say it, Dawson? Why don't you just go ahead and let's get this over with, ok?

Dawson: Get what over with?

Jen: Whatever it is that you've been sitting out here cooking up to tell me.

Dawson: Jen, I was sitting out here hoping that you'd want to go out with me for a while. I don't know if you noticed, but we actually spent more time together when I was living somewhere else.

Jen: Well, I told you this morning... I'm really busy.

Dawson: Ok.

Jen: [Sighs] What? This is it, ok? I am who I am, Dawson.

Dawson: Jen, I'm not gonna fight with you.

Jen: What does that mean?

Dawson: [Sighs] I'm not your other boyfriends-- I'm not gonna fight with you, I'm not gonna lie to you, and I'm not gonna cheat on you. I'm gonna go to the movies. Right? If you want to come with me, it'd be great. If not, I'll see you when I get home... 'cause I will come home. And I'm gonna keep coming home no matter how hard you try and push me away. Now, you can either take my word for it or you can keep on testing me, but either way, Jen, the results are going to be the same.

Jen: [Sighs]

[Scene: Blossom and Eric's Room. Jack comes in while Eric is watching TV.]

TV: He hits the point after. The redskins 14, the patriots-- hmm.

Jack: So... this is the room I was supposed to be in. Not bad.

Eric: Who told you?

Jack: No one. I figured it out.

Eric: Look, try to understand. I mean, you're a cool guy... obviously. Ok, I-- I ju--I just didn't know if I was gonna be-- be comfortable around somebody's who's so openly gay.

Jack: I understand completely. I mean, besides, I'd probably try and convert you, right? Make you dress up in some of that, what, tight designer clothing. Plus, you know, there's all those hidden messages in that--that disco music that we love to listen to so much.

Eric: Don't do this, man.

Jack: Do what, Eric? I haven't done anything but try and fit in around here, and you're making me feel like some kind of quarantine freak, man.

Eric: Look, jack—

Jack: no, just forget it, all right? You don't need to explain yourself to me.

Eric: You know what? You're right. I don't... jack. Ok, you know, because I don't-- I don't want people... thinking that I'm gay. Ok?

Jack: What? Why not?

Eric: Because it-- [Laughs nervously] I don't--I don't know. I--I don't know. I'm--I guess because I'm a bit of a homophobe or somethin'.

Jack: Look... if you ever want to have a real conversation, my door is always open. Otherwise, you have a nice life.

[Scene: Joey and Audrey's Dorm room. Joey is lying on her bed, when Audrey comes in kicks off her shoes, and Joey watches as one of them flies across the room and knocks some stuff off the desk. Audrey then goes and collapses on Joey's bed next to her.]

Audrey: [Groans] Waitressing is a bitch!

Joey: Nice entrance.

Audrey: Ohh, my feet feel like one enormous blister.

Joey: I told you not to wear those shoes.

Audrey: Ohh, ok. It's official. You do know everything.

Joey: How was work?

Audrey: Mm, can I tell you later? I'm too tired to think.

Joey: Audrey has it escaped your attention that this is my bed?

Audrey: Can I help it if this is the one closest to the door?

Joey: No. We can't both sleep here together.

Audrey: Mm-hmm, sure we can. It'll be the most action this bed's ever seen.

Joey: Well, for your information I got asked out today.

Audrey: [Exaggerated gasp] Of course, you said no.

Joey: Of course.

Audrey: Because you're long-suffering and insane and fixated on Dawson.

Joey: How dysfunctional do you think I am?

Audrey: Hmm, about one lithium pill away from girl, interrupted status.

Joey: You know, for your information, the thing that stopped me from accepting a very tempting offer today was the fact that the boy asking was one of your conquests.

Audrey: What conquest?

Joey: Elliott. Elliott sawyer. You met him at the beginning of the year at the Boston bay parties-- cute and blond, has this, uh, Crispin Glover thing.

Audrey: That guy. I didn't sleep with that guy.

Joey: Audrey, I ran into him when he was leaving our room the next morning.

Audrey: Well, yeah... because he was nice enough to walk me back here, but as soon as he found out that you were my roommate, he kept yammering on about how wonderful you were, and, eventually, I just feel asleep in a nauseated stupor. The romance pretty much ended there.

Joey: Oh.

Audrey: Yeah...oh.

Joey: You know, you could have mentioned this sooner.

Audrey: Well, I probably would have if I'd know how cute you thought he was.

[Scene: Pacey's Boat. Pacey is getting some drinks for Melanie and himself while she sits on the couch.]

Pacey: Remember that time Leon got us into a bar fight in St. John?

Melanie: Yes, and you were so drunk and you still managed to talk the cops into not throwing us in jail.

Pacey: Well, I am quite the charmer.

Melanie: That must explain how a spoiled little rich girl like me ended up fraternizing with the help all summer long.

Pacey: Yeah, I do seem to recall a lot of fraternizing.

Melanie: I'm glad you're going back out there, Pacey.

Pacey: How come?

Melanie: You were so sad when we got back, so restless, the proverbial fish out of water. I felt bad for you.

Pacey: You felt bad. I don't know. I think I've actually done pretty ok for myself.

[he hands her the drink]

Melanie: Thanks. That's how I like to think of you-- on a boat, a fantastic tan under a Hawaiian shirt, a margarita in one hand and... in the other hand? I don't know. In the general vicinity of me, maybe?

Pacey: [Chuckles] That pretty much sounds like the greatest Jimmy Buffett song never written. So what about you?

Melanie: What about me?

Pacey: Well, don't you ever dream of gettin' away from it all? Just hoppin' on a sailboat and never lookin' back?

Melanie: Yeah, I do. All the time. [Sighs] But I won't. I know it. I've got this life here. I've got school, friends. I guess I'm sort of puttin' down roots, you know?

Pacey: Yeah.

Melanie: But I'll tell you right now, Pacey, when I am old and gray, last summer is one of those things that will make me smile time and time again.

Pacey: Yeah, me, too. So tell me about this guy, the one that it didn't work out with.

Melanie: How 'bout I don't and we do this instead?

[she puts her drink down and pulls him in for a huge kiss]

[Scene: Pacey's boat. The next morning. Melanie is finishing getting dresses as Pacey comes out of the bathroom.]

Melanie: Morning.

Pacey: You goin' somewhere?

Melanie: Yep, con law. You wanna come?

Pacey: No... but if you hold on I'll walk you out. There's this great little bagel stop—

Melanie: no--no--no, I'm already late.

Pacey: How do you do that?

Melanie: What?

Pacey: You look so beautiful in the morning. I mean, I don't even think there's soap in my shower.

Melanie: Well, I've gotten used to roughing it with you. You know, last night was pretty great.

Pacey: Mmm, that's an understatement. You know, you make a man want to stay on shore for a while.

Melanie: Oh, and ruin my perfect sailor-boy fantasy?

Pacey: It was good seeing you, Mel.

Melanie: You, too. Have fun out there, ok?

Pacey: I will.

Melanie: Promise you'll call next time you wash up in Boston harbor?

Pacey: Yeah, I promise.

Melanie: Bye, pace.

[Scene: Grams' House. The bathroom, and Dawson comes in there and notices 2 toothbrushes in the holder on the sink, when Jen comes in behind him.]

Jen: It's a soft-bristled number 60, right?

Dawson: You noticed.

Jen: Could you please not leave those dried-up clumps of shaving cream in the sink?

Dawson: I can do that.

Jen: You know why I wear makeup?

Dawson: Acquiescence to images presented in a male-dominated media?

Jen: [Laughs] Yes... my little feminist boyfriend, that's--that's very correct. When I was a little girl I learned that I should hide and I should cover myself up and that that was protection. You know how weird it is to live with somebody, to be with somebody who no matter what you do can always really see you? It's a little scary.

Dawson: Mm-hmm, it's a lot scary. Does it help if I remind you how much I like what I see?

Jen: Yeah. It does.

Dawson: Thank you for my new toothbrush.

Jen: Dawson... good morning.

Dawson: Good morning.

[They Kiss.]

[Scene: The school dorms. Joey goes up a door, but stops before knocking. She turns around, but stops again, and turn back to knock on the door, but it opens before she gets the chance to change her minds again. Elliot comes out of the door, a little surprised to see her.]

Elliot: Hi.

Joey: Uh, hi.

Elliot: A-are you lost or something?

Joey: Yeah, you know, all these dorms look alike. I, um, I live over in—

Elliot: yeah, I--I know.

Joey: I guess, I just-- I--I wanted to say something.

Elliot: Ok.

Joey: Well, it's funny. Um, that night, that night that we met, um, it's sort of taken on this totally mythic significance that it really shouldn't have. I mean, a lot of weird things did happen, but a lot of other weird things didn't. Yeah, I--I was-- I was waiting on a friend... kind of, um... but that doesn't mean that I don't want to make new friends, so I guess I was thinking maybe we could start over. I--I mean... completely over.

Elliot: Look, I never slept with your roommate. That is what this is about, right?

Joey: Yeah, uh... basically. So do you want to go get some coffee or something?

Elliot: I've got a class.

Joey: Oh--oh.

Elliot: Not really. I just wanted to see if, uh, you'd be disappointed.

[they turn and walk down the hall together]

Joey: So that whole thing that happened the other day in Wilder's class, that was really embarrassing.

Elliot: Yeah, I know. It took a lot of work to make it come out that way.

[Scene: The frat common room. Blossom and Eric are sitting together reading, when jack comes over and throws his keys on the table in front of them.]

Blossom: What's that?

Jack: Your keys. I don't think I should stay here.

Blossom: Ohh, come on, dude. Uh, don't do this.

Jack: Look, I'm not quitting the fraternity, all right? I just don't think I should live here, not under these circumstances. See you guys later.

[He walks outside, and Eric comes out after him]

Eric: Hey, jack. Jack.

Jack: What?

Eric: Listen, man, uh... look, I'm--I'm really sorry. You know, I-- no, man, you're sorry. Now, that--that—

Jack: you don't want the whole world thinking you're gay. I understand.

Eric: Jack, look... the last thing I want you to do is leave, ok? Look, if you still want to room with me I'm really cool with that.

[Eric holds out a set of keys]

Jack: You sure about that?

Eric: Yeah. I mean, this whole thing has-- it's been a real eye-opener for me.

[Jack takes the keys]

Jack: Let me think about it, ok?

Eric: All right. You know where to find me.

Jack: Right.

Eric: Bye.

Jack: [Sighs]

[Scene: Pacey's Boat. Pacey is packing up some bags, when Audrey comes into his boat to join him.]

Audrey: Howdy, sailor.

Pacey: Hey, Audrey.

Audrey: How was your, uh, dangerous liaison, the well-bred blonde? Good in the sack?

Pacey: You really want to know?

Audrey: Eww, no, gross. I was just being a pain in the ass.

Pacey: And a fantastic one at that.

Audrey: Hey, are we gonna have to take this outside, Witter?

Pacey: No, we're not, because you would wipe the deck with me, and that would interfere with my packing.

Audrey: Hmm. Pacey.

Pacey: Yes.

Audrey: Really. Come outside for a second.

[they go out onto the deck of the boat to see everyone is out there.]

Joey: [Sighs] So when were you planning on telling us you were leaving?

[Laughs] Thank you so much, Audrey.

Audrey: You never told me it was a secret.

Pacey: Well, I never told you that it wasn't, either.

Audrey: Oh, whatever. I don't have time for semantics, Pacey.

Pacey: Here's the deal, guys.

Jack: Look, pace, we're not here to talk you into staying if that's what you're worried about, ok?

Joey: Um, no, actually, that's not-- besides, we thought we were only gonna have you for a limited time anyway. And, to make a long story short, we're happy for you, pace. We know that this opportunity means so much to you, and so we got you this. It's just a little something to remind you of your friends back in Boston.

[She hands him a wooden box and he opens it to find a beautiful sextant inside.]

Pacey: Mmm. That's beautiful.

Jack: It was Dawson's idea. In case you get lost out there.

Pacey: Thank you. This is a truly beautiful sextant, but I can't accept it.

Joey: Yes, you can.

Pacey: [Pacey laughs] No--no, I actually can't, because... I'm not going anywhere.

Joey: You're not?

Pacey: No. I'm staying right here.

Dawson: Why? Not that we're complaining or anything.

Jen: Right, yeah, what he said, but why?

Pacey: Well, because... Boston ain't half bad, and for the first time in my life, I don't really feel like I have anything to run from. And because I don't think civilization will survive without me.

Audrey: Let's not forget the fact that you want me.

Pacey: Well, that goes without saying.

Jen: This is good.

Dawson: This is good.

Pacey: Yeah, this is very good. I'm happy about it, but unfortunately, now I find myself without a place to live.

Jack: You know, there's always room for one more at grams' house.

Pacey: [Laughs] Thank you, but no thank you.

Audrey: Well, face it, pace. You're stuck with us.

Pacey: Ah, yes, I am-- the van de brigands.


Pacey: Stuck, but here I am.

All: Yay!

Dawson: Did you already have one of these?

Pacey: Yeah, it's down below, and, uh, frankly, I know how much these cost,

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