Episode 608 - Spiderwebs

In this episode: Dawson comes through with No Doubt concert tickets for everyone, but the night doesn't go as smoothly as hoped when Dawson and Natasha's first public date ends in a brush with the law. Meanwhile, Joey and Eddie have to sneak into the concert when she accidentally leaves the tickets at home. Jen invites C.J., but he and Pacey come to blows at the concert when it is revealed that C.J. slept with Audrey.

Original Airdate: November 13, 2002

[Scene: Hell's Kitchen. Dawson is sitting at a table with Jen, Jack and David. They are all drinking colas while waiting for food to arrive.]

Dawson: So let me get this straight, Pacey and Audrey broke up, but Joey and Audrey are fighting.

Jen: Yes, majorly. Dawson, you've got to call more often.

Jack: Hold on a second, ok? A: The guy has obviously been really busy, ok? And B: I mean... she's--she's-- she's exaggerating, 'cause nobody's broken any nails yet.

David: It's more like they're keeping their distance from each other.

Dawson: Thank you.

David: No problem.

Jen: You know, I'm sure that if we could get them in the same room, they would work things out just fine.

Dawson: Joey and Audrey?

Jen: No, Pacey and Audrey. Duh.

[Emma comes up to the table carrying a tray full of food. Goes to hand the food out.]

Emma: Here we go.

Jen: Uh, no—

[Gives the burger to David that she almost gave to Jen]

Emma: Sorry about that. What about you, love? [To Dawson] Can I get you anything?

Dawson: Uh, no, thanks. I can't stay that long.

[Emma looks a little disappointed, then leaves them]

Jack: Oh. Oh, yeah, let me guess. Uh... she's not working tonight, if that's what you're asking.

Jen: Yeah, why don't you stay and have a cheeseburger? Come on, Dawson, we never get to see you anymore.

Dawson: Really, I have to go.

Jen: Dawson.

Dawson: I can't, I swear. I got to get back. Todd thinks I'm running an errand right now, which, technically... I am.

[He pulls an envelope out of his pocket and hands it to Jen]

Jen: What is this?

Dawson: It's a present.

Jen: Oh, you feel so bad 'cause you don't call, you got to give us presents.

Dawson: Just open it. It's not a guilt offering. I'd use it myself if I could.

[She opens it and pulls out a bunch of concert tickets]

Jen: Oh, my god! These are tickets to the No Doubt concert. Dawson, this is amazing. There's like 10 tickets in here. Are you sure that this is ok?

Dawson: Absolutely. Todd got them for free. I think he knows the band or something.

Jack: You know what? Why don't you just, uh—Don't give the man a chance to change his mind there, all right?

Dawson: Anyway, go, enjoy it. Have fun. And, uh, let me know what happens once you get Pacey and Audrey in the same place at the same time.

Jen: Thank you so much.

Jack: Thanks, man.

[Dawson goes to leave and runs into Joey who is just arriving to the bar.]

Dawson: Hey.

Joey: Hey.

Dawson: I'm sorry. I was just, uh—

Joey: Oh, don't apologize. Um...are they—

Dawson: yeah, they're back there. Jack and Jen...

Joey: Oh, good. I was hoping for some company. How have you been?

Dawson: Great. Really great. I've been busy.

Joey: Great.

Dawson: Heard you and Audrey had a fight.

Joey: Yeah... those things happen, I guess. People fight.

Dawson: Yeah. All right, well, I don't want to keep you.

Joey: Dawson, they're your friends, too.

Dawson: Yeah, I know. I just--I got to go.

Joey: It's nice seeing you.

Dawson: You, too.

[He leaves and she looks a little disappointed that he left.]

[Opening Credits]

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: Hell's Kitchen. Joey and Eddie are sitting at the table talking to each other. Joey is trying to convince hi to drive them to the concert.]

Eddie: No Doubt?

Joey: Yeah. Look, I know it's kind of a schlep to Worcester, but they're totally amazing live, and you do have a car.

Eddie: Worcester?

Joey: Yeah, it's only like an hour from here.

Eddie: I know, I know. So on our date tonight, you want me to drive you to Worcester?

Joey: Correct.

Eddie: And when we get there, all your friends will be there.

Joey: Well, not all of them... ok, most.

Eddie: So how is that a date?

Joey: What makes it a date is that I'm there... and you're there. And if you play your cards right, you might just get a kiss at the end of the evening.

Eddie: A kiss?

Joey: Yeah, that's usually how the whole first-date thing traditionally shakes out. You know, you walk me to my door, you kiss me, you leave.

Eddie: But I've already gotten a kiss. 2, actually. And I don't know that I'm prepared to drive all the way to Worcester for, what? For the possibility of some measly little good-night kiss?

Joey: There is another option on offer for the end of the evening.

Eddie: Yes?

Joey: You walk me to my door… we shake hands… and I reimburse you for gas money.

Eddie: Nice.

Joey: So are you in or out?

Eddie: I'm in.

[Scene: The Movie Set. Todd and Dawson are walking together along the set, while Dawson is trying to point out that they are not doing anything. ]

Todd: Is it just me, or, uh, is there something weird about this day?

Dawson: Um, the fact that we finished all our day work before lunch, and now we're just paying all these people to stand around doing nothing until the sun sets?

Todd: Oh, there isn't someplace you'd rather be, is there?

Dawson: No, but look around. Everybody's exhausted, including yourself. All these night shoots have finally caught up with us.

Todd: Oh, I see. So you're saying I should give up 2 night exteriors I really need so the crew can knock off 4 hours early on a Friday?

Dawson: 4 hours, 35 minutes, would be even better.

Todd: There's a bloody pool going?

Dawson: Big one. Think about it. I mean, honestly, you wrap early tonight, everybody comes in Monday completely refreshed.

Todd: Everyone, including you?

Dawson: Sure.

Todd: And Natasha?

Dawson: Sure.

Todd: I get it. So all this friend-to-the-crew stuff was just an excuse to get the night off so you could take her to that concert?

Dawson: I'll split the money with you.

Todd: [Laughs] Not necessary.

Dawson: I already won 500 in the when-will- Dawson-and-Natasha-start- shagging-again pool.

[Todd pulls an envelope out of coat pocket and hands it to Dawson]

Todd: Here.

Dawson: What are these?

Todd: My tickets. They're much better than the ones I gave you. And I think there's some backstage pass in there, too.

Dawson: You don't want to go?

Todd: Between you and me? I'm old... and tired, and if we're going to wrap 4 hours and 35 minutes early, all I want to do is go home and get some sleep. Go get 'em, tiger.

[Scene: Record Store. Jen and Audrey are shopping for some CD's and Audrey grabs a copy of the New No Doubt Album “Rock Steady”]

Jen: So, you're coming, right? I mean, if the band can overcome their complicated romantic entanglements and still be friends, the least that we can do is all get along for one night.

Audrey: All right, I am willing to grant that there is a certain karmic appropriateness to seeing one's ex-boyfriend for the first time at a No Doubt concert.

Jen: You're bending.

Audrey: I'm not bending.

Jen: Oh, come on, you know you want to. Empowered female. Incredible fashion sense.

Audrey: I suppose mojo jojo will be attending.

Jen: Oh, come on, if you can-- if you can be with her in that tiny little dorm room of yours, you're going to be just fine in a crowd of 14,000 strangers.

Audrey: So she's bringing that guy, right?

Jen: Mm-hmm, but we don't have to sit next to them. We're using the gays as a barrier between the breeders and the bitter, single girls.

Audrey: So, what? Are they, like, dating now?

Jen: Look at you. You want the gossip so bad it's killing you.

Audrey: I don't want the gossip. I just...I don't know-- I want to hear that she has a pimple or something. I want there to be one tiny little chink in her armor of perfection. I mean, has that girl ever made a mistake? Ever?

Jen: Yeah, actually, the same one that you did. She dumped Pacey.

Audrey: That's funny. You know, the way I always heard it, he dumped her.

Jen: Oh, whatever. Who knows? Who cares? Honestly, the important thing is is that they're still friends... like us.

Audrey: Do you mean that?

Jen: Yes, I do.

Audrey: [Sighs]

Jen: So you coming?

Audrey: I'm coming.

Jen: Yay! I'm so glad. You are not going to regret this. We are going to have an incredible night.

[She walks backwards while Audrey is heading to the counter to pay, when she backs right into a guy who turns out to be CJ.]

Jen: Oh, my god. I am so sorry. Hi.

CJ: Hi. Hi.

Audrey: Hi.

[Audrey walks purposely away from him to the counter]

Jen: Hey. I'm sorry, I was just... not looking where I was going.

CJ: Yeah, you seemed pretty excited there.

Jen: Yeah, well, we're actually going to a No Doubt concert tonight.

CJ: Cool. Well, have fun. Well, see 'ya.

[He turns back to looking in the stacks for music]

Jen: Look, I don't want to pretend that nothing happened between us, and... and I also don't want to make a big deal out of the... nothing that did happen between us. Um... here, if you want to come.

CJ: You're giving me a ticket to the No Doubt concert?

Jen: Yeah, I mean, Jack's going, and David, and all of us, really, so it's--it's not like a date.

[He looks over at Audrey, who just turns her gaze from him]

CJ: No, I didn't think it was.

Jen: Great. Great. Well, um... like I said, come if you want. [To Audrey] All right, I'm picking you up at 7:00. No bailing, ok?

[Jen leaves, and CJ goes over to talk to Audrey]

CJ: So, were you ever going to call me back?

Audrey: I think that the answer to that would be fairly obvious.

[She storms out of the record store and he chases after her]

CJ: You know, we didn't do anything wrong.

Audrey: No, of course not. We were great, you know? And we'll probably win some sort of award for moral fortitude and the proper use of birth control.

CJ: I don't see what the big deal is here. It's not like she's my girlfriend, ok?

Audrey: Yeah? Well, neither am I. I'm just... I'm an idiot.

CJ: Oh, so, what? You're just going to pretend like nothing ever happened?

Audrey: Yes, and unless you want me to kill you, you will, too.

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: The No Doubt Concert. Joey and Eddie are waiting in line to get in, and they notice a couple who are all cuddly in line.]

Guy: Tickets.

Joey: Disgusting, isn't it? When people can't keep their hands off each other?

[Eddie was just about o put his arms around Joey, but quickly puts them down at his side.]

Joey: Yeah. Just, uh, yeah.

Guy: Tickets. Tickets, please.

Joey: I have them. I do. I must have them.

Guy: That's what they all say.

Joey: No. I was leaving, I put them in my coat pocket, and... I wore my other coat.

Guy: A fashion tragedy. Next.

Joey: Crap!

Guy: Tickets.

Eddie: Ok, but are you sure you didn't leave them in the car or something?

Joey: Yes, I'm positive. They're... they're in my other coat, which is sitting on my bed back in my dorm room.

Eddie: Well, don't panic or anything. We'll just go back for them.

Joey: You're volunteering to drive more?

Eddie: Hey, you're paying for gas.

Joey: No, it'll take us an hour just to walk back to the car.

Eddie: So?

Joey: So with that, plus traffic, they'll be on their third encore by the time we get back.

Eddie: What do you want to do? You just want to forget about this whole thing?

Joey: No. I don't know.

Eddie: Look, you really want to go to this concert, don't you?

Joey: Yes. I'm a dorky fan, I admit it, but I love this band.

Eddie: Then we're going.

Joey: Eddie, it's going to take us—

Eddie: Silence... before I come to my senses and change my mind. Come on.

[Scene: The No Doubt Concert. In another line, Dawson and Natasha are kissing and necking while waiting for their turn, but the line is moving forward without them.]

Woman: Are you guys going or what?

Natasha: Sorry. So tacky when people can't keep their hands off each other in public.

Dawson: Sorry.

Lady: Tickets, please.

Dawson: Here you go.

Lady: Wrong night, Romeo.

Dawson: Excuse me?

Lady: These are for Saturday.

Dawson: No, they can't be. These are--crap.

Lady: Good seats, too. Really would have impressed your girlfriend here. Next!

Dawson: I can't believe I did this. This is--I-- I should have known better than to trust Todd. The guy probably thinks today is Saturday.

Natasha: We still have the backstage passes though, don't we?

Dawson: Yeah, but we can't get in with those. We need the tickets.

Natasha: Uh, hold on. Humor me. I have special skills in that department.

[Scene: The No Doubt Concert. Jen and Pacey are walking away from the Refreshments stand and heading towards their seats.]

Jen: You're not going to regret this, I swear. You're here, you're not in a suit. This is good. This is very, very good. Where is everybody else?

Pacey: There at the concession stand. Jack and Emma, and, uh... the guy and the guy's friend.

Jen: Yeah, well, his name is David, which you might want to remember. I think he's going to stick.

Pacey: What, you posses the psychic ability to see into the future of relationships now?

Jen: Yes, just not my own.

Pacey: Ah. So where are these seats anyway? Is that where we're going now?

Jen: Yeah. They're-- they're that way. I mean, they're in that general direction.

Pacey: Cool.

Jen: Ok, um... and when you go in that general direction...

Pacey: Yes?

Jen: There's--there's going to be somebody there who wants to talk to you.

Pacey: Oh, come on. You did not just do this to me.

Jen: Yeah, we did, but out of love. Trust me, when you look back on this event in a few years, you're going to be very grateful, because you will have done the mature thing.

Pacey: [Sighs]

Jen: Come on. Go. You know you want to.

[Cut to their Seats. Pacey walks over and notices Audrey already sitting there, and makes his way towards the seats.]

Pacey: Excuse me.

Audrey: Surprise.

Pacey: Hey. I did call you, you know.

Audrey: I know. At least I figured that I shouldn't talk to you until I hated you a little less.

Pacey: Oh, well... how's that going for you?

Audrey: It's going, yeah. The problem is now I kind of hate myself, but, uh...

Pacey: Audrey, can we go talk a walk? Maybe talk someplace that's a little quieter and slightly more private before all the madness starts?

Audrey: [Chuckles] You really are an old man, aren't you? Sure.

[He nods]

Audrey: Ok.

[They get up and leave]

Pacey: Excuse us.

[Scene: Outside the back door of the stadium. Joey and Eddie are at the back door, and Eddie is trying to talk to the guy who is there.]

Eddie: Look, I'm telling you, I'm not trying to sneak backstage, ok? I'm not some kind of deranged fan. I just need to talk to someone who works here.

Man: Is it me?

Eddie: No, very funny, though.

Man: Good-bye.

Eddie: No, I just need to talk to someone for—

[The Guy slams the door on them.]

Joey: Just to let you know, we can stop this at any point.

Eddie: But it's going so well.

Joey: Oh, I can see that. Look, you don't have to harass some poor guy just to impress me. This whole thing is my fault, anyway.

Eddie: Believe me, if this works, you will not be impressed.

[Eddie notices some more people headed towards them]

Eddie: Hey, more people. This is good. Uh, this is good. I'm gonna go ask them—

Joey: Oh, no. No, you're not!

[Joey looks back and sees that it is Dawson and Natasha. She quickly grabs Eddie's arms and pulls him behind some boxes so Dawson can't see her.]

Natasha: Ok, this is totally gonna work, but you have to trust me. It'll work better if you pretend you're like my brother or something.

[Natasha unbuttons a few of the top buttons of her shirt to show more cleavage.]

Dawson: You did not just do that.

Natasha: Do you want to get into this thing or not?

Dawson: I'd be perfectly happy if we went right back to the car—

Natasha: Hey! It's our night off. We're going.

[She knocks on the door and the guy comes out and instantly notices Natasha and her cleavage.]

Natasha: Hi.

Man: Hi.

[Eddie turns to Joey trying to figure out why they are hiding.]

Eddie: Not that I care—

Joey: Shh! He'll see us.

Eddie: Who? That's the guy from the movie set.

Joey: Yes.

Eddie: And the guy from the movie set is the friend who gave you the tickets.

Joey: Yeah, kind of.

Eddie: And now we're hiding. Why?

Joey: I don't know. Gut instinct.

Eddie: This is ridiculous. Come on. Come on.

Joey: Just wait till—

Eddie: no, no, come on, come on!

[Eddie notices that they are no longer at the door, and the door is slowly closing and runs up to catch the door before it loses]

[Scene: Inside the back door. The guy is looking over the guest list with another guy, while Dawson and Natasha wait. Eddie and Joey sneak past them while they are checking out the list]

Guy: Yeah, if, uh... that's tonight's list, we should be on it.

Natasha: Carr, Todd Carr, damage, inc. Big video director. You know, you guys probably spelled his name with a "K."

Guy: As much as it pains me to tell you this, lady, if you're not the list, you're not on the list.

Natasha: Well, isn't there some other list?

Guy: Not tonight there's not.

Natasha: Oh, well, maybe they messed up and put us on tomorrow's list. I mean, that could happen, that's possible right? I mean, why else would we have these backstage passes?

Guy: Not my problem.

Natasha: Well--ugh! Can't we work this out?

Guy: Afraid not.

[He pushes them both out the door.]

[Scene: The No Doubt Concert. Jen and CJ are walking together to the Refreshments stand.]

CJ: I didn't know Audrey was involved with anybody.

Jen: Well, they just broke up, which is why I think she's been so crazy recently. I think that she's just having a hard time dealing.

CJ: Yeah, things like that can be tough. You want anything?

Jen: No, I'm fine.

CJ: Just one coke, thanks. You know, to be honest, she seemed kind of single to me.

Jen: Why, cause of that night at that party?

CJ: Yeah, that, and other things.

Jen: You know, she just got confused. It happens to the best of us.

CJ: Yeah, it does.

Jen: You know, for two people who aren't seeing each other, we end up alone an awful lot of the time.

CJ: Yeah, you know, I've been thinking maybe we should talk about that.

Jen: No, I don't-- I don't think that that is necessary.

CJ: No, 'cause I feel bad, and I don't want to end up feeling worse. I mean, obviously, you have the wrong impression of me.

Jen: No. No, I mean, there was no room for ambiguity when you refused to kiss me, so—

CJ: Ok, ok, hold on. I don't want you to think that I'm playing games with you or something.

Jen: Because you're not?

CJ: No, I'm not. I'm actually... interested in somebody else.

Jen: Oh. I see, so, all that stuff about not being ready to date... just applied to me.

CJ: No, Jen, I meant all that. I did. I'm not ready to be serious with somebody. This other girl... kind of took me by surprise. It just kind of happened. I mean, we were at the wrong place at the wrong time, things escalated.

Jen: Did you sleep with this girl? [he just has a weird look on his face ] Wow, so, sleeping with people doesn't violate your moral code, but dating them does.

CJ: Jen, let me explain something to you—

Jen: No, you have. Really well, too. And for future reference, when things escalate with a girl, that generally means that she's interested in you.

CJ: Yeah, except when she's kind of messed up, already has a boyfriend. Jen, I think you're great. I think you're a great person. You're obviously a very good friend to Audrey, to everybody.

Jen: What... what does Audrey have... oh, my god. It was Audrey. You slept with Audrey.

CJ: It's not what you think, all right, she-- I messed up.

[Scene: The No Doubt Concert. Pacey and Audrey are returning from getting a concert T-Shirt.]

Audrey: So, thank you for the t-shirt.

Pacey: Well, it is the least I can do for acting like a swine.

Audrey: You weren't a swine. You were just... a guy.

Pacey: I'd like to think that I get graded on a different curve than that. Perhaps the human being one.

Audrey: It's not your responsibility to make me happy, Pacey. It's mine.

Pacey: Well, let's be honest. You haven't been doing such a bang-up job of that lately, Audrey.

Audrey: I miss you, ok?

Pacey: I miss you, too.

[He hugs her]

Pacey: And honestly, I don't know how much more of this being down on yourself stuff I can take.

Audrey: Yeah, well, what are you gonna do about it?

Pacey: I'm just gonna have to make you feel better, aren't I? By force, if necessary.

[he starts tickling her]

Audrey: Aah! Pacey, no rough-housing in public!

Pacey: Who's the old man now, huh?

Audrey: Seriously, we might be lost. I think we should've left like a trail of popcorn or something.

Pacey: We can't be lost. It's an arena. Speaking of, there's Jen. Jen!

Audrey: Jen!

Jen: Hey.

Pacey: So, is it starting?

Jen: Yeah, almost.

Pacey: Well, excellent. Let's get in there, because I personally do not want to miss a single solitary second of...

Audrey: No Doubt. It's on the t-shirt.

Pacey: Right. No Doubt it is. So, let's go.

Jen: You know, would you mind going in ahead, and Audrey and I are just gonna have a little chat?

Pacey: Yeah, absolutely. Girl time. I'll see you in there.

[Pacey leaves them alone]

Audrey: What?

Jen: I just wanted to tell you that I know about what happened with you and C.J.

Audrey: Jen... I didn't know that you liked him so much. Like, I thought that you did, but I—

Jen: I don't want to talk about this. I just wanted to let you know that I know.

[Jen begins walking away]

Audrey: Jen, no, seriously, wait. Let's--let's do talk about it. I don't know, yell at me, do something, just-- I deserve it. It was a mistake. I'm sorry. It was a big mistake.

Jen: Yeah, it was a mistake.

Audrey: So, then yell at me.

Jen: I don't want to yell at you. I don't have it in me to yell at you. You know, I've been holding back lately because I actually had some sympathy for you. I thought, "Audrey-- she's just confused. She's just messed up," but you're not. You're just sad.

[Scene: The No Doubt Concert. The band has begun playing and we see the crowd is packed. We cut to the back rooms of the Stadium, in an area that looks like the heating rooms. Eddie and Joey are walking back there, and they can hear that the concert has already begun.]

[Band playing Hella Good]

Joey: Wouldn't now be a good time to admit that we're lost?

Eddie: We're not lost.

Joey: Eddie, we seem to be moving away from the music.

Eddie: Oh, so what you're saying is you don't trust me.

Joey: Well, is there a reason I should? Have you done anything to demonstrate that you're in the least trustworthy?

Eddie: Wow. Trust issues. I guess we are learning a few things about each other tonight, huh?

Joey: You mean you're learning things about me.

Eddie: Ok, wait here.

Joey: Oh, no, you're not leaving me alone in this place. I'm pretty sure Freddy Krueger's second home is right around the corner.

Eddie: 2 seconds, ok? 2 seconds, I swear. I'm sorry, Jo, but you're just gonna have to trust me on this one.

Joey: Fine.

[He goes into a room and Joey follows him and looks through the door and sees him talking to some guy. When she notices him turn towards the door she quickly goes back to where she was before.]

Eddie: Ok. We're all set.

Joey: So you gonna tell me what's going on now?

[The man that Eddie was talking to comes out.]

Father: Ok, you kids ready to go?

Eddie: Uh, yeah. Joey, this is my dad. Dad, Joey.

Father: Yeah. It's-- it's nice to meet you.

Joey: You, too.

[Eddie's Father goes to lead them on, and Joey has a huge smile on her face as the follow him]

Eddie: What?

Joey: Nothing.

[Scene: Outside the No Doubt Concert. Dawson and Natasha are standing outside waiting for someone trying to sell tickets.]

Natasha: So how does this whole scalping thing work exactly?

Dawson: I don't know. I figured if I stood here long enough with $600 in my hand, somebody would come up to us and mutter "tickets" under their breath.

Natasha: Heh! Well, I'm cold. Where'd you get all that cash, anyway?

Dawson: What, just because I'm a glorified P.A., You think I can't afford to take my girlfriend to town every once in a while?

Natasha: Oh, my god. You won the pool, didn't you?

Dawson: Well...

Natasha: No, wait. You fixed the pool. You're a lot craftier than people give you credit for. You know, I'm starting to think you had the right idea when you suggested bailing on this event.

Dawson: Are you making me an offer I can't refuse, or are you just cold?

Natasha: Um, both. Plus, dating's for shmucks, and what we're doing is much more fun.

Dawson: What, sneaking around at work?

Natasha: I thought you liked sneaking around at work.

Dawson: Oh, I do, but we're not fooling anybody.

Natasha: Sure we are. We're fooling ourselves, which is what makes it all so incredibly dangerous. And sexy. And fun.

[they begins kissing and making out on the hood of a car, when a horse cop stops behind them.]

[Horse neighs]

Natasha: Oh, my god, it's black beauty. Hey, boy!

Cop: You kids have any reason to be here, other than the obvious one?

Dawson: Uh, no, sir. Well, yeah, actually, we do. We thought we had-- well, we did have tickets but—

Cop: But you sold them?

Dawson: No, we didn't-- we didn't sell them. It turned--they were for tomorrow, but we got the dates messed up.

Cop: And that explains why you're carrying such a large amount of cash on you?

Dawson: Excuse me?

Cop: You have several hundred dollars there, son.

Dawson: No--yeah, I do, but it's-- it's not for that, it's for the—

Natasha: Me. It's for me. He was trying to short me, and I told him, "no way. "No way am I gonna do you in this parking lot for a penny less than $600."

Cop: What's this, some kind of game to you, miss?

Dawson: No, it's not. That's not what she-- look, I can-- I can explain this, really, I can.

Cop: And you will at the station. [into his Walkie Talkie] I need a check-by in the southwest corner, over.

Dawson: You're arresting us?

Cop: No, I'm taking you with me. If she say one more word, I'm arresting you.

Natasha: Cool!

[A cop car pulls up]

Natasha: Let's go. [Child-like voice] Bye, horsey! [She grabs Dawson] Come here.

[Scene: The No Doubt Concert. The Band is playing their second song to the crowd. Everyone is up and jumping to the music. Cut to outside the seating area. Audrey comes out of the bathroom to find CJ waiting for her.]

[Band playing Underneath It All]

Audrey: Go away!

CJ: I need to talk to you.

Audrey: Well, I don't want to talk to you. Don't you get that? It was a mistake, a gigantic mistake.

CJ: Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?

Audrey: Just leave him out of this, ok?

CJ: No, come here, come here.

Audrey: C.J.

CJ: Come here.

Audrey: C.J., Stop!

CJ: Yeah, well, he's in this, whether you like it or not.

Audrey: Well, you know what? He's not! He has nothing to do with it.

CJ: Ok, and the reason you came home with me the other night is because you're so overwhelmingly happy with him.

Audrey: Ugh!

CJ: I'm sorry. I'm not trying to mess with your head here. I just--I like you, Audrey, and you're the only reason I came here tonight.

Audrey: Well, then I guess that was your first mistake.

CJ: I know things are complicated, but you gotta understand that I haven't felt like toward someone in a long time.

Audrey: No, it's been a long time since you had sex, and you're incredibly grateful because you're incredibly messed up, which should've been obvious from the second Jen met you, because generally, people who are into helping other people are about 10,000 times more messed up than the people they're helping.

CJ: You know what? You're probably right. But that doesn't change the fact that I like you.

Audrey: You have got to stop this. I am sure that under there somewhere there is a nice guy, and you are obviously just trying to help me out, but what happened between us, it's just-- it's the way that the world works, ok? Pretty much all the time, girls run around and feel bad about themselves. They're either too weak or too stupid to go home alone. So, sometimes guys just win the lottery. That's it. It doesn't mean anything.

[Pacey comes out to find Audrey]

Pacey: Hey, you've been gone a year. What's going on?

Audrey: Nothing. I'm sorry.

Pacey: You guys--you guys having a problem out here?

Audrey: No. We barely know each other.

CJ: Yeah, right.

Pacey: Excuse me?

CJ: Nothing. I just think if you took care of your girlfriend a little bit better—

Pacey: If I did what?

Audrey: Nothing. He said nothing. Go away, C.J.

CJ: You really want me to leave you alone with this guy that makes you so miserable?

Audrey: Yes. Now.

Pacey: Is this a joke? Did he really just say that to me?

Audrey: C.J., Please, if what you said was true about me, about the other night, then you will just leave, walk away.

Pacey: Wait. What about the other night?

CJ: And if I don't?

Audrey: C.J., Leave, now!

CJ: You really think you're gonna be happier with him than you obviously were with me?

[Pacey decks CJ, and they get into a fight]

Audrey: You guys!

[Security comes and pulls them apart.]

Security: Come on, break it up, break it up. Come on, break it up.

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: The No Doubt Concert. The band is playing another song, while the crowd is screaming along to the music. Joey and Eddie are watching the Show from high up above the stage.]

[Band playing Magic's in the Makeup]

Joey: You're dad seems nice.

Eddie: He said four words to you, and he thinks your name is Josie.

Joey: I don't mind.

Eddie: He is...nice. You know, he works hard, puts food on the table, doesn't cheat on my mom, solid, steady, always around.

Joey: Sounds more like the second coming.

Eddie: Yeah. Yeah, he's just not too big on the encouragement front. Not real into higher education.

Joey: And that explains why you didn't go to college.

Eddie: Oh, I went to college.

Joey: You did? Yeah.

Eddie: Yeah, one semester. Dropped out. Things have to happen to you at the exact right time in your life, or they're meaningless.

Joey: Meaningless?

Eddie: Yeah. Like this. Like right now. I mean, this could've happened yesterday and been meaningless. But it's not, is it?

Joey: No, it isn't.

[Eddie and Joey intertwine their fingers]

[Scene: Outside the No Doubt Concert. Emma and Pacey are in the parking lot alone. Emma is sitting on the bumper of a car, while Pacey is frantically pacing back and forth]

Emma: You just had to get us kicked out, didn't you? Couldn't possibly have waited till after the acoustical set?

Pacey: Feel free to go back any time, because you're really not needed here.

Emma: Well, I did figure I might decrease the odds of another one in your group either having sex or possibly beating each other to a pulp.

Pacey: You don't think I had the right to punch that guy?

Emma: She's not your girlfriend anymore, mate! Not that it would make it ok even if she were.

Pacey: He took advantage of her! He saw that she was messed up and he preyed on her, which in my books makes him one notch below pond scum.

Emma: Right, right, must be that, because women are such helpless idiots they couldn't possibly make an informed decision about who they sleep with, could they?

Pacey: I know Audrey. This is not her. I cannot believe she would sleep with that guy.

Emma: Is it so difficult for you just to admit that she hurt you? Or that you might feel a little guilty about the way things ended, or that possibly, despite all your protestations to the contrary, that you still want to save this girl?

Pacey: Of course, it's difficult. It just is.

[Scene: the No Doubt Concert. The parking garage. Jen is putting a bag of ice on Eddie's swollen cheek.]

Jen: Would you quit squirming? You're lucky I'm even talking to you right now.

CJ: This is bringing you a great deal of satisfaction, isn't it?

Jen: No, actually, it's not.

CJ: You're not thinking to yourself right now that I deserve this?

Jen: No. You and Audrey are both adults, and I am not gonna sit here and apply some ridiculous double standard to the situation, just because my feelings got a little bit hurt.

CJ: I'm sorry about that. I wish that hadn't happened.

Jen: Yeah, I know. You know, all that stuff that you've been saying is finally starting to sink in, all that stuff that you've been telling me about yourself, and I guess that if it's true, then it probably really sucks to be you right now because no matter how nominally together you think you are, if your fondest desire is to start hanging out with Audrey, then chances are, it's not gonna stay that way. And you know what? If I ever got it into my head to do what you do, you know, to help people, I would be a hell of a lot better at it than you are.

[Scene: Outside the No Doubt Concert. Elsewhere in the Parking garage. Jack and David are walking together talking about the night.]

Jack: So you really don't mind taking Audrey home?

David: Well, sure, I mind, but, you know, my inner drama queen respects her refusal to come out of the bathroom till Jen and Pacey leave.

Jack: Heh heh heh! Thanks, man. I just don't want to ditch Jen, you know. I mean, I don't think this evening turned out quite the way she planned.

David: Hmm. Yeah. I know the feeling.

Jack: So, we're, uh, not doing too well at this, are we?

David: Well, the hanging out has been good. But the dating? I think it's safe to say that when two gay guys go on a date, and each ends up going home with a hot blond girl, something's definitely not working.

Jack: Yeah.

[Scene: Outside the police station. Natasha and Dawson come outside and Natasha hops on Dawson's back for a piggyback ride.]

Natasha: Quick, make a break for it before he comes!

Dawson: I can't-- I can't--you are still not taking this seriously.

Natasha: We didn't get arrested. They just gave us a warning.

Dawson: They gave us one phone call.

Natasha: Ohh! They were having fun, like us. Oh, come on! This entire evening has been fun, from start to finish, and you know it.

Dawson: Yes, this has been fun. I'm starting to think you might be insane, but—

Natasha: but what? You haven't ever gone out with an insane person before?

Dawson: No, I have, just... not in a good way.

Natasha: Mmm.

[they begin kissing and Todd comes storming out of the police station]

Todd: Ok, shag wits, to the car! Let's go! Chop, bloody chop! Or am I gonna have to throw cold water on you both?

Dawson: I think he's mad.

Natasha: Real mad.

Todd: For the record, never let it be said that Todd Carr is a man who's not in love with being in love. I think both my movies and my life reflect my deep and abiding commitment to getting two good-looking young people together and having a bit of fun now and again. However... as leery here bloody well knows...

Dawson: You're also a man who's in love with sleep.

Todd: To the car. Now.

Both: [Suppressing laughter]

Natasha: [Imitating Todd] To the car.

Both: Heh heh heh!

[Scene: The College Dorms. Eddie and Joey are walking up to the door of Joey's Dorm room.]

Eddie: So...this is it?

Joey: Yeah.

Eddie: Yeah.

Joey: Yeah.

Eddie: End of the night.

Joey: Yeah.

Eddie: Heh heh.

[He reaches his hand out for her. Think he wants to shake hands, she takes his hand and then he pulls her over to a bench outside her dorm room.

Eddie: So you never did tell me what yours is like.

Joey: My dad?

Eddie: Yeah. Well, come on. I showed you mine.

Joey: Mmph. Let's just call him the opposite and leave it at that.

Eddie: Opposite. As in not solid, not hard-working.

Joey: Um... he's a big fan of cheating on my mom. Um, he's definitely not the type to do some back-breaking job for 25 years when there's easy money to be made in the less law-abiding sectors of the economy.

Eddie: You make him sound like a criminal.

Joey: Well, that's what the district attorneys call him.

Eddie: Hmph.

Joey: I still think of him as dad.

Eddie: Wow. Well, you know, he must've done something right.

Joey: Why? 'Cause I turned out so well?

Eddie: What, you think being entombed in these hallowed halls equals turning out well?

Joey: Well, it's a start, isn't it?

Eddie: I'm gonna have to do more work on you than I thought.

Joey: You think there's something wrong with these hallowed halls?

Eddie: No. Not if you're here for the right reason.

Joey: Well, my dad... when he actually was around was very good on the encouragement part in that "dream-big, little-girl, you-can-be-anything you-want-to-be" sort of way.

Eddie: I see. And what is it you want to be, little girl?

Joey: Hmph! I don't know. Guess I'm a work in progress.

[They begins kissing]

Eddie: Good night.

Joey: Good night.

[Eddie gets up and leaves and Joey watches him go, and the camera fades to black.]