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  4x12 - The Groundhog Day
 Posted: 01/29/07 07:47
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At the shopping center

Taylor: Hello.

Kaitlin: Taylor, where are you? I thought you were going to come to dinner.

Taylor: Oh, uh... you should just go on without me. I haven't finished my errands yet.

Kaitlin: Wait, you've been gone all day.

Taylor: Well, I had to go to the dry cleaner and get my nails done and then go to the Matthew Barney exhibition.

Kaitlin: Oh, okay. Well, is Ryan with you?

Taylor: No, Kaitlin, I told you. We're giving each other some space. I haven't spoken to him in over a week.

Kaitlin: Okay, well then, I guess you're not going to Kirsten's thing.

Taylor: What thing?

Kaitlin: Her party. She's turning 40. I was kind of hoping that you were going to be there to do something weird,so it's not so boring. Wait, do you want to know where it is?

Taylor: No. Uh-uh. I don't. Uh... I have to go. Good-bye.

Cop: Excuse me, miss.

Taylor: Yes?

Cop: I'm afraid you're making some of the business owners around here a little nervous.

Taylor: Why? What are you talking about?

Cop: Well, you've been loitering here for the past seven hours.

Taylor: Loitering. What's loitering? I've been... just...

Cop: What are you doing with those binoculars?

Taylor: These... are for bird watching. Mm-hmm. There's a very interesting oriole in that tree right there.

Cop: I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Taylor: Okay, Ryan's off work in ten minutes. Can you just give me a... Ten minutes! You want a donut?

Cop: No.

At Roberts' - In the kitchen

Julie: Hey, Taylor's not joining us?

Kaitlin: Nope. Lucky her.

Julie: Sorry this isn't up to your standards, honey.

Kaitlin: I'm a little short on cash right now. So why'd you leave New Match?

Julie: Because Kirsten and I are better friends than business partners, okay? Could we just leave it at that? Excuse me.

Kaitlin: Five people in this house and I end up eating dinner by myself.

Julie: Hi. So we're still on for Friday, right? Well, I don't like sneaking around either, but we don't have much of a choice, do we? I know, I miss you, too. What? Oh, no, that's just Summer's boyfriend Che. Hold on, um, I'll go outside, okay?

At Roberts' - Summer's bedroom

Summer: Che, what are you doing?

Che: The I-Ching was devised by ancient Chinese mystics as a way to interpret the invisible current of the universe.

Summer: What are you trying to figure out?

Che: I had a dream, Summer...in which my soul mate was revealed to me.

Summer: That's great.

Che: It's great, but... it's complicated. I must be certain-- Dragon on a mountaintop.

Summer: That's interesting. Um... Che? Nothing against Chinese mystics, but, uh, if you want to find out if someone's your soul mate, why don't you just try spending time with them?

Che: You think that's what I should do?

Summer: Yeah. Why not? See if you have anything in common.

Che: Because the day after tomorrow is Groundhog Day and I'm planning a little black ops mission to free Newport Chuck.

Sumer: The groundhog?

Che: Yeah. You've heard of this travesty?

Summer: I've heard about the festival. They put him onstage with the mayor and if he sees his shadow, it means six more weeks of winter. Which is crazy considering we don't even have winter to begin with. But I think they treat him okay.

Che: No, 364 days a year, little duder is stuck in a cage. Now he gets to play circus freak for a day? No, that's absolutely criminal.

Summer: Just don't involve me 'cause that's how I got kicked out of Brown. You coming to dinner?

Che: No, go without me. Summer... besides getting you kicked out of college, you know I'd never do anything to hurt you.

Summer: Of course.

Che: I'll see you in a little bit. Tomorrow, brother. Tomorrow... we'll get this whole thing figured out. That, right there, is grasshopper at night.

At Cohen's

Sandy: Are you sure you don't want to come?

Kirsten: Watching a movie about a guy eating a live octopus? I think I'll pass.

Sandy: It's also got one of the greatest fight sequences in probably the last five years.

Ryan: Oh, yeah, that'll convince her.

Seth: Listen, Mom, what better way to see out your 30s than a little South Korean shock cinema?

Kirsten: So tempting. You're going to be late. You better go.

***

Kirsten: Oh, hi, it's Kirsten Cohen. I was wondering if Dr. Harris could see me; it's urgent.

***

Seth: Are you sure it's all right to leave her? She seems a little down.

Sandy: Oh, she's turning 40. Even for a woman as beautiful as your mother, that's not easy.

Ryan: Well, maybe we should stay.

Sandy: No, trust me. Right now, all she wants is a little time alone to process everything.

Ryan: You don't think she knows about the party?

Sandy: What? No. Are you kidding me? Nobody plans a surprise party like Sandy Cohen. I could've been with the CIA.

Seth: I hear they're known for their birthday parties.

Generic

At Cohen's

Che: Good morning, brother.

Seth: Che, what are you...? I mean, this is real, right? This isn't a dream?

Che: Unless this whole life is a dream. But, no, for our purposes, you are awake. Seth, how do you feel about the subjugation of animals?

Seth: Um... I hate it.

Che: When you hear that a fellow mammal is being exploited for cheap entertainment instead of being allowed to burrow in the soft soil of Mother Earth, does it make you want to tear your hair out? Well, then rise and shine, brother, for the clarion call of justice has rung across the land.

Seth: I'm glad I don't sleep naked.

Che: Yeah, me, too. I didn't think about that.

Seth: You could've had...

At Roberts' - Kaitlin's bedroom

Brad: Tell him you want to feel his butt.

Eric: Yeah, say how you can't wait to get two big handfuls of butt.

Kaitlin: Okay, you guys, that's gross. I'm supposed to be my mom, okay?

Eric: Exactly.

Brad: Look, you want this guy to think your mom loves him, right? This is how adults talk to each other.

Kaitlin: I've been e-mailing Bullit as my mom for, like, a month now. You don't think it'd bea little weird if I randomly asked him about his butt?

Brad: No. It just shows that she cares for him.

Eric: And his butt.

Kaitlin: Do you guys not realize how much you talk about other guys' butts?

Brad: Do you want your mom to close the deal or not?

Kaitlin: "I miss your butt. Love, Julie."

Brad: Awesome. Awesome.

At the poolhouse

Sandy: Hey. You busy?

Ryan: No.

Sandy: I'm just going in to pick up Kirsten's birthday present. Thought you might want to come along. You know, grab some lunch.

Ryan: Ah, yeah, sure.

Sandy: Is everything okay?

Ryan: Mm-hmm. Fine.

Sandy: How are you doing with all that's going on with Taylor?

Ryan: Okay.

Sandy: Are you sure?

Ryan: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, she says she needs time. I get it. I got plenty of other things to keep me busy. Sandy, I'm fine. I'm not sitting around missing her if that's what you're asking.

Sandy: All right. Okay. Let's say half an hour?

Ryan: All right.

At the doctor

Taylor: I need help, Doctor.

Doctor: Well, Taylor, admitting that is the first step in recovery. But tell me, how did you hear about me?

Taylor: Oh, I read your article about emotional addictions <i>in The Journal of Abstract Thought. I saw you teach at UCI, and it just kind of seemed like fate.

Doctor: And you think that you're suffering from an emotional addiction?

Taylor: Yeah, pretty much all my life. 'Cause I never really knew my dad and my mom is... kind of like Idi Amin with fake boobs. You know, big on the torturing and the tyranny, not so big on the nurturing.

Doctor: I see.

Taylor: And then from there, I just kind of became this person who whenever anybody would hold out, like, the slightest prospect of emotional support, I would just seize on it. Like, I married a man who I knew for two weeks just because he told me he loved me.

Doctor: And how has that manifest itself now?

Taylor: Well, I'm dating this guy, Ryan And he's just really wonderful and... I really care about him a lot, but I told him that I needed some space because...

Doctor: Because you know that you're not ready for a mature relationship and you don't want to ruin it?

Taylor: Yes. Exactly.

Doctor: And how has that been?

Taylor: This time apart? Well, that's kind of the other problem. sometimes, when I like someone, I... sometimes... kind of, uh, stalk them. Not in like a scary Star 80 way. Just to, you know, like, follow them around and take pictures and log their activities and then compile it all in a factually accurate, yet aesthetically pleasing scrapbook, and it's all really very... Oh, my God, I'm a total lunatic.

Doctor: Taylor, you are not a lunatic. You recognize that this behavior is not healthy and you want to correct it.

Taylor: I do. I really, really do.

Doctor: All right, well... as you know, from my article, my methods are very aggressive.

Taylor: Okay. I'm in your hands, Doctor.

At Roberts'

Kaitlin: What are you doing?

Julie: Neil and I bought these in Cabo. I'm selling them.

Kaitlin: Why?

Julie: Because times are tough, Kaitlin.

Kaitlin: Well, do I need to remind you that your boyfriend's a billionaire?

Julie: No, he's not. I mean... Are you cheating on Bullit? No, I'm not even dating him. That fizzled when he went to Dubai.

Kaitlin: Oh. Well, he thinks you guys are still dating.

Julie: Have you been talking to him?

Kaitlin: No. Just a couple e-mails. And what have you told him?

Julie: Nothing.

Kaitlin: Just... I know he really likes you. And I know he thinks you guys are still a couple. But wait, are you seeing anyone else?

Julie: That's none of your business.

Kaitlin: Fine. Okay, well, what are you going to tell the Bullit? 'Cause he comes back today.

Julie: Will you please answer that?

***

Man: Julie Cooper?

Kaitlin: Um... yeah. Thank you. "Can't wait till tomorrow night. Miss you already."

At the doctor

Doctor: Mrs. Cohen, thanks for waiting. So, tell me what's going on? Kirsten: Well, the last few weeks I've been feeling weak... just drained of energy. There's been some nausea and light-headedness.

Doctor: Now, I have to ask: have you been drinking?

Kaitlin: Not a drop.

Doctor: And has there been any undue stress?

Kirsten: No. I mean, not more than usual.

Doctor: Well, let's take some blood. Then we'll be able to tell you something. Ooh, you turn 40 tomorrow. Happy birthday.

Kirsten: Thanks.

At the shopping center

Seth: You're crazy.

Che: Seth...

Seth: I thought you wanted to release turtles into the ocean or something. I'm not going to help you steal Newport Chuck.

Che: Why, 'cause he looks so happy down there?

Seth: I don't know, he seems to be doing all right with the free carrot deal.

Che: Well, I see this was a mistake. I guess we don't have all that much in common after all. Who knows what might have been.

Seth: Oh, God. Fine. Okay.

Che: What?

Seth: You know, you helped me heal my inner otter, I owe you. You mean, you want to help?

Che: Yeah, that's it...

Seth: ...I feel we have a bond. So what's the plan?

At the airport

Gordon: Hey, Peanut. I just left the airport.

Kaitlin: We need to talk.

Gordon: Not if it's about that duty-free booze you asked me to buy.

Kaitlin: No, it's definitely not about that. There's a little something that I should talk to you about.

Gordon: Okay, then why don't you meet me at the jewelry store.

Kaitlin: What are you talking about?

Gordon: Well, Squirt, I liked your mother before I left, but these e-mails I've been getting lately, especially the last one... let's just say, I like the way her mind works. Yes, she is the girl for me.

Kaitlin: You're going to ask her to marry you? Oh, damn am.

Gordon: Why? What were you going to tell me?

Kaitlin: Nothing. She loves anything that's an emerald cut.

Gordon: So you're saying I should ask her?

Kaitlin: Yeah, absolutely. You should totally ask her. Totally.

At Roberts - Taylor's bedroom

Summer: You saved a valet ticket?

Taylor: Oh, yeah, that's from our third date. He's a very generous tipper. You wouldn't know it to look at him.

Summer: What's this?

Taylor: Toothpick.

Summer: Gross.

Taylor: Well, he didn't use it... much.

Summer: Okay, Taylor... although I wholeheartedly support you getting rid of everything in this box for purely sanitary reasons, If you like Ryan and he likes you, screw the therapist and figure out your stuff together. I mean, all of this just seems a little insane.

Taylor: Summer, my whole life I've been completely powerless before people who say they have feelings for me. I feel like I need to do this for myself as much as for me and Ryan.

Summer: Even if you lose him?

Taylor: If I don't do this, I'm going to lose him anyway. I don't have a choice.

Summer: Okay. Well, I hope you know what you're doing.

Taylor: Yeah. Me, too.

Jettey

Ryan: Kaitlin.

Kaitlin: Ryan. Hi.

Ryan: Hey. You buying some jewelry?

Kaitlin: Yeah, just buying some class rings.

Ryan: Are you here with someone?

Kaitlin: No. Are you?

Ryan: Yeah, Sandy's buying part of Kirsten's birthday present. Hey, how's Taylor been?

Kaitlin: Well... weird.

Ryan: Weird like...?

Kaitlin: Weirder than normal.

Ryan: Really?

Kaitlin: Yeah. A little bit. Hi, Mr. Cohen.

Sandy: Kaitlin, you coming to the party tomorrow?

Kaitlin: Um, yeah, totally. Listen, I got to go, but I'll see you guys.

Ryan: Everything okay?

Sandy: No. The guy in Carson. I just got a message. He lost it.

Ryan: He lost it?

Sandy: Yeah. I don't know how you do that.

***

Gordon: The hell you hiding from?

Kaitlin: You scared me.

Gordon: Well, quit hiding out in the shadows like some Al Quaeda wacko.

Kaitlin: I just thought I saw my mom. So what'd you end up getting?

Gordon: Yeah, I did. How you like that?

Kaitlin: Wow. Is it the most expensive one?

Gordon: Well, Bullit bought it. Of course it is. And your mama deserves it.

Kaitlin: Good. All right. Now let's talk about that proposal.

Gordon: No, I got it worked out. This Iranian fellow on my flight played me this Persian love song on his cell phone. So I downloaded it. Check that out.

Kaitlin: Mm-hmm, let's definitely talk about that proposal.

Gordon: It's gonna work.

In Seth's car

Che: No, once the truck is outside for the ceremony tomorrow, there's going to be too many eyes. The best bet is to break into the lobby and take him from the city hall.

Seth: But the door is locked.

Che: The main door's locked, yes. But yesterday, I took a tour of the city hall and I taped the lock on the fire door on the roof.

Seth: How is that tour by the way? I've always wondered.

Che: You know, it's surprisingly good. Good local history, doesn't get too anecdotal.

Seth: Oh, great. How do we get on the roof?

Che: You know what this is? A grappling hook. I climbed Denali last year. It's an Outward Bound course. This is gonna be like a piece of cake.

Seth: I've never climbed.

Che: I brought a papoose for you.

Seth; Oh, great. Okay, so we climb on the roof, we break in, we break Chuck out of his cage, we climb down the roof.

Che: And return him to the savannahs of his childhood.

Seth: I actually heard he was captured in Irvine, but just one thing...

Che: Yeah.

Seth: You know this plan is insane, right? It'll never work.

Che: Seth, when the universe intends for something to happen, it will happen. How about a pre-op snow cone?

Seth: Oh, great.

Che: I'm talking your language now, huh? You like snow cones?

Seth: I like... my favorite flavor is cherry, but my dad's is blueberry.

At Cohen's

Ryan: Hi.

Doctor: Are you Ryan Atwood?

Ryan: Yeah. Can I help you?

Doctor: This is from Taylor.

Ryan: O... kay. Excuse me. Wait. Who are you?

Doctor: Dr. James. I'm helping Taylor through some issues.

Ryan: So you're her therapist.

Doctor: More of an emotional crisis manager.

Ryan: And she gave you... Is she in your car?

Psy: Uh, Mr. Atwood...

Ryan: Taylor, what is this? What's going on?

Doctor: Ryan, I have instructed her that she should have no direct contact with you for one week.

Ryan: Uh, okay, but she's right here. Taylor. Taylor.

Ryan: Can you just please tell him that I'm sorry, but I really think this is what's best for me and us?

Doctor: Ryan, she's sorry, but she...

Ryan: Yeah, I heard that. Taylor, would you talk to me, please? This is crazy. All right, would you at least tell me what this is about? Are you breaking up with me?

Doctor: She asks that you trust her for a while longer.

Ryan: Taylor, look, whatever the reason you're doing all this, you don't have to-- we can work on it together. Please. Please.

Taylor: Good-bye, Ryan.

Ryan: Does that mean... Okay, you're gonna...

At the city hall

Seth: Hey, little buddy. Che. Che. What was wrong with the elevator?

Che: Nothing. I just really love doing that. Hey, little duder.

Seth: What was that?

Che: Let's get... let's get it out. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Seth: Okay, where are the ropes?

Che: I left them inside.

Seth: Dude...

Che: No, it's all right. Uh... relax. I'll go get them. Here.

Seth: Do you want to...?

Che: Give it here.

Seth: Hey. There some sort of problem?

Che: Uh... it is possible that the piece of tape I put over the lock got torn through.

Seth: So are you saying we're stuck up here?

Che: No. As long as I can... Yeah.

***

Che: Get out.

Seth: Che, what are you doing?

Che: I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm meditating over a dream. You realize this is the second time you and I have spent the night together?

Seth: So?

Che: So... does that mean anything to you?

Seth: You'll be going on your little adventures by yourself from now on?

Che: Seth... when the universe... intends for something to happen...it will happen, and our personal desires or natural predilections, they just don't figure in. In fact... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you.

Man: This belong to you two?

Che: Crouch behind me.

At Cohen's

Sandy: Oh! Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Kirsten: Thanks.

Sandy: Hey. Come on. Sit down. I am making you a birthday breakfast you won't believe.

Kirsten: Oh, that's sweet, but, Sandy, I don't think I'm in the mood for a big breakfast.

Sandy: Oh, you're taking this turning-40 thing a little hard, aren't you? You know, it's not the end of the world. You're more beautiful now than the day we met. Soon, Seth and Ryan'll be gone. We'll be able to do whatever we want. We'll be like kids again.

Kirsten: And live in the back of a mail truck?

Sandy: Why not? 'Course, maybe we'll throw in a pillow-top mattress. My back's not what it used to be.

Kirsten: Sandy...

Ryan: Hey! Happy birthday.

Kirsten: Oh... Hey, thanks.

Ryan: Did I interrupt something?

Kirsten: No!

Ryan: Okay.

Kirsten: Oh. Excuse me.

Sandy: Hey, dinner reservations 8:00. Don't make any plans.

Ryan: Any luck yet?

Sandy: Nothing. I must've made 30 calls yesterday.

Ryan: All right. Well, anything you need me to do today, I'm all yours.

Sandy: Thanks. I feel she really needs this.

***

Kirsten: Of course I can see the doctor today, but can't she just tell me? I understand. She wants to tell me in person.

At the shopping center

Julie: Hi, babe.

Kaitlin: Mom, where are you?

Julie: I'm at the spa getting shined and buffed. What's up?

Kaitlin: What does it feel like when your appendix bursts?

While walking

Taylor: I don't feel proud.

Doctor: Well, you should be. What you did yesterday was very difficult.

Taylor: Yeah, but the look on his face... I just wanted to hold him.

Doctor: And you will, but first you have to take care of yourself. Excuse me. Hello. Yes. Oh. All right. Listen, I've got to go. Another patient's having a crisis. But we'll talk later.

Taylor: Okay. All right. Oh, God, I'm sorry. Sorry about that.

Man: You guys must be getting ready for the festival. Yeah. Thanks. Uh... okay. Come on, guys, let's go. Uh... We don't want to be late.

At Roberts'

Julie: Kaitlin?

Kaitlin: Mom, I'm fine.

Julie: What? Wh...? What are all these flowers doing here?

Kaitlin: There's someone who wants to ask you something.

Julie: What are you talking about?

Gordon: There you are.

Julie: Gordon!?

Gordon: You are a sight for sore eyes. Come to Big Daddy.

Julie: Okay, everybody stop. What is going on? You're not dying and... Gordon, what are you doing here?

Gordon: It's time, squirt. Hit it.

Kaitlin: I really don't think that it's...

Gordon: Trust me. Hit it.

Kaitlin: Okay.

Julie: Oh. My God.

Gordon: Julie Cooper, I've traveled the world over, had everything money can buy, but there comes a time in a billionaire's life that his money ain't worth a dime unless he has someone to share it with. Will you marry me?

Julie: I don't know what to say.

Gordon: Oh, a "yes" works for me.

Kaitlin: Mom, isn't this great?

Julie: Y... I-it's very, very nice, but, please, stand up. I'm, I'm flattered, but... w-will you turn that off, please?

Kaitlin: Okay.

Julie: Fine. Thank you. I guess I'm just surprised.

Gordon: Well, when I see something I want, I go for it like a bullet. Bang.

Julie: But, Gordon, we haven't spoken since you went to Dubai.

Kaitlin: Mom, he just asked you to marry him. I mean... look at the ring. It's ri-dog-ulous.

Gordon: An-and what about all those e-mails? I've never seen so many X's and O's and that would be hugs and kisses, right?

Julie: W-what e-mails?

Kaitlin: You know, the music was actually really awesome.

Gordon: And especially that last one-- you know the one, where you said...

Kaitlin: Oh, crap.

In jail

Summer: Hello.

Che:Caterpillar.

Summer: Che, oh, my God, he looks so sad.

Che: Who?

Summer: Newport Chuck. I'm looking at him right now-- I thought you were going to rescue him.

Che: Well, things didn't go exactly as planned. Are you at the pier right now?

Summer: Yeah. They're setting up for the ceremony right now. Where are you?

Che: The Man caught me.

Summer: What? You're in jail, Che?

Che: No, don't. No, don't worry about me. You have to focus on Chuck. He needs you right now. Caterpillar, you have to rescue him.

Summer: No. Che, I told you not to involve me.

Che: Sometimes, Summer... our destiny is chosen for us.

Summer: All right. I'll see what I can do.

Che: Okay. It's all you.

Man: I was next. Who should I call?

Park

Taylor: I see. So, who else is on stage other than the mayor and, obviously, Newport Chuck?

Woman: Well, a couple of the mayor's men, some city council members, a few police officers.

Taylor: And so, uh, that's it?

Woman: Mmm. Wait. There's also a few people dressed as groundhogs. What paper did you say you're with?

Taylor: Uh... Groundhog's Day Weekly. which comes out once a year, usually around...

Woman: Groundhog Day?

Taylor: Yes. Thank you so much.

At Roberts - Kaitlin's bedroom

Julie: You were e-mailing him and pretending to be me?

Kaitlin: I just know you don't deal well with long-distance relationships. I thought you might regret it.

Julie: Really? That's the reason? Has nothing to do with you being sick of eating frozen dinners?

Kaitlin: What? And your saying no has nothing to do with the fact you're seeing a mystery man?

Julie: A.) I never said no. B.) That is my private life. Kaitlin, there is more to relationships than just money. I don't care for The Bullit just because he's a billionaire.

Kaitlin: Maybe I care a little bit. But the reason why I would've told him to marry you is because I know he loves you, and he's a really nice guy, and he's really funny...and he'd make an amazing step-dad.

Julie: You have to tell him the truth.

Kaitlin: What are you gonna tell him?

Julie: I don't know.

Kaitlin: Well, better make up your mind quick...'cause I'm taking him with me to Kirsten's party.

At Cohen's

Kirsten: Hello.

Julie: Kirsten. I need your help. Oh. Happy birthday.

Kirsten: Thanks.

Julie: Bullit just proposed to me.

Kirsten: That's nice.

Julie: I told him I'd give him an answer by tonight, but the truth is...I've been seeing someone else in secret. You'll never believe who.

Kirsten: Julie, I'm, I'm gonna lie down. Congratulations.

Park

Sandy: That was a guy at the junkyard at Chatsworth. He's got one. He says he can have it at the yacht club in an hour.

Ryan: Sounds like everything's gonna be okay.

Sandy: Well, let's hope. What's going on with you and Taylor? Come on. You've been in the dumps today.

Ryan: Honestly, I don't know. She said she needs space; I said, "Sure."

Taylor: Stupid tree. Oh... dumb branches.

Ryan: I sort of talked to her.

Sandy: Taylor was right there, right?

Ryan: Oh, yeah, oh, yeah; but she wasn't supposed to be talking to me. She would say something and then the therapist would say it again to me. Wow. It's crazy, huh?

Sandy: Yeah. I mean, a little, but...

Ryan: And, I mean, I want her to do what she needs to do.

Sandy: Did you tell her that?

Ryan: I tried.

Sandy: Excuse me.

Ryan: Yeah, sure.

Sandy: Yeah, hello. Seth? Where are you?

Taylor: Oh, no...

Ryan: Oh, whoa, you... You okay? Taylor? What are you doing?

Taylor: I was just...

Ryan: Taylor, are you okay?

Taylor: I'm sorry. Just... forget you ever knew me.

In jail

Seth: My dad said he'll be right over.

Che: What about me?

Seth: Don't worry, Dale. He knows you're here, too.

Che: But I don't wanna leave. Seth, I haven't been honest with you. Uh... remember in the sweat lodge when you discovered that your animus was a sea otter?

Seth: Mm-hmm.

Che: Well... see, I had a dream that night, too. Uh... and I discovered that my animal self was a bullfrog.

Seth: Oh... that's awesome; frogs are cool.

Che: Yeah, but there's, there's kinda more to it. See... I also discovered that the animus of my soul mate... Well, see, my... in the dream, my bullfrog was in love... w-with...a groundhog. It wasn't an otter at all.

Seth: What? Wha-What wasn't an otter?

Che: Never mind. No, nothing. What?

Seth: You were gonna say... Che!

Che: Never mind.

Seth: Che, what wasn't an otter?

Man: I ate a squirrel once.

Seth: That's great.

Cop: Cohen, Cook, someone's posted bail for you.

Che: Whew!

Seth: You coming?

Che: No, you go. I'm not leaving till we're both free.

Seth: Works for me.

At Cohen's

Kirsten: Sandy, where have you been? I called you three times.

Sandy: Well, it's been a busy afternoon.

Kirsten: Please tell me that you haven't planned anything big tonight.

Sandy: Well, on your birthday, sorry, but I plead the Fifth. Listen, can you meet me at the yacht club?

Kirsten: I thought we were going together.

Sandy: Yeah, I know, but I had to make other arrangements.

Kirsten: Sandy...

Sandy: I'll see you in a few minutes.

***

Seth: Hi, Dad. I hope I'm not late for Mom's party.

***

Man: Kirsten Cohen?

Kirsten: Yes?

Man: I'm here to take you to your husband.

Yatch club

Ryan: I cannot believe that you tried to steal Newport Chuck.

Seth: Sometimes the universe makes you do things that you don't even understand.

Ryan: Sure. Well, Sandy didn't seem to upset about it.

Seth: Are you kidding? He's waited 18 years for me to be arrested for political activism. It's probably the proudest moment of his entire life.

Ryan: Ah! It's your mom. Good evening.

Kirsten: Good evening. Thank you.

Ryan: You're welcome.

Seth: Happy birthday.

Kirsten: Oh, thank you. I hope your father didn't do anything too extravagant.

Ryan: Ooh, might be a little late for that, yeah.

Kirsten: Oh, my God.

Ryan: Yeah, that was my first thought, too.

Sandy: Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Kirsten: Oh... Sandy, it's...

Sandy: No, it's not the same mail truck we had at Berkeley, but it is exactly the same model.

Kirsten: It's amazing. Thank you.

Sandy: And here's your real present. Happy birthday. Around-the-world first-class air tickets. Just you and me. That's not bad, huh?

Kirsten: Ah... I-I think I can... I can top it. Can I talk to you in private?

Sandy: Yeah.

Kirsten: You two stay here.

Sandy: Fellas, watch the truck.

***

Kirsten: I want you seated for this.

Sandy: Is everything okay?

Kirsten: I went to a doctor.

Sandy: Are you sick?

Kirsten: Yes. But only in the mornings.

Sandy: What?

Kirsten: I'm pregnant.

Sandy: Wait, one more time.

Kirsten: Sandy, we're having a baby.

Sandy: We're having a baby?!

Kirsten: Everything's gonna change.

Sandy: You're not kidding. I love you.

Kirsten: Well, that's good, because there's gonna be a lot more of me to love.

Sandy: Oh, my gosh.

***

Kaitlin: And then Brad was, like, "Oh, no," and I was, like, "Oh, yeah."

Gordon: Well, that Brad sounds like a piece of work. And I still can't believe you wrote me all those e-mails.

Kaitlin: Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

Gordon: And that last one, a little frisky, a little inappropriate. Aw, but what the hell. The offer still stands she's still the most exciting woman I've ever met.

Julie: Kaitlin. Gordon.

Kaitlin: Mom, did you hear that? The Bullit still wants to marry you.

Julie: Yes. Well, Gordon, that's very generous. But I'm afraid my answer has to be no. Sit down; I'm not finished. As I was saying, no because we don't know each other well enough. But... I'm willing to correct that. I like you, Gordon, and if after spending time together, I can grow to love you, then... yes, I would be proud to be your wife.

Gordon: Wow. Oh, wow. Come here.

Kaitlin: Can I get up now?

Julie: Yes, of course you can get up.

***

Seth: Oh, my God.

Ryan: Oh, my God.

Sandy: That's what I said.

Kirsten: I know this isn't what everybody expected.

Sandy: That's family, there's nothing more important than that. I mean... I mean, you're... you're pregnant.

Seth: It's so weird.

Ryan: Yeah, well, congratulations.

Seth: Yeah, it's great.

Sandy: Especially since it makes me getting arrested seem trivial now...

Kirsten: You got what?

Seth: Thanks for prepping her, Dad.

Sandy: Oh, that we'll deal with that later. Uh, right now... we've got some guests inside.

Seth: Actually, I was gonna ru and pick up Summer, so...

Ryan: Oh, could you give me a ride, 'cause I got...

Seth: Go tell Taylor that you love her and you can't live without her?

Ryan: Mm, something like that. Hey, I'll see you guys in a few minutes.

Kirsten: Yeah. And suddenly, we're alone again.

Sandy: Eh, not for long.

At Roberts - Summer's bedroom

Summer: Take care of him.

Che: Don't worry-- soon enough he'll be burrowing away with his little brothers and sisters. Listen, I'm so sorry that I got you arrested. I should've never asked to borrow your costume. I didn't mean to get you into trouble.

Summer: It's okay-- turns out the mayor's a lover of our animal brethren. He gave us both amnesty.

Che: Yeah, and this way we got to meet.

Girl: The universe works in mysterious ways.

Summer: So your dream was right all along-- that's amazing!

Seth: Hey. Wow, crowded room. You guys off?

Che: Yes. To where the winds of libery blow over the mountaintops.

Seth: You mean Chicago or something?

Che: Take care, you two In another life, brother.

Summer: So, are we too late for your mom's birthday party?

Seth: Uh, actually, I think it may be more of a baby shower now, but I'll explain in the car, or maybe I won't. I think it's supposed to be a secret. Listen, what did, uh, Che mean when he said "in another life"? In another life what?

At Roberts - Taylor's bedroom

Taylor: Hello? Hello?

Ryan: Oh, yeah...

Taylor: Who is this?

Ryan: What are you wearing?

Taylor: Ryan? Were you just trying to stalk me?

Ryan: Yeah, I guess I need a little more practice.

Taylor: That is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.

Ryan: So does that mean the whole, uh, space thing...

Taylor: Yeah, terrible idea. You don't mind dating someone who's a total weirdo?

Ryan: No, no. In fact, I was thinking we could work around it. Like, I have to go to Kirsten's party, but if you wanted... you could follow me.

Taylor: Yes, and then when we get there, I could hide behind a plant and just kind of watch you.

Ryan: Exactly, exactly. And then, on the way home, I could stalk you.

Taylor: Yes! And then I stalk you.

Yatch club

Julie: Hi. It's me. No, I-I won't be making it tonight. Listen, I, uh... I'm back with Bullit. I know. I know. But this is the best thing for my family. I'm sorry.

Frank: Me, too.

Julie: Good-bye, Frank.

End of the episode.


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