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  02x04 - Bodily Fluids
 Posted: 08/08/14 16:10
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[romantic song plays softly over stereo]

[man] All right, then she comes running at me, like, with a huge sheet cake and just throws it at my feet, screaming about how I don't pay enough attention to her.

What a skank.

Yeah, and then my buddy Mark, who was high as f*ck, just comes over, kneels down, sticks his face in it, and starts eating it like a dog.

Yeah. And then she started to cry and got her dad to throw me out of my own party, so...

No way.


And that's why I don't celebrate my birthday. [Chuckles]

That sucks.

Pretty funny though.



No, wait.

I'm sorry. I thought that, uh...

Chill. I just have to pee.



Well, um, can I come?

Maybe when I get back.


You OK?

I'm fine.


Hey, cutie. [Giggles]


[gasping loudly]


[sirens wailing]


What have we got?


Those kids found the DB. All three pieces.

[man] Damn...

[man 2] Yeah.

Geek squad on its way?

Twenty minutes out.


I'm supposed to be balls deep in my wife right now instead of freezing 'em off out here.

Her birthday?

Had to give away tickets to the game on account of her ovulating.

You gotta to be one sick f*ck to do something like this.

Female. Young, near as I can tell.

Been here 24 hours, give or take, judging from the insect larvae.

That girl's grave got robbed yesterday.

Any connection?

Eh... Let's leave that to the propeller heads.

I'm gonna go set up a perimeter before looky-loos and news trucks descend.

On that other matter...

Let it soak.


Next time you throw a hump into the missus, let it soak.


[indistinct police radio chatter]

[officer] May I ask what the two of you were doing out here so late?

[girl] We were on a date and...

[eerie, melancholic theme music playing]

[Pryce] See to it the plasma level is raised.

I want to increase amniotic nutritional value by a factor of three.

That will destabilize its growth rate. Is that wise?

My research in the Serbian camps indicated...

It's my understanding your subjects were human and you weren't necessarily interested in their longevity.

[elevator dings]

Yes, but I am...

Yes, but what?

I will do it right away.

Oh. This is a surprise.

You son of a bitch.

Where's Marie? Where is she?

I have no idea.

She names you specifically in the lawsuit, and now, surprise, surprise, she's gone?

Let go of me, Norman.

If I find out that you had anything at all to do with her disappearance, I will tear you down and everything that you have ever built.

I'm sure that won't be necessary. But be careful.

Start tearing down my house, you may be surprised by what comes crawling out of the rubble.

F*ck you, Johann.

I want the blueprints. Yes, the subbasement.

Scan and send them to me as soon as possible.

No, it's not gonna take a couple of days, because you're gonna tell that miserable prick that I need them now!

Someone didn't come home last night.


Oh, crap, you scared me.

Is everything OK?

Yeah, actually, for the first time in a couple days, it is.

You missed my coq au vin.

You made it?

Well, Conway made it, but I'm pretty sure I told him to.

So, um, where were you?

I was out with a friend.

I didn't think you knew anyone in town.

I do now.

You make friends fast.

It's a gift.

So, I, uh, I got some good news.

Um, I found out my car might be ready this evening, so I could be out of here by tonight.

But I just want to thank you for everything you've done for me.

You've been really kind, and... and I don't want to take advantage.

[heart beating slowly]

Are you OK?

[heart beats faster]

Are you all right?


Please don't!

I'm sorry. I'm... just, um...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm late for a meeting. I really don't have time to...

Wait, wait, wait. I need to talk you.

I got a call last night from the police.

Christina Wendall's corpse was removed from her grave.

They found footprints near the body.

They're... saying it was Shelley.

That's impossible. My sister's dead.

We don't know that. Not for certain.

Anyway, they're... they're out looking for her now.

Does Olivia know?

Yeah. Yeah, I spoke with her earlier.

You said Christina was mutilated. How?


Head torn in half.

Anyway, I'll... let you get going.

Hey, Norman.

That investigator you hired when Shelley disappeared, you should get her back on the case.

It's already done.

[music playing quietly]

[plane buzzing]

[phone beeping]

[line ringing]

Hi, my name is Darren Allen.

I do marketing with Penultimate Innovations.

Uh-huh, that's right, we make the pens.

Uh, I was wondering if you hangar a biplane that tows advertising banners.

I see.

All right, well, thank you for your time.

[whispers] F*ck me.

[pounding on door]

[pounding on door]

F*ck off.

You ass raped us, you f*cking little f*ck.

How'd you do it? You got mirrors in here, some shit like that?

This isn't a good time, guys.

We want our goddamn money back.

Where's the dog? I know there was a dog.

You can't fake that kind of realism.

He's at the vet.

Stop f*cking with us.

I said I don't have it!


Where is it?

OK, OK. I'll tell you exactly where it is.

I took it and I gave it to an attorney to get someone out of a jam.

All of it. And it's not coming back.

So you can beat the shit out of me, but you're still not gonna get it.

You're lying. He's trying to f*ck us again.

Give us the goddamn money!


[bones cracking]

[low growling]


Where is it?


Where the f*ck is it?

Where is that f*cking money, man?

F*ck! Little f*cking prick!


It's here somewhere, all right? We gotta find it.

Where is it, dickweed?

Oh! F*ck!


Grab an ice pack from the freezer!

Oh, f*ck.


Do it!

Oh, f*ck...

You sack the f*ck up. You ain't dying.



There, now it'll heal straight.

Put that on your friend's nose.

Now, get out of my house.

Get the f*ck out of my house!

[Richie whimpering]

[door closes]


[gasps, growls]

[bones cracking]



Miss Cates.

You dropped this.

Thank you.

[elevator dings]

[man] Sorry, no.

Again, I am not authorized to give out his private number.

Well, I'm afraid that's anatomically impossible.

Biatch. [Sighs]

Were you able to get the blueprints?

[clears throat] Yes. Yes, sir.

Good man.

Oh, I, uh, also have the quarterly reports for you to sign.


[heart beating, blood swirling]


Where's Level S5?

Uh, It should all be there.

Well, it isn't.

What the f*ck is your problem that you can't even do a simple task, huh?

Maybe you scrolled past...

Listen to me, you worthless piece of shit.

When I ask you to do something, I expect it to be done properly, OK?

I'm running a business, not a daycare for f*cktards.

I have no time for incompetence!

And that goes for every other mouth breather in here!

Now, clean that shit up, get me a new one, and find that goddamn blueprint!

[man] Miss Godfrey?


Sheriff Michael Chasseur. I'm sorry to bother you, but...

Oh, the replacement.

Right. Do you have a moment?


Oh, if it's no trouble.

Not at all.

I will tell you the same thing I told your deputy over the phone.

I haven't heard from my daughter, and the fact that you people keep opening this wound is...

Marie Godfrey has gone missing.


That's why I'm here.

Her housekeeper reported that she didn't come home last night.

Normally we wouldn't take an interest until we at least had a few days go by.

But we just found her car in a long-term parking lot.

Maybe she went on a last-minute trip?

It seemed to be wiped clean of prints.

Not the sort of thing you do if you're headed for Cabo.

Oh, my God. What do you think happened to her?

We don't know.

Well, whatever I can do to help, I will.

When was the last time you saw her?

She was here yesterday, but I assume you knew that or you wouldn't be here.

True enough.

One of the groundskeepers saw her knock on your door.

Can you tell me the nature of her visit?

She came to tell me she was filing a lawsuit against Godfrey Industries.

Was she upset?

Since the death of her daughter and grandchild, she always seemed that way.

Who can blame her?

Did she say anything else?

Where she might be going? Anyone else she was seeing later that day?

No, she didn't.

Marie Godfrey is the second woman to go missing from here in the last seven months.

Wasn't there a fish and game warden?

That was my sister, Clementine.

I'm so sorry.

Did you know her?

No, we never met.

But it was in all the papers.

The last call she made came from a cell tower near the Godfrey mill.

Any idea what she'd be doing there?

No, the mill's been abandoned for years, save for the derelicts and teenagers.

Well, it was worth a shot.

I do hope you find her.

I appreciate that.

Thanks for the help. I'll let myself out.

So, what's behind door number three?

Is that where you hide the bodies?

[door opens]

[door closes]


[loud rock music playing]

Who are you?

Gwen Epps.

Head of Human Resources?


And apparently, there was an incident earlier.

Several employees lodged complaints against you for creating a hostile work environment.

You've got to be f*cking kidding me.

I'm not.

Now, policy requires a de-escalation period.

I'm going to have to ask you to gather your things.

Are you telling me to go home?

Not at all.

You just have to leave the building.

I'm gonna recommend you register for our anger management workshop.

It's, um...

[heart beating rapidly]

It wasn't me.

Hey, man, can you help me out? Just a little. Just a little.

Just a little. Hey...

Hey, ladies. Please throw a little my way?

Hey, man. Hey, brother, you can help me out?

Dollar, brother?

A five, a ten, a 20, it don't matter. I make change.


OK, I get it, I get it, I get it. You want to see me work for it.

How 'bout I... I tell you a joke?

A baboon, a chick with a dick, and Jesus walk into...

Hey, I ain't finished yet!

Give me a chance, man!

Where are you going, man? I'm just talking to you.

You were looking at me.

Turn around, motherf*cker! Turn around!

Give me a chance.

Walk off, then. Go ahead.

F*ck you, then.


[weeping quietly]

Hi. Uh, my name is Gomez Pugh with Root Cola.

I was told that you might hangar a biplane that does promotional banners?

Yeah, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, we're looking to do some non-conventional advertising.

You do?

OK, uh, where exactly are you located?


Uh-huh, OK. Thank you.


[mimicking engine noise]

Jack, stay on the sidewalk.

[phone ringing in house]


Sidewalk, mister. I'll be right back.

[plane buzzing]


Come on!

[tires screeching]

Jack! Oh, my God, Jack!


Oh, God, baby, are you OK?

Oh, Mommy was so worried.

I think he's all right.

Thank you.

If you hadn't stopped when you did, that car might have...

I don't know how he didn't see him.

He did.

I... I know how this is sounds, and there's no way that I could possibly explain it that will make any sense, but someone's trying to kill you and your son.

Who are you?

It doesn't matter who I am.

You just need to get your son to a place where he can't find you.

Who's he?

I don't know!

You're scaring him.

He should be scared and so should you.

I don't know what this is all about, but you better to stay away from us.

Let me make this really f*cking simple. Either someone is trying to kill your son and you need to get out of town, or a deranged freak, who knows exactly where you live, is telling you to get out of town.

Either way, you need to listen.

You're hurting me.

Promise me you're gonna leave town right now. Promise me!


Absolutely not. Marie wouldn't hurt herself.

Trust me, I've treated enough people to see the warning signs.

I imagine you have.

You know, why aren't you talking to Pryce? She names him in a lawsuit and then suddenly she goes missing? Don't you think that's...

I've already had that conversation.


And there's no reason to suspect him. I checked video surveillance.

He never left the building.


That son of a bitch could have hired someone.

Is there any bad blood between you and your ex-wife?

[scoffs] This is ridiculous.

Mr. Godfrey, I'm here to find out what happened.

Well, after the divorce, she hated me.

Our child died and I abandoned her.

What kind of a man does that?

But she forgave me. That's the kind of person Marie is.

No matter how bad someone hurt her, she could always see the good in them.

She could always see the good in me.

Tell me the nature of the relationship between your ex-wife and your girlfriend.

They didn't have one.

Any animosity between the two?


No, it's been several months since they even talked to each other.

I spoke to Olivia Godfrey earlier and she said that Marie had paid her a visit yesterday after serving Dr. Pryce.


She didn't mention that?

Uh, no.

Well, she's been going through a lot with her recovery, so...

Must have just slipped her mind.


Exactly which part?

[man] It's the alternator. It's on back order from Pittsburgh.

Fine, fine. Just call me as soon as it's ready.


[doorbell rings]

[woman] Oh, hi, mind if I come in?

I'm Brenda, with the Citizen Action Committee.

I was hoping you'd be willing to sign this petition to institute mandatory background checks on anyone purchasing a handgun in Hemlock County.

Sure. I'd be glad to.

Oh... That sort of thing used to happen to me all the time when I popped my first out.

Best thing I ever did was invest in bra pads.

They actually make these milk collection shells, so you just empty them out when they fill up.

Saved me a fortune on dry cleaning.

Um, I don't... I don't have any.

Excuse me?


I don't... uh, I don't have any.


[Brenda] Thanks.

[phone ringing]


[Peter] Hey.

Um, I just wanted to let you know that I had a great time last night, and I thought you might want to hang later.

There's some weird shit going on, and I could use a drink or two... or seven.

Uh, no, I can't. Um...

I've got... I've got some stuff to take care of before I leave town.

Is everything OK? I meant to call earlier.

Um, I'm fine, I'm fine.

I just, uh... Look, I gotta go.

[siren chirps]


[Chasseur] Cap.

This is stupid. I didn't do anything.

No, what's bullshit is when I receive a call from the Greensburg sheriff about you making threats against a single mom and her son.

I saved the kid's life. Did she leave that part out?

You scared that woman so bad, she left town because she was afraid you'd...

I was trying to warn her.

You drive 75 miles to warn a woman you've never met before?

How does that work exactly?

Who is she to you?

Seen much of Roman Godfrey since you've been back?

What does that have to do with anything?

Heard you two were close.

Then left town right after all those school girls got butchered.

Seems you have a talent for disappearing when things go bad.

Well, I'm a talented guy.

Heard Lynda Rumancek got grabbed up by law enforcement.

That's your mother, right?

I guess the rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Say my mother's name again and I swear...

Or you'll what?

You can't keep me here unless you're charging me.

I can hold you here for 24 hours on suspicion of being suspicious if I want.

I suggest you get comfortable.

[Richie] I'm not the one who went all bitch in there.

[Dom] You screamed like one.

[Richie] F*ck you. At least I didn't stand there pissing my pants.

Blow me.

You're gonna wanna... shut that door.

Now, from the look of you sorry sons of bitches, I'm guessing it didn't go well.


Unless you have my money shoved up your bungholes, I going to assume that you weren't able to retrieve it.

However, in the... interest of fairness, I suppose should ask.

Do you?

Do we what?

Have my money shoved up your bungholes.



That is unfortunate.

He f*cked us.

Of course he did. He is a Gypsy.

He's doing exactly what his kind was born to do.

Blaming him would be like blaming a dog for licking its own ass.

Now, this is on you.

Mr. Beaumont, we can get it back...

Stop... speaking, son.

Now, we are in a pickle, and I only see one way out of it.

Take off your clothes.


Don't be shy.

Take... [shotgun clicks]

Your f*cking clothes off.

[Norman] I don't know if you're alive or dead, but they're hunting you again.

I know you're not responsible.

If others could see your heart, they would know, too.

I'm not sure why I keep writing to you, but I believe it helps me.

It keeps you alive for me.

Shelley, if you're out there, please respond.

I can protect you.

I miss you so damn much.

[boy] I'm magic.

Wanna see?



Don't be scared.

It's right here.

I told you.


Can I have it?

This is so cool.

My grandpa taught me that trick.

I miss him.

Do you have a grandpa?

A daddy?

A mommy?


[glass breaking]

Someone's here.

[footsteps overhead]

[man] All right, you ready?

[woman] Yeah. Score.

[man] OK. Let's go.

[man and woman speaking indistinctly]


[man outside] Where the hell are you?!

Jason, get your ass in here!

Your mom's had dinner on the table for ten goddamn minutes!

I'll save half my supper for you.

Get in there, you little shit!

You better wipe that look off your face.

[knocking on door]

It's open.

Missed you.

Are you all right?

Just tired.

Long day.

Irritating patients.

Everybody's got a problem.


I know you think that Shelley's dead, but I can't help feeling that she's still out there.

She's been missing for so long.

What is it you're always telling your patients?

Something about accepting the things you can't change?


It's not knowing is the hard part.

[sighs] Olivia...

The sheriff dropped by today.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Marie being here.

I didn't think it was important.

She went missing last night and you didn't think it was important enough to mention?

Why wouldn't you tell me something like that?

I was trying to protect you.

From what?

She was angry. She...

She said terrible things about us, about you.

I didn't want to...

What could she possibly say that I haven't already heard? That I'm a cheater?

That I'm a bad person...

She said that you killed Letha.

She said that you were the one who insisted Letha deliver at the White Tower instead of taking her to her regular obstetrician.

She said your decision cost Letha and your granddaughter their lives.

Marie wouldn't blame me.

Why would I make that up?

Why would I lie? Hmm?

To tear her down?

You're already mine.

I know what it's like to have someone you love disappoint you.

I want to make it better.

[both grunting]

See, it's not about the money.

I could wipe my ass with 20 grand every Sunday for a month and not notice.

No, this is about sending a message to my associates, present and future.

If your performance is unsatisfactory, there will be consequences.

Are you familiar with the term ROI?

Return on investment.

See, I invested in you, and you returned nothing, which is bad enough, but you cost me capital.

YCC. That will not stand.

Now I'm gonna take something from you.

[both grunting loudly]

This is called an elastrator.

It's used to remove the testicles from pigs, bulls, various other farm animals, those I don't see fit to reproduce.

Fairly simple process.

Attach the rubber band.

Alcohol to prevent infection.

Now, you place the band over the nut sack, making sure the testicles are below the ring.

Once the circulation is cut off, the testes die within minutes, eventually withering, turning black, and falling off.

Shh, shh, shh, shh...

[both grunting loudly]

Now, I understand that from time to time people make mistakes, which is why I'm only taking one ball each.

I believe in second chances. Mm-hm.

[turns up TV]

[indistinct narration on TV]

[muffled shouting]

[muffled screaming]

What the f*ck?


[beeping different combination]

[baby crying]

[crying stops]



Hey, Leticia, it's Norman.

Yeah. Hey, I know you have your people out looking for my niece, but I was hoping you could help me out with another matter.

Well, right away, if you could.

Thank you.

You two are the most prosperous people I seen tonight. God's been good to you.

You can throw a little bit of something my way?

I hope you motherf*ckers die of cancer! 'Cause you will.




Aw, f*ck. Damn.



Do you have a family?

Who the f*ck are you?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I seen you earlier.

You didn't give me shit.

What, you some kind of rich pervert, or what?

I need to know. Do you have a family?

I got a daughter. Won't talk to me.

What the f*ck business is that of yours anyway?

What's her name? Where does she live?

I ain't telling you shit.

I'm not gonna hurt her. I promise. I want to help her.

Melanie Haber. She's in Philly.

I'll make sure she's well taken care of.

Hey, hey, what... what the f*ck, man?

What the f*ck?

[Roman grunting]

Get off of me! Get off of me!

Get off of me!

[metal clanks]

[man] Hey! What you doing?!

[dog barking]



[man singing] ♪ I tried to drink ♪
♪ Just to forget her ♪
♪ And hoped that ♪
♪ Someday she'd come back ♪
♪ She took my... ♪

For God's sakes, can you shut the f*ck up?!

♪ She took my dog ♪
♪ And left me with a-nothin' ♪
♪ 'Cept my boots, my balls ♪
♪ And my hat ♪
♪ Tried to drink ♪
♪ Just to forget her... ♪

[dog barking]

[snake hissing]

♪ She'd come back ♪
♪ Hoped that someday ♪
♪ She'd come back ♪

Hey! Somebody!

Anybody! Chasseur!

More people are gonna die! You have to listen to me!

Hey! People are going to die and it's gonna be on your f*cking head!



What the f*ck are you doing in here?

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