Episode 620 - Catch-22

In this episode: Pacey is ordered by his superiors to sell stock owned by his biggest client just days before a federal ruling, but the consequences are severe when Pacey is accused of insider trading and realizes that the money he invested for Dawson is gone. Back at school, Eddie surprises Joey with a trip to Europe for the summer, but a fiery conversation about how differently they live their lives leaves both of them questioning their future together.

Original Airdate: April 23, 2003

[Scene: A fancy restaurant. Pacey is sitting alone at a table, like he is waiting for someone, when the waitress comes back to see if they need anything.]

Waitress: Do you need anything else, sir? More bread, perhaps?

Pacey: Not bread, but I will take another one of these. And you don't have to call me sir. It kind of creeps me out.

Waitress: Yes, sir. Sorry. I'll be leaving now.

[The waitress makes a clumsy exit, when the good looking report comes up and takes the seat across from Pacey]

Sadia: Hello. Did you miss me?

Pacey: I did, but the waitress was totally flirting with me, so it was all right.

Sadia: Ooh, that sounds like fun.

Pacey: It was, but she's not really my type.

Sadia: Good. What is your type, exactly?

Pacey: Generally I tend to prefer the brainy brunettes with brown eyes.

Sadia: Can I ask you something?

Pacey: Feel free.

Sadia: Why did you wait so long to ask me out?

Pacey: Well, for a while there I was otherwise engaged, but I've taken care of that now, I promise.

[The waitress brings his drink]

Pacey: Thank you.

[He takes the drink and raises it.]

Pacey: So without further ado, I'd like to propose a toast if I may.

Sadia: You may.

Pacey: To getting to know each other better.

Sadia: Much better.

[Opening Credits]

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: Joey's Dorm room. Joey is lying on her bed studying for her final, as Eddie is sitting on the floor in front of her bed leaning on it, and picks up the book “Catch-22” which was lying on the floor next to him.]

Eddie: Well, Joey, that's not the overriding message.

Joey: Yes, it is. Untimely, Yossarian must accept that he's trapped in an insane world.

Eddie: No, but he escapes in the end, so there's hope.

Joey: Hope for what?

Eddie: Well, the beauty is we don't know, but his escape is a testament to the power of one man's struggle against the system.

Joey: Hetson's interpretation is much bleaker.

Eddie: Why does that not surprise me? You know, if all you're gonna do on this final exam is just regurgitate everything Hetson said in class, you're not really developing a mind of your own.

Joey: I'll develop a mind of my own later. Right now I have to ace this final. You remember a certain incident that happened the last time I took a final for this man?

[Audrey comes into the dorm room]

Audrey: This isn't happening.

Joey: What's wrong?

Audrey: God is punishing me. Here. Read this.

[she throws an envelope over to Joey who opens it]

Audrey: After my long and protracted battle with a serious substance abuse problem, the heartless administration of this esteemed university is gonna kick me out!

Eddie: That seems pretty harsh.

Audrey: I know.

Joey: Audrey, this is just a letter from the dean saying if you sign up for summer school you can stay.

Audrey: The dean can bite me, Jo.

Joey: You missed almost an entire semester.

Audrey: What am I gonna do? I'm gonna be, like, alone here in this box all summer. You leave in 2 days, right?

Joey: Not by choice, but yeah.

[Audrey gets up and grabs her coat]

Joey: Where are you going?

Audrey: To negotiate.

Joey: I don't think this is negotiable.

Audrey: Everything is negotiable.

[Audrey leaves the room again.]

Eddie: Remind me again. You are friends with her because...

Joey: She saved my life once in a bar in Calcutta.

Eddie: Right.

Joey: Which brings up an excellent point, Eddie. We're getting kicked out of our little love nest by week's end.

Eddie: At which point we're gonna move into my car, which I've got parked down by the river.

Joey: That is not the plan.

Eddie: That's my plan.

Joey: Oh, yeah? I thought we were gonna get jobs in the cape this summer, and live at my sister's and save money.

Eddie: Right, and endure weekly interrogations from your father about the lack of prospects for my future.

Joey: You're starting school in the fall at one of the most prestigious writing programs in the country.

Eddie: Yes, yes, I know. In California. And if we're gonna be forced apart by geography in 3 short months, I'm not gonna spend that time bussing tables. I've got some bigger plans in mind.

Joey: And what do these bigger plans entail?

Eddie: Oh, no. No, right now you need to focus on one thing, and one thing only. And after the exam, Jo, all will be revealed.

Joey: Well, and what if I can't wait that long?

Eddie: I think you can.

Joey: Maybe I'll just have to use my feminine wiles to pry it out of you.

[She kisses him, but he slowly pulls away smiling.]

Eddie: My lips are sealed, Jo.

Joey: Uh-huh.

Eddie: Nice try.

Joey: You officially suck.

[Scene: The help center. David is on the phone trying to help a student on the other end, when Jack comes in and sees him and quietly makes his way over to David's desk.]

David: Yeah, yeah, you know, I'm pretty sure you don't want to mix mountain dew with Nodoze. Why? Because they both contain a lot of caffeine, and-- yeah, yeah, that Queens of the Stone Age album does really rock. It's one-- um, first thing you need to do is take a deep breath. Good. Now, find somebody in your class, borrow their notes, and-- ok, yes, yes. We're here 24/7. You can call back anytime. Ok? All right. Good luck.

[David hangs up the phone.]

Jack: Rough day?

David: Yeah, exams bring out the worst in people.

Jack: The important thing is you talked him down from mountain dew and Nodoze. That can be a deadly combination.

David: Yeah, I've done a real service to humanity. Did you need something?

Jack: So this whole mad thing hasn't worn off yet, huh?

David: Speak quickly, Jack. The phone could ring again at any second, and the problems of a feckless ex-boyfriend aren't much compared with the suicidal anguish of graduating seniors.

Jack: Can we just stop this, please? Can we just talk? At least give me the same chance you give any random stranger on the end of that phone. Just meet with me for an hour-- for half an hour, even.

David: Maybe.

Jack: Maybe?

David: Yes. Maybe. I need some time to think about it.

Jack: Cool. Very cool. How much time?

David: I don't know. Look, I'll--I'll call you.

Jack: Or--or you know, you could just meet me down at hell's kitchen tonight if you want.

David: I can't tonight. I have a test tomorrow.

Jack: Tomorrow-- tomorrow's fine. Like, I don't know-- what? After 8:00?

David: I'm working until 9:00.

Jack: So you're-- you're coming?

David: I said I would think about it.

Jack: Ok.

David: Listen, I'm busy here, so...

Jack: Sure. Yeah. Understood.

[Scene: The conference room at Pacey's workplace. There are a lot of young people all sitting around the table when Pacey comes walking into the room, and begins walking around the table.]

Pacey: Good morning, gentlemen. I had sex with a beautiful woman last night. Now, this should not have happened. She was way out of my league, and I even like to think that I'm a fairly handsome guy, but I'm not that handsome, and I like to think that I'm pretty good in bed, but I'm not that good. How does something like that happen? I'll tell you. I'm 20 years old, and I am doing exactly what I was put on this earth to do. I am making money... hand over fist... faster than I know how to spend it. And let's tell the truth. You all came here today because you're trying to escape the miserable bottom-feeding existence that you've been living that has denied you what is rightfully yours. If you want this for yourselves, you can have it. But I'm here to tell you, you will get your asses kicked on a daily basis, but you will learn. And ultimately, you will do what you were put on this earth to do, which is make money. Now, if any of you are still interested in this proposition, be here 9 A.M. Sharp Monday morning. If you are late, do not come into my building. Turn around, go home, and prepare yourselves for a life in retail. I'll see you then.

[He leaves the conference room, and meets Rich outside the by some desks.]

Rich: Hey. How'd it go?

Pacey: How do you think it went? I learned from the best, right?

Rich: That's sweet. You wanna make out or...

Pacey: Maybe later. I gotta brush my teeth.

Guys: Whoo!

Pacey: What the hell is all that about?

Rich: That, Mr. Witter, is the sound of blood rushing to the nether regions.

Pacey: Let me guess. The Stepatech approval went through?

Rich: Not quite yet, amigo, but that stock is still climbing.

Pacey: Ok, good enough.

Rich: Why don't you call Roger and congratulate him.

Pacey: Will do, boss.

Rich: Ooh, ah, hey... that date with Sadia last night-- did you close the deal?

Pacey: Why don't you just ask those guys in there?

Rich: Oh, that does it, Witter. I used to be mildly impressed. Now I am in awe. Nicely done my friend. Nicely done.

Pacey: You know, that's just what she said.

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: Pacey's bedroom. Pacey is asleep in bed with Sadia wrapped up in his arms. She rolls over and gives him a kiss and he slowly awakes and kisses her back without opening his eyes, and hoping he is meeting her lips.]

Pacey: Mmm. Mmm. Well, that is definitely one of the better ways to start the day.

Sadia: Well, I do have a few other tricks up my sleeve, but I thought I'd keep it simple. I didn't want to blow your mind just yet.

Pacey: Oh, my god, woman, you are way out of my league.

Sadia: I know. I know

[Pacey stretches and grabs the remote and turns the TV on.]

Pacey: Oh. Uh... hold on one sec. Excuse me. I'm sorry, but today's the day that the FDA is ruling on Stepatech's miracle flu thingie.

Sadia: Thingie? How can you be so excited about something that you refer to as a thingie?

Pacey: I know. I'm sorry, but... I have a lot of money wrapped up in this thingie. And this thingie is gonna buy me a new car. Maybe even a new house.

Sadia: Wait a minute. How did someone as young as you get to be so career obsessed?

Pacey: I used to be obsessed about a lot of other things.

Sadia: Mm-hmm.

Pacey: Well, mostly girls, really. And then with this one recent dalliance, that probably was better left in the past, I realized that a career is actually a very healthy obsession. No offense, of course.

Sadia: None taken. And it's not like you're my boyfriend or anything. I have one of those, and, quite frankly, they're overrated.

Pacey: I wholeheartedly concur.

Sadia: Mm-hmm. And this other girl? Well, she doesn't know what she's missing.

Pacey: Well, like I said, she's in a past life, and I'm quite happy with the life I'm leading. And as they say, I always have my work.

Sadia: And then there's me.

Pacey: And then there's you, which is proof positive that there is, in fact, a god, and that Pacey J. Witter is his favorite son.

Sadia: What does the "J" stand for?

Pacey: Wouldn't you like to know?

Sadia: Well, if you wanted me to torture you, Pacey, all you had to do was ask.

Pacey: Really?

Sadia: Mm-hmm.

[She climbs on top of him, and he turns the TV off, and throws the remote.]

[Scene: Hetson's classroom. Joey and Eddie are sitting at one of the tables with coffee cups strewn across the table and Joey is studying hard from her books, as Eddie watches on.]

Eddie: So what do you say? More coffee?

Joey: More coffee? How could I possibly drink any more coffee? We've been sitting here engaged in this pre-test caffeination for 2 hours now.

Eddie: I didn't want you to be late, now, did I?

[Eddie kisses her]

Joey: I seem to recall this is how my academic downfall began in the first place.

[Hetson comes walking into the room, and goes over to his desk.]

Hetson: Well, if it isn't Bonnie and Clyde.

Eddie: Don't T.A.S usually monitor these exams?

Hetson: You've forgotten about my bionic hearing, Mr. Doling. And believe it or not, I actually enjoy proctoring my own exams. I mean, I figure if Nabokov had time to do it while he was teaching at Cornell, really, who am i to put myself so far above the little people?

Joey: In other words, he derives some sick pleasure from watching us squirm.

Hetson: I can see over the course of the last 2 semesters that you've learned how to read me. Whether or not you've acquired a similar mastery of post-war American literature really remains to be seen.

[Eddie turns to Joey and talks quietly to her.]

Eddie: You know, I never did get a chance to thank him for his recommendation.

Joey: And you're going to do it now?

Eddie: Yeah. What's the worst that could happen?

Joey: I don't know. He could be incredibly rude and ungracious, say something mean and unforgivable, and you could punch him in the face again.

Eddie: I'm not gonna punch him in his face again. [she gives him a dirty look] What? You don't think I'm capable of being the bigger person here?

Joey: I know that you're the bigger person. I just think you're underestimating how small he can be.

Eddie: Well, I refuse to accept that.

[Eddie goes over to Hetson's desk.]

Eddie: Hey, uh... professor Hetson.

Hetson: Mr. Doling, how can I help you?

Eddie: Actually, - I kind of thought maybe I'd like to, uh, to thank you, for, you know, helping me out with that school thing.

Hetson: You kinda thought... maybe you'd like to thank me? Your eloquence astounds me.

Eddie: Yeah, well, I kinda thought maybe I'd like to thank you, but now that I've heard the tone of your response, I'm thinking maybe I should just bail on the whole concept.

Hetson: Well, that is your specialty, isn't it?

[Joey gets up and goes to get in the middle of them before anything can happen.]

Joey: Ok, you two. Did I not say this was going to happen?

Eddie: Hey, he started it.

Joey: Let me know when you've returned from the third grade. In the meantime, all he was trying to say is thank you. 2 simple words. And I believe the appropriate response is "you're welcome," maybe "good luck in future endeavors."

Hetson: Well, whatever.

Joey: Whatever. I encourage you to accept this "whatever," as I believe this is the best you'll ever do.

Eddie: Whatever.

Joey: Great. My work here is done. Now can you please leave? Because I fear all of this spontaneous outpouring of emotion is really throwing me off my test game.

Eddie: Whatever.

Joey: Great. Good-bye.

Eddie: All right. Bye.

[Scene: Pacey's Office. His secretary leans in the door to tell him that he has a call on the line.]

Secretary: Dawson leery.

Pacey: Excellent. Put him right through.

[We see Dawson on the other end of the phone and he is painting a room at his house green.]

Pacey: Dawson. What's up, man?

Dawson: Hey, Pace, not much. Um, listen, I've been thinking.

Pacey: Let me guess. You're nervous, right?

Dawson: Nervous? Who, me? Thousands of dollars at play in the stock market which, from what I understand, can only be described as globally weak? Nah. Who's nervous?

Pacey: Ok, well, how about this? You just trust me, and I promise that everything will be all right. Have I ever let you down in the past? Actually, you know what? Don't answer that.

Dawson: [Laughs] Um, but seriously, I'm not nervous, I just--I'm thinking it might be time to cash out. I've got a lot of film to buy, and from what I can understand, that's gonna be my biggest expense, so...

Pacey: Ok, Dawson, here's the deal. I know that you need to make money, and that you need to make it fast, so what I've done for you is invested you in this biotech company called Stepatech. They have a miracle flu vaccine that is up for approval by the FDA right now, and the word on the street is it's a shoo-in. So if you can hold on for just a few more days, I promise you it will be worth your while. It'll be like the difference between making El Mariachi and Clerks.

Dawson: Ok, well, at least that's jargon I understand. Um...I guess in the spirit of clerks, I could charge the film. I've been applying for credit cards like crazy, and 2 of them came in the mail today.

Pacey: I think that's what commonly known as a sign, my friend.

Dawson: Maybe so. Maybe so.

Pacey: Ok, so we're cool here, right?

Dawson: What--I don't know. It's all something out of a David Mamet movie to me. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but I trust you. Keep me posted.

Pacey: Will do. Talk to you later, man.

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: Outside along on of the Campus streets. Joey and Eddie are walking and talking to one another, later in the evening. Joey has finished up her exams.]

Joey: I mean, what kind of a sadist asks for things like Lolita's married name, or what day of the week it was on the first page of gravity's rainbow?

Eddie: Well, I don't know, Jo. I'd say that that depends.

Joey: On?

Eddie: On whether or not you knew the answers to any of those 2 questions.

Joey: Schiller.

Eddie: And?

Joey: Monday.

Eddie: So we're talking about completely acing it here, not just sliding by or a partial ace?

Joey: No.

Eddie: No.

Joey: I had complete and total mastery of every arcane fact in Hetson's universe. So? Are we gonna celebrate or what?

Eddie: Of course.

Joey: Well, does this celebration involve anything other than standing here?

Eddie: So now that my usefulness as your study partner has ended, you just want to skip to the present part.

Joey: I thought you said it was a surprise?

Eddie: Well, you know, present-slash-surprise.

Joey: Well, whatever it is, is it coming anytime soon?

Eddie: Um...yeah, actually. It is.

[Clears throat and hands her his backpack]

Eddie: Here. I wrapped it myself.

Joey: Yeah, I can--I can see that.

Eddie: You don't like it.

Joey: Oh, no. I--I-- I don't know what to say. You're giving me your backpack.

Eddie: Joey, it's not my backpack. I mean, I bought this special just for you. In fact, you know, there may be something inside here. You probably should check.

Joey: I should check?

Eddie: Yeah. Yeah. Just in case there's an additional level of--of gift.

[She opens the bad and pulls out a book “Europe for $5 a day.]

Joey: I don't get it.

Eddie: That girl who was always telling me how she could have gone to Paris. Well, I think it's about time that she put her money where her mouth is. And I'm not talking about just Paris here, Joey. I'm talking about Barcelona and Madrid and Vienna and Prague and wherever. I mean, the sky's the limit, Jo. And all you have to do is just say yes.

Joey: Are you serious?

Eddie: Completely. I want every moment we spend together this summer to be...historic. And I figure the best way to do that is to, you know, go to where the history is. So what do you say?

Joey: Oh, my god! Yes! Yes!

[She jumps and gives him a huge hug]

[Scene: Hell's Kitchen. David comes walking up to the bar, and looks through the window to see Jack sitting at one of the tables talking to some guy, and we can see the jealous look on his face again. David goes in and the guy is leaving the table when David starts to make his way over to join Jack.]

Guy: All right, Jack, I'll see you then.

Jack: Ok, I'll see you.

David: Hey.

Jack: Hey. Thanks for coming.

David: Uh, have you been waiting long?

Jack: No. Actually, I ran into a guy from my sociology class.

David: Yeah, I--I saw.

Jack: Look, that's--that's not what you think, all right? That's completely innocent.

David: By which you're implying that the thing the other night wasn't.

Jack: You're not even giving me a chance here, are you? Man, it's like you structured this whole scene before you even walked into the place.

David: I had 2 versions, actually.

Jack: Let me guess. The version you're gonna use is the one where I'm the bad guy?

David: Yeah. You led me on, you know. The Halloween party where we first met. You led me to believe you were one of the undead.

Jack: Come on. Look, if you're not gonna take this seriously—

David: I'm being serious. I have a serious Tom Cruise/vampire lestat fantasy that I need to fulfill while I'm still young. Which is why I'm breaking up with you.

Jack: What?

David: Yeah. Yeah, you know, it has to be done. I was kidding myself—

Jack: Whoa, whoa. Hold on-- hold on a second. If you think I'm gonna let you walk out of here like this, I mean, come on, David. This isn't how I wanted this to turn out.

David: Well, guess what? It is, so it sucks for you, huh? Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe you're gonna get off easy after all. It's only my heart that's gonna get even the slightest bit broken.

Jack: Why do you say things like that? I wouldn't be here tonight if I didn't want to make this work.

David: Yeah, and you wouldn't be here at all unless you were trying to prove something to yourself.

Jack: Prove what?

David: Look, Jack... I want what everybody wants. I want to be important to somebody. Maybe you want that, too, but... if you do, to be honest, I can't really see it, because all I see when I look at you is somebody who's going through the motions of being in a relationship because he thinks it's the right thing to do. I don't know. I just know that that isn't enough for me. So... good-bye.

Jack: Wait. You're just gonna walk away?

David: Have a good summer, Jack, and keep in touch.

[David leaves and Jack can do nothing but stare in disbelief]

[Scene: Joey's Dorm room. Eddie and Joey are sitting on her bed looking at maps of Europe spread out on it and held open by many other books on Europe. ]

Eddie: So Prague first and then Budapest? Or would it make more sense to do it the other way around? Or we could just skip central Europe and stay longer in Spain-- Espanola.

Joey: No, we can't skip Prague. We have to see the castles, plus we owe it to Kafka and Milan Kundera.

Eddie: You know, I might just have to implement a rule that limits you to only one writer's grave per country.

Joey: Well, that's never, ever going is it?

Eddie: Why not?

Joey: Because when we get to France, how are we ever gonna choose between Proust and Flaubert?

Eddie: Aren't they the same guy?

Joey: Kiss me, and I promise never to tell Hetson you uttered such blasphemy!

Eddie: Deal.

[They kiss]

Joey: But if we do actually do this, there's probably something else you need to know about me-- something I've never told you before.

Eddie: I already know. I know you snore.

Joey: In addition to my love for literature, I also have a great and profound appreciation for the visual arts.

Eddie: Oh, what? Like, um, David, Sistine Chapel, the Mona Lisa-- that type of stuff?

Joey: No, don't think you're just gonna get away with the renaissance. I'm talking Picasso in Paris, the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam—

Eddie: Ok, ok. I get it. I get it. So what you're saying is that you want to do everything.

Joey: Yes! Yes. Well, everything within reason.

Eddie: Within reason?

Joey: Well, yeah, I mean, we should be somewhat practical about this.

Eddie: You want to be practical about running away together?

Joey: Well, Eddie, I mean, running away together isn't as easy as it looks on TV. I mean, believe me. I've done it before. And we're gonna get back in the fall. We're gonna be starting school. We're gonna be completely broke.

Eddie: So?

Joey: So that thought doesn't terrify you?

Eddie: No, not more than the thought of not spending the summer with you. Or not seeing your face the first time you see the Eiffel tower, or the London bridge, or the plaza San Marco in Venice. You know, it's not like either of us have any money now. I mean, we're broke. So what? We start over. Rebuild things from scratch.

Joey: With you in California and me here?

Eddie: And a whole lifetime's worth of memories. Things that'll never leave us no matter how broke we get.

Joey: Eddie... all I'm saying is that... running away together, no matter how romantic and magical it all seems at the time, it doesn't solve anything, ok? So whatever it is that you're running away from, whether it be circumstances or geography, you know, fate, another person, it's always gonna be there when you get back.

Eddie: Ok, so what would you suggest to solve these problems, Joey? I mean, what do you want to do? Just ignore the opportunities that come our way?

Joey: No! I'm just--I'm trying to be practical.

Eddie: Which means what, exactly?

Joey: Maybe we should just wait. You know, scale back a little.

Eddie: Scale back?

Joey: Yeah. Maybe work for a month or two and then go.

Eddie: Joey, we're gonna spend the rest of our lives working.

Joey: Yeah, and we have the entire summer to take this trip. Nobody said we have to go tomorrow.

Eddie: I do.

Joey: What?

Eddie: You don't-- you don't even really want to do this, do you?

Joey: Of course I want to do this.

Eddie: Yeah, but only on your terms.

Joey: Well, whose terms am I supposed to be doing this on, Eddie? I mean, if I'm gonna throw my life entirely off course for the chance—

Eddie: Oh, my god. What are you talking about? Throwing it off course? I'm not asking you to throw your life off course, Joey. I'm talking about a summer here. All I'm asking is that you take a leap. Come away with me.

Joey: Oh, like Saul Bellow or on the road? Eddie, those are just stories--poems. Little pieces of unreality that we're not meant to base our lives on. Eventually we always have to come back and deal with the real world.

Eddie: So what? What are you gonna do? You just wanna sit here for your entire life waiting and hoping for the world to come to you? Because the point of those stories, Joey, is that people's lives-- their real lives-- only begin when they step out into the world. And when you do that, when you meet it head on, maybe you change the world, maybe you don't, but the point is, is that it changes you. And that is what people mean when they talk about growing up.

Joey: So what? If I want to be with you, I'm supposed to just throw all of my previous life experience out the window? I'm supposed to just stop being who I am?

Eddie: Who you are, Joey, is not some scared little girl who's afraid to take a chances on anything, who's afraid to really love someone because of the risk or the pain. That does not define you as a person. Or maybe it does, you know? Maybe--maybe I'm crazy. Maybe you've just blinded me.

Joey: Are you done? You should probably find somewhere else to sleep tonight.

[He grabs his coat and leaves.]

[Scene: Pacey's work place. Pacey walks in carrying his brief case and a coffee, and notices the deathly quietness of the room. No one is talking, and no acivity can be heard on the phones.]

Pacey: Hi, guys.

[Pacey sees Rich in the conference room with papers spread across the table and he is talking on the phone. He makes his way over to him.]

Rich: Believe me, it's like a morgue around here. Hey, look, I took a major hit, too. All right. I'll talk to you soon. And do me a favor. Stay away from open windows. I don't want to hear about how they had to scrape you off the sidewalk or something.

[The guy hangs up on Rich.]

Rich: He didn't think that was very funny.

Pacey: Yeah, go figure. What the hell is happening here, Rich?

Rich: First of all, you're late. Where the hell you been? Ah, forget it. I don't want to hear about your sexual exploits with Lois Lane. I'm depressed enough as it is.

Pacey: I'm being serious. What's going on?

Rich: What the hell do you think, dumbass? FDA issued their ruling this morning. Big fat rejection.

Pacey: But Rich, you said Stepatech was a sure thing.

Rich: Yeah, well, so did everyone else. Turns out Roger's miracle flu medication has a bunch of nasty side effects the FDA does not wish to inflict on the American public at this time.

Pacey: Rich, this is a disaster.

Rich: Settle down, rookie. I've seen worse. I've lost more. We'll get over it. Live to trade another day.

Pacey: Live to trade another day? I've been shoving Stepatech down my client's throats for 6 months.

Rich: Pacey, stock market 101-- biotech stocks are sketchy, especially these days. You're going to get screamed and yelled at today, but it's not your fault. It's just a professional hazard.

[Pacey suddenly realizes what has occurred, and it has truly hit him.]

Rich: Oh, man, you all right? You look like you're going to toss your cookies.

Pacey: No, I'll be fine.

Rich: Listen... take a deep breath. Go back to your office. You probably have a hundred phone calls to return by now. Listen to 'em, be concerned, be sympathetic, but be strong. And remember, they got themselves into this mess, not you. Got it? Now get out of here. Get to work.

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: Hetson's Office. Joey is sitting in the chair in front of his desk, when Hetson comes walking in carrying a pile of test papers.]

Hetson: So Potter... here we are again, right back where we started from. Advisor... advisee... and you still no closer to having declared a major.

Joey: I didn't want to give you the satisfaction, but...English.

Hetson: English.

Joey: Yeah. I mean, I can always change it later to something like marine biology, but... can I go now?

Hetson: What, no interest in tripping down memory lane with me?

Joey: Not particularly, no. I do have other things on my plate at the moment.

Hetson: Yeah, um... that first time you came to my office here, that was your birthday, right?

Joey: My birthday?

Hetson: Yeah.

Joey: The day before my birthday.

Hetson: So how was it?

Joey: My birthday?

Hetson: Yeah. Sorry I didn't get you anything.

Joey: You know what? I realize that this is very exciting for you, sitting me down and reminding me how I wasted an entire year of my life and never really actually lived up to my academic potential. But...

[He hands her, her test paper.]

Hetson: You more than lived up to your potential, Joey.

Joey: An A-minus? This means...

Hetson: Factoring in all your papers from this semester and last brings your grade to a c-plus for the year. Just slightly above average. You got a problem with that?

Joey: No. No.

Hetson: You know, the sad thing is that I almost gave you an "A." I went back and forth about it, and then... ultimately, I found your essay on Catch-22 a little bleak.

Joey: You found it bleak?

Hetson: It's a story of hope, Joey. I mean, this man, confronted with the absolute absurdity of the human condition, he's terrified to his core. He takes a leap of faith. He chooses life. Here. Page 461. Read the part that's marked.

[He hands her a copy of “Catch-22”]

Joey: "They'll have to try like hell to catch me this time. They will try like hell. And even if they don't find you, what kind of way is that to live? You'll always be alone, no one will ever be on your side, and you'll always live in danger of betrayal. I live that way now. But you can't just turn your back on all your responsibilities and run away from them, Major Danby insisted. It's such a negative mood. It's escapist. Yossarian laughed with buoyant scorn and shook his head. I'm not running away from my responsibilities. I'm running to them. There's nothing negative about running away to save my life."

[She realizes the true meaning behind this]

Hetson: As I said in class, a lot of critics find that moment too sentimental. An author ham-fistedly reaching in and injecting an amoral tale with a moral. An embarrassing betrayal of all the dark comedy that came before it. But me? I've always kind of liked it. It has such a nice, hopeful ring to it. Do you see my point?

Joey: Yes, I do.

[She gets up from the chair.]

Hetson: I'm sorry, did it seem like I was done?

Joey: I kind of have someplace I need to be right now. We can continue this next semester.

Hetson: Do you honestly think I'm ever gonna let you into one of my classes again?

Joey: No. Do you honestly think I'm ever gonna sign up for one of your classes again? But I do need an advisor.

Hetson: And you'd like that to be me?

Joey: Yes, I would. Because it is my fondest wish to continue tormenting you until the day I finally leave this institution.

[She goes to hand him back the book, but before he can grab it she pulls it back from him]

Joey: But if it works out that I never see you again for the rest of my life, that's fine, too. Bye-bye.

[She hands him the book and leaves]

[Scene: Outside the Pacey's office building. Pacey is sitting outside with Sadia, and they are talking and drinking a cup of coffee. Pacey is rather upset, and Sadia is trying to be supportive of him.]

Sadia: So there is a soul in there somewhere. And to think I just assumed you were another one of Rich Rinaldi's pet sharks.

Pacey: Sadia, I just screwed over my best friend. I've been feeling sick to my stomach all day. And Rich was right, the rest of my clients knew what they were getting themselves into. But Dawson entrusted me with his entire life savings, and I pissed it all away. How could I let that happen?

Sadia: Ok, this happens all the time. It's just the life of being a broker.

Pacey: Well, that's not acceptable to me. I have to fix this.

Sadia: Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

Pacey: Yeah, sure.

Sadia: On the record? Ok, um... maybe later?

Pacey: Later, yeah. I think later would probably be better.

Sadia: Thank you. Oh, not tonight, though. I already have plans.

Pacey: Let me guess, the boyfriend?

Sadia: Fiancé, actually.

Pacey: The fiancé? Really? Oh, the hits just keep on coming.

Sadia: No, it-- it's just this long-distance relationship, you know, and it's just kind of boring and--you know?

Pacey: Oh, right. Well, so long as it's boring, that makes everything ok. Well, it was good while it lasted, I guess.

[She kisses him on the cheek]

Sadia: Call me if you want to talk.

Pacey: Sure. Sure.

[She leaves and he sits thinking about everything]

[Scene: The help center. Jen is on the phone with a student, while Jack is sitting in one of the couches just staring at the wall. Jen looks over to him and you can see the concern in her eyes.]

Jen: You're welcome. Bye.

[Jen gets off the phone and goes over to Jack]

Jen: Hey.

Jack: Hey.

Jen: Either you just failed an exam or last night didn't go as well as I expected it to.

Jack: You know I've never really cared that much about school.

Jen: I'm sorry.

Jack: It's not your fault. Do you think that I was just going out with David to prove something to myself?

Jen: Something about what?

Jack: Just to prove that I could do it, that I could be in a relationship. You know, have a boyfriend.

Jen: I don't know. I mean, is that something that you feel like you needed to prove to yourself?

Jack: Yeah. Who wants to be that 35-year-old guy that's living alone and still going out to the bar scene trying to find the right person?

Jen: Give me a break. You're 20 years old. You're not even legally old enough to be in those bars, let alone haunt them with your sad, single self.

Jack: Yeah, that from the girl who was on a first-name basis with half the bouncers in New York.

Jen: Look, my point is is that I don't think that everybody meets the love of their life when they're a teenager. Or when they're 25. Or even when they're 35. But that doesn't mean that you stop looking and hoping. You know, 'cause you will meet that person, and when you do, I guess you know it.

Jack: You're gonna end up with C.J. You know David used to say that he knew you guys were gonna stick because you gave him hope.

Jen: Me?

Jack: Yeah. I mean, you give me hope. You did it, didn't you? You found somebody that makes you happy. Somebody who's not gay.

Jen: Yeah, well, he's slightly gay, if only in the seventh grade sense of the term. He does make me happy. Even when things are awful. You know, I'd share him with you if I could.

Jack: Thanks, but that's not necessary.

[Scene: Pacey's Office. Pacey is just finishing up one of his many phone calls that he has been making, and calls out to his secretary.]

Pacey: [Sighs] Who do we have left, Miss Seater?

Miss Seater: Just Dawson leery. You want him? Pacey, do you want him?

[He gets up and goes out to find Rich who is just getting ready to leave the office for the day.]

Rich: No, no. You're not gonna hold me up. I've got a hot date of my own tonight. I admit it. You shamed me, Witter. Now I gotta spend my nights keeping up with my friggin' protégé.

Pacey: Ok, that's great. I just-- I want to ask you one thing before you go.

Rich: As long as it doesn't involve me holding you while you cry.

Pacey: I promise.

Rich: What is it, kid?

Pacey: Well, I was just wondering if maybe you could cover me? Loan me a little money?

Rich: You're kidding, right?

Pacey: No. I wish I was, but... you have no idea how hard it is for me to ask you for this, Rich, but a friend of mine a couple of weeks ago, he came to me and he wanted to double his money really fast. So I just put it all into Stepatech.

Rich: That was a stupid move, Pacey.

Pacey: But he wanted to pull out, and I told him not to, I told him to just trust me and ride the thing out, and this guy is my oldest and closest childhood friend. I cannot screw him like this, Rich.

Rich: It's already done, Pacey.

Pacey: No, I'm serious. All I want to do is give him back his initial investment. And then I'll pay you back with whatever interest you want.

Rich: What about you? What happened to your disposable income?

Pacey: I got nothing left. Everything I had was in Stepatech. I'm worth like, I don't know, 300 bucks right now.

Rich: You know, it's funny. You're so good at your job, you're so confident, I sometimes forget how young and stupid you are.

Pacey: Please, Rich, I need your help, not the speech right now, ok?

Rich: Oh, I think you do, actually. And I'm gonna say to you what you should have told your little friend in the first place. No.

Pacey: That's it? That's all you have to say to me? I come to you, embarrass myself, and you're just gonna say no?

Rich: Pretty much, yeah.

Pacey: [Chuckles] You know, Rich, sometimes you're so good at your job I forget what an unfeeling prick you are.

Rich: You work for me. I'm your boss. You watch your tone.

Pacey: Ok, Rich, I'm just asking you for this one favor! Just one time!

Rich: I...don't...do... favors, Witter.

Pacey: Why not? 'Cause god forbid you have to drop the Gordon Gecko routine for a second? I mean, this would be so easy for you, man. Just help me out here!

Rich: Help you out?! I gave you a job, Witter! I gave you a chance to escape some bottom feeder existence, and every step of the way, you have been a holier-than-thou pain in the ass. So you tell me, why should I help you out? Take this pen. Take this pen, Witter, and write down today's date. Because from this day forward, you're going to amount to nothing. You are a failure and a loser, and you deserve everything that can-- uhh!

[Pacey decks him, and they get into a large fist fight, knocking over desks and computer screens the entire time.]

Rich: It's all over, Pace. Don't worry... you're fired. That's what you wanted all along, anyway. Loser.

[Scene: Joey's dorm room. Audrey is sitting on the end of her bed reading the Europe for $5 a Day book when Joey comes walking into the room.]

Audrey: Hey, I'm all for going to Europe, but I don't understand why anyone would want to do it on $5.00 a day. $5.00 doesn't even buy you a pint of Guinness in Dublin.

Joey: The registrar closes in 10 minutes. That's not exactly a course catalog.

Audrey: I know. But all the summer school classes just look so boring, Joey! Who was it that said you should never take a class where Beowulf is required reading?

Joey: Me.

Audrey: Silly me, I thought it was Woody Allen.

Joey: Audrey, unless you're planning on enrolling in Santa Monica junior college, you'd better hurry.

Audrey: All right. All right.

Joey: And can you hand me that book? I have to start my reading for my trip.

Audrey: What?! Since when did you decide to go?

Joey: Since now.

Audrey: Joey Potter, you are just full of little surprises. Ciao, bella!

[Audrey, leaves, and Joey is about to go and make a phone call when she notices an envelope on the phone and takes out the card and reads.]

Eddie, reading: "Dear Joey, as you know, I'm not good at good-byes, but I guess that's what this is. A real one this time. Because as much as I thought I wanted us to be together, I guess what I want more is to be one of those people who lives every moment of his life without indecision and without regrets. Someone who dares to disturb the universe without a thought to the consequences. And you're not one of those people, at least not yet. Maybe you'll prove me wrong about that one day. I hope you do. But who knows? Maybe people can't change. Maybe we're doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again no matter how hard we try. I always hope for a happy ending. How crazy is that? Take care of yourself."

[The scene fades from Joey reading the Card, to Pacey walking up to the back of Dawson's house, and him looking up into the sky, knowing that he has to tell Dawson that he has lost all of his money.]