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  01x04 - The Aliens of London
 Posted: 05/11/13 07:55
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The TARDIS materializes. Both Rose and the Doctor step out. The Doctor leans against the door and folds his arms.

ROSE : How long have I been gone ?

THE DOCTOR : About 12 hours.

They laugh.

ROSE : Oooh ! Right, I won't be long, I'm just gonna see my mum.

THE DOCTOR : What're you going to tell her ?

ROSE : I don't know ! I've been to the year 5 billion... and only been gone, what, 12 hours ?

The Doctor gives something between a laugh and a snort.

ROSE (CONT'D) : No, I'll just tell her I've spent the night at Shareens. See you later ! (Walks off, turns back). Oh, don't you disappear.

The Doctor gives her a look to say 'as if I would' and she runs off in the direction of the flats. He settles himself against the TARDIS to wait for her.


Rose runs up the stairs to her flat, grinning.


The Doctor wanders around with his arms folded outside and kicks an empty bottle across the yard. He spots a poster taped to a lamppost. He walks over to it and reads the writing "Can You Help ?" and sees a photograph of Rose.


Rose opens the door to her flat.

ROSE : I'm back ! It was Shareen. She was all upset again. Are you in ?

Her mum walks out of the kitchen holding a cup of tea.

ROSE (CONT'D) : So, what's been going on ? How've you been ?

Jackie looks as though she has seen a ghost.

ROSE (CONT'D) : What ? What's that face for ? It's not the first time I've stayed out all night.

Jackie drops the cup of tea and it smashes on the floor.


Outside, the Doctor gets the gist of the poster and runs to the flats.


JACKIE : It's you.

ROSE : Of course it's me !

JACKIE (shaken, teary) : Oh, my God. It's you. Oh my God.

She throws her arms around Rose, who looks alarmed. Then, over her sobbing mother's shoulder, she notices several variations of the same "Where is Rose ?" poster. At that moment, the Doctor comes crashing in.


It's not 12 hours, it's er... 12 months. You've been gone a whole year.

He laughs apologetically while Rose and Jackie both look at him, stunned.


Jackie looks back at Rose, stroking her hair.



A small boy is spraying the words "Bad Wolf " onto the side of the TARDIS. He then picks up his bike and rides off.


JACKIE (furious) : The hours I've sat here. Days and weeks and months all on my own. I thought you were dead. And where were you ? Travelling. What the hell does that mean ? Travelling ? That's no sort of answer.

Rose is sitting in an armchair while Jackie is giving her all she's got. A policeman is sitting in the other armchair.

JACKIE (CONT'D) (to the PC) : You ask her. She won't tell me ! That's all she says. Travelling.

ROSE : That's what I was doing.

JACKIE (gesturing furiously) : When your passport's still in the drawer ? It's just one lie after another !

ROSE : I meant to phone, I really did, I just... I forgot.

JACKIE : What, for a year ? You forgot for a year ? And I am left sitting here ? I just don't believe you. Why won't you tell me where you've been ?

THE DOCTOR : Actually, it's my fault. I sort of er, employed Rose as my companion.

POLICEMAN : When you say "companion", is this a sexual relationship ?


JACKIE (advancing dangerously on the Doctor) : Then what is it ? Because you, you waltz in here all charms and smiles, and the next thing I know, she vanishes off the face of the earth ! How old are you then ? 40 ? 45 ? What, you find her on the Internet ? Did you go online and pretend you're a doctor ?

THE DOCTOR : I AM a Doctor !

JACKIE : Prove it ! Stitch this, mate.

She slaps him hard around the face. The Doctor groans loudly while Rose rolls her eyes.


Jackie and Rose are hugging.

JACKIE : Did you think about me at all ?

They are both crying. Rose stands back slightly.

ROSE : I did ! All the time ! But...

JACKIE : One phone call. Just to know that you were alive !

ROSE : I'm sorry. I really am.

JACKIE : Do you know what terrifies me, is that you still can't say. What happened to you, Rose ? What could be so bad that you can't tell me, sweetheart ? Where were you ?

Rose cannot answer her.


Rose is sitting on a wall and the Doctor is leaning against it.

ROSE : I can't tell her. I can't even begin... she's never gonna forgive me. And I missed a year ? Was it good ?

THE DOCTOR : Middling.

ROSE : You're so useless.

THE DOCTOR : Well, if it's this much trouble, are you gonna stay here now ?

ROSE : I dunno. I can't do that to her again, though.

THE DOCTOR : Well, she's not coming with us.

Rose bursts out laughing and the Doctor joins in.

ROSE : No chance.

THE DOCTOR : I don't do families.

ROSE : She slapped you !

THE DOCTOR : 900 years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.

ROSE : Your face.

THE DOCTOR : It hurt!

ROSE : You're so gay !

The Doctor rubs his cheek, offended.

ROSE : When you say 900 years...

THE DOCTOR : That's my age.

ROSE : You're nine hundred years old.


ROSE : My mum was right. That is one hell of an age gap. (Jumps off the wall). Every conversation with you just goes mental. There's no one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things, and I'm the only person on planet earth who knows they exist.

Right on cue, a spacecraft narrowly misses their heads as it falls from the sky and heads for for Central London. It smashes into Big Ben, then lands with a splash in the Thames. The Doctor and Rose stand up with their mouths open.

ROSE (CONT'D) : Oh, that's just not fair.

The Doctor laughs gleefully, grabs her hand, and pulls her off in the direction of the action.


It is complete mayhem on the streets. The Doctor and Rose arrive on the scene.

THE DOCTOR : It's blocked off.

ROSE : We're miles from the centre. The scene must be grid locked. The whole of London must be closing down.

THE DOCTOR : I know, I can't BELIEVE I'm here to see this ! This is fantastic !

ROSE : Did you know this was going to happen ?


ROSE : Do you recognize the ship ?


ROSE : Do you know why it crashed ?


ROSE : Oh, I'm so glad I've got you.

THE DOCTOR : I bet you are ! This is what I travel for, Rose ! To see history happening right in front of us.

ROSE : Well, let's go and see it ! Never mind the traffic, we've got the TARDIS !

THE DOCTOR : Better not. They've already got one spaceship in the middle of London, don't want to shove another one on top.

ROSE : Yeah, but yours looks like a big blue box. No one's going to notice.

THE DOCTOR : You'll be surprised, an emergency like this, there'll be all kinds of people watching. Trust me, the TARDIS stays where it is.

Rose looks distinctly disgruntled.

ROSE : So, history's happening and we're stuck here.

THE DOCTOR : Yes, we are.

ROSE : We could always do what everybody else does.

The Doctor looks at her questioningly.

ROSE (CONT'D) : We could watch it on TV.

The Doctor looks as though this is a completely new idea to him.


NEWS READER : Big Ben destroyed as a UFO crash lands in Central London. Police reinforcements are drafted in from across the country to control wide-spread panic, looting and civil disturbance. A state of national emergency has been declared. Tom Hitchinson is at the scene.

The Doctor and Rose are watching the TV intently.

REPORTER : The police urge the public not to panic. There's a help line number on screen right now if you're worried about friends or family.

They the channel over to an American news channel.

NEWS READER : The military are on the lookout for more spaceships. Until then, all flights in North American air space have been grounded.

They turn it back to News 24.

REPORTER : The army are sending divers into the wreck of the spaceship. No one knows what they're going to find.

Back to the American channel.

NEWS READER : The President will address the nation live from the White House. But the Secretary General has asked that people watch the skies.

Jackie comes in to give Rose a cup of tea.

JACKIE : I've got no choice ! Either I make him welcome, or I run the risk of never seeing you again !

Both Jackie and her friend Marianna babble on angrily.

THE DOCTOR : Oi ! I'm trying to listen !

NEWS READER : ... his current whereabouts. News is just coming in, we can go to Tom at the embankments.

REPORTER : They've found a body.

The Doctor raises his eyebrows.

REPORTER (CONT'D) : It's unconfirmed but I'm being told a body has been found in the wreckage. A body of non-terrestrial origins. It's being brought ashore.

Jackie enters the room giving a bottle of wine to a couple of people.

JACKIE : Oh, guess who asked me out, Billy Crewe.

The Doctor shakes his head.

NEWS READER : Unconfirmed reports say that the body is of extra-terrestrial origin. An extraordinary event unfolding here live here in Central London. The body is being transferred to a secure unit mortuary. The whereabouts is yet unknown.

The TV changes channels a few times and comes to rest on Blue Peter.

BLUE PETER PRESENTER : And when you've stuck your things on, you can cover the whole lot...

The Doctor tries to wrestle the TV remote off a toddler on his lap.

BLUE PETER PRESENTER : Ooo, look at that. Then, ice it, any colour you want...Here's one I made a little bit earlier, look at that. Your very own spaceship ready to eat. And there's something a little extra special...

The Doctor changes the channel back to News 24.

NEWS READER : ... in hospital.

REPORTER : We still don't know whether it's alive or dead. Whitehall is denying everything. But the body has been brought here, Albian Hospital, the roads closed off - it's the closest to the river.

The little boy hops off the Doctors lap and stands in front of the TV screen. The Doctor points violently sideways.

THE DOCTOR : Go on !

The toddler wanders off.

REPORTER : I'm being told that... General Asquith is now entering the hospital. The building's evacuated. The patients have been moved out onto the streets. The police still won't confirm the presence of an alien body. Contained inside those walls...


A group of soldiers enter the mortuary inside the hospital. General Asquith approaches the table where the alien lies covered with a cloth.

ASQUITH : Let's have a look then.

Dr Sato pulls back the cloth.

ASQUITH (CONT'D) : Good God. That's real ? It's not a hoax or a dummy, or a... ?

Dr Sato shakes her head.

DR SATO : I've x-rayed the skull. It's wired up inside like nothing I've ever seen before. No one could make this up.

ASQUITH : We've got experts being flown in. Until they arrive... get that out of sight.

She nods and covers the alien again.


Two people shut the door of a mortuary shelf.


Dr Sato runs after Asquith as he makes to leave.

DR SATO : Excuse me, sir !

The captain stops and turns to face her.

DR SATO (CONT'D) : I know it's a state of emergency and there's a lot of rumour flying around, but is it true, what they're saying ? About the Prime Minister ?

The captain does not answer her. He leaves without another word, followed by soldiers. She stares after them then hurries in the opposite direction.


REPORTER : Mystery still surrounds there whereabouts of the prime minister. He's not been seen since the emergency began. The opposition are criticizing his lack of leadership. Hold on...

A man gets out of a car and enters 10 Downing Street.

REPORTER (CONT'D) : Oh, that's Joseph Green, MP for Hartley Dale. He's chairman of the parliamentary commission on the monitoring of sugar standards in exported confectionary. With respect, hardly the most important person right now.


When Joseph Green enters 10 Downing Street, his hand is shaken by the Junior Secretary.

INDRA : Indra Ganesh. Junior secretary. I'll be your liaison.

JOSEPH : Where the hell is he ?

INDRA : If we could talk in private, sir. Follow me, upstairs.

A woman approaches them from behind.

HARRIET : Excuse me ! Harriet Jones. MP for Flydale North.

INDRA : I'm sorry, can it wait ?

HARRIET : But I did have an appointment at 3:15.

INDRA : Yes. And a spaceship crashed in the middle of London. I think the schedule might have changed.

The two men turn away from her and make their way up the stairs.

INDRA : You've heard about the alien body, sir ?

JOSEPH : Never mind that, where is he ? Where's the Prime Minister ?

INDRA : No one knows, sir. He's disappeared. I have to inform you with the city grid locked and the cabinet stranded that makes you acting Prime Minister. With immediate effect.

JOSEPH : Oh, Lord. Oh, hold on/... (Farts loudly). Pardon me... nervous stomach. Anyway...


They run up the stairs. Indra indicates a fat blonde woman.

INDRA : Margaret Blaine. She's with MI5.

MARGARET : There's no more information, sir. I personally escorted the Prime Minister from the cabinet room to his car, this is Oliver Charles, transport liaison.

OLIVER : The car's disappeared. There's no record of it, sir - it literally vanished.

JOSEPH : Right, er, inside, tell me everything.

He ushers them into the cabinet room.

INDRA : Er, sir ?

Joseph turns around and Indra holds a red case out to him.

INDRA (CONT'D) : The emergency protocols. Detailing the actions to be taken by the government of Great Britain in the event of an alien incursion.

JOSEPH : Right ! Good ! (Farts). Blimey !

Indra looks slightly worried.

JOSEPH (CONT'D) : Pardon me. (Takes the case). Get to work, eh ?


He enters the room after Margaret and Oliver and slams the case down on the long table. He then looks across at them and starts laughing. A few seconds later they join in. Soon, they are all in hysterics.


It is dark. The Doctor slips outside the back door of Rose's flat. Rose emerges after him.

ROSE : And where do you think you're going ?

THE DOCTOR : Nowhere ! It's just a bit human in there for me. History just happened and they're talking about where you can buy dodgy top up cards for half price. I'm off on a wander, that's all.

ROSE : Right. There's a spaceship on the Thames and you're just "wandering".

THE DOCTOR : Nothing to do with me ! It's not an invasion ! That was a genuine crash landing. Angle of descent, colour of smoke, everything ! It's perfect !

ROSE : So...

THE DOCTOR : So maybe this is it ! First contact ! The day mankind officially comes into contact with an alien race. I'm not interfering because you've GOT to handle this on your own. That's when the human race finally grows up. Just this morning you were all tiny and small and made of clay ! Now you can expand !

He laughs in delight. Rose smiles.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) : You don't need me. Go and celebrate history. Spend some time with your mum.

He walks away.

ROSE : Promise you won't disappear ?

The Doctor stops and turns around again. He feels his jacket pockets.

THE DOCTOR : Tell you what, TARDIS key. (Hands it to her). About time you had one. (Grins). See you later !

He leaves. Rose looks down at the key in her hand, closes her fist around it and walks back to the flat door, looking distinctly chuffed.


The Doctor leaves the block of flats. There is a raucous party on the third floor with a banner hanging over the balcony saying "THE ALIENS HAVE LANDED". A banner hanging from another window says "WELCOME TO OUR WORLD". A woman spots the Doctor and calls down to him.

WOMAN : Hey, gorgeous ! Come back and join the party !

Mickey emerges onto another balcony higher up. He picks up a trainer, smells it, and makes a face of disgust. He watches the Doctor look at a sign in a shop window saying "HELLO ET" and then does a double take as the Doctor walks up to the TARDIS taking a bunch of keys out of his pocket.

MICKEY : Oh my God !

He runs back inside taking the smelly trainers with him.


The Doctor enters the TARDIS, grinning. He runs to the console, smacks down a few buttons and turns a handle and beams up at it when it starts to move.


Outside, the TARDIS begins to disappear just as Mickey runs out of the flats.

MICKEY : Oi, Doctor ! Doctooooooooor !

He sprints up to the TARDIS and throws himself at it, but just ends up hitting the heavily graffitied corrugated iron behind it and falls backwards from the impact. He gets up again and brushes himself down, casting furtive looks around him to make sure no one saw him. He then walks off with as much dignity as he can muster.


The console starts to smoke. Looking slightly put-out, the Doctor hits it a couple of times with a hammer. Amazingly, this helps, and the Doctor kisses the hammer and gazes up at the console with a childish beam on his face.


10 Downing Street is heavily guarded on the outside.


Harriet Jones places a cup of coffee on Indra's desk. He looks up at her.

HARRIET : I bet no one's bought you a coffee.

She laughs slightly.

INDRA : Thank you.

HARRIET : Pleasure.

He picks the cup up. She doesn't leave, but looks down at him expectantly.

INDRA : You still can't go in.

HARRIET : Damn, you've seen through my cunning plan.

INDRA : Look, I'm sorry. It's just impossible.

He gets up.

HARRIET : Not even for two minutes ?

He shakes his head.

HARRIET (CONT'D) : I don't get many chance to walk these corridors. I'm hardly one of the babes, just a faithful back bencher. And I know we've had a brave new world land right on our doorstep, and that's wonderful. I think that's probably wonderful. Nevertheless, ordinary life keeps ticking away. (Rifles through her handbag and pulls out a folder). I need to enter this paper.

Joseph Green, Margaret Blaine and Oliver Charles emerge from the cabinet room.

HARRIET (CONT'D) : Oh ! Mr. Green, sir, I know you're busy, but could you put this on the next cabinet agenda ?

JOSEPH : What is it ?

HARRIET : Cottage hospitals...

Joseph looks at Indra in alarm who gives an apologetic and resigned wave of his hand.

HARRIET (CONT'D) : I've worked out a system whereby cottage hospitals do not have to be excluded from centers of excellence. You see, my mother's in the Flydale infirmary. That's my constituency, tiny lisle place, you wouldn't know it, but to give me a chance to...

JOSEPH : By all the saints, get some perspective, woman! I'm busy.

All of them, including Indra, file out of the room, each giving her a funny look as they pass. Harriet is left alone holding her papers. She looks to make sure they are really gone, then slips into the cabinet room.


Harriet places her papers on the table, on top of the emergency protocols. She then seems to change her mind and picks them up again. She opens the case and puts it inside instead. Satisfied, she is just about to close it again when she spots the folder with "Emergency Protocols - Classified Information" written on the front. She sits on the chair in front of the case and opens the folder. She begins to read the first page with a look of awe on her face.


Dr Sato settles herself in front of her desk, picks a pen up and begins to write. She hears a thumping noise in the distance. She pauses for a moment but then decides to ignore it. Then she hears it again. She turns around. The thumping repeats itself over and over again. It seems to be coming from the place where the alien was put. She stares at it warily.


The Doctor emerges from the TARDIS, which seems to have landed squashed up in a small storeroom. He looks around in slight confusion and then makes his way to the door. He turns on his sonic screwdriver, which makes a loud buzzing noise. He turns it off again hurriedly.



Dr Sato edges towards the door of the alien's cupboard. The thumping has become even more frantic, as though something is running around inside, banging against the walls.


The Doctor finishes unlocking the door, puts his sonic screwdriver away and opens it.


The Doctor finds himself in a room where about 20 soldiers are sitting around talking and laughing. They fall silent when he opens the door. There is a pause while they all stare at each other, then they all leap to their feet and point their guns at him. The Doctor grins. Again.


Dr Sato approaches the door. She pulls it open and screams.


Upon hearing the scream, the Doctor stops smiling and runs to the door.

THE DOCTOR : Defence part delta ! Come on, move, move !

All the soldiers follow him from the room in the direction of the scream.


They run down the corridors. The Doctor spots Dr Sato cowering on the floor.

DR SATO : It's alive !

The Doctor turns to the men behind him.

THE DOCTOR : Spread out. Tell the perimeter it's a lock down.

He runs to Dr Sato's side and holds her hands.

DR SATO : My God, it's still alive.

The men are still standing there watching them.

THE DOCTOR : Do it !

They run off and start searching the building. The Doctor turns back to Dr Sato. Blood is leaking out from under her hairline.

DR SATO : I swear it was dead.

THE DOCTOR : Coma, shock, hibernation, anything. What does it look like ?

There is a slight sound from behind him. He turns around quickly.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) : It's still here.

He stands up and beckons another soldier into the room. He walks forward quietly, looking for the source of the sound. When he hears another rattling, he drops to his knees and crawls to peer behind the desk. From the other side of the desk, the face of a pig peers back at him, snorting.


The pig squeals in terror and runs across the room. The soldier readies his gun.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) : Don't shoot !

The pig runs along the corridor. One of the soldiers points his gun at it and shoots before the Doctor can stop him.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) : What did you do that for ? It was scared !

The soldier looks from him to the pig in alarm. The Doctor crouches down to look at the pig.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) : It was scared.

He strokes the pig as it dies.


Harriet Jones hears voices approaching the cabinet room.

ASQUITH : I've got the White House phoning me direct because Downing Street won't answer their calls ! This is outrageous ! We haven't even started the vaccination prota. This is appalling. The nations of the world are watching the United Kingdom !

JOSEPH : Well, it has all been a bit of a shock.

ASQUITH : This is the greatest crisis in modern history and you've done nothing ! Your behaviour has been shameful, sir. You're supposed to be in charge and we need positive leadership. The capital's ground to a halt.

They enter the room. Harriet disappears into a cupboard just in time.

ASQUITH : Furthermore, we can only assume that the Prime Minister's disappearance is the direct result of hostile alien action. And what have you been doing ? Nothing.

JOSEPH : Sorry ! Sorry. Uh... I thought I was Prime Minister now.

ASQUITH : Only by default.

JOSEPH : Ooooh, that's not fair ! I've been having such fun.

The Captain looks outraged.

ASQUITH : You think this is FUN ?

JOSEPH : It's a hoot, this job.

Joseph, Margaret and Oliver all start to laugh.

MARGARET : Honestly ! It's super !

Oliver farts.

OLIVER : Oh! S'cuse me !(Farts again). Ooo !

They burst out laughing again.

ASQUITH : What's going on here ? And where's the rest of the cabinet ? Why haven't they been air lifted in ?

JOSEPH : Cancelled it. They'd only get in the way.(Farts). Oh, there I go.

He farts twice more, heartily. Margaret joins in.

MARGARET : Oh, and me ! I'm shaking my booty.

More hysterical laughter punctuated by farts.

ASQUITH : Sir ! Under section 5 of the emergency protocols, it is my duty to relieve you of command.

Joseph stops laughing and looks up at the captain darkly.

ASQUITH : And by God, I'll put this country under marshal law if I have to.

JOSEPH (sarcastically) : Oh, I'm SCARED. I mean, that's hair raising. I mean, literally. Look !

He unzips his forehead. A bright blue light shines from the gap. Bewildered, the captain looks at the other two, who also unzip their foreheads. Where she is watching from a crack through the door, Harriet's eyes widen in shock. There are some disgusting and worrying noises from the cabinet room and Harriet leans back against the wall of the cupboard, horrified.


Dr Sato and the Doctor are standing over the pig's body.

DR SATO : I just assumed that's what alien's look like. But you're saying it's an ordinary pig ? From Earth ?

THE DOCTOR : More like a mermaid. Victorian showmen used to draw the crowds by taking the skull of a cat and gluing it to a fish and calling it a mermaid. Now, someone's taken a pig, opened up it's brain, stuck bits on... then they strapped it in that ship and made it dive bomb. It must've been terrified. They've taken this animal and turned it into a joke.

DR SATO : So it's a fake. A pretend. Like the mermaid. But the technology augmenting its brain... it's like nothing on Earth. It's alien. Aliens are faking aliens. But why would they do that...? (Turns to face the Doctor, only to find he has vanished). Doctor ?

Hurries from room after him.


Dr Sato looks up and down a long corridor.

DR SATO : Doctor ?

She turns as she hears the sound of the TARDIS engines. Obviously, she does not know what this sound is.


Rose's sitting room is extremely crowded. Jackie raises her wine glass in a toast.

JACKIE : Here's to the Martians !

EVERYONE : The Martians !

Mickey appears in the doorway. The laughter dies away as he stares at Rose in her armchair. She looks around to see why everyone has gone quiet and sits up quickly when she sees him standing there.

ROSE : I was gonna come and see you.

He just stares at her.

WOMAN : Someone owes Mickey an apology.

ROSE : I'm sorry.

WOMAN : Not you.

Looks at Jackie.

JACKIE : It's not my fault. Be fair. What was I supposed to think ?

Gives Mickey a look and walks into the kitchen.


MICKEY : You disappear, who do they turn to ? Your boyfriend. Five times, I was taken in for questioning. Five times. No evidence, of course there couldn't be, could there. And then I get her, your mother. (Points at Jackie who rolls her eyes). Whispering around the estate, pointing the finger, stuff through my letterbox, and all 'cos of you.

ROSE : I didn't think I'd be gone so long.

MICKEY : And I waiting for you, Rose ! Twelve months. Waiting for you and the Doctor to come back.

JACKIE : Hold on, you knew about the Doctor ? Why didn't you tell me ?

Mickey notices someone trying to listen through the window into the kitchen. He slams them shut and closes the door.

MICKEY : Yeah, yeah. Why not, Rose ? Huh ? How could I tell her where you went ?

JACKIE : Tell me now.

MICKEY : I might as well, 'cos you're stuck here. The Doctor's gone. Just now, that box thing just faded away.

ROSE : What do you mean ?

MICKEY : He's left you. Some boyfriend HE turned out to be.

Rose runs from the kitchen, grabbing a jacket from the back of the door on her way out. Mickey follows her. Jackie stays sitting down, looking frustrated.


Rose and Mickey are standing at the spot where the TARDIS was parked.

ROSE : He wouldn't just go, he promised me.

MICKEY : Oh, he's dumped you, Rose. Sailed off into space. How does it feel, huh ? Now you are left behind with the rest of us Earthlings. Get used to it.

ROSE : But he would have said.

Jackie walks over to them.

JACKIE : What're you two chimps going on about ? What's going on ? What's this Doctor done now ?

Mickey chortles.

MICKEY : He's vamoosed !

ROSE (angrily) : He's not ! 'Cos he gave me this !

She shows him the TARDIS key. Mickey gives a "so what ?" sort of shrug.

ROSE (CONT'D) : He's not my boyfriend, Mickey, he's better than that. He's much more important than...

She breaks off as the TARDIS key starts to glow in time with the sound of the TARDIS engines.

ROSE (CONT'D) : I said so.

The engines get louder. Rose turns to her mother.

ROSE (CONT'D) (urgently) : Mum ! Mum, go inside. Mum, don't stand there, just go inside. Just, mum, go...

But Jackie is not listening to her. She is staring transfixed over Rose's shoulder, where the TARDIS is appearing out of thin air. The engines grind to a halt. Mickey points to the TARDIS meaningfully.


Jackie stares at it in amazement.

JACKIE : How'd you do that, then ?

Rose looks at her warily.


Rose enters the TARDIS where the Doctor is looking at the computer screen.

THE DOCTOR : Alright, so I lied ! I went and had a look, but the whole crash landing's a fake, I thought so, it's just too perfect. I mean, "hitting Big Ben" come on, so I thought let's go and have a look...

ROSE : My mum's here.

The door creaks open and Jackie and Mickey enter. The Doctor looks around.

THE DOCTOR : Oh, that's just what I need. Don't you dare make this place domestic !

MICKEY : You ruined my life, Doctor.

The Doctor spins smoothly around to face him.

MICKEY (CONT'D) : They thought she was dead. I was a murder suspect because of you.

THE DOCTOR (to Rose) : See what I mean ? Domestic.

The Doctor spins back to face the computer screen. Mickey takes a few steps towards him.

MICKEY : I bet you don't even remember my name !


MICKEY : It's Mickey.

THE DOCTOR : No, it's Ricky.

MICKEY : I think I know my own name.

THE DOCTOR : You THINK you know your own name ? How stupid are you ?

Jackie, who has been looking around the TARDIS with a bewildered expression, turns and runs outside again.

ROSE : Mum, don't ! (To the Doctor). Don't go anywhere ! (To Mickey). Don't start a fight !


Jackie runs outside and back to the flats. Rose pursues her out of the doors.

ROSE (CONT'D) : Mum, it's not like that ! He's not... I'll be up in a minute, hold on !


She runs back inside the TARDIS and back to the Doctor's side, where he is looking at his monitor again.

ROSE (CONT'D) : That was a real spaceship ?


ROSE : So, it's all a pack of lies ? What is it then, are they invading ?

Mickey is on tip-toes peering at the screen over their shoulders.

MICKEY : Funny way to invade, putting the world on red alert.

THE DOCTOR (mildly impressed) : Good point ! So, what're they up to ?


On the TV, a news channel - footage of the spaceship crash landed in the Thames.

REPORTER : As the crisis continues and the government shows remarkable lack of leadership, paranoia sweeps the country.

Jackie is sitting on the end of her bed, looking frustrated and restless. She sighs and kneads her forehead.

REPORTER (CONT'D) : There have been at least three reports of public assaults on people publicly identified as aliens.

Jackie's look of anxiety increases.

REPORTER (CONT'D) : And now back to Tom Kitchnenson.

Jackie falls back onto the bed, her hands over her face.

TOM KITCHENSON : Are there more ships to come ?

Jackie turns her attention to the television.

TOM KITCHENSON (CONT'D) : What is their intention ? The authorities are now asking if ANYONE knows ANYTHING. If any previous sighting has been made, then call this number.

Jackie reaches for the telephone.

TOM KITCHENSON (CONT'D) : We need your help.

Jackie dials the number on the screen. The first two times it is engaged. The third time, she manages to get through.

JACKIE : Yes ! I've seen one. I really have, an alien. And she's with him ! My daughter, she's with him. And she's not safe. Oh, my God... she's not safe.

Jackie exhales and sits back down on the foot of the bed.

JACKIE (CONT'D) : I've seen an alien. And I know his name, he's called "The Doctor".


The words 'The Doctor' are typed into a computer.


JACKIE : It's a box. A blue box.


"Blue Box" is typed in.


JACKIE : She called it a "TARDIS".


"TARDIS" is typed in. An alarm goes off.


Indra enters at a run. The computer screen is flashing the words : RED ALERT - THE DOCTOR.


Inside the TARDIS, Mickey peers curiously down at the Doctor, where he is once again wedged under the console.

MICKEY : So, what're you doing down there ?

THE DOCTOR (muffled, due to the sonic screwdriver he's holding between his teeth) : Ricky.

MICKEY : Mickey.

THE DOCTOR (takes the sonic screwdriver out of his mouth to make himself clearer) : Ricky.

Mickey rolls his eyes, irked.

THE DOCTOR : If I was to tell you what I was doing to the controls of my frankly magnificent time ship, would you even begin to understand ?

MICKEY : I suppose not...

THE DOCTOR : Shut it, then.

He puts the sonic screwdriver back between his teeth. Mickey gives him the evil eye, and moves back round the console to where Rose is standing.

MICKEY : Some friend you've got.

ROSE : He's winding you up.

Mickey still looks slightly upset. He does not answer.

ROSE : I am sorry.

MICKEY : It's okay.

ROSE (earnestly) : I am, though !

MICKEY : Every day, I looked. On every street corner, wherever I went, looking for a blue box for a whole year.

ROSE : It's only been a few days for me. I don't know, it's... it's hard to tell inside this thing but I swear it's just a few days since I left you.

MICKEY : Not enough time to miss me, then ?

ROSE (smiles) : I did miss you.

MICKEY : I missed you.

ROSE : So, erm... in twelve months, have you been seeing anyone else ?


ROSE : 'Kay...

MICKEY : Mainly because everyone thinks I murdered you.

ROSE : Right.

MICKEY : So... now that you've come back... are you gonna stay ?

He leans in to kiss her, but the moment is broken by the sound of sparks from beneath the console.

THE DOCTOR : Got it ! Haha !

Rose moves to the other side of the console to join him.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) : Patched in the radar, looped it back twelve hours so we can follow the flight of the spaceship, here we go... hold on... (Whacks the computer screen). Come on! (Shows Rose the graphic on the screen). That's the spaceship on it's way to Earth... see ? Except... hold on... see, the spaceship did a sling shot round the Earth before it landed.

ROSE : What does that mean ?

THE DOCTOR : It means it came from Earth in the first place, it went up and came back down. Whoever those aliens are, they haven't just arrived. They've been here for a while. The question is, what have they been doing ?


In the cabinet room, the alien who was previously inside the body of Oliver is now finishing putting on the skin suit of the General Asquith.

ASQUITH : What do you think ? How's the compression ? I think I've got too much ballast round the middle...(Farts). Ah, that's better.

From the cupboard, Harriet Jones's eyes widen with shock and confusion.

MARGARET : We've really got to fix the gas exchange. It's getting ridiculous.

JOSEPH : I don't know, it seems very human to me. Ah, better get rid of his skin...

Asquith picks up the discarded skin of Oliver.

ASQUITH : Shame ! I quite enjoyed being Oliver. He had a wife, a mistress, and a young farmer.

He makes towards the cupboard where Harriet is standing. She retreats further to the back. He opens the door and chucks the skin inside. He looks back at Margaret and Joseph.

ASQUITH (CONT'D) : God, I was busy.

They laugh. He shuts the door again.

JOSEPH : Back to work !

ASQUITH : I have an army to command !

MARGARET : Careful now...

They leave the room, their voices retreating. Harriet picks up the discarded skin of Oliver, and examines it.


Indra rushes up to Margaret, Asquith and Joseph.

INDRA : General Asquith ! Sir, we've had a priority alarm. It's code nine confirmed code nine.

Harriet Jones hurries out of the cupboard.

ASQUITH : Code nine, huh ? Which would mean...?

Margaret gives a small and apologetic laugh while Joseph shakes his head behind him.

INDRA : Well, in the event of the emergency protocols being activated... we've got software that automatically searches all communications for key words. And one of those words is "Doctor". I think we've found him, sir.

MARGARET : What sort of Doctor ? Who is he ?

INDRA : Well, evidently he's some sort of expert in extra-terrestrial affairs, the ultimate expert ! And we need him, sir. We need him here right now !

Harriet pulls a face.


The Doctor is switching the television from channel to channel.

MICKEY : How many channels do you get ?

THE DOCTOR : All the basic packages.

MICKEY : You get sports channels ?

THE DOCTOR : Yes, I get the football. (Looks back at the screen). Hold on, I know that bloke.

REPORTER : It is looking likely that the government is bringing in alien specialists, those people who have devoted their lives to studying outer space.

THE DOCTOR : UNIT ! United Nations Intelligence Task force, good people.

ROSE : How do you know them ?

MICKEY : 'Cos he's worked for them. Yeah, don't think I sat on my backside for twelve months, Doctor. I read up on you. You look deep enough on the Internet... and in the history books, and there's his name. Followed by a list of the dead.

THE DOCTOR : That's nice. Good boy, Ricky.

ROSE : If you know them, why don't you go and help ?

THE DOCTOR : They wouldn't recognize me. I've changed a lot since the old days. Besides, the world's on a knife-edge. There's aliens out there and fake aliens. We want to keep this alien out of the mix. I'm going undercover... and eh, better keep the TARDIS out of site. Rickey ! You've got a car - you can do some driving.

He walks towards the TARDIS door.

MICKEY : Where to ?!

THE DOCTOR : The roads are clearing. Let's go and have a look at that spaceship.


They step out of the TARDIS to the sound of helicopters. They are immediately caught out by a searchlight.

LOUDSPEAKER : Do not move !

Police cars and soldiers surround them, pointing guns and them and preventing their escape. Mickey makes a run for it. Jackie runs out of the flats and tries to get to Rose but two soldiers restrain her.


Mickey is hiding behind some dustbins. The Doctor and Rose are standing in the centre looking slightly confused in the searchlight.

LOUDSPEAKER : Raise your hands above your head ! You are under arrest !

The Doctor and Rose obey.

THE DOCTOR : Take me to your leader !


Rose clambers into the back of a police car next to the Doctor. The door shuts and they drive off.

ROSE : This is a bit posh. If I knew it was gonna be like this, being arrested, I'd have done it years ago.

THE DOCTOR : We're not being arrested, we're being escorted !

ROSE : Where to ?

THE DOCTOR : Where'd you think ? Downing Street !

He laughs. Rose joins in.

ROSE : You're kidding.

THE DOCTOR : I'm not !

ROSE : 10 Downing Street ?

THE DOCTOR : That's the one !

Rose laughs with glee.

ROSE : Oh, my God ! I'm going to 10 Downing Street ?

The Doctor nods, grinning.

ROSE : How come ?

THE DOCTOR : I hate to say it, but Mickey was right. Over the years I've visited this planet a lot of times, and I've been, uh, noticed.

ROSE : Now they need you ?

THE DOCTOR : Like it said on the news, they're gathering experts in alien knowledge. And who's the biggest expert of the lot ?

He grins expectantly at her.

ROSE : Patrick Moore ?

THE DOCTOR : Apart from him !

ROSE : Ah, don't you just love it...

THE DOCTOR : I'm telling you, Lloyd George, he used to drink me under the table. Who's the Prime Minister now ?

ROSE : How should I know ? I missed a year.


The car pulls up outside 10 Downing Street. The paparazzi and hundreds of police men are there. The Doctor gets out of the car and waves at them all, grinning manically. Rose smiles nervously and the looks up at 10 Downing Street.

ROSE (under her breath) : Oh my God !

She follows the Doctor inside.


Jackie is talking to three police officers.

JACKIE : So, she's alright then ? She's not in any trouble ?

STRICKLAND : Well, all I can say is, your daughter and her 'companion' might be in a position to help the country. We'll need to know how she made contact with this man, if he is a man. (Sits down with a loud grumble from his belly). Oh ! Right, off you go then. I need to talk to Mrs Tyler on my own, thank-you.

The other two police officers exit the flat.


Harriet Jones slips inconspicuously down the stairs. She enters a room where the alien experts are standing around talking, waiting for the meeting to begin. She flashes her ID card at the policeman standing guard at the door.

HARRIET : Harriet Jones, MP, Flydale North.

She mingles amongst the people. Indra enters.

INDRA : Ladies and Gentlemen, could we convene ? Quick as we can, please. It's this way on the right and can I remind you, ID cards are to be worn at all times. (Approaches the Doctor, gives him an ID card). Here's your ID card. I'm sorry, your companion doesn't have clearance.

THE DOCTOR : I don't go anywhere without her.

Loops the ID card around his neck.

INDRA : You're the code nine, not her.

Harriet sidles up to them.

INDRA (CONT'D) : I'm sorry, Doctor... it is the Doctor, isn't it ? She'll have to stay outside.

THE DOCTOR : She's staying with me.

INDRA : Look, even I don't have clearance to go in there. I can't let her in and that's a fact.

ROSE (to the Doctor) : It's alright, you go.

Harriet appears at Indra's shoulder.

HARRIET : Excuse me ? Are you the Doctor ?

Indra looks positively exasperated.

INDRA : Not now, we're busy. Can't you go home ?

THE DOCTOR (to Rose) : Are you sure ?

ROSE : Yeah, they're the experts, you should hear what they've got to say.

THE DOCTOR : I s'pose so. Don't get into any trouble.

The Doctor follows the other experts into the room.

HARRIET (to Indra) : I just need a word in private.

INDRA : You haven't got clearance, now leave it ! (Takes Rose's arm). I'm going to have to leave you with security.

Begins to lead her away.

HARRIET : It's alright. I'll look after her. Let me be of some use. (To Rose). Walk with me. Just keep walking...

They walk past the guards at the door.

HARRIET (CONT'D) : That's right... don't look round ! Harriet Jones, MP Flydale North.

Shows Rose her ID card.


The experts are sitting down in their seats. Joseph and Asquith make their way to the desk at the front. The Doctor enters last and takes a seat at the back of the room, reading the booklet he finds on the chair extremely quickly.


Harriet is outside in the corridor talking to Rose.

HARRIET (upset and distressed) : This friend of yours... he's an expert, is that right ? He knows about aliens ?

ROSE : Why do you wanna know ?

Harriet breaks down into tears. Rose takes her arms awkwardly in an attempt to comfort her.


ASQUITH : Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to have your attention please. As you can see from the summaries in front of you, the ship had one porcine occupant...

THE DOCTOR : Now, the really interesting bit happened three days ago, see, filed away under every other business. The North Sea, the satellite detected a signal, a little blip of radiation at one hundred fathoms like there was something down there... you were just about to investigate and the next thing you know, this happens, spaceships, pigs, massive diversion, from what ?


Harriet Jones is back in the cabinet room and showing Rose the body suit of Oliver.

HARRIET : They turned the body into a suit ! A disguise for the thing inside !

Bursts into tears again.

ROSE : It's alright ! I believe you. It's... it's alien. They must have some serious technology behind this... if we could find it... (Starts rummaging around the room)... we could use it.

She opens a cupboard and the Prime Minister's body falls out. Rose and Harriet hurry to examine it.

ROSE (CONT'D) : Oh, my God ! Is that...?

Indra enters.

INDRA : Harriet, for God's sake ! This has gone beyond a joke, you cannot just wander... (Spots the body on the floor). Oh, my God. That's the Prime Minister !


The Doctor is still lecturing the experts, Asquith and Joseph.

THE DOCTOR : If aliens fake an alien crash and an alien pilot, what do they get ? (aA pause as he works it out). Us. They get us. It's not a diversion, it's a trap.



Indra, Rose and Harriet turn to see Margaret enter the cabinet room.

MARGARET (CONT'D) : Has someone been naughty ?

They look at each other. Margaret shuts the door behind her.


Jackie goes into the kitchen. She is still speaking to the officer, Strickland.

JACKIE : It was bigger on the inside. I dunno, what do I know about spaceships ?

STRICKLAND : That's what worries me. You see, this man is classified as "trouble". Which means that anyone associated with him uis trouble. (Looks at Jackie through the hatch, retreats back into the living room)/ And that's my job. (Takes off his hat to reveal a zip on his forehead). Eliminating trouble.

He starts to undo the zip, filling the room with a blue light.


INDRA : That's impossible. He left this afternoon. The Prime Minister left Downing Street, he was driven away !

MARGARET : And who told you that ? Hmm? (Walks to the baffled Indra). Me.

Strokes the hair from her forehead.


THE DOCTOR : This is all about us.

The experts all look intrigued.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) : Alien experts, the only people with knowledge how to fight them gathered together in one room.

Joseph farts. The Doctor raises his eyebrows and fixes him with a pointed look.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) : Excuse me, do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world ?

JOSEPH : Would you rather silent but deadly ?

Asquith and Joseph snigger. The Doctor stares at them. Asquith takes off his hat and undoes the zip on his forehead while Joseph laughs manically. Asquith pulls the skin suit down and reveals the Slitheen inside. The Doctor stares at him, transfixed.


Margaret pulls her skin suit, revealing herself to the disgust and shock of Indra, Harriet and Rose.


Jackie pauses halfway through making the tea. The flickering blue light is filling the whole flat. She tentatively walks to the kitchen door.


Asquith finishes shrugging off his skin suit. Joseph is still cackling evilly.


Jackie, now framed in the doorway of the kitchen, beholds the alien. Her eyes widen with shock. She takes deep breaths.


Margaret is now entirely out of her skin suit. She stands before Rose, Indra and Harriet who all look astounded.


Asquith, also out of his skin suit, straightens up and addresses the room.

SLITHEEN/ASQUITH : We are the Slitheen.


Margaret roars in delight and grabs Indra between her claws, pinning him up against the wall. He shouts as she strangles him.


The Slitheen advances on Jackie. She screams and backs against the counter, sinking against it as the Slitheen raises his claw to strike.


JOSEPH : Thank you all for wearing your ID cards. (Takes a weapon from his pocket, at the ready...). They'll help to identify the bodies.

He presses the button. Everyone in the room is bathed in electric light. The Doctor falls to his knees in pain.


Margaret strangles Indra. Harriet and Rose wince.


Jackie screams as the Slitheen prepares to strike.


The Doctor shouts in pain as his whole body shakes. Joseph has a savage pleasure in his eyes. Asquith laughs.


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