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  3x01 - Bitchcraft
 Posted: 10/11/13 21:11
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- Bitchcraft - AHS

Gentlemen, I want you to meet my daughters, Marie Louise Pauline, Marie Louise Jeanne, and from my first marriage, Marie Delphine Lopez.

But everyone calls her Borquita.

What they may lack in outer beauty, they more than make up for with their many talents.

Borquita is a huge help to me with the domestics.

While Jeanne excels in petit point.

My youngest, Pauline, well, her major talent has yet to reveal itself.

Perhaps my talent is in the boudoir, Mother dear.

I guess we'll find out on your wedding night, mon petit.


(insects chirring)

(animals chittering)


Mon cherie.

When the blood dries, my skin is supposed to be tight as a drum.

Just look at this wattle.


This blood's not fresh.


S'ak pase'w la?

Mon cherie, something happened during the dinner party.

Stupid slut!

I invite all the eligible bachelors just to meet you and you...


spread your filthy legs for the houseman!

You might as well rut with the family dog!

You can't control me, Mother.

The hell I can't!

The hell I can't.

You know what we're going to say?

We're going to say he took you by force.

Like the savage he is.

No, ma'am, I did no such thing.

Yes, that's what happened. Miss Pauline came on to me.

And I told her I belong to someone else.

Keep that mongrel quiet.

(man cries out)

Haul him upstairs.

MAN: No. No. No.

(hinges creaking, door thuds)

Bonsoir, my pets.

Did y'all miss me?

(muffled shouts)

Hush up.

Or I'll rip your lips open and stuff more shit in there.

(chains rattling)


Why are you doing this to us?

Because I can?


Now we gonna have flies up here.

(chains rattling)


That should do it.


(people coughing, groaning)

You want to rut like a beast... then we're going to treat you like one.


Where's my pickaninny with the head?

(Bastien whimpering frantically)

Put it on him.

(frantic whimpering continues)

(frantic whimpering continues)

Darling, you have outdone yourself.

However did you think this up?

My great literacy began with Greek mythology.

I used to sit on Daddy's lap and he would read me those stories full of their vengeful Gods and wondrous miraculous creatures.

But the Minotaur was always my favorite.

Half-man, half-bull.

And now...

I have one of my very own.

(low, guttural laugh)

(frantic whimpering continues)

(insect chirring)

(keys jingling)

Are you sure about this?

Come on.

My mom gets home at : .

It just sucks being somebody's first.

I don't want to hurt you.

I'll be okay.

You okay?



Charlie, Charlie, what's wrong?




GIRL: It's a cliche, but like all cliches, it's the truth.

Your life can change overnight.

Or in a moment.


The official word on Charlie's death was a brain aneurysm.

But the doctors had never seen anything quite like it before.

The blood... all that blood.

It's not your fault, baby.

It's ours.

There's something I should have told you a long time ago.

I prayed it would skip your generation.

Your great-grandmother had the same genetic affliction.

GIRL: So apparently I'm a witch.

It runs in my family, but it doesn't show up in every generation,

i]or in every girl.[/i]

Like my cousin Amanda, she's just bulimic.

We read about the Salem Witch Trials in, like, fifth grade.

Guess I should have paid more attention.

Hang her! Drown her! Burn her!

CHIEF MAGISTRATE: Mercy Osbourne, you have been sentenced to death.

May God have mercy on your wretched soul.

GIRL: Those girls weren't even witches.

The real witches were cunning and careful not to be caught.

(angry shouting)

In fact after that, they got the hell out of Dodge.

(angry shouting)

They fled.

As far South as they could.

(angry shouting)

That's how eventually New Orleans became the new Salem.

WOMAN: There's a school there.

A boarding school for girls like you.

You'll be safe.

You're sending me away?

WOMAN: I'm sorry, baby.

We can't keep you here anymore.

It's too dangerous.

What's going on?

Mom, what's going on? What is this?

Mom! Mom... No, what is this?!




We'll handle it from here.

Can't I drive her to the station?

She's our daughter now, Nora.

You've done all you can.

A long good-bye would only make things worse.

By the way, these drapes.

I'm just mad for tartan.

(birds singing)

(doorbell chimes)

(metallic click, hinges creaking)

(hinges creaking)


(hinges creaking)



(flames crackling)


(running footsteps)

(girl gasping)


O dark father, we offer this flesh up to you, blood, life, and all.

Get the hell off me!



Sabrina, relax.

We're just messing with you.

Holy shit. Are you...

Madison Montgomery, movie star.

Shit. When's the last time you made a movie, girl?

I'm Nan. Hi.



So bored now.

So, is this all of you?

At the moment.

Cordelia Foxx, headmistress.

All right, girls, there's a van full of groceries in the driveway that needs unloading.

I'll show Zoe to her room.

Then we meet for Midday Gathering.

Let's go.

CORDELIA: Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies was established as a premiere

girls' finishing school in .

During the Civil War, it was converted into a military hospital.

Afterwards, it came under new management. Our management.

In , Marianne Wharton,a prominent East Coast society matron,early suffragette,author of several popularchildren's books--and, as it happened, the reigning Supreme of that time-- purchased this facility, retaining the name as a cover,establishing a safe havenwhere young witches could gather to learn.

In its heyday, the academy was hometo as many as girls.

Over the years, those numbers dwindled.

ZOE: Why?

We're a dying breed, Zoe.

Many of the families who knew they carried the bloodline made a choice not to reproduce.

So, what's a Supreme?

An average witch is born with a few natural gifts.

But in each generation there is one woman who embodies countless gifts.

Some say... all of them.

She is the Supreme.

Are you the Supreme?


I'm like you.

Just a witch.

And a teacher. I'm here to help you identify your gifts and teach you how to control them.

She means to suppress them.

Not suppression.


She thinks it's still the s.

No. Back then, our kind understood the dangers.

Today, so many families know nothing of their ancestry.

Too many girls aren't lucky enough to have found usor weren't identified in time

for us to have found them.

Like that poor Cajun girl just outside Lafayette a few months back.

Misty Day.

She wasn't much older than any of you.

And she had a gift, the power of resurgence.

Misty could reach into that place between life and death and draw a soul back

from the precipice, back to this side, back to life.

It's dark magic!

To some, this appeared to be

the God-touched power of resurrection.

To cast you in to darkness and sin!

To others, necromancy.

To cast you into separation from God!

So what happened to her?

The same thing that's happened to women like us throughout the centuries.


Let me go!

Let me go!


(panting, coughing)


(match struck)


It's you that will end in flames.

I swear it!



We are under siege, ladies.

Our lives, our very existence is always at risk.

Know this or face extinction.

This is Allegra.

She is the equivalent of a human female in her late s.

Allegra suffers from acute bradycardia, her kidneys are failing, she's lost the ability

to swallow.

Allegra, in short, is dying.

Now, several hours after this video was taken, we injected Allegra with our Serum RM .

We expanded on the University of Wisconsin studies on induced pluripotent stem cells.

Meet Allegra today.

I'll have what she's having.


And you will.

Sooner than you'd think.

We should be ready for human trials in two years' time.

This afternoon.


Preferably in the next half hour.

I have a dinner engagement.

I'm sorry, but, uh... well, that's impossible.

I hear you like to get... sauced at biochemistry conventions and brag about how you're gonna

win the Nobel Prize for the work you're doing here, research that has been entirely funded by my late husband's money.

I have made you rich, soon to be famous.

I want that medicine.

I paid for it, and I want it.


You can't smoke in here.


Fiona... you are a very beautiful woman.

But if you're just looking for something cosmetic, I can recommend a plastic surgeon.

What I need... is an infusion of vitality.

Of youth.

I want that drug, David, and I want it now.

Even if I wanted to give it to you, I couldn't.

What we do here is not magic.

I'm sorry.

(Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" playing)


REPORTER: Last night, communities across the county held candlelight vigils praying

for Misty's safe return.

However, sources close to the family have declined to comment on the fact that authorities now believe

they have found the last known location of the missing girl.

It is rumored that Misty Day may have been burned at the stake, though no official statement

was released.


You made me leave my daughters' violin recital early. You've been injecting me with your

shit for five days now and nothing...nothing has changed.

How do I know you're not just shooting me up with some sugar water?

I have risked my career giving you these drugs.

They could kill you. I could go to jail.

Double the dosage.

Pull our funding.

Give me more!

We are organic matter.

We are animals. We rot, we die!

I will tender my resignation in the morning.


What is this?

How are you doing this?


Get away from... get away from me!






My children.

Don't be such a baby.



(lighter clatters)

Hey, Jeeves. Can I get some iceberg lettuce with a side of blue cheese?

Girl, be nice to Spalding.

Poor bastard ain't got no tongue. Is that true, Jeeves?

Did you use your tongue for something wicked?

Or maybe you just suck at going down.

Oh, come on, Jeeves.

Show us your stub!

Maybe we can put it to use!

So, new girl...

...what are you in for?

Her boyfriend.

Nan, shut up before you get

your ass in trouble.

Did you kill him?

No. It was an accident.

It was an accident, Zoe.

And you will find love again.

A strange and

Girl, are you deaf or just stupid?

MADISON: Tell us about this accident.

And don't spare all the gory details.

So, why are you here?

My agent staged an intervention.

Ever since my drunk and disorderly, I get blamed for all kinds of shit that I didn't do.

But you did it. You killed the man.

I get it, bitch, you're clairvoyant.

Do you want to know what happened?

Hi, boys. So glad you all could come.

Gee, is it hot in here?

Cut, cut.

You're still not hitting your mark.

I'm using the space.

That's a light.

If you don't hit your mark, that light can't hit you.

The light hit him just fine.

All he said was "hit your mark."

Why don't you just do the world a favor and take an acting class, you D-list, Botox bimbo.


Stop it, you bitch!

Stop what? I don't feel nothing.

I'm a human voodoo doll.


You like this?


You're... you're gonna get in trouble.

Queenie, stop!

I'll do it.

Come on.

Let's take a walk.

A walk?

Fine. I'm not hungry anyway.


Like anyone believes that.

Well, that was disturbing.

Given the choices around here, it looks like you're my new best friend.

(phone vibrates)

Do you own any clothes that don't come from the Gap?

Not really.



You can borrow something of mine.

Frat party tonight.

Just got the tweet.



You dropped your cocktail.


I thought you were in Switzerland.


It's tragic. The glamour's gone.

They put a shopping mall on Sunset and Vine.

I don't have a broom.


That's ironic.

Los Angeles?

Why do you look so jet-lagged?

I happen to look wonderful.

Let me make you something.

It's a restorative

I've been experimenting with.

This will fix you right up.

Delia, with her potions and powders.

You know, one of my greatest disappointments in life is that you never fully realized

the extent of your power.

I've done pretty well.

You are the only child of the Supreme.

You have royal blood running in your veins.

You could be ruling the world.

I like my little kingdom here, thank you.

Yeah, well, your little kingdom is a mess.




You bitch.

It wouldn't have killed you.

Just put me in a coma for a couple days?

Or weeks. Look, why don't you just go away?

I don't want you here. How else do you want me to say it?

You're still angry. I can tell.

My God, you are the Supreme.

I was just on this... wonderful spiritual retreat with Shirley MacLaine in Sedona.

It was all about forgiveness.

You dumped me here.

You were sent to an elite boarding school.


You know, I've often thought that my big mistake with you was waiting so long

before sending you away.


Show yourself out.

No. I'm not going.

I'm staying. I'm here to help you.

Do you know that not miles from here a young woman was burned at the stake?

It's Salem all over again.

There is a storm coming.

And you are leaving these poor girls under your charge completely unprepared for it.

I am aware of what's happening.

My entire teaching philosophy...

Has been an abject failure.

You teach them to cower.

And to hide in the shadows.

Well, there are no shadows, not anymore.

Do you really think with Twitter and Facebook that a witch does anything at all

she won't be videotaped and turned into some...viral freak show like a dog

who says "I love you"?

No, no, no.

This is my life.

You can't come in here and piss all over it.

I will call the council.


Call the council.


And then you can explain to them why you think it's a bad idea for the Supreme to teach them.

When are you gonna die and stop ruining my life?


I'm here.

I'm staying.

So why don't we make the best of it?

YOUNG MAN: Okay, animals, all right, let's listen up, okay?

All right, we're gonna go over a few ground rules, gents.

The no puke rule will be strictly enforced.

I will not be drinking... too much tonight, so if I see any of you are

in danger of hurling in public,

I will send you back here to the penalty box.


That also goes... for public urination and public exposure.

Believe me, Dalton, nobody's interested in seeing your dick, no matter how small it is!


Now, we're still on probation for the slightly misguided Blue Mooning episode,

and those pricks at the administration are just looking for a reason to cut our balls off, guys.

So I will sacrifice one night of a drunken stupor so my brothers can live to party

another day!


The administration can suck my cock!



One, two, one, two, three!

ALL: We are KLG!

One, two, one, two, three!

ALL: We are KLG!

(dance music playing)

Oh, my God, that's Madison Montgomery.

Now, that's what I'm talking about.

That's prize tuna right there.

She's way out of your league.

What's a girl got to do to get a drink around here?

Come with me. Can't get a bite if you don't dangle your bait in the water.

(indistinct crowd chatter)


(laughter and chatter)


(dance music playing)

Thought you looked thirsty.

Is that your superpower?

You can sense dehydration?

One of them.


Frat boy, right?

I think frats are full of fascists.

I don't mind being reduced to a stereotype, but... I'm on a scholarship.

My mom lives down in the Ninth Ward. Besides, didn't you come here with a movie star?



You want to be my slave tonight?

What's in it for me?

Are you stupid?

Slaves get nothing.

Now why don't you get me another drink?

(Madison sighs)

It's on.

(indistinct crowd chatter)




Really? A finishing school?

Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies.


I don't want to talk about me anymore, okay?

You're the first hot girl I ever met who didn't want to talk about herself.

There's got to be something wrong with you.

I know. You have a boyfriend.

No, I don't.

Kyle, I like you.

But it's not gonna work out.

Have you seen Madison?

(panting and moaning)

(moaning continues)

(mattress creaking, panting and moaning)

(distorted moans and panting)

(Madison groans, male grunting)

(soft groan)

(mattress creaking, male grunting)

(loud male grunting)

(Madison groans)

(loud male grunting)

Hey, I can't find her anywhere.

What, you think she ditched you?


I'll look around upstairs.

Hang on.

Brush her hair back so I can see her face.


What the hell are you doing?!


Get off her!

Wait your turn, man.

Are you out of your mind?!


(groans softly)



(quietly mumbles)



Madison, hey. Hey,

did they give you something?


(crowd chatter and screaming)

Whoa, whoa.

It hurts.

Okay, look, stay here, okay? I'm not gonna...

I'm not gonna let 'em get away with this.


Give me the phone, Brener.

Eat shit, Kyle.

Give me the phone, Brener. That's evidence.

Eat shit, Kyle.

I'm calling the cops.


MAN: Hey, hey.

What's going on back there?

Get him off the bus.

Come on, man.

Stop. Stop.


All right, everybody shut up!

(man groans)

All right, everybody shut up!

First thing, delete the videos from your phones.

We stick together.







(glass breaking)


(screaming continues)

(screaming, indistinct shouting)

The Louisiana campus is still in shock over the tragic bus crash last night.

Nine members of the fraternity Kappa Lambda Gamma were on board.

Seven of the boys died on the scene.

Two were rushed to Troost Medical Center where they remain in critical condition.

Officials will not confirm the identities of the deceased.

Hey, I was watching that!

Why? It's yesterday's news.

They got any Greek yogurt?

(quietly): We have to tell somebody what happened.

The one I met-- Kyle-- Madison, he tried to stop it.


Okay, and he was on that bus.


What are we talking

about? The college boys?

Taken in the prime of their lives.

Such a tragedy.

Almost makes you want to cry, doesn't it?

But, then, the world's not gonna miss a bunch of assholes in Ed Hardy T-shirts.

Who are you?

You know, I've got to hand it to you.

A bus flip? That's not easy.

But you were a sloppy, little witch bitch.

Go to hell, you stupid hag.

Say that.

Now, I've read all your files.

And you're never gonna become great women of our clan sitting around here at Hogwarts under the confused instruction of my daughter.

We're going on a field trip.

Jesus. Go change your clothes.

Wear something...

MADISON: Where are we going?

It's too hot.

My freaking vagina is sweating.

To Popp Fountain.

A kind of holy place for our order.

Back in the s, Mary Oneida Toups led an alternative coven down here.

She and her sister witches would gather there, proudly and publicly, very much in the spirit

of the times.

But it was damaged during Katrina.

And the authorities used this as an excuse to declare this sacred space

a safety hazard.

It's been closed off ever since.

ZOE: I don't understand. What are we supposed to do if we can't get in?

Tear the wall down.

When witches don't fight, we burn.

MADISON: This is seriously the worst field trip ever.

Each one of you has a unique gift, but that's not nearly enough to be a real witch.

And you're a real witch?

She's the Supreme.


You know that one-- she's smarter than all of you put together.

VOICE (whispering):

Help me.

Help me.

WOMAN: The New Orleans Preservation

Foundation is proud to presentthe haunted home tour of the notorious

Madame LaLaurie.

This very house, the center of New Orleans high society, was also a place of abject horror.

You want me to get her?


Oh, excuse me. You can't just barge in on the tour without purchasing a ticket.

You're giving us a tour for free.

For free. Of course.

The Code Noir, a decree that dictated the conditions of slavery, did not exist on these grounds.

It was replaced by the Madame's own code of terror.

And the torture she inflicted on her slaves would spawn years of hauntings.

Wasn't this house owned by the guy in Face Off?

WOMAN: Correct, the actor Nicolas Cage was a previous owner.

Madame LaLaurie was infamous for her vanity.

She fought the rigors of age with a sacrament of expensive creams from Europeand something else far more exotic.

Oh, I'm running out.

We gonna have to get some more.

No! Please don't make me.

You think I want to do this?!

You can blame your father and his fresh-faced whore.

Unless you'd like to split your inheritance with an endless parade of colored bastards.


(chains clanging)


(screaming continues)

(speaks softly)


WOMAN: The secret ingredient to the Madame's beauty ritual was a poultice made

from human pancreas.

This is the infamous chamber of horrors.

No flash photography, please.

The attic where Madame LaLaurie inflicted heinous torture upon her slaves.

And where she ultimately met her own demise.

(speaking Creole)

Get off my property!

I've heard that you are in need of my services.

What could a Negress have that I would ever want?

Mo pélé Marie Laveau.

I have the cure for your husband's affliction.

His compulsion for young ladies.

I'll have you flogged for your insolence!

A love potion to ensure fidelity.

If the potion entrances as you promise, your future's assured.

To our future together.



It's like honeysuckle.




Ooh, yes.

(clears throat)

Oh, no.

Oh, God!

What did...?



(coughing) Get it...

Get it out of me.

WOMAN: Unbeknownst to Madame LaLaurie, a slave she had brutallymutilated was

Marie Laveau's lover, and she came to exact her revenge.

(floorboards creaking)

(men coughing)

(wooden creaking)

Mo Cher, what has she done to you?


The potion inflicted its cruel justice, and she got what she richly deserved.

But her body was never found.

To this day, no one knows the final resting place of Madame LaLaurie.

What do you hear?

The lady of the house.

(elevator bell dings)

(elevator bell dings)

(rhythmic beeping, indistinct chatter)

(whooshing and beeping)

(beeping continues)

(indistinct chatter)

(rhythmic beeping)

(indistinct chatter)

Please. Please let it be him, please.

(Zoe sighs)

(rhythmic beeping)

It should have been you, asshole!


It's the second door on your left down the hall.

Make sure you stack 'em vertically.

I'm responsible for those girls.

What if something had happened?

Well, nothing did.

Where's Zoe Benson?

How would I know that?

(horn honking)

Oh, that's my taxi.

Here, darling.

Make sure you tip them generously when they're done.

Where are you going?

Out. Don't wait up.

I have half a mind to enchant the locks after you leave.


Don't make me drop a house on you.

(door creaks and shuts)

ZOE:When the levees broke,the peopleof New Orleans were tested.

Those who stayed,stayed for a reason.

With that came a senseof purpose and community.

That's what happensin a crisis.

All the bullshit falls away,and what's left is justso raw and vulnerable.


It's agony to letpeople see you so exposed.

It takes a huge amountof trust,and for most of us, that trust

was shattered long ago.

But, like it or not,we need each other.

And we need each otherdesperately.


My mother was right.

The world isn't safefor a girl like me.

But maybe I'm not safefor the world, either.

And since I'll never be ableto experience real love,might as wellput this curse to some use.


(rapid beeping)

(long, droning beep)

Excellent work, gentlemen.

Just set it down right here.

Well, I'd thank you, but you're never gonna remember any of this anyhow.

(insects trilling and chirping)

(muffled groaning)


(chains clinking)


(heavy sigh)

(chains clinking)

Come on, Mary Todd Lincoln.

I'll buy you a drink.

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