When you're little, nighttime is scary

Because there are monsters hiding right under the bed.

When you get older, The monsters are different ... Self-doubt ... Loneliness ... Regret.

And though you may be older and wiser, You still find yourself scared of the dark.

I'm crazy. That's what this is ... craziness.

You're not crazy. Then what is this?

What ... what ... what ... what are you?

I'm a dead man who loves you. This is my imagination.

I've always had a very active imagination.

Izzie, you touched me.

I touched you when you were alive, and kissed you.

Everything that's happening has haened.

I'm ... I'm reliving moments. This is just residual grief.

All right, so I guess the only way to test it

Is to do something

We never got a chance to do in real life.

Dr. Yang?

Dr. Hunt.

Are you here for me?

What?

I-i meant my ... my trauma.

I'm here for a possible appy.

The ambulance is on its way in.

Did you want to say something?

H-how'd you beat the ambulance?

I live across the street.

Your sofa sucks.

I can't sleep.

I never went to bed.

You usually read on the bathroom floor?

I didn't want to wake Derek.

These are my mother's journals

From when she was a resident.

I thought we hated your mother. You know, I kinda think now, If I wasn't her child, I would've liked her.

I mean, she was funny and intense.

A lot like Cristina. Oh, yeah."intense" I get from Cristina.

"funny," not so much.

Oh, she takes a while to warm up, But when she does, she's Cristina.

Give her a chance. She's very loyal, And we need allies around here.

What do you think about, uh, what's her name, Your sister lexie? What do I think about her?

Yeah, as an ally for me. My new intern b. F. F.

No, I ... no, no, I don't ... I don't see that. I just ... She was raised right, with parents and rules and smiley-face posters on her wall. Hmm.

It's Cristina. There's an appy.

See? Loyalty.

I'll come with you.

Try to snag some time in the skills lab.

I'll get dressed. Okay.

Hot.

Horny.

Oh, what ... what are you doing out here?

You think you're the only one who paid off a nurse

To page you with an appy? That's not what I meant.

Oh! That's what I meant.

If you're out here, then who's in there with Izzie?

Oh, my god! Derek?

Oh! What?

Oh. What? What's the matter?

Nothing. Nothing. I just, um ... What are you doing dressed? It's 3:00 in the morning. Oh, my god.

Oh! Who's making a porno movie in Izzie's room?

Oh, relax. She's flying solo. That's hot.

Iz, the party's over. We got an appy coming in.

Death, let's go.

She's living here, too, death?

Just for a couple of days, until she gets her own place, And then she's gone. More strays.

No more strays.

Hey, Iz. Iz, come on.

Hey. Hi.

Um, so, Yeah, I'm not ... I'm not ... I'm not feeling that great.

I think I'm gonna skip it. I don't know.

I think I have the flu, or maybe it's food poisoning. I ... you're sweating.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm hot ... And, you know, cold.

Hot and cold. I have the chills.

Yeah, I think I'm just gonna go back to bed.

It didn't sound like you were sleeping.

You know, I could skip the appy and help you out if you want.

No! Noi'm ... I don't want to get you sick, too, so ... What are you all doing here?

Oh, uh, he's mine. I met the ambulance. And she's sharing him with me.

He's mine. I'm on call. Good morning, Dr. Bailey. You look nice today.

Brownnoser. I got here first.

And the chief said I'm the one to watch. Oh, I get it.

It's solo surgery time, and you all have heard, The past two years, the chief has assigned an appendectomy, So you little mini surgeons dragged your butts out of bed

To pick up some final tips from the master.

Yeah, it's kinda cute. All right, I can use two of you. But I'm on call.

I-i just filled Meredith in on the case. Jason kron, 47, Tenderness over mcburney's point.

Huh. Karev, what do you know about Mr. Kron?

I know he's a lucky man to have you as a surgeon.

Arthur soltanoff, 45, fell from a second story window.

Stable vitals, Multiple fractures and lacerations

With evidence of head trauma. Trauma one.

Dr. Bailey, I'm gonna need one of your residents. Me. Mine. I'm on call.

It's yours. Dr. Bailey, we have a patient wi severe abdominal pain.

Can you spare a resident?

All right, Grey and Yang, prep Mr. Kron for surgery.

Karev, you never know.

Severe abdominal pain could become an appendectomy.

Dr. Bailey, I'm here to help in any way that I can.

If there's a patient in pain, I'm there.

Can you feel that? Can you feel that?

There's no need for you to be doing that. I can feel that.

Okay, the residents are here, all of them.

They're in the hospital, so whatever you're doing ... What are you doing?

We gave him an epidural.

And didn't call me? Lexie.

It just happened. You know what? Epidurals don't just happen.

I'm staying at death's.

I could've been here in ten minutes. You're staying at Meredith's?

Lexie. What?

Oh, dude. He peed himself.

We forgot the catheter. No, no catheters.

You want to pee yourself again? No.

It's okay. An epidural, hmm? Wow. I'm impressed.

Death is so wrong about you.

Why? What did she say?

That you're a priss.

Too bad he's not pregnant. We could do a c-section.

We could take out his appendix. Or amputate his foot.

Seriously.

He doesn't need his appendix.

We could take out his appendix. We'll find an empty o. R.

We'll be in and out in an hour.

I'm sitting right here. Oh, you could watch.

We wouldn'even have to put you under.

You'd just stay on the epidural. I'm off tomorrow.

I'd trade and take his shift so he could recover.

But they're all here.

They're busy chasing solo surgeries.

It's a genius idea. We would be rock stars.

No. I draw a line at a tube in my penis.

Line drawn.

Fine.

Do me.

As long as I can do one of you guys next.

Done.

Done.

What do we got?

Massive injuries. Shepherd and hunt are working on him.

Guy was sleepwalking and took a 2-story header

Through a plate glass window.

Night terrors. Can you imagine?

You wake up, you're battered, you're bruised, You don't know where you are or how you

Got there. Yeah, that sounds like my life-

Married, betrayed, gay, abandoned, And then I woke up and had no idea how I got here.

I just figure this is the bottom.

This is as bad as it gets. It can only go up from here.

Left tib/fib. The rest of his trauma series is clear. He needs a head c. T.

He's got free fluid in there. Oh, god. No, ivy, get out of the way!

Dad. Ivy, the mountain lion's right there.

Sir, you're in a hospital. Ivy! Where's my daughter?

Dad, I'm right here! He's gonna kill my daughter. He's still asleep.

Let me go. I've gotta get my daughter.

Calm down. Mr. Soltanoff, calm down

Let go! She needme!

Okay, Bailey's got an appy in o. R. Two, So this floor is out, But outpatient surgery is totally open.

Okay, let's go.

Looking for something? Hi, um, uh ... We were giving sadie the tour.

Uh, this is the o. R. Board. Yeah.

And ... and ... and this is a patient.

Um, you're in good hands. Dr. Grey is an excellent doctor.

What's next on the tour?

Back to skills lab?

Skills lab. Great idea.

Gotta stick with my allies.

Smiley-face posters. That's all I'm saying.

Mrs. Hammer, what seems to be the problem?

Uh, I have this pain in my stomach, And I can't keep food down.

It just goes right through me.

Just tell him your theory, lauren. She has a theory.

Okay, I'm right here. I can speak. She thinks she has stomach cancer

Because the internet told her so.

Yeah, I'm not a hypochondriac, okay?

He's not inside my body. I have a theory, too, by the way.

It's a crazy disease called diarrhea. Seth.

Fine. Shutting up. Let's ... let's take a look.

Okay.

You're not tender over your appendix, So we don't need to take that out.

Well, that's a good thing, right?

I mean, you look upset. Mm, just disappointed ... For you.

I'm gonna have to collect a stool sample.

I can't believe this is happening.

It wasn't a great nose anyway.

Yes, it was. What ... it was a nice nose.

Relax. I was kidding.

It was a gorgeous nose ... Ow.

And it will be again.

Two weeks from now, You won't even be able to tell anything happened. Really?

Mm, three weeks. Four tops. I hate you.

You love me. Ow.

Little pinch. Ow, ow, ow. Ow. Ow.

Oh, come on. That didn't hurt.

Yeah, well, maybe if I was having a good year, It would feel like just a little pinch.

But it hurts, Mark. It hurts a lot. Ow.

You know what?

I was gonna do this with some local, But I think we'll use conscious sedation, That way, when you wake up, your nose will be fixed, And it'll be a whole new day.

Okay, well, at least I'll still have you, right?

You'll still be my friend and have sex with me when I want?

Anytime.

You know, once your face heals.

I hate you.

You love me.

I hit a doctor? I-i don't understand.

What am I even doing here? Your daughter said you were having a bad dream and jumped out of the window. Do you have a history of sleepwalking?

It started a couple of years ago when my wife died.

It scared me so much, I went to one of those sleep clinics.

They said it was stress induced and gave me some clonazepam.

How's that been working?

Well, I'm raising a 13 year old, So stress comes with the job.

I haven't had an Episode in a while.

I must have forgotten to take my pill tonight.

Honey ... I am so sorry.

You must have been so scared.

I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm just worried about you.

I'm sorry.

Dr. Sloan. Hi. Hello.

Do you know where they keep the i. V. Kits in here?

And where the hell are all the damn interns?

Um, the interns are interning.

Busily interning. They're v-very busy.

Dr. Sloan. Little Grey.

I needed some medical supplies.

Found the intern in the supply closet.

Did not invite the intern into the supply closet.

Go away now, Grey.

Thank you.

Stop looking at me like that. I didn't do anything. Don't do anything.

I didn't. Don't.

I didn't.

Dr. Bailey, do you have to visualize the peritoneum?

Mm, depends.

I've seen so many, I can usually just feel it.

Did you split the muscle this way or that way?

This way. No, wait. That ... hold up.

That way. It's the kind of thing that becomes so natural, You don't even think about it after a while.

Okay, the two of you are thinking so hard, You're making me tired just looking at you.

This is so cool.

Cayou guys believe we're actually doing this?

The epidural should be working.

Okay, she's numbed.

We're ready. Okay.

Here we go.

You okay?

I find the fact that you have parents and rules and smiley-face posters oddly comforting.

What?

I'm ready.

Okay, surgical marker. I'm going to Mark the incision.

C-c-can you hold that a little bit closer?

Okay, one-third of theistance

From the anterior superior iliac spine

To the umbilicus.

Okay.

That's right about ... Okay.

It's a great day to save lives, people.

Although, technically your life is just fine and ... It's nighttime.

Oh, but Shepherd always says that and ... would you just go?

Scalpel.

This is a bad idea. This is a really bad idea.

And ... and it's the middle of the night, So our judgment is, you know, it ... it ... it's off.

But we can use this frustration that ... that ... that we're feeling, Th-that's driven us to the point

Where we're about to do a very stupid thing, A thing that I am certain we'd all regret, possibly from jail.

And ... and we can use the frustration for ... for good.

We ... we can ask for more time in the skills lab, And ... and we can ask to observe more surgeries, And we can demand that our residents teach us better.

Or you could just take out my appendix.

Okay, I'm following the taeniae coli down

To expose the appendix. Whoa.

There it is.

Look at that. I want to see.

Get her a mirror.

Ooh. Cool.

Huh. What?

Does it look a little inflamed to you?

It does ... A little. It looks inflamed.

What? Can I see the book?

It's normally only supposed to be 7 to 8 millimeters in diameter.

Yeah. It looks a little big.

If it's inflamed, this isn't routine procedure.

It's a ... We should ... We should call a resident.

We're not calling a resident.

I'm sorry. I'm just ... I'm really freaking out.

Listen, I'm the one laying open on the table here, And e last thing I need is you panicking.

If you can't handle it, leave.

Anybody else?

Kelly clamps and a 2-0 silk.

Your dad around? I need to check his stitches.

He's still having tests.

I'll come back.

How's that doctor my dad hit?

She'll be okay. Tell her I'm really sorry.

Why are you sorry? You didn't hit her.

Yeah. It's just ... If I had been able to get my dad back to bed ... Sometimes I can talk him back to sleep.

But this hasn't happened for a while, right, Him sleepwalking?

Yeah. Right.

When's the last time you slept?

It's okay. I'm not that tired.

Seriously, kid. You should get some rest.

So you diagnosed yourself?

I ordered antibiotics online to kill a staph infection. Oh, my god!

That my husband dismissed as a pimple.

Along with your dermatologist.

Who, like, barely looked at it, okay?

It was a staph infection, seth. It was. And it went away.

After I took the drugs, it went away.

Pimples go away. Well, now you have c-diff, And it's not going away on its own.

Well, how do I treat it? You've basically killed

All the healthy bacteria in your body.

So now we have to introduce new healthy bacteria. Okay.

By, uh, performing

What's called a ... A-a fecal transplant.

Poop?

I need a poop transplant?

Well, we'd feed a small tube up your nose and down into your stomach.

The, uh, donor needs to be

Someone who you share everyday germs with, Typically a spouse.

Admit it was a pimple.

Seth. No, I'm not going to crap into a bowl

Until you admit it was a pimple. Seth.

That's the deal. When you're ready, come and find me.

Come on. Just tell him it was a pimple.

It was not a pimple.

None of my interns are answering their pages.

Did they go home or did they just not ... Hey, you. Where are the other morons?

I don't know. I was just getting candy.

And, um ... I don't know.

Clearly.

I don't know. I don't know anything.

Give me your chocolate.

No, all of it. No, give me that, too.

Where are the stooges?

Well, that moron is a moron, And the othemorons are a. W. O. L.

I need an intern to page me if my guy agrees

To crap. I wonder if they're in the skills lab

Sadie said something about skills lab. Sadie's in the hospital?

All that time in the skills lab is actually paying off.

My interns are still idiots, But at least they're idiots that can put in an i. V.

No, they're just idiots.

So ... What's going on with izz?

I don't know what's wrong with Izzie.

I'm sick of people not talking to each other.

I'm gonna go get my crap chick some crap.

Meredith.

Do you have a sec?

Tw what do you think you're doing?

Charting. I'm only charting.

Well ... Where's ... where's 3 and 4. 2?

I-i don't know. I thought they were ... You know what? Stop talking. Come with me.

You're gonna do the post-op orders on the appy, And you're gna tell me all about whatever trouble

You and your little friends are into.

Do you need a leash? Let's go.

No.

What do you mean, no?

I mean ... I k-kind of can't walk ... Due to the catheter and the epidural?

I can hear your heart beating ... Which is odd, Because they took it out for the autopsy.

This isn't real, is it?

This is real.

Izzie, this is real.

I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed

Because this is like that moment in the morning

When you first wake up and you're still half asleep and everything seems ... Things are possible, dreams feel true, And for that one moment between waking and sleeping, Anything can be real.

And then you open your eyes, and the sun hits you and ... And you realize that ... I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed.

Okay.

Okay.

I-i-i think she's dying.

Her b. P. Is dangerously low. Get out.

We need to push 2 liters of l. R. Should we call a code?

There is no code team in outpatient surgery

In the middle of the night because normally, This procedure would be done by a surgeon in

A regular o. R. Page the chief and go get Bailey and tell her there's an emergency.

You're not to say anything else, and take that crazy look

Off your face.

Hey, how's Mr. Soltanoff?

I think his night terrors are happening more than he knows.

The kid's exhausted.

It's gotta be scary, going to bed at night, Not knowing what you're gonna wake up

To. Sounds like living with Meredith

She takes in strays.

It's your fault, you know.

I never thought about little Grey in that way

Until you told me not to.

Now I can't help it. You planted a seed.

Unplant it.

She wants to tell you something.

I believe that you believe it was a pimple.

Lauren.

That's the best I can do.

I believe that you believe it was ... It was a pimple.

It was a staph infection.

No poo. No poo for you.

All right, wait, dude. She could lie to you and tell you what you want to hear, but she's not.

She's telling you what's real for her.

Stop walking away.

I still think this could be stomach cancer.

And when I get a headache, I think it's a brain tumor.

And I lay awake and feel lumps in my breasts, And then my heart starts to race and I think I'm having a heart attack.

So no, I don't think it was a pimple.

The world is a scary place ... And there are a thousand things a day

That can kill you.

And I don't see how you don't see it.

Dr. Bailey ... There's an emergency in outpatient surgery.

What kind of emergency?

There's a ... It's an emergency.

Please come.

I'd like to do an e. E. G. There's a chance

That your night terrors are caused by a kind of epilepsy

In the frontal lobe of your brain.

I-i went through all that in the sleep clinic

Mm-hmm. As long as I take my meds ... We have reason to believe that the problem

May be a lot worse than you're aware of. I don't understand.

Ivy, how often does your dad sleepwalk?

I slp. I just forgot my meds this time.

No, you didn't.

You took them while I was brushing my teeth

Like you always do, and then you put me to bed

Like you always do, And then you woke up screaming like you always do.

Ivy ... I try to stay awake at night

Because usually I can talk you back to bed.

But tonight, I must have fallen asleep.

Honey, why didn't you tell me?

You said these bad dreams were caused by stress, And I'm your stress. Sweetheart ... You take such good care of me during the day, I thought the least I could do

Was take care of you at night, dad.

But we're saying the nightmares were caused by the epilepsy, Not the stress.

And if the test confirms the epilepsy, You understand what that would mean?

This wasn't my fault?

That it wasn't your fault.

Dad ... Let's get the e. E. G.

Sweetheart.

Denny?

Denny?

Denny?

Denny?

Denny? God. Whoa, whoa. What's all the yelling about?

You can't do that. You can't just disappear.

I thought you were gone. I was just ... I thought you had left me again.

Izzie, I told you, I'm here for you. No, you're not.

You died. You died, and you left me here.

I was left here by myself. You left me ... All alone.

You're not alone anymore.

Why? Why did you come back?

I had moved on. I-i got over you.

I have a life and a job and a boyfriend, And ... and now you're back, and I'm in this room all day, Probably talking to myself.

I'm probably going crazy, And there is a real world out there, And I'm stuck in here with you.

I'm sorry I died.

No. No, screw you.

No, you don't get to apologize for dying.

You don't get to apologize because I killed you! Izzie ... I convinced you to let me cut the l-vad, And I killed you, So you don't get to apologize for dying. Izzie ... Dead people don't apologize. Izzie ... No, just shut up.

Shut up.

I love you.

I love you, too.

What the hell is going on?

We were trying to take out her appendix.

Well, whose foolish idea was that? Mine.

Where are we?

We just found the artery in the mesoappendix.

Apparently the stitches the interns

Did came off. Hand me another 3-0 silk

Damn, I need some more suction.

How's her pressure holding up? 74 systolic.

She is really bleeding.

I can't see anything. The stump isn't closed right

She needs a partial cecectomy. I can't get to the appendiceal artery.

Come on. Yes, you can. You almost had it.

Is your visualization better?

No, I still ... i-i can't see anything. Look, look, don't panic.

Here, put that down.

Feel down for the mesoappendix.

All right, find the pulsations.

Now follow it to the end.

It feels ... Okay, I think I got it.

Good. Here, place your clamp.

Okay, yeah. That's right.

Okay, Grey, you tie it off

While Yang holds the clamp in place.

Stick tie or ligature suture?

Hey, hey, whatever works.

You'll have to do what feels right to you.

Ligature suture.

Are we gonna go to jail?

You're not gonna go to jail

'cause you didn't have the balls to stay in the room.

The rest of us are gonna go to jail.

I just heard.

What the hell happened?

We live together. You should've come to me.

So what, you ... You could've saved me?

No, but maybe I could've stopped you.

No, this isn't about you.

George, this is the one thing that I have done

In the past femonths

That wasn't about getting you to notice me.

I did this. You had nothing to do with it.

This was all me.

Dude.

She's, like, in love with you.

How did you miss that?

It's 9-1-1. I have to go.

Okay, so go.

Is this the part where ... You go back to heaven or wherever, And you and your dead guy friends

Talk about how great it was

That you gave me this last night together, That I ... Needed it to grieve and ve on?

Me and my dead guy friends mostly talk about sports.

Denny.

Izzie, go.

I'm not going anywhere.

We're just about ready.

I'm sorry, honey, for all my crazy.

Don't be sorry.

I love you, even crazy.

Okay, I've taken your crap all these years.

It's finally time for you to take mine.

I'm here for my wife, But I think it's better for our sex life if I don't see this, So I'll be he for her down in the lobby.

No more spikes. We've eliminated the seizure area.

Now he can finally get a dece night's sleep.

How did he not know this was happening?

Wait, why is it his fault for not noticing?

He's going through his life thinking that they had

The kind of relationship where she could talk to him, If she was in trouble, she would tell him.

If you really have feelings for someone, If you really love them, then you talk to them, right?

Maybe she tried.

We don't know what went on between them.

Maybe words failed her.

Sometimes ... Words fail.

Your dad won't be out of surgery

For at least another hour.

You could have a little nap.

What, you're 13, You're hitting the hard stuff?

I like the taste.

I was raised by parents

Who weren't very interested in having kids.

They had friends, they had lives.

They weren't around much at night.

And before I went to bed, I'd turn on all the tvs ... Every light in the house, even in the closets.

Still couldn't sleep.

It's hard to sleep

When you don't feel safe in your own house, isn't it?

Give me that.

You are going to sleep.

No.

I'm not taking no for an answer.

Close your eyes. I'll be here.

Go on ... Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

I was sleeping, And sleep isn't easy for me to come by.

But I was finally sleeping, then I get a call ... I can't believe it. I still can't believe it.

Don't beat yourself up too much about it.

I've seen a lot of maturity in the two of you

Through this whole mess.

You handled the crisis, you handled the surgery, You saved that girl's life.

And you called for help right away.

There was a time not so long ago

That you would've reached a different conclusion.

You could've stuck to the code and saved your own, Tried to hide the whole mess.

You know, sometimes protecting your colleagues is solidarity.

And sometimes it's just hubris.

I'm glad to see you know the difference. Chief, you don't ... I-i can't let you two get in trouble for this.

Lexie ... no, it's not right. People tried to stop me.

Dr. Yang told me yesterday to shut it down, But I didn't listen. You knew about this yesterday?

Sir, I ... did you know?

No.

You knew? You knew ... No!

They were gonna cut her open? No!

Lexie just said you knew. Sutures.

I knew they were doing sutures on themselves and I didn't think I needed to say anything

Because I had shut it down, I had handled it. Apparently you didn't, Because it almost cost lexie her job

Not to mention that sadie almost died in there.

Okay, you know what? Sadie did that to herself and let's not pretend

That you have some sort of relationship with lexie.

Let's not pretend that you care about her. I care about my job, And I care about doing the right thing.

Who are you to lecture me on doing the right thing

Are you kidding me? You're not an attending, Meredith.

You may be sleeping with one, But you aren't one yet. Is that what this is about ... Derek

It's always gonna be about Derek? Okay, fine, It's not about Derek. It's about you and me and the fact that you didn't have my back in

That room. What would you have wanted me to say

I don't know. Anything. You should've said anything.

You have a relationship with the chief.

You have his ear, But you didn't say anything to defend me.

Because this isn't just on me.

I mean, you just stood there, And you watched him take me out of the running for solo surgery.

You let me take all the blame, But the fact is that we all had interns in that room.

We all failed to supervise them.

And if your friend had died in there, If you and I hadn't saved her life, That would've been on all of us, too.

You should've said that.

Why are you looking at me?

We were just wondering ... The interns ... What you're going to say to them.

D ... unh-unh. No, no. I'm tired.

I'm not saying anything to the interns.

I raised my babies. You were my babies.

Now you all grown folks.

It's on you. You raise your own babies.

So we have to talk to 'em?

Your babies. What do we say?

Do you really need a speech from me, At this point, after all this time?

Because, I mean, if you do, you shouldn't even be here.

If you do, then I haven't raised you right, And I know I raised you right.

No, you don't get a speech from me.

It's time for you to make your own speeches.

Dr. Grey, present.

Sadie harris, 30, Three hours status post-appendectomy

Complicated by severe hemorrhaging.

Death, what is this? Dr. Spalding.

Vitals stable, triple antibiotic coverage.

She should fully recover within two weeks.

And?

And ... We, your surgeons ... Made mistakes that compromised your care, Mistakes that reflect poorly on this hospital and that won't happen again.

Effective immediately, Every intern here is on probation.

So much as sneeze ... And you're done.

None of you will see the inside of an o. R.

Until further notice.

You've lost the chief's respect, which, believe me, Is not an easy thing to get back.

And speaking for myself, you've lost my respect, And you probably won't ever get that back.

But he still respects Izzie Stevens. What did you say?

You seem to still respect Izzie Stevens, And she killed a patient.

She was trying to save a man's life.

And you almost killed a friend for fun.

It's different.

How you doing?

Oh ... They give good drugs here.

Do I look bad?

Oh, you look beautiful.

Just badge of honor all over your face.

I'm sorry.

Did I hear correctly, That the, um, interns went scalpel crazy?

Yes, you did.

Oh, crazy.

I don't know that they were ... crazy.

I can remember what it's like ... being an intern, Just loving medicine, Being so excited by surgery, Wanting to operate so badly that I'd do anything ... That I couldn't stop bouncing up and down long enough

To even hold a scalpel.

Now ... Now?

Girl, I can do most of my surgeries

Without even thinking about it.

It's like I'm driving.

You know, suddenly I'm at home, I don't even know how I got there.

It's rote.

I don't even remember most surgeries ... Most of the lives I save.

And the residents, they're working so hard, Just working like crazy to get to do a solo surgery

That I have come to hate.

I hate appys.

Just ... appys bore me.

I resent the appendix for bothering to get hot and needing to come out.

I resent an organ. That's ... I don't know.

Maybe I don't want to do general surgery after all.

Maybe I need a new challenge.

Maybe I need something to make me bouncup and down.

Maybe I'm just tired.

It's okay ... To be tired.

Right?

You're tired, too?

I'm exhausted.

Deep-down-inside exhausted.

I just ... I want ... I don't know.

But I want something.

Well, that makes two of us.

Sleep ... It's t easiest thing to do.

You just ... Close your eyes.

Okay, fine. The surgery was a bad idea.

No, it was a terrible idea.

And speaking as your boss, It was an irresponsible and reckless idea

That makes me seriously question

If you have what it takes to be a good doctor. Death ... And as your friend ... What the hell is going on with you?

I don't know.

But for so many of us, Sleep seems out of our grasp.

Thank you.

Your mom used to see how tired I was.

She used to make you bring me home

'cause I was all alone and needed a family.

That was a good thing.

So either you bring her home, or I will.

We want it, But ... We don't know how to get it.

I don't know why I came here.

Do you wt to come in?

No. No. I-i don't think that'd be appropriate.

Well, do you want to go someplace else?

No.

I think you're beautiful.

But once we face our demons ... Face our fears ... Lexie's here. Yeah.

Are you making up a bed for her? Yeah.

You brought home a stray.

And turn to each other for help ... I'm gonna try to grab some sleep.

I gotta be back at the hospital in six hours.

Okay. Okay.

No, Alex, wait. Um ... I'm a mess.

I'm a flat-out, freaking mess. I know that.

I know and ... I'm sorry. You deserve a lot better.

Stop.

Look, if you don't want to be with me, If this is too much for you right now, That's okay.

But you're gonna have to break up with me, 'cause I'm not going anywhere.

I can handle the mess.

So it's up to you.

You coming?

I'm sorry.

I can't ... It's okay.

I'll be right here.

It's okay.

Nighttime isn't so scary because ... We realize we aren't all alone in the dark.