|Season's Change American Idol Adam/Kris
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|Author:||StormyBear30 [ 11/15/13 22:08 ]|
|Post subject:||Season's Change American Idol Adam/Kris|
Title: Season’s Change
Word Count: 19,975
Warnings: Male pregnancy
Summary: Kris is ready to start a family and move forward with his relationship with Adam. However…Adam is reluctant.
Author's Notes: A prompt from kradam_holidays for tommysbitch28 who requested Mpreg with Adam being pregnant with Kris baby, details of how Adam got preggers, during the pregnancy, on the way to the hospital, the birth, and the 1st year of baby's life (all prompts would be awesome if they had an NC-17/M rating)
I had no idea why Adam’s Brother was calling me, but my heart literally stopped in my chest as I hit the talk button on my phone and placed it against my ear. “Kris…are you there?” I heard Neil ask as I swallowed nervously before speaking.
I’m here” I rushed out, swallowing hard again as a feeling of dread washed over me.
“Kris…you need to come home now” Neil yelled, setting my nerves on edge even more at the desperation I could hear in his voice.
“He kicked me out Neil…remember? He told me that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore and…”
“He’s pregnant” Neil cut me off before I could finish reminding him of all the hateful things Adam had said to me.
“What?” I asked, feeling light headed as the world around me began to spin, falling into a nearby chair as I tried to remember how to breathe.
“He’s pregnant” Neil repeated, causing me to forget how to breathe altogether as the world around me began to grow fuzzy. “Fucking Christ Kris…are you listening to me? Adam…the man that you love and wanted to start a family with is pregnant with your child and he’s considering terminating the pregnancy. So…I need you to get your hick ass on a plane and get back here and be the perfectly sickening family that I know you can be together”
“He doesn’t want to start a family…he broke up with me because I did” I replied, recalling the night that Adam Lambert, the man that I’d loved from the first moment I laid eyes on him devastated my heart when he told me that he never wanted to start a family with me, ever. We had been arguing about it for months before hand but that particular night we were both drunk and the arguing turned hateful and heated as I laid an ultimatum before him, start a family with me or maybe we needed to consider breaking up. I was drunk and angry and wouldn’t have ever gone through with that ultimatum, but Adam took it to heart and ended our three year relationship right then and there.
“Look Kris…normally I wouldn’t get involved with my brother and his love life but this isn’t about you or him, this is about an unborn baby that may not live to see his first birthday because my brother is a fucking self-centered asshole” Neil replied with nothing but panic in his voice. “This is your baby too and I know there is nothing that you want more than to bring a child into this world”
He was right but all I kept thinking was how I was going to convince Adam that this baby we had created together was a blessing and not a curse. “I’ll be on the next plane to L.A.” I told him as I raced across the room towards my lap top in order to book that flight. “Please Neil…don’t let him do anything until I get there” I begged as I starting looking for the earliest flight I could get out of Arkansas. “I’ll text you the information once I book my flight” I ended the call, opting to call the airport and book my flight instead because my eyes were so full of tears that I couldn’t read anything on the screen in front of me.
“Does he know that I’m here?” I asked Neil eight hours later after he picked me up from the airport.
“Oh yeah…he knows you’re here” Neil replied with a grim look on his face. “The fucker heard me talking on the phone with you and I’ve been paying for it ever since.
“I’m sorry Neil” I sighed in exhaustion because he looked just as exhausted as I felt. “I’ve booked a room at the…”
“Oh you are not staying in a hotel Kristopher” He cut me off, shooting a glare my way before focusing back on the road ahead of him. “I’ve already made it clear to him that you are staying at the house and that’s final”
“How did you do that?” I asked because I knew how ugly it could get when the two brother’s didn’t agree.
“I punched some sense into him” He replied with a smug smile on his face.
“You punched a pregnant man?” I questioned, not sure how to feel about that.
“It was only a light punch and it was in the face” He declared, glaring at me again. “Besides he deserved it. He’s so lucky he’s pregnant because the fucker deserves so much more for putting us through this shit” He grumbled, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. “You do know that I’m on your side for this right?”
“I know and I appreciate it” I replied, leaning my forehead against the glass of the door because I didn’t want him to see how tearful his words made me. I must have dozed off because when I woke up we were parked in front of the house Adam and I used to share and Neil was shaking me awake. “I don’t know what I’m going to say once I get in there” I whispered, my throat tight and heavy from not only the fear of what was about to happen but also the pain that had been lodged there since I had left our home nearly four months earlier.
“Well I’m all about slapping him around a little bit but I know that’s not how you roll…so just talk to him” Neil said as we climbed out of the car. “He’s been a miserable wreck since you left so don’t let him let you think otherwise. I love my brother but as you know he’s usually so focused on his career that nothing else matters. You just need to show him that adding a child to the mix isn’t going to end the fabulous Adam Lambert’s life but that it’s going to add to it” It was great advice I thought as Neil hugged me quickly before handing me the bag I had brought with me. “Look…you know that I hate sappy shit and I hate that I even have to say this but out of all the idiots that my brother has been with since he started dating…you are the only one that I ever approved of. You never let him get too full of himself and call him on his bullshit when it starts to get out of hand, but the main reason I approve of you is because there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that you love him”
“I do love him” I assured, dropping my bag to the ground before I pulled Neil in for a real hug. “I love you too you know…just like a brother” I whispered against his ear, chuckling a little as he pushed me away as he wiped at the tears in his eyes.
“Ditto…” He replied quickly before getting into his car and screeching away.
I didn’t know what to expect as I entered my former home, placing my bag in the hallway before entering the living room. Adam was nowhere to be found as I searched the rest of the house, too afraid to call yell out his name for fear of starting out on an already bad note. I felt defeated and alone as I walked out into the backyard, my favorite part of the house and found him sitting on a lounger staring up at the sky. “Well I guess you got what you wanted” He broke the silence, alerting me to the fact that he knew I was there.
“I never wanted this Adam” I replied softly, standing behind him on the patio because I was still too afraid to do much of anything that might insight another fight like the last one we had had.
“Of course you did” He replied heatedly as he slung his legs over the side of the lounger and glared at me. “You’ve wanted to get me pregnant for so long and you’ve finally got your wish”
“I won’t deny that I wanted to have a child with you Adam because there was nothing more in this world that I wanted then that but I never wanted it this way. I never wanted to find out from your brother that you were pregnant and considering terminating the pregnancy” I couldn’t speak anymore, too exhausted to stand any longer as I sat on the lounger across from him and buried my face in my hands. “Please Adam…I know that you don’t love me anymore…that you might even hate me but please don’t end the life of our baby because of it” I just lost it after that, my face still hidden in my hands as I began to sob uncontrollably. I cried over the loss of the relationship I had shared with Adam prior to that night, I cried over the broken heart I’d been living with since, but most of all I cried out of pure fear that Adam might ignore my pleas and end the life of the baby that I already loved with my entire heart and soul. “Please…I beg of you” I sobbed even harder when I felt Adam sit down beside me and pull me into his arms.
“I’m so sorry Kris” I heard him whisper wetly against my ear as he held me tightly. “I’m so sorry for everything” “I would never do it you know…terminate the pregnancy” He spoke after the two of us had pretty much cried ourselves out, still clinging to each other as if for dear life. “I was just so angry and confused and Neil wouldn’t stop giving me shit for letting you go that I just blurted it out. I’ve seen a lot of looks from Neil in my lifetime but I’d never seen the look of pure disgust on his face before and yet as horrified as I was that I was the reason it was there I refused to take it back. He called me every name in the book and threatened to disown me if I ever said that to him again. I knew he was going to call you and as much as I knew it should have been me making that call and letting you know I took the coward’s way out. I’ve been so miserable without you Kris” He started crying all over again, crushing me so tightly against his body that I couldn’t breathe and yet I prayed that he never let go. “I know that we have a lot to talk about but I’m so exhausted Kris. Can we please just go to sleep and talk about everything in the morning?” He begged as he gazed at me through exhausted eyes.
I knew we had so much to talk about and so much bullshit to wade through before we should even consider sleeping in the same bed again but the fact of that matter was that when it came to Adam and he needs I could deny him nothing. “Yeah…” I replied tiredly, taking his hand and leading him back into the house. No words were spoken as I left him in the bedroom we used to share in order to get my bag, Still no words were spoken as we prepared for bed, my heart constricting in my chest at just how much I missed my former life and the man I was about to share a bed with.
“Will you just hold me?” He asked like a frightened child once I slid under the covers next to him and again I couldn’t deny him anything as I allowed him to situate himself next to me before wrapping my arms around him and holding him close. “I love you” I heard him whisper softly and I wasn’t sure it he even realized he said it because not two seconds later he was breathing warm air across my naked chest, his snores wafting in a familiar tone around us.
When I woke up the next morning he was lying on his back, his hand splayed across his still flat belly and looking so angelic that it took my breath away. My heart clenched within my chest at just how much I loved that man and how much those months apart had taken a toll on me. Since leaving our home I had been a lonely and miserable mess. I wanted nothing to do with anyone as I locked myself within the home I rented in Conway and resigned myself to a life of solitude and loneliness. Reaching out placed my hand gently on top of Adam’s lying my head on my arm as I tried to think about how my life was going to change now that I was going to be a father and if Adam was going to be a part of that life or not. “Can you ever forgive me?” I heard him whisper as I looked up and found him looking at our joined hands with tears in his eyes.
“Only if you can forgive me for being so stubborn and then running away when I didn’t get the answer I wanted” I replied as I pulled myself upright and sat indian style on the bed before him.
“I kind of didn’t give you a chance” He replied as he sat up as well. “I was scared and angry and so I pushed you away”
“I could have fought you but I was hurt and angry and so confused because I couldn’t understand why you claimed to love me and wanted to spend the rest of your life with me and yet you didn’t want to start a family with me” I said, deciding to be truthful as well.
“I knew it was going to change everything about my life…about our life and I wasn’t ready for that” He whispered, his chin tucked into his chest as he stared at the hands in his lap. “I’m selfish Kris…you know this and I knew if we had a baby then I’d have to make changes and sacrifices that I wasn’t willing to make. I love my life. I love making music and touring. I love being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. I love my body Kris…I’ve worked hard for this body” He rushed out, running his hand down his chest before lying them in his lap once again. “I know it sounds vain but I don’t want to lose this body”
“I love that body too” I replied with a small smile as I reached forward and laid my hand on Adam’s flat stomach. “But having a baby doesn’t mean that you can’t have your beautiful body back…and it really is beautiful” I teased playfully. “Actor’s and models have babies all the time and you can’t even tell afterwards. But you have to know that even if you didn’t get your body back…and that’s a huge if” I rushed out when Adam looked over at me through wide eyes. “But if you didn’t it wouldn’t matter to me because I love you” I assured as I laid my hand over his heart. “And I really mean that” I choked out, tears slipping down my face because it had hit me once again just how much I had missed Adam during our separation.
“I love you too” He cried out, tears blazing down his own cheeks as he reached out and cupped the back of my head, leaning forward and crushing my lips under his own. The kiss felt and tasted like heaven as our lips moved together soft and slowly at first until the need for more consumed us and then it turned explosive. I could hardly breathe as he continued to kiss me in a way that he’d never kissed me before and I never wanted it to end as I pushed him backwards and took control. “Make love to me Kris” I heard him cry out, panting loudly, his body arching up against me as if he couldn’t touch me enough. “Please…please just make love to me” He cried out again and the aggressor in me couldn’t wait to comply as I pinned his arms over his head and shifted my body until I was lying directly on top of him.
“Don’t you move those” I growled as I tapped his wrist, licking and nipping hungrily as his neck. “Good boy” I smiled against the same neck when he grabbed onto the underside of the headboard and held on. I took my time as I removed his pajama bottoms with my hands and body until they were pooled at the bottom of the bed. “Such a beautiful body” I murmured as I kissed my way across his shoulder, sitting up while I straddled his hips. “So beautiful” I began to pant as I shifted my hips up and back again across his hardening cock, my hands exploring his heaving chest.
“God Kris…get rid of the fucking pants and fuck me already” He demanded, sounding hot and greedy and it caused me to smile because I knew how much he loved it when I took control of our love making and how crazy it drove him when I dragged it out. “Please baby…please” His demand turned to begging as he grabbed onto my hips and attempted to remove my sleep pants.
“Put your hands back on that headboard or you’re not going to get what you want” I warned, grabbing his hands and placing them over his head once again, making sure to press my chest against his open mouth. “Yeah…that’s it” I urged him onward when he began to tease my nipple with his teeth and tongue. “Harder…” I cried out because nipple play was a huge kink of mine and I had gone without for far too long. “Yes…more” I demanded, grabbing him by the side of the head and moving him towards the other one. “Harder…” My demands got louder, my lower body rutting against Adam harder and harder with each bite. I could tell he was close to coming at the wetness I felt through my threadbare sleep pants and it made me grin evilly because I had so much control over him. I was ready to come myself but I refused to give in to him because the ultimate goal was to fuck Adam until he couldn’t see straight. Reaching down I took his cock into my hand, aligning it with my own as I pressed them both against his stomach and continued rocking my body back and forth. “When I say come…you come” I panted, taking several deeps breaths in order to keep my hard on and not blow it too soon. “Come!” I demanded, giving his cock as hard squeeze. He didn’t disappoint as he arched up hard into my grip crying out loudly as he spilled his seed between us
“God Kris…I missed this” He ground our wildly, gasping for breath. “Missed you”
“It’s not over yet baby” I said, smearing the clearish liquid into the skin of his stomach before shifting down enough that I could lick it off of him. Once I had cleaned it all up I quickly removed my own pants, reaching for the lube we usually kept in the drawer of the nightstand. “Lube?” I questioned when I found the drawer empty, wondering briefly if Adam had used it on someone else after we’d split up.
“I didn’t’ think I’d need it anymore when you left so I threw it away” He replied with a blush to his cheeks, yet such sadness in his eyes.
“I love you so much” I rushed out, pressing my body against his once again as I kissed him with all the love that I felt in my heart. As I kissed him my lower region seemed to have a mind of its own as it humped at him in a crazed motion until there was come between us once again. “We have got to remedy that really, really soon” I panted, stealing another kiss before I slid off to his side, my leg still plastered against his thigh. The rest of the day was spent talking about all of the things that had brought us there in the first place. There were tears and angered words but in the end none of that mattered as we declared our love and devotion to each other and the child we were going to be bringing into the world.
“What do you mean you’re pregnant?” Brad cried out as we sat in the living room of our home a few weeks later, all of our close friends surrounding us. “Just a few months ago you were telling me that you never wanted to have a baby and now you’re pregnant. How the fuck did that happen?” I watched as Adam flinched at his words, looking over at me for a second before finding fascination with the floor because as much as we had talked in those weeks since I’d come home, that subject was still a little sore for both of us. I could feel the heat of Brad’s glare on me but I ignored him as I focused on refilling everyone’s drinks. “But you’ve been bitching about having a kid for as long as you’ve been together so I guess you got what you wanted regardless of what Adam wanted. This is all your fault little man isn’t it? I blame you totally for this because you’ve been trying to ruin Adam’s career since he decided to take pity of your sorry ass and fall in love with you. It’s just a matter of time before he comes to his senses and realizes what you did to him and kicks your ass back out of here”
“Shut the fuck up toothpick” I heard Tommy growl at him, causing me to laugh despite Brad’s hurtful words because there really wasn’t any love lost between the two of them. “I think their having a baby is a beautiful and amazing thing and I for one can’t wait to meet the little booger” I had to laugh again because there was no doubt that Tommy was a little bit drunk since we had plied them with many drinks before our announcement but I knew that sentiment behind it was real. Adam stayed pretty quiet for the rest of the visit, still quiet after they left and it was really starting to bother me because I knew he was hiding something from me.
“Are you hungry?” I asked as I began to clean up the mess our friends had left, still smarting from Brad’s words and Adam’s silence.
“He’s partly right” He said instead of answering me as I stopped cleaning and looked over at him. “I felt like you wanted to get me pregnant just so you could ruin my career. Well maybe not ruin it but hinder it” I had no words as I continued to stare at him, unsure what to feel as the glass I was holding slipped from my hand and landed on the carpet. I felt as if my legs were ready to give out on me as I fell onto the chair I had been standing by trying to come to terms with what I had just heard.
“Wow…” Was all I could say as I stood up and started walking towards the bedroom so I could change into my swim trunks and go for a swim in the pool to burn of the anger that I was starting to feel.
“Kris…” He called out after me but I ignored him as I quickened my step. “Where are you going?” He asked when I walked back into the living room.
“I just need to be alone right now” I replied as I ran for the backyard.
“Kris…please just listen to me” Adam begged but I ignored him because I was too hurt and too pissed to be in the mindset of listening to anything he had to say in the moment. Ripping off my shirt I dove into the pool intending to swim as many laps as it took for me to burn off all the angry energy consuming me and hopefully clear my head as well. I didn’t know how many laps I swam or how long I had been out there but when I could hardly move my arms any longer I knew it was time to call it quits. I found Adam sitting on the same lounger I had found him on weeks prior to that when I’d come back home after finding out about the baby. He had tears in his eyes as he got up and handed me a towel once I pulled myself out. I ignored him as I dried myself off because despite the fact that I had burned off some of my anger, there was still a part of me that just couldn’t move past what Adam had said to me.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I looked up at him once again. “I’m ready to listen” I said as I sat down heavily on the other lounger waiting for him to speak, not really sure if I was ready to hear what he had to say but willing to give him the benefit anyway.
He said nothing for the longest time as he sat down yet again, head hung low as he stared at the concrete under his feet. “Everything was so perfect for such a long time and then you started talking about retiring from our music and having babies and I just got scared and started to freak out” He began as I tightened the towel around my shoulders and bit into my bottom lip in order to keep my mouth shut because not once had I ever mentions anything about either of us retiring, cutting back on his touring yes, but retiring no. “It was like once you got the idea in your head that you wanted to have a baby that was all you cared about. It was like it didn’t matter what I wanted or how this was going to affect my career because all that mattered to you was getting what you wanted. You wouldn’t even listen to me when I tried to talk to you about it. You would get angry and call me selfish and then you wouldn’t talk to me afterwards. It hurt to know that you cared more about yourself and this baby that you wanted so badly” I could feel my lips start to pulse as I bit into the soft tissue even harder, determined not to speak a word until he said all that he had to say. “I guess that I knew it was a bad idea to talk to Brad about it but you were hardly speaking to me and I needed to talk to someone. He jumped on the band wagon right away of course because let’s face it the man really doesn’t care for you” It was an understatement since I knew Brad hated me and yet I still said nothing. “Then right before our anniversary you started talking to me and acting like it didn’t matter…like everything was ok again I let my guard down because you seemed to understand where I was coming from and the night of our anniversary was so amazing and perfect, but then you got me drunk and took advantage of me when you fucked me without a condom and now here we are” He said as he laid his hand upon his stomach, his eyes still locked at his feet.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I yelled, feeling so shocked and so hurt by his words once again. “Seriously…you think I got you drunk so I could fuck you without a condom in hopes of getting you pregnant?”
“You’d never fucked me without a condom before that night”
“You seem to forget that I was equally drunk that night Adam” I reminded him as I shot up off of the lounger and began to pace behind it because the urge to punch him was just too great in the instant. “I wanted to have a quiet night at home remember? You…were the one that wanted to go out and celebrate in style” I used air quotes as I glared at the man I thought I knew. “You were the one who started with the bottle of Champaign in the limo and then another once we got to the restaurant. You were the one who kept ordering us drinks when we went to the club afterwards, pouting like a spoiled fucking child when I told you I was at my limit. You were the one that made us open another bottle of Champaign in the limo on the way back home and then brought it to our bed with us afterwards. I may not remember much from that night but I know for a fact that I didn’t set out to get you drunk and then trick you into having sex with me without a condom. I can’t believe that you think I’d do that to you” I could hardly see through the tears in my eyes as I ran into the house because I couldn’t even stand to look at Adam any longer.
I felt as if my heart was broken as I stood under the spray of the shower, leaning against the coolness of the tile as I cried my heart out. I wanted to fight him when he climbed into the shower behind me but instead I found myself plastered against his body when I felt his arms come around me and hold me close. “I’m such a fuck up Kris. I know you didn’t do any of that but I got scared and when the thought crossed my mind I just kind of jumped on it and refused to believe anything else” I said nothing as I clung to him and cried my heart out within his arms. “Will you please talk to me baby?” He said some time later as we lay in bed later that night the silence around us deafening.
“You hurt me so much tonight Adam” I told him, my eyes welling up with tears again.
“I didn’t want too” He replied, looking as if he was ready to cry himself. “I just wanted you to know why I was acting like I was acting before I asked you to leave” I wanted to remind him that he had actually kicked me out but I kept my mouth shut as I tried to figure out how I wanted to respond to any of the things he had said to me earlier that night.
“First off Adam I want you to know that I never asked you to retire” I decided to be truthful about some things and hoped that afterwards we would be able to move on now that we had a child on the way. “I asked that you cut back on your touring because honestly in the three years that we’ve been a couple we’ve never been together living our life for more than a few months at a time. Second…you are one of the most selfish men I have ever met when it comes to your career but I understand it and I’ve never loved you any less for it. I know your career and your fans mean the world to you but after three years of being together just for once I wanted you to put me ahead of everything else. Third…maybe I went about having a child with you all wrong and I should have listened when you tried to talk to me about it but honestly you can’t blame me because you never once took what I had to say seriously. Fourth…I know Brad is your friend and that you know you can confide in him about things, but I’m your partner Adam and you should be confiding in me, even if I don’t want to hear it. Fifth…and most important is that I love you” I whispered as I reached out and touched his face. “I love you so much and I love this baby and I don’t want any lack of trust or hurt hanging over our heads as we raise him or her together. I know you’re scared but so am I, so let’s just be scared together and enjoy this beautiful life that we’ve created and the amazing journey we are about to embark on. Can we do that Adam?” I asked, receiving my answer without words as I gazed into his beautiful eyes and found nothing but love, forgiveness and acceptance staring back at me.
I didn’t know what to expect after our talk that night, but it was more amazing then I could have ever asked for as we made love for hours before falling asleep in each other’s arms. The next morning I woke up to Adam talking on the phone with someone and at first I thought that nothing had changed as I heard mention of another tour, but to my surprise Adam declined the tour as well as let the person on the phone know that he was pregnant and taking an extended amount of time off. I couldn’t hear what the other person was saying but I could hear their raised voice as they yelled at the man that I loved. Once again I expected the worst as I waited for him to give in but instead he stood his ground and repeated his earlier words before ending the call. I felt bad for Adam because the rest of the day was phone call after phone call from managers, record label executives and more, but with each call he stood his ground and refused to back down. I swear in that exact moment of time I felt my love for Adam actually grow even more because for once since we started dating our life was finally going to be about us. “God…they are relentless” He cried out later that evening as he sat in the living room while I made us dinner.
“Come on my poor baby” I giggled as I took his hand and led him towards the dining room table. “I just want you to know that I love you so much for doing this for me” I stopped, before we made it, placing my arms around his neck and kissing him.
“I’m doing this for us” Adam corrected me with a smile as he tossed the phone still in his other hand on the couch when it rang again and then kissed me. His phone continued to ring all through dinner before I got pissed off, shut the damn thing off and then hid it in the back of the silverware drawer in the kitchen. I didn’t even acknowledge Adam when he laughed at me because I was tired of the noise and how it was grating on each of our nerves every time it rang. Our reprieve was short lived though as the next morning Adam’s manager, his assistant and a gaggle of record company personal showed up at our door bright and early and they did not look happy. It was like a circus as each and every one of them tried to talk over Adam or myself when we attempted to speak, the entire room going eerily silent when he made an attempt to quickly get off of the couch we were sitting on, but didn’t make it far before he vomited all over his manager’s high heeled shoes. He looked absolutely mortified as he stood before her with his hand covering his mouth looking as he was ready to cry, the other clutching at his stomach. I lost it after that kicking every single one of them out of our house except for his manager and assistant before ushering Adam into the bathroom.
“Are you ok?” I asked him after I had helped him brush his teeth and change his shirt. I didn’t wait for him to answer as I took his hand and led him into the bedroom. “I want you to rest for a while” I told him as I assisted him onto the bed, knowing that he truly wasn’t feeling well when he didn’t put up any sort of a fight “I’m going to take care of this for us. You just rest” He was already asleep by the time I made it to the door and it increased my determination to deal with the issues his management team felt were more important than our baby.
“I cleaned up the vomit” I heard Adam’s assistant say from the kitchen when I walked past it.
“Thank you” I nodded towards her as I walked into the living room. “I’m sorry about your shoes” I said to his manager as I fell backwards onto the couch that Adam and I had been sharing earlier when we were getting our asses handed to us for most of the day.
“No you’re not and that’s ok because I deserved that and more” She replied with a sigh, looking almost as exhausted as Adam did before I put him to bed. “Is he ok?”
“He’s exhausted” I told her, sitting forward because I knew my afternoon was far from over.
“Adam pregnant…who saw that coming” She said with a smile on her face and to say I was shocked was kind of an understatement. “Don’t worry I’ll take care of the label” She went on. “Do you have any idea how long he plans to take?” She asked and I really had no idea because although Adam had agreed to take some time off during and after his pregnancy we hadn’t really discussed how much time.
“I’m not sure” I replied with a shrug. “I’m hoping that he steps away from it for at least two years but I can’t speak for him”
“Well talk to Adam and then let me know” She said, still smiling. “I don’t even want to think about how much money we’re going to lose while he’s on this break but even I know that some things are more important than money. The label will wait Kris for however long it takes for him to come back so enjoy this time that you’re going to have together because you know we plan to have him make up for lost time once he comes back” She was laughing as she said the words but I had no doubt in my mind once Adam decided to go back to work that they going to do just that. “Have Adam call me in a few days to let me know what he’s decided. I’ll see myself out. Take care of him Kris” She said as she walked over to me and kissed me on the cheek as I stood to greet her.
“I will” I replied as I watched her walk away.
“Thank you so much for cleaning that up” I said to Adam’s assistant when she walked into the living room.
“No problem…you seem to forget I was Adam’s assistant long before you came into the picture and cleaning up vomit was a regular thing for me and worse” She winked as she rushed forward and hugged me. “I’m so happy for the both of you. I just know you are going to be the best parents in the world”
“Thank you” Was all I could say at first because of the lump of tearful happiness in my throat. “I’d like you to continue working for Adam if that's ok?” I asked because no matter how much I knew Adam said he was going to slow down, there was no way that he was just going to drop off the face of the earth altogether and honestly I was ok with that.
“Of course” She replied as she hugged me again. “Just call me when you need me”
And so began our journey into fatherhood…
“Do you think that they will be able to tell if it’s a boy or a girl today?” Adam asked me as the two of us sat in his doctor’s office waiting to be seen a couple of weeks after our talk with the label.
“Do you want to know if it’s a boy or a girl?” I asked because we hadn’t talked about it and as much as I was dying to know what the sex of our baby was, a part of me wanted to be surprised.
“I really do” He smiled as he reached out and took my hand and I couldn’t help but smile back because despite my earlier doubts he truly seemed excited about becoming a father. “Just think about all the shopping we can do once we know” I couldn’t help but kiss him after that because despite the fact that he could hardly keep any food down and was tired all the time the one thing that could always put a spark in his eyes was shopping.
“Adam…Kris…” We heard our name being called as we slowly broke apart, grinning like fools at each other as we followed the nurse into the doctor’s office. “Take your clothes off and put on this gown and the doctor will be with you in a few moments” The nurse said as she handed Adam a paper gown.
“Thank you” I smiled at her as she walked out of the room. “Want me to turn around?” I teased because since that morning Adam had woken up and found a small pudge in his stomach area he had refused to let me see him naked.
“I’m only going to get fatter so it really doesn’t matter” He sighed as he began to remove his clothes. I didn’t say anything as I stood in the corner and watched him, once he had everything but his underwear off I moved in front of him and dropped to my knees. “Um baby…as much as I would love for you to give me head right now I don’t think that this is the time or the place” I heard him whisper and I had to control the urge to chuckle because despite his protest I could have sworn that I saw his penis jerk a little.
“Well you can bet that is going to be on the agenda for later but for now I just want to look at you and prove to you that no matter how much weight you may gain that I love you and will always love you. Our baby is in there already growing…waiting for the day that he or she comes into the world and meets their daddies for the first time” Reaching up I took his hand as I leaned forward and kissed the small paunch on his belly.
“You know there are times when I think that I can’t love you anymore and then you say things like that and I find myself falling in love with you all over again” I heard him say as he tugged me up off of the floor and pulled me into his arms.
“I can come back in a few minutes if you’d like” We heard the doctor speak behind us, causing us both to blush because neither one of us had any idea how long he had been standing there and just how much he had seen and heard.
“No…it’s ok. Since I’ve become pregnant I’ve become an old sap” Adam laughed, playing off our embarrassment as I helped him put on the gown before helping him up onto the table.
“When my wife was pregnant she would cry one minute and then the next she was cursing me out for the littlest thing” He joined in on the laughter as he stepped deeper into the room, sitting down on a nearby stool. “I thought that she was crazy for most of her pregnancy but then we had our son and all was forgiven the first time I laid eyes on him. Ok…let’s get started” He changed the subject, clapping his hands together as the nurse from before came back into the room. “Since you ran out and left before we could run any tests on your last visit we have to make up for lost time” The doctor said as I turned and looked at Adam.
“I kind of freaked out when he told me I was pregnant and ran out of here like a bat out of hell” Adam explained with a blush as the nurse and the doctor laughed quietly behind us.
“You’re not the first man to do that and you won’t be the last” The doctor joked as he and the nurse began to arrange items of a tray. “The first thing we are going to do is run some blood work and give you a full exam and then we are going to take a look at that baby of yours” I held Adam’s hand as they drew several viles of blood before the nurse excused herself and left the room once again. The room was silent as he examined Adam from head to toe, asking him so many questions that I lost count after a while. “You ready to meet your baby?” He asked as he moved an odd looking machine over towards the table Adam was lying on. “Just give me a few minutes” We both watched as he adjusted a few dials before shifting the gown covering his abdomen upwards. “This may be a little cold” He explained as he squirted something that looked like lube on Adam’s stomach before placing an wand like object in the goo and moving it around until a picture popped up on the screen. “Gentlemen meet your baby” He said as he moved the monitor closer to us.
“Oh my god…” I whispered as I looked over at Adam quickly before looking back at the child we had created. “It’s beautiful” I had tears of pure happiness in my eyes as I brought Adam’s hand that I was still holding to my lips and kissed it.
“Do you know what the sex is?” Adam asked, his tearful eyes glued to the small screen.
“Do you both want to know?” He asked. “It’s a little girl” He said with a smile as he looked between us when we both nodded in reply.
“So you’re the one who keeps making me throw up if I even think about eating anything” Adam spoke to the screen and it caused me to get choked up because he looked as if he were actually glowing.
“You’re about five months along so the nausea and vomiting should be tapering off” The doctor spoke but I didn’t think Adam heard a word of it as he continued to stare at our daughter. “I’ll give you two a few minutes alone” He went on, handing several ultra sound pictures to me. “Go ahead and get dressed and when you are done you are free to leave. Just make sure to stop off at the desk and make another appointment for three weeks. I’ll give you a call in a few days with the results of the blood tests. Congratulations you two. Fatherhood is an amazing blessing” He nodded towards us before leaving the room.
“Isn’t she the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen your life?” Adam asked as he stared at the pictures I still held in my hand.
“Well she is one of the more beautiful things I have ever seen in my life” I said as I kissed his hand yet again.
“Oh yeah…what was the other thing?” He asked, looking completely confused.
Our journey continued on after that day in the doctor’s office as Adam developed a craving for McDonald's French fries and couldn’t seem to get enough of them. They also seemed to be the only thing that he could keep down for weeks after trying to stick with his organic diet. Eventually, the nausea and vomiting stopped but just when I thought that I was out of the woods the mood swings kicked in. One minute I would find him crying over the silliest thing and then the next minute he was flying off of the handle for the least little thing. There were times when I couldn’t seem to do anything right for him and then other times when he was so sweet and loving that it made up for the craziness. We visited the doctor regularly and each time we did we got another series of ultra sound pictures that showed our baby girl growing more and more as she prepared to enter our world.
By the time seven months had rolled around we had pretty much baby proofed the house, but we still hadn’t agreed on a theme for the baby’s room or even a name for her. Adam and I argued nightly as we laid in bed going through a book of baby’s names, never seeming to agree on anything. Adam being Adam wanted something flashy and different while I wanted something more traditional that didn’t make our child sound like some Hollywood spoiled baby.
“How about Maykayla Mars?” Adam asked one night as we were lying in bed. I had given up going through the baby name book earlier, opting to watch some sports center because with Adam being home it was seldom that I was able to watch my games.
“No…” I replied without even taking my eyes off of the screen.
“Why not?” He asked with a pout as I finally turned to look at him.
“You want to name our baby after a planet?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest because out of all of the names he had chosen that was the oddest one to date.
“It’s different” He replied, pout still in place.
“Why are you so concerned that our baby’s name be so different?” I asked because I really had no idea.
“I’m Adam fucking Lambert…people expect me to be different” He explained, his pout growing even more, so much so that I couldn’t help but laugh. “Not funny Kristopher” I knew he was irritated then because he only used my full name when he was.
“Baby…it doesn’t matter what people expect of you” I decided to use another tactic as I turned off the TV and snuggled up against him, lying my head on his chest as I laid my hand on his swollen belly. “This is our baby…ours…not theirs and we should name her what we want and not what others expect.
“You have a name picked out already don’t you?” He asked as I traced a pattern across his stomach.
“I’m kind of partial to Peyton” I replied, waiting for him to reply and figuring the conversation was done when he went back to his book and didn’t respond to it.
“Peyton Storm” He finally spoke up after I had started to doze off.
“Huh?” I murmured as I snuggled closer into him.
“Peyton Storm” He repeated as he shook me until I sat up and paid attention.
“Peyton Storm” I repeated, saying it over and over in my mind as well, finding that I truly did love it. “It’s a beautiful name” I finally replied with a smile as I leaned in and kissed him. “I love it”
By the time the eighth month rolled around Adam was nearly impossible to live with. He was constantly tired, but seemed to be having a hard time falling asleep because his back was constantly hurting him. He would lose his breath simply walking from the bedroom to the bath room and seemed to be making those types of trips constantly. He could hardly sit down due to the hemorrhoids that seemed to have popped up overnight; yet standing was also a chore because of his back. I did everything in my power to keep him comfortable but nothing seemed to be working. We still hadn’t come up with a theme for Peyton’s bedroom and with each day that passed I was just ready to take on the task myself and have Adam deal with what I came up with. He finally decided to hire a decorator but was at odds with her more than in agreement and after only one week she cursed him a blue streak and quit. I found him sitting in the middle of the baby’s room crying his eyes out as he clutched an old stuffed rabbit to his chest that his mother had given him months prior. It was Adam’s favorite toy as a child and the only thing that had been placed in the room since we had decided the one closet to our room should belong to Peyton. “I’m such a bitch” He wailed as I walked into the room after running a few errands earlier. “I made the decorator quit and I have no idea what the hell you are still here because I’ve been so horrible to you”
“Hey…none of that” I soothed as I sat down behind him and tugged him back until he was leaning against my chest. “I’m still here because I love you” I murmured against his ear as I began to hum a soft tune while rocking the two of us slowly side to side.
“I don’t know why you still love me but you have no idea how grateful I am that you still do” He sighed and I couldn’t help but smile a little because he seemed to finally relax.
“What would you think about a Hello Kitty Theme?” He spoke up after of few minutes of just sitting there together.
“Whatever you want baby” I replied, nuzzling his ear before I placed a soft kiss under it. I had no idea what Hello Kitty was but it sounded so much better than the glitter/disco theme he had been talking about earlier. “I’ll call the decorator in the morning”
“No…I’d like to do it but could you call someone to come in and paint the room pale lavender?” He asked as he laid my hands over his belly, his way of telling me that he wanted a belly rub.
“I’ll pick up some swatches tomorrow and once you pick what you want I will paint it” I said as I rubbed his belly for a few moments before getting up. “Come on let’s get you fed and then to bed” I grinned as I held my hands out for him to take so I could help him off of the floor.
“Love you baby” He whispered against my ear once I was able to maneuver him off of the hard floor.
“Love you too” I returned the sentiment as I held him close.
“Are you sure you’re going to be ok?” I asked Adam the next morning as I placed yet another pillow behind his back as he laid on the bed because it had been bothering him once again. I had promised him that I would go out and get the paint for the baby’s room but he looked so peaked and uncomfortable that I hated to leave him. “Maybe I should just call the decorator and let her know what we decided so I can stay home with you”
“Kris…baby…I’m just tired” He answered as he reached out and took my hand. “I’m just going to take a nap while you’re gone and then when you come back I will help you paint Peyton’s room.” There was no way that that was going to happen but I didn’t have a chance to voice my concern as he fell asleep before I could object.
At the hardware store I found myself so confused because Adam had said he wanted pale lavender for the wall color and yet shockingly there were over fifty different types of lavender. I felt bad for the poor assistant who asked if she could help me because all I seemed to be doing was frustrating her. I decided that I needed to call in reinforcements and although I wasn’t too fond of the person I was about to deal with I reminded myself that I was doing it for Adam. I knew it anyone could help me pick out the perfect color that Adam was looking for it would be him, despite the hell he was going to make me pay for asking him in the first place.
“I’d rather eat a pound of chocolate then run down the street naked then go anywhere with you” Brad yelled at me when I showed up at his door and asked if he’d be willing to help me. I had no idea what the hell that comment was supposed to mean and although I wanted to just tell him off and storm off I knew I had to suck it up and be the better man. The truth of the matter was that since the night that Adam and I had announced to our friends and family that we were expecting a child Brad hadn’t been welcome back in our home. It wasn’t like I had banned him or anything but after telling Adam how sick I was of his shit and how unhappy he made me whenever he was around he hadn’t been back. They still talked from time to time on the phone but I knew it wasn’t the same and the selfish side of me was a bit smug because in the end I had won out over Brad and yet as I stood there I realized how truly selfish I had been.
“I’m sorry” I told him, trying not to laugh when he eyed me wearily as if trying to figure out what my game was. “Look…I know that you don’t like me or trust me for some reason but this isn’t about me or you…this is about Adam who we both love. I’ve been selfish trying to keep him all to myself because I know how close the two of you are and…”
“Oh shut up and get your unfashionable ass in the car” He cut me off as he pushed me out of the way and walked towards my car. “But just so you know I’m doing this for Adam and not you” I didn’t say anything as I followed him because it was true. He didn’t even let me get out of the car once we got to the hardware store, just asked me for my credit card and told me to wait for him. Twenty minutes later I saw him emerge from the store with a sales person in tow with several cans of paint and painting supplies. “Where are we going now?” He asked when I drove past the exit towards his apartment.
“Home” I replied, as I looked at him quickly. “Adam misses you”
“Well whose fault is that since you banned me from your home” He replied snidely.
“I said I was sorry…what else do you want me to say?” I shot back, fighting the urge to kick him out of my car right there on the freeway.
He looked as if he wanted to say something but he didn’t and I for one was grateful, but as expected it didn’t last long. “You just came into his life and took over it” He said as I looked over at him like he had lost him mind before turning my attention back to the road. “We used to hang out all the time and when we weren’t hanging out we were on the phone talking or texting and then you come back into the picture and then he didn’t have time for me anymore. Even when he was dating other people he always made time for me but when he started dating you it was like you were all he cared about”
“That man loves you Brad” I reminded, finally understanding why Brad hated me so much despite the fact that when Adam and I had first started dated I had never banned him from speaking to or seeing Brad.
“I know he loves me” He growled. “He just loves you more”
“He just loves me differently” I replied, resisting the urge to rub it in his face that Adam probably did love me more.
“Whatever…” He mumbled but I could see that he was happy with my answer.
“He’s probably still sleeping” I cried out after Brad as I pulled the cans of paint out of the trunk once I pulled up in front of the house, but I knew he didn’t hear me at the slam of the front door.
“I told you he was amazing” I heard Adam say as I walked past our room to put the paint and supplies in Peyton’s room.
“Yeah…he’s ok” I heard Brad say and for some reason it caused me to smile because I had a feeling that although we would never be close friends, we were on our way to at least being cordial to each other. I had hardly finished the first wall when Brad ran into the room in a panic. “Something’s wrong with Adam” He cried out as I dropped the roller in my hand and ran out of the room.
“Adam…” I called out as I entered our room, finding it empty but the sound of retching alerting me to where he was. “What’s wrong?” I asked as I rushed into the bathroom and found him dry heaving over the toilet.
“Paint fumes” He rushed out as he heaved a few more times.
“We were just talking and then the next thing I knew he’s puking all over the place” Brad exclaimed behind me.
“Do you feel better?” I asked as I ignored Brad and handed him a wet wash cloth. “Why don’t you and Brad go sit outside on the patio so you’re away from the fumes of the paint while I finish up” I said as I helped him walk to the sink, handing him his toothbrush in a scene so similar from his early stages of pregnancy.
“I told you I want to help” He blanched as he held the rag back up to his mouth as he dry heaved again.
“I’m almost done” I lied as I laid my hand on the side of his face.
“Are you sure?” He asked, but I didn’t get a chance to respond as Brad pushed me aside and took Adam’s hand. “I love you” He hollered over his shoulder as he was led out of the bedroom.
“Love you too” I hollered back with a smile on my face. Walking back into the room the smell of vomit reached my nose as I looked at the bed and found the cause. Trying not to vomit myself, I removed everything and dragged it all down into the laundry room. As I was loading the washer I got a brilliant idea, jerking my phone out of my pocket as I dialed the first of several numbers.
“Done already?” I heard Adam ask as I walked out onto the patio.
“Not yet…I was just putting the bedding in the washing machine” I told him as I sat down next to him on the lounger.
“Shit…I’m sorry Kris” He cried out as he tried to get up off of the chair.
“You up for a little road trip?” I asked, tugging him back down gently beside me.
“Road trip?” He asked with a look of confusion.
“I’ve already got your bag packed and the car should be here in a just a few more minutes” I replied cryptically.
“Where am I going?” He looked honestly confused and I couldn’t help but steal a kiss because he looked so damn adorable.
“I’ve booked you a suite at your favorite five star hotel downtown for the next couple of days” I said as I took his hand and led him into the house. “I figure it will give me enough time to finish painting the room while you get to spend two days alone with your best girlfriend”
“Kris…no” Adam cried out but his eyes alive with excitement. “No…I can’t do that to you. It’s not fair. I told you that I would help and…”
“And nothing” Brad cut him off as he grabbed Adam’s hand and jerked him towards the front door.
“Be careful” I growled, steadying my lover when he lost his footing and almost hit the wall. “I’m leaving him in your care for the next two days and if anything and I mean anything happens to him it will be your life” I threatened, meaning every word of it as I glared at the tiny man.
“Kris…” Adam whispered my name as I took his hand and walked us away from Brad.
“I want to do this for you because you are so amazing and you deserve this. I know you’ve missed him” I rolled my eyes as I turned and glanced at Brad who was trying to pretend that he wasn’t listening and failing miserably. “I know that I never banned him officially but I know you cut back on your time with him because of me and I’m sorry for that. Go spend this time with him and enjoy yourself. Our lives are going to change so much in the next couple of weeks and I just want you to know how much you mean to me and how much I love you”
“I love you too” He had tears in his ears as he leaned down and kissed me softly. “I know I was hesitant at first Kris but I really can’t wait to start this new phase of our lives when Peyton joins our family. Love you baby” He whispered against my lips as he kissed me again. “I just really love you”
“You are making it so hard for me to hate you now” I heard Brad exclaim before I could reply to Adam as I was twisted around and pulled into his arms. “I promise to take good care of him” I couldn’t say anything as I pulled away from him when thankfully the doorbell rang.
“You have a spa appointment in a couple of hours “ I said to Adam over my shoulder as I picked up his bag and handed it to the driver once I had opened the door. “I’ve already told the front desk that they are to give you everything and anything that you want. I want you to enjoy yourself but I don’t want you overdoing it”
“Yes Daddy…” Brad cried out, kissing me on the cheek quickly before running out the door. “Let’s get a move on Adam. We have carte blanche at this hotel and I plan to get everything and anything I want”
“You know I won’t let him go crazy” Adam assured as we walked towards the car.
“I don’t care about the money baby. I just want you to enjoy yourself and splurge until your heart’s content”
“Love you” He told me again as he slide into the back seat of the town car, tugging me down for another kiss before they drove away.
Three hours later I had the room completely painted and all the furniture in place. I thought about calling a few of the friends I hadn’t seen since Adam and I reunited but I just didn’t have the energy. I decided to spend the night alone and work on a song I had been working on but had been unable to finish. An hour later I found myself frustrated and annoyed because I couldn’t concentrate on the song, instead my thoughts constantly turning to Adam. I knew I was being silly but I was dying to know if he was ok, going so far as to toss my cell phone onto the couch on the other side of the room to prevent me from calling him. I wanted him to enjoy his time with Brad and despite the fact that the little shit annoyed me to no end I knew that Adam was in good hands with him. An hour later I decided to give up and go to bed because it was clear the song wasn’t coming together the way I wanted it and my need to call Adam was growing with each minute that passed. I was half way asleep when Adam’s ring tone broke the silence around me. I was in a panic as I reached across the night stand, nearly knocking a lamp on the floor in the process. “What’s wrong?” I cried out, my panic growing when all I heard was silence. “Adam…are you there?” I cried out, pulling my phone from my hear and looking at the display to see if the call had been ended. “Adam…”
“Easy baby…I was only calling to say goodnight” I heard him giggle as I fell back against the pillows in relief. “You ok?”
“Yeah…fine” I chuckled myself at just how stupid I must have sounded. “I was dozing when you called and when I heard your ring tone I just kind of panicked”
“I’m sorry baby. I can let you go back to sleep” Adam replied softly and just by the tone in his voice I could tell that something was bothering him more than the fact that he’d woken me.
“No…I’m glad you called” I said. “I’ve been fighting with myself not to call you all night because I didn’t want to ruin your time with Brad”
“You can call me anytime Kris…no matter who I’m with” His tone lightened a bit and it made me smile because I could tell that he meant those words. “Honestly…I enjoyed my afternoon with Brad but I miss you so much right now”
“I miss you too” I returned the sentiment, my heart actually aching because we weren’t together. “Where is your partner in crime by the way?” I asked, surprised that I couldn’t hear his annoying voice in the background.
“Probably still at the bar” Adam replied with a sigh. “We decided to have a drink at the bar after we had dinner and he started chatting with the bar tender and before I knew it I didn’t even exist anymore” He laughed but I was starting to fill with rage that he had left Adam alone for a random hookup. “I was watching them flirt back and forth and there was no doubt that they will end up fucking by the end of the night and all I kept thinking was how glad I am that I don’t live that life anymore. I remember thinking that being unattached and fucking any man that looked my way was what I wanted for the rest of my life and then I met you and you changed all of that for me. You made me want things that I never in a million years thought that I would want or could have and I’ve never been happier because of it”
“Adam…” I whispered, my voice hoarse and heavy with emotion.
|Author:||StormyBear30 [ 11/15/13 22:08 ]|
|Post subject:||Re: Season's Change American Idol Adam/Kris|
“I want to come home. I don’t like being apart from you and this bed is so huge and I miss you and…”
“I’m coming over there” I cut him off before he could finish his rambling.
“Kris…no…I can just come home”
“The room is paid for either way so why don’t I just come over there and we can pamper and enjoy ourselves together. Let me just get dressed and pack a small bag and I’ll be over there before you know it. I love you” I didn’t give him a chance to respond as I ended the call and grabbed the few things I would need before rushing for the door.
“Took you long enough” Adam said with a playful grin once he opened the door to his suite to my insistent pounding.
“Damn Los Angeles traffic” I grumbled as I stepped inside, closed the door and kissed the man I’d been missing like crazy. “Hi…” I smiled once the kiss had ended; feeling relief coursing through me that I finally had him back in my arms.
“Hi…” Adam grinned back before he kissed me again. The rest of the night was spent snuggled up in the hotel’s huge king sized bed as we talked about everything and nothing until the early morning hours. Afterwards, once Adam was asleep I laid down near his belly and sang softly to Peyton, my hand caressing Adam’s stomach as I sent out a prayer of thanks to a God I had pretty much forgotten about since moving to California. The next morning we ordered room service and had a late breakfast before curling back up in bed and just spending quality time with each other. Brad didn’t even seem shocked to see me when he returned to the suite later in the evening as Adam and I dressed for dinner. I fought the urge to yell at him for failing to watch over Adam as I had asked him, but decided in the end that it wasn’t worth it as I recalled Adam’s earlier remarks. After dinner we snuggled up on the couch and watched a movie until Adam could hardly keep his eyes open any longer. The next morning as I was packing up our things before we headed home, Adam came out of the bathroom with a look on his face that scared me to death.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as he stood in the doorway of the bathroom, one hand clutching the door knob, the other his back.
“I think it’s time Kris” He cried out, nearly hitting the floor as he doubled over in pain. “Hurts Kris” He panted heavily as I wrapped his arm around my shoulder and practically dragged him over towards the bed.
“It’s ok…just hang on” I assured with as much of a smile as I could muster as I picked up the phone and called the front desk, demanding that they call an ambulance and pronto. I knew I could have probably driven him to the hospital but I was completely freaking out because the baby wasn’t due for another month.
It was utter chaos after that as a gaggle of hotel staff rushed into our suite, followed by even more people when the ambulance showed up. Adam looked absolutely petrified as he was hoisted onto the gurney, clutching my hand so tightly that I had to practically run to keep up with the paramedics. I wanted to scream and beat the shit out of the few paparazzi that seemed to be waiting outside as Adam was placed in the cab of the ambulance as they screamed out the most inappropriate questions while snapping hundreds upon hundreds of pictures. “Kris…” Adam cried out in a panicked tone when I let go of his hand because one of the vultures stepped in front of me in order to get a closer picture of Adam. “Kris…” He cried out again when I shoved the man so hard the he and his camera hit the concrete. “Did you break his fucking camera?” He asked as I climbed into the cab and sat down beside him as I once again took his hand.
“Yeah…” I winked as I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his sweaty forehead.
“Good…” He replied winded as he lay back and closed his eyes. “Love you Kristopher” He whispered as he squeezed my hand. “So glad you decided to come over”
“Love you too baby…now just rest” I replied as I kissed his forehead again. There was actually a sense of calm as we drove to the hospital as the medics continued to watch over him, while Adam laid on the stretcher squeezing my hand each time a contraction hit. It didn’t last long though as we pulled up in front of the hospital, the emergency entrance crowded with even more paparazzi. The screaming and the flashing of the lights were nearly overwhelming as I ran ahead of the stretcher, cursing out and pushing anyone who held a camera to their face out of the way because nothing mattered more than getting Adam and our unborn child inside. It seemed like it took forever but eventually we were able to get inside but before I knew what was going on Adam was being rushed down a corridor and I was being told that I couldn’t go with him. The male nurse who was standing in front of the closed doors was at least five inches taller than me and double my weight but I didn’t care because I was so hopped up on fear and adrenalin that I was ready to take him on. He however wasn’t fazed by my several attempts to get past him, telling me over and over again that since I wasn’t related to Adam that I couldn’t be back there. I screamed and yelled and threated to sue the hospital yet nothing detoured him from his stance. Eventually a security guard was called and I was led into a small lobby and forced to sit there as the guard guarded the door. I had tears in my eyes as I wondered just how scared Adam must be without me by his side and then my anger kicked up once again.
“I know their policy is for shit but you’re not doing your partner and that baby any good if you end up in jail” The guard said as I looked up and found him standing in front of me with a cup of coffee in his hand.
“I just want to be with him” I replied as I slunk into the chair because I felt as if all the energy had left my body as I reached out and took the coffee he offered me.
“This is your first child I take it?” He asked as he sat down beside me.
“My partner and I have three” He went on as I took a sip of my coffee. “I think the first one is always the most nerve racking” He chuckled as he took a drink from his own cup
“Kris…you can come with me” I heard Adam’s doctor say from the doorway before I could respond.
“Thank you” I said to the guard as I pushed myself out of the chair and rushed towards the doctor. “How’s Adam and the baby?” I asked, my heart beating so wildly in my chest that I felt as if I were going to have a heart attack.
“See for yourself” He grinned at me as he pushed back a curtain and I found Adam sitting on a bed looking less than happy.
“Where the hell have you been?” He snapped when he spotted me.
“They wouldn’t let me come back with you because we’re not related” I told him as I ran my hands over his face, neck and belly just to prove that he was alright. “How are you feeling now?”
“Like an idiot” Adam replied sullenly. “I mean who the hell has false labor and can’t tell the difference” He continued to grumble and I couldn’t help but smile because I knew he was feeling better even though I had no idea what he was talking about.
“I didn’t say it was false labor” The doctor spoke up as he sat on the bed next to Adam. “What I said was it was Braxton Hicks contractions which can sometimes be confused as regular contractions”
“False labor” Adam pouted like a child despite the doctor’s explanation. .
“Is the baby ok?” I questioned because now that I knew Adam was ok I wanted to make sure our daughter was as well.
“She’s perfectly fine” The doctor assured with a grin. “However…I think that it’s time to schedule Adam’s C-section. She’s fully developed with a nice strong heartbeat so I think that she’s ready to meet her daddies”
“Am I going to have to wait in the waiting room for that as well?” I asked rudely because I was still quite pissed about what had happened.
“No…the surgery will be performed in the hospital like we’ve already talked about. The procedures are a little different in the emergency room because there sometimes isn’t time to check the patient in right away, so it’s for their protection” I wasn’t about to argue about how stupid I still felt their policy was because all I wanted to do was take Adam home.
“Can I take him home?” I asked.
“Yes…I’ve already taken care of the discharge” He replied before he turned his attention towards Adam. “I’m going to set up your surgery day for one week from today. I want you on full bed rest until that day. You are only to get up to use the bathroom and that is it. Your blood pressure was a little high tonight and although I’m sure it was from the stress of the evening I don’t want to risk it. Bed rest only” He pointed between Adam and I before he walked away.
“Bed rest only…” Adam mocked as I helped him off of the bed.
“Come one baby let’s get you home” I chuckled as a nurse and a hospital administrator came in with a wheelchair.
“We have a private entrance and exit for situations like these” The lady with the nurse said as she guided us into an elevator. “We’ve already called a trusted car service to take you home. We’ve dealt with high profile patients before” She replied with a friendly smile. “Just tell Jeffrey where you need to go and he will take you there. Good luck you two” She smiled again once Adam was seated in the back of the car.
“Fuck I’m tired” Adam whined as he laid his head on my shoulder.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” I asked because he looked downright exhausted.
“I’m fine…just a little embarrassed that this turned out to be a false alarm and maybe a little sad”
“Sad?” I asked in confusion.
“Because I just knew we were going to meet our daughter tonight” He sighed as I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and held him close. I didn’t know what I was feeling as I held him, my emotions flying every which way, relief that he and our baby were ok, anger at the way I was kept from my lover when he needed me and like Adam some sadness at the idea of having to wait yet another week before we would meet the child we created together.
I thought that week was going to just drag by but before I knew it Adam and I were once again in a car and on our way to the hospital. Adam was a nervous wreck during our drive, gripping my hand so tightly that I had no feeling left in it and his leg bouncing up and down so hard that the seat was shaking. “I can’t do this” He whispered, shaking his head from side to side as he began to rock his body back and forth. “I can’t do this” He repeated, his eyes wide and full of fear. “I can’t do this Kris. I’m so fucking scared”
“Of course you can” I assured as I cupped the side of his face with my free hand. “You were ready to have this baby a week ago remember?” I reminded him.
“That was different because I didn’t think that I had a choice” He mumbled.
“Well you don’t really have a choice now” I smiled up at him, tears in my eyes because it had finally hit me that by the end of the day we were going to be parents. “I’ll let you in on a little secret…I’m scared too” It was the truth because now the reality had sunk in that Peyton was coming and our lives were about to change dramatically.
“We could totally fuck her life up forever” He said as he rubbed his hand over his swollen abdomen. “What kind of parents are we going to be?”
“The best we can be” I smiled again as I leaned up and kissed him. “We may be scared now but there is no doubt in my mind that we are going to be the best parents for our baby girl. She’s going to be taken care of to the best of our abilities and no little girl is going to be loved more by her parents and her extended family.”
“Do you think that our mothers could move in with us until she leaves for college?” He joked and I had to laugh because I knew we’d ask them both of our mothers to move in without hesitation to take care of their first grandchild. As it was they were both mad at me because I had insisted on taking two cars to the hospital because I wanted those last moments of Adam’s pregnancy just to be between the two of us.
“Without question but we got this” I stole another kiss before I leaned down and kissed his belly. “We got this” I whispered knowing that she had heard me at the slight poke I felt from Adam’s stomach in reply.
There was a flutter of activity from the moment we arrived at the hospital as we got Adam settled in his private room, both of our parents and myself bumping into each other as we tried to make the room as serene and comfortable as possible. Once everything was settled we sat around and listened to our mothers telling story after story of our childhood as we waited for word that they were going to be taking Adam to surgery. My heart was racing in my chest when the doctor came in and prepped us on what to expect once we got down there. Everything seemed to be so unreal and in fast motion as Adam shared happy and loving sentiments with our families before he was told it was time. I said nothing to any of them as Adam reached out and took my hand, walking along the gurney that was bringing us one step closer towards parenthood.
“While we’re prepping Mr. Lambert we need you to put these on and then I will come back and get you” I heard one of the nurses say to me as they took Adam in the waiting room, taking me into another room nearby so I could change. It was as if I forgot how to speak as I nodded to her before she took her leave and left me alone. I was a bundle of nerves as I fell to my knees and prayed that Adam and our baby were safe and that I could be the man that both of them needed to be. “Ready?” The same nurse asked a few moments later as I waited for her return. Once again I could only nod as I put the paper cap on my head before following her into the surgery room.
“Kris…” I heard Adam’s frightened voice call out to me as I rushed to his side at the front of the table he was laid on. “We can do this right?” He said with a smile of his face.
“Yeah baby…we can do this” I smiled back wanting to kiss him in assurance but afraid to as I took in all the activity surrounding us. “I just want you to know that I love you so much and you have no idea how happy you’ve made me in the time we’ve been together” I turned my attention back towards him because I really wanted him to know how much I loved him and how much he meant to me.
“I know…me too” He grinned up at me with wink.
“Let’s get started then” The doctor said as the entire room seemed to come alive. I wasn’t actually able to see what they were doing to Adam and I was actually comfortable with that because I wasn’t sure how I was going to react to seeing them cut open the man that I loved. Adam remained quiet during his surgery but his eyes were focused on mine and I hoped that it brought him some comfort. “Almost there. You doing ok Adam? Are you in any pain?” The doctor’s voice broke the silence as I smiled down at Adam in assurance.
“No… no pain but I can feel some tugging” Adam replied starting to look a little frightened again.
“Sing to me” He said to me. “Sing to me…anything” He repeated at more frantically and I did just that as I knelt down next to his head and song softly against his ear.
“What is that?” He questioned after I had sang the first two verses of the song I had been working on while he was at the hotel with Brad. “I’ve never heard it before” He had tears in his eyes but a beautiful smile on his face. “It’s about us?”
“I’ve been working on it for a while now but I was finally able to finish it this morning” I had tears in my eyes as well because it was about our journey from the beginning of our relationship and the love that we shared to what I knew our future would be once Peyton joined our family.
“Have I told you how much I love your sentimental ass” He exclaimed loudly, everyone in the room laughing softly.
“I love you too” I replied as I kissed his ear.
“Gentlemen let me introduce you to your daughter” We both heard the doctor say as a shrill baby’s cry followed the laughter. It seemed like it took forever before they placed the swaddled bundle in my arms and as I looked upon her beautiful face I fell in love with her in a way that I would never love another human being, including Adam.
“She’s so beautiful” I heard Adam say as I held her so he could fall in love with her just as I had. “I love you so much Kris” He repeated the sentiment as he raised his head up asking for a kiss. I didn’t know if it was allowed or not and I really didn’t care as I kissed the man who had given me the most precious gift in the entire world.
“I love you too” I kissed him again the tears on our cheeks mingling as they were pressed together as we looked at our daughter together.
“Ok Kris…Nurse Mosley is going to take you back to Adam room while we finish up here. We’re going to run some test on Peyton and then bring her to the room once we are done” The doctor said as a nurse moved over towards me.
“Tests? Is she ok?” I asked almost ready to panic because he had never said anything to us during Adam’s doctor’s visits about any tests.
“Peyton in perfectly healthy” He replied with a chuckle. “It’s just standard procedure for every newborn. Don’t worry she’ll be with you before you even know she’s gone” I knew that was a lie because I was already missing her and she was still in my arms. I didn’t say anything though as I kissed her on the forehead before handing her over to another nurse.
“Come on I’ll take you to your room” Nurse Mosley smiled at me.
“I’ll see you soon baby…love you so much” I whispered against Adam’s ear before following the nurse, my eyes locked on my daughter until I was out of the room. I couldn’t stop smiling once they brought Peyton into Adam’s room and I was able to introduce her grandparents to her, but as happy as I was to have her with me I was growing worried for Adam. It had been nearly an hour since I had been brought back to his room and I hadn’t heard anything about him.
“I’m sure he’s fine sweetie” I heard Adam’s mom say as she laid her hand on my arm and gave me a warm smile.
“I know” I replied but when two hours had passed and he still hadn’t been brought back up I was in an almost panic as I paced the room back and forth several times before going to the nurses’ station to find out anything. “How can they not fucking know what’s going on with him?” I questioned the room, my pacing beginning once again because it was better to keep myself busy with pacing then to throw myself in a corner and cry when they told me they didn’t know anything.
“Kris…why don’t you sit down and hold Peyton” My mother said to me as he motioned for my father to guide me to the chair next to her before placing my daughter in my arms.
“Something’s wrong” I whispered as I held my baby to my chest, the tears I had been trying to hold back finally splashing down my face. “I’m scared mama” She didn’t have a chance to respond as Adam’s doctor took that exact moment to come into the room, looking somewhat frazzled. Out of fear that I may drop her I gave Peyton back to my mother as I stood up, my heart hammering so hard in my chest I felt almost ready to pass out. “What’s wrong with Adam?” I rushed out, the words sounding foreign to my ears because of the fear there. “Where is he?” I continued to question when he didn’t speak fast enough.
“He’s fine now but there were some complications afterwards” He explained without really explaining anything.
“I need to see him” I said as I moved to step past him, several hospital staff taking that exact moment to roll Adam back into the room. “Adam…oh my god” I cried out when I saw how pale and sickly he looked.
“I’m ok baby…doc fixed me up real good” I heard his slurred words as he squinted up at me with a goofy grin on his face. “I love you so much Krissy” He began to sing, causing everyone in the room but me and the doctor to chuckle.
“We’ve given him some heavy pain medication so don’t be surprised if he sleeps for quite a while” The doctor said. “After we removed Peyton Adam began to bleed out and his blood pressure dropped dramatically. He’s fine now Kris…but I won’t lie to and say that it wasn’t serious for a long time as we tried to find where the bleeding was coming from. We had to open him up a bit more to find the bleeder, but we’ll keep him on a good pain drip and antibiotics and he should be able to go home in about five days” It was two days longer then he had been expected to stay in the hospital but I didn’t care because all that mattered was that my soul mate was still in my life. “May I speak with you in the hallway Kris?” He asked and as much as I didn’t want to leave Adam’s side I knew that I had to. “I didn’t want to say anything in front of your family but we also found an infection present in the abdomen while we were looking for where the bleeding was coming from and most of the tissue was necrotic or dead. There is no easy way to say this Kris but Adam won’t be able to have any more children”
“He’s going to be ok though…you got it all out right…there won’t be any complications now?” I rushed out in a ramble because as heartbroken as I was that Adam wouldn’t be able to have any more children I was more worried about losing the only man I had ever loved.
“There is still a chance for some minor complications as with any major surgery but we are going to do everything in our power to make sure that doesn’t happen. I have another delivery in a few hours but if you have any questions or concerns please don’t hesitate to call my service and I will get back to you as soon as I can. Congratulations Kris” He said as he placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“Thank you for saving him” I sobbed as I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “Just…thank you” I said again when I felt him stiffen in my arms.
“You’re welcome” He smiled, patting me on the back before he walked away. Needing to be alone for a few moments I found a public bathroom and once I was locked behind closed doors I fell to my knees and cried out every single emotion I felt bottled up inside me.
“They took Peyton back to the nursery and Adam’s been sleeping ever since you went out to speak to the doctor” Thankfully none of them asked what it was the doctor wanted to speak to me about but I could tell by the looks on their faces that they knew. We all sat in silence for about an hour before I began to urge them to leave because as much as I loved and appreciated that they wanted to be there for me I wanted to be alone with Adam even if he was passed out because of the drugs he was on. Hugs and words of love were expressed by all as they left. I broke down into tears once I was alone as I held Adam’s hand to my chest and once again sent out a prayer of thanks that Adam was going to be alright.
“Hey…I was wondering when you were going to wake up” I heard Adam’s groggy voice say as I lifted my head from off the side of the bed where I had obviously fallen asleep the night before.
“How are you feeling? Are you ok? Do you need anything?” I rushed out as I stood up, my eyes raking over his entire body to ensure that he was truly ok.
“I just need a kiss” He grinned as he reached his hand out towards me. “Hi…” He grinned even wider when I did as he asked.
“Hi…” I replied uneasily. “Are you in any pain? Do I need to go and get the doctor?” I fell back into the role of protector when the kiss ended.
“I’m a little sore but the doctor told me that was to be expected afterwards” He grimaced as he tried to sit up. “I just want to see my baby girl and spend time with her daddy” He said. “I know you showed her to me after she was born but it seemed more like a dream you know”
I didn’t know but I nodded just the same as I helped him sit up. “Where are our parents?”
“They’re all at the house but should be here sometime this morning” I replied standing beside his bed, still holding his hand but unable to look him in the eye as I recalled what the doctor had told me the previous night.
“Are you ok?” He asked, his eyes full of concern.
“I’m fine” I lied, feeling anything but as I sat back down on the chair next to his bed and hung my head and stared at the floor.
“Kris…” He said my name but didn’t get to finish his sentence as the doctor took that exact moment to enter the room.
“Mr. Lambert…Mr. Allen” He greeted us as he walked over to the other side of Adam’s bed, checking the monitors and hoses attached to his arm. “So how are you feeling thing morning Adam?” He questioned as he wrote a few things down in his chart.
“I feel as if someone ripped my stomach open and pulled something the size of a watermelon out of it” He joked but neither the doctor or myself laughed. “It was a joke guys…come on”
“Adam I need to talk to you about your surgery yesterday before they bring Peyton in to visit with you” He decided to be straight forward as I stood up and walked over towards the large window on the other side of the room. I listened as he told Adam everything he had told me the night before wanting to be at his side and hold his hand as the doctor told him that he would never be able to carry another child again but instead I found myself rooted to the spot by the window.
“Thank you doctor” I heard Adam say, unable to read the look on his face as the doctor nodded in reply and left us. The room was surrounded in silence as I continued to stand away from him still unable to read the emotions playing across his face “I’m sorry” He finally spoke up as I looked over at him in shock trying like hell to figure out what he was sorry for. “I can’t have any more kids and I know how much you wanted to have a big family”
“What? No…” I cried out as I rushed towards his side, tears blazing down my face because I couldn’t believe how wrong he was. “That’s not it at all” I sobbed, standing by his bed as I once again reached out and took his hand “I’ve just been feeling so guilty for forcing you to have a baby with me that I wasn’t sure how to act around you”
“You fucking moron” He hiccupped, clasping my hand tightly within his own. “You never forced me to do anything. Yes I will admit the I was a little shocked when I found out I was pregnant and yes I thought you had tricked me at first but you have to know that I never felt as if you forced me to do anything once I realized what a moron I’d been myself. I just need to know if you can accept the fact that I can’t have any more children and still love me like you once did”
“Like I once did” I repeated in shock. “Adam…I never once stopped loving you. You can’t believe how unbelievably scared I was when the doctor told me what happened after the surgery and just how close I could have come to losing you. You are the love of my life Adam and no matter if we only have one child or ten that won’t ever change” Leaning down I kissed his hand several times before I leaned forwards and kissed his tear stained lips. “What?” I asked in confusion when he just grinned up at me.
“You know I kind of like the idea of you being barefoot and pregnant” He replied with a laugh. I was too shocked to reply for a moment but then I couldn’t help but admit to Adam and myself that I kind of liked the idea. Peyton was brought in after that and the rest of the morning was spent spending time with our beautiful baby daughter and her grandparents. The rest of the day Adam’s friends trickled in to visit from time to time, only allowed to stay for short periods of time because I was in full protector mode for both of my precious babies. I fully expected Brad to give me grief for rushing him out before he was ready, but shockingly he didn’t. Instead he took me aside hugged me quickly before whispering in my ear how happy he was that Adam had me in his life. I didn’t know what to think about what he had said and I didn’t harp on it much because I knew that once Adam was back home and life started to get back to normal for us he and I were going to be in the same boat we were in before when it came to each other.
The morning Adam was to be discharged all the nurses and even some of the doctors working that floor came by to visit with us because not surprisingly Adam and Peyton had charmed the pants off of them. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched him holding our daughter as he chatted and laughed with them as they came and went. “I’m so proud of you son” I heard my father say as he walked up beside me. “You have such a beautiful and amazing family and you can’t believe how happy that makes your mother and I” He had tears in his eyes as he hugged me quickly before going to stand by Adam’s bed as he looked down at his granddaughter.
“Why am I so nervous?” Adam questioned later that morning in the car as he and I sat in the back seat with Peyton between us while his parents sat in the front seat.
“I know what you mean” I replied as I reached over the car seat holding our daughter and took his hand.
“We can do this right?” He asked, looking so scared and nervous, yet so beautiful.
“Yeah baby…we can do this” I smiled as I squeezed his hand in assurance. “Love you” I grinned with a wink as we pulled up in front of our home because there was a surprise in store for Adam and I couldn’t wait for him to find out what it was.
“Love you” He grinned back, stealing a kiss over our daughter before he climbed out of the car. I hung back with Peyton pretending to help Adam’s father remove his bag from the trunk of the car. “Oh my god” I heard him exclaim when he entered the house and found all of his friends waiting for him in the living room for a surprise welcome home shower. “Did you know about this?” He asked as I walked into the house with Peyton.
“Of course because as much as you said you didn’t want a baby shower I know how much you love a good get together with our friends” I replied because Brad and several of his friends had been planning a surprise baby shower for him before Peyton’s birth but then he had decided he didn’t want one because we truly didn’t need anything for her and made them all promise they wouldn’t throw him one. “So go show off our daughter” I said as I handed Peyton over to him, tugging him close and stealing a kiss. “But don’t overdo it” I warned playfully as I stole another kiss. For the next several hours I watched as Adam sat center stage with our daughter, the smile on his face so amazingly beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes.
The next couple of weeks were a whirlwind as we tried to get the hang of being new parents, finding it almost impossible with two well-meaning mothers staying in the house with us. It seemed that no matter how quick we were to take care of Payton’s needs, they were quicker. I swear in those few weeks we rarely got the chance to spend time with her and then when we did they were always right there to snatch her away. I was more than a little annoyed but I kept it to myself because I knew it was the first grandchild between both families and they loved her but after the third week of feeling more like a stranger to my daughter then her father I had had enough. After speaking to Adam one night as we laid in bed I told him of my plan to kick our parents out and as much as I thought he was going to fight me he seemed eager to get rid of them as well. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy and both mothers were not going to be happy but it was time for Adam and I to step up to the plate and be the father’s that Peyton needed us to be.
“Do you hear that Peyton…no grandparents” I heard Adam say as we sat on the couch two days later after practically forcing the parents to go home and live their lives again.
“Yes…the silence is nice but I don’t think either one of our mothers are going to forgive us for kicking them out” I told him because as expected they took offense to us asking them to leave and both were quite verbal about it.
“They’ll get over it because of this little beauty” Adam smiled as he held our sleeping daughter in his arms.
Our life after that became a whirlwind of activity as we learned what it truly was to be a parent. The first couple of months I don’t think Adam and I got more than a couple of hours of sleep a night because Peyton went through a phases where she wouldn’t sleep without one or the other holding her. I knew it was wrong to pick her up and hold each time that she cried but it just hurt my heart to hear her so upset when we put her down. Adam and I were so exhausted that we found ourselves snapping and arguing with each other constantly when Peyton wasn’t around, so much so that I got so angry one night after a heated argument over letting her cry herself to sleep that I called Adam every name in the book and stormed out. I was gone for several hours as I drove around the city in order to clear my head. I felt horrible for the way I had talked to Adam and I planned to do whatever I had to do to make up for it once I got home. “I’m sorry” I heard him say as I opened the door and found him sitting in the living room.
“No…I’m sorry” I cried out as I rushed to kneel in front of him. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you but…”
“But you’re tired because you haven’t slept in what feels like years” He cut me off. “Trust me I was thinking those exact same things about you” He chuckled as he laid his forehead on top of my head. “I’ve traveled the world over. I’ve gone weeks with hardly any sleep while performing show after show on tour and yet I’ve never felt as exhausted as I do now” He sighed, closing his eyes.
“Where is she?” I asked as he lifted his head and fell back against the cushion of the couch.
“She’s sleeping in her crib” He shrugged. “After you left I just couldn’t take it anymore so I put her in her crib and let her just cry herself to sleep. She literally cried for five minutes before she was out like a light. So I say while she’s sleeping her father and I go upstairs and…” He teased as he nuzzled around my face with his nose.
“And what?” I questioned with a playful smile of my face.
“Sleep baby…sleep” He smiled back.
“I think that sounds like an amazing idea” I supplied as I took his hand and the two of us raced for our bedroom. Six hours later we were up and at it again but it was the longest we had slept since bringing her home and it felt amazing. It was another couple of weeks before she finally decided to sleep through the night but by then Adam and I had our schedule down pat and we were all happier for it.
“Kris…Oh my god Kris get in here” I heard Adam cry out one night as I cooked us dinner in the kitchen.
“What…what is it?” I cried out in panic as I ran into the room, nearly killing myself as I lost my footing and ran into the wall.
“What the hell are you doing?” Adam laughed as I shook my head in order to clear it. “Stop playing around and look what our daughter can do” I had no idea what a four month old could do that would cause him to scream out like that but I kept those thoughts to myself as I sat down beside him. “Watch” He beamed at me before turning his eyes back to Peyton. “Who is daddy’s pretty girl…who is it?” He sang in a baby voice as he rocked her from side to side. “Are you daddy’s pretty girl? Yes you are...yes you are” He continued to speak to her as I rolled my eyes and prepared to go back to cooking. “Look…look” He cried out as I looked down and found our baby smiling up at us. “Get the camera” He nudged me but I couldn’t move because it was such a beautiful sight that it brought tears to my eyes. “Kris…get the camera” He nudged me harder as I rolled my eyes once again and did his bidding. We spent the next hour trying to get her to repeat the smile so we could capture it on film but she seemed a bit camera shy because the only time she would smile was when the camera wasn’t pointed in her direction. “She gets that from you” Adam said later that night as we prepared for bed.
“Gets what from me?” I asked as I laid down beside him.
“Hating being in front of a camera” He teased as he leaned over and kissed me.
“Smart baby” I smiled around a yawn as I lay down and pulled the man that I loved into my arms.
Through the coming months Peyton continued to grow and amaze us. I was sure that most parents went through the same thing but with each thing that she learned Adam and I boasted about it to everyone and anyone that would listen and even those that didn’t want to listen. I’m sure we annoyed a lot of people but they were all gracious enough to allow us to boast and preen about what we felt was the most precious and amazing baby in the world. I couldn’t have been happier as we lived in our little family bubble without a care in the world and as much as we wanted it to continue we both knew that real life and our commitments to our label were going to pop that bubble really soon.
As predicted two months before Peyton was to turn a year old we both got a call from our managers letting us know that the label had given us enough time off and it was time to get back into the studio and start recording. I figured they had been patient long enough and as much as it annoyed me that they felt they had given us enough time off I agreed to the meeting they were requesting. Adam however, did not take it well and absolutely refused to even consider going back to work. He was so angry that he fired every last one of his people but not before telling them exactly what he thought of their idea. After I convinced him to go take a hot bath and relax I called his manager back and hired them all back but not before they agreed that Adam did not need to be present for the meeting and that I would suffice. They weren’t happy about my request because there was no denying who the bigger star was between the two of us but it was all I had to offer so they either had to take it or possibly lose Adam as their client.
“You know this pisses me off so much” Adam whined several days later as I got ready to meet with the label. “It’s not fair Kris. We just had a baby and they can’t even give us time of to take care of her” He continued to complain.
“I know it doesn’t seem like a long enough time but remember that we are lucky that we got to take practically a whole year off to be with our little baby because most people would have been back to work long before this” I reminded as I sat down on the couch next to him and took Peyton out of his arms. “If I’m being honest with myself, I feel exactly the same way that you do but the fact of that matter is that the label is a business and it’s all about making money and you my dear are a huge money maker for them”
“You are a money maker too” He said and it caused me to smile because he refused to accept the fact that the money I brought it with my album and touring was not anywhere close to what he brought in for his.
“Daddy is going to miss you so much Sunshine” I told Peyton as I held her in my arms, my heart filled with so much love when she smiled up at me. “Daddy loves you so much” I continued as I leaned down and kissed her chubby cheek.
“What about me? Are you going to miss me?” Adam pretend pouted as he sat beside me and I couldn’t help but laugh because he looked so adorable.
“Every second that I’m gone” I replied as I leaned forward and kissed him soundly and as I broke that kiss I found that I meant every word of it. Adam and I had been through so much since the start of our relationship. We’d had our ups and downs, days where it seemed like being together wasn’t worth the fight and even a time when we’d given up and spent time apart. However, as I looked into his beautiful eyes and saw all the love and happiness shining back at me I knew that whatever we had gone through had been worth it. We were able to pull together and work through the confusion and obstacles in our lives and in the end we found ourselves closer than ever. We were partners for life and with Peyton added to the mix we were now a family and I knew without a doubt that there would be a marriage and more children in our future.
“You ok?” Adam asked with a bit of concern floating in his eyes.
“I just want you to know that I really just love you so much” I replied with a smile, tears of happiness glistening in my eyes. “I just love both of you so much” I said as I looked between him and our daughter feeling as if I were the luckiest man in the world.
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