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  01x08 - The Heap
 Posted: 06/04/14 07:07
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[Whimsical ukulele music]

[Person whistling picks up tune]

Mr. Nygaard?

Oh, you betcha.


She's a beaut.


Got the low water feature but don't skimp on torque.

Am I taking the old one?

Yeah, if that's...

They said on the phone it'd be no problem.

Oh, sure.

It's no problem.

The T-160, huh?




See why you're trading her in.

She's a real lemon.

Motor mount.

Chinese used plastic screws.

Bet she bucked like a bronco.

You do not know the half of it.

Stopped making 'em pretty quick.

Recalled, I think.

Surprised to see her, truth be told.

You'd be better off washing your clothes between two rocks, you know what I mean?

[Delivery man continues chattering indistinctly]

[Cheerful whistling begins again]

♪ ♪

They got Chazz up at Faribault till the trial.

Gordo's at Red Wing, which is...

Well, you know, at least they're close.

His lawyer thinks we can plea it down to probation,

time served.

For murder?

No, Gordo...


On the gun charge.



Well, good riddance.

Don't care what that man gets.

No, sir.

Not after what he did.

Killing my wife, you mean?


Well, yeah.

Yeah, of course that.

But also...

Well, I mean, look at me.

I was Miss Hubbard County, for Pete's sake.

You don't cheat on Miss Hubbard County.

I just don't believe it, you know?

I mean, just three weeks ago, we were sitting around the table... eating ham.

And now Gordo's having his night terrors again. Plus, we have to sell everything to pay the legal bills.

Did you know... Chazz bought a time share in a boat?

Well, I didn't even know that was a thing.

Yeah, it's a thing.

So if there's anything from the house you want... you know, like I was thinking maybe Chazz's hunting gear... I boxed it up for you.

Not sure it's anything you want.

Oh, sure.

That'd... that'd be fine.

Thank you.


[Clears throat]


If there's anything I can do.

Oh, Lester, you are so sweet.

I am the one who should be saying that after what he did to you, my husband.

Ooh, what'd you get?

New washer.

The old one...

Well, I had to get rid of everything from the basement, you know, on account of all the...

You deserve it, Lester.

All good things, you deserve.

[Variation on Beethoven's Ninth Symphony]

♪ ♪

Back to it, then?

Looks like.

Doc cleared me for duty, so...


More flowers came for you from Duluth.

A smarter man would think you were being wooed.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Put 'em up where we can see 'em at least.


So you got a strategy on this Lester thing?

Well, I'm just gonna walk in and say, "Bill, we..."

If you think it's best.

The direct approach.

Your point being?

Got no point.


Bye, dad.

Chief, are you busy?

What's that?

Said, "Are you busy?"

Got a request for your attendance.

Can it wait?

I just ate an omelet.

Waiting for it to digest.

Oh, yeah?

What kind?

Well, it was mushrooms and cheese.

Sally make it?

[Chuckles] Yeah.

She wrapped it in tinfoil to keep it warm.

Molly needs you is the thing.

Asked me to see if you'd come down to the staff room.

She's back already?



Thought I had another day.

All right.

Let's go see what we're gonna do today.

There she is, the gunfighter.

Hey, Chief.

Nice collage.

You take up basket weaving too in your downtime?

Yeah, it's just some loose ends I wanted to...

Molly, before you...

[Clears throat]

I want you to know...

I'm not too proud to say I was wrong on the Lester case.

I had the wrong idea.

I thought it was a drifter thing, which was the wrong way to go, clearly.

But, you know, some good police work, and we caught the guy, so...


Well, that... that's the problem, actually, is that you're still...


Still what?


I'm sorry...

I mean, no disrespect.

It's just... it doesn't make any sense.

I mean...

I mean, the brother?

With all the things we know are true?

I've been lying in bed just thinking about this.

And for example, okay, if it was the brother, then how do we explain the phone call from Lester's to the motel...

Molly, darn it now, just...

You can't keep going over...

It's time.

You got to let it go.

We did our job.

The brother Nygaard killed the wife.

And he cornered and shot the Chief.

And Lester was covering for him on account of the brother thing, which explains...

We had drinks to celebrate.

I had a Greyhound and Knutson had... what was it with the cherry?

A Rob Roy.

Rob Roy.


You had a few of them, if I'm not mistaken.

[Clears throat]

What about the Hess case?

What about it?

It's still open, yeah?

Yeah, no.

See... we're checking to see if the hooker had a boyfriend.

Jealous type, you know?

Didn't like her getting tooled by every Tom, Dick, and Jane, but otherwise...

Who's working that now?


Well, that's good.


Except Terry doesn't always know which end of a mop to use to wash the floor.

He's not the brightest bulb.

I'll give you that.

But he's soldiering through.

Well, good for him.

Except I'm back now.


Chief, please.

No, Molly, Deputy.

Now, I would give it to you,

I would, except we both know in two days,

I'd be back in this room with you pointing at names on that whiteboard and me chewing my tie.

Just please, Chief, for Pete's sake, I've got evidence that puts Lester Nygaard in a room with a known killer on the day of the Hess murder, and then the next night, Lester called the guy.

He called him at the motel.

Look,... you can't... That's just how it is sometimes.


You know, you go to bed unsatisfied.

They're calling lottery numbers on the TV, and you get the first few, and already in your mind, you're buying a jet or a fjord or whatever, but it's just not meant to be.

It's just not meant to be.

Hey, look.

We're all real glad to have you back, okay?

You're a heck of a police officer.

Tell her about the cake.

The guys are gonna have a cake for you later.

Try to look surprised.


It's really something.

It's got an assault rifle on top made of frosting, which I don't know how they do that.



[Whimsical ukulele music]

[Seagulls calling]

[Waves crashing]

[Keyboard clicking]

Heya, Lester.

I like your tie.

Thank you.

I got it online.

Oh, yeah?



Jacket too.

I was a bit nervous about it at first.

Had to send the jacket back once, actually.

It was too big in the arms.

Well, I think you look terrific.



And, um...

I was thinking of making some chili on Saturday night if you maybe wanted to join me.

Where is he?

You son of a bitch.

I am gonna bust your balls.

You want me to do it, ma?

Yeah, ma, want us to?

Shut up!

I am gonna bust your balls.

Now, Mrs. Hess, what can I do for you?

Don't you

"Mrs. Hess" me.

I was picking your pubes out of my teeth 12 hours ago, and then I get this?

That is...

This is highly irregular.

I'll make some calls.


Mrs. Hess.


You knew the whole time.

No, no.


Gina, this is... This...


I'm gonna make some calls.

Like I said... I was speaking to the guy from mid claims just yesterday.

He didn't mention a single thing...

I let you come inside of me.

Ma, that's really gross.

Yeah, ma, don't talk like that.

Come on, we don't need to bring that into the conversation.

You are gonna get me my money, you little shit.

$2 million.

You've got until the end of the day.

Show him what we'll do.


All right.

All right.

Sorry, loser.


Me too.

[Both grunting]


So are we calm?

Are we calm?

Now, here's what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna make some calls, like I said.

Because this is the first that I've...

But if it's true...

If Sam did miss some payments, then, well, they're within their rights to...

I think we might have a problem here.

That was...

Sorry you had to see that, Linda.

No, I'm...

That was...

You're amazing.

[Keyboard clicking]


He'll be right out.

[Clicking continues]

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

[Footsteps approaching]


[Elevator dings]


[Elevator doors close]

Sir, we...

What Agent Pepper is trying to say, the syndicate spree killing, yes, technically, we were there outside in our car while it was...

But you have to...

You have to see it as a positive, uh, because it leaves us... myself and Agent Budge... it leaves us...


That's the word we like.

Poised to catch this guy.

Because, sir, first of all, we got this photo from an ATM across the street.

It captures our...

A single individual who's clearly armed and about to...

Now, the photo's not great, but I...

We were thinking definitely white male.


Listen, sir.

This is where you work now.

(Budge) We are highly effective, highly trained--

I have a commendation.

A commendation?

That's your...




You know, we're still...

We're still good.

We're still alive.

He could have...

It could be worse, right?

Much, much worse.



This right here... two weeks, tops.

He just wants to see us sweat a little, feel the...

No, I mean, that's...

It's only fair.

I can see that.

I mean, we did...

I mean, 22 people did get killed, and we were sitting in the car like a couple of...

Yeah, we're okay.

We're all right.

[Ball bouncing]

[Indistinct PA announcement]

[Heart monitor beeping]



[Heart monitor beeping]

Never heard of a deaf hit man.

Carolina Murphy had his tongue cut out by an Indian back in the '80s.

He worked a little after that but never quite the same.

And Buzz Mead... you know Buzz?

He was born with just a socket.

Used to take his glass eye out at parties and drop it in his drink.

He was a shit shot, though.

Now, the other fella, your partner, he could hear just fine.

We had a kind of little chat before I cut his throat.

You're unemployed now, by the way, in case you don't read the papers.


I watched a bear once.

His leg was in a steel trap.

It chewed through bloody bone to get free.

It was in Alaska.

Died about an hour later facedown in a stream.

But it was on his own terms, you know?

You got close.

Closer than anybody else.

I don't know if it was you or your partner, but look.

If you still feel raw about things when you heal up, come see me.

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

[Upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Just me and Bill, right?

Slow night.

And the call comes in.

He don't like when I tell this story.

Heard you got some flowers.



Some people do love to flap their lips.

More than once, what I heard.

Well, there's a suitor is all I'm prepared to say.

Vern was so bad at courtship.


One time he gave me a bouquet of poison ivy.

Picked it himself.


He's up in Duluth, my gentleman.

Has a daughter.

What's his name?

They call him Sergio.

He's a pirate, I think.

Very funny, you.


[Clears throat]

Yours is the one with the icing clip.

And, Ida, your frosting comes from the barrel, I think.

Good to have everyone together again, don't you think?

It's like one big, happy, uh...

Which is good, is all.


I wanted to thank you for catching the guy.


Not me.

I was in bed.


You were in the hospital with a bullet.


Bill may have made the arrest, but we both know who did the real work.

He's not convicted yet.

I mean, not all the evidence...

For me, there are still...

But yeah, no, I'm glad it's behind us.

[Melancholy orchestration]

♪ ♪

[Inaudible dialogue]

[Melancholy orchestration]

♪ ♪






[Phone keypad beeping]

[Clears throat]

[Line ringing]

[Phone ringing]

Deputy Solverson.

Yeah, hi.

It's Gus.


Oh, yeah, hi.

So what's happening, then?

You know, on patrol.


Oh, sure, yeah.

I helped a fella who got his privates stuck to a mailbox.



Didn't like his mail?


Something like that.

There's the hearing tomorrow on the shooting.

Oh, yeah.


That's tomorrow.

Well, just tell the truth.

Don't you think?

It was a whiteout, and... you saw a shadow, and you shot at it.

But leave out the part...

Yeah, leave out the part where the person you shot was me.

I am really sorry about that.


Yeah, I gathered from the volume of flowers.

Too much?


No, it's nice.

So, um...

[Clears throat]

I saw in the paper this morning the Logging Festival's coming up

over in your neck of the, you know... and Greta, you know, she really likes going to that.

Yeah, me too.




Well, maybe, um...

I mean... maybe we'll see you there.

Yeah, a certainty if we go together.





You're right about that.

And when you're right, you're right.

On Friday there's chain saw carving and all you can eat.

And on Saturday they roast a pig underground.

I've never had it, but it's supposed to be good.


I didn't know that you could do that.


On Sundays they do a pie eating contest.

(Gus) Yeah, yeah. No, I...

You know, I like to just go for the food.

Greta likes...

[Melancholy orchestration]

♪ ♪


Dad. Come in, dad. Over.

Dad here.

Come back.

What's the deal with dinner? Over.

Yeah, just finishing up.

Thought we'd do tacos tonight.


Okay, don't forget the red sauce.

Over and out.


♪ everything was ready ♪

I'm home!

You forgot the food, didn't ya?

Mom home?


(Molly) That your dad?

He remember the red sauce?

Ah, shoot.

I can go back.

Nah, it's okay. I think we got some left from last time.

Go get changed up, you, and let's eat.

I'm starving.


Why don't you just put 'em on the table?


Thanks, Greta.


Dad wants to know about the game Sunday.

Watch his place or...

I thought we could watch it here.

You know, I could make that pasta thing.


The one with the peas?


You liked it last time.

Oh, don't forget, we got that thing at Ida's on Saturday, the anniversary.

No, I remember.

It was a week before I met you.


Anniversary of what?

Ah, just your, uh...

Molly had a friend of hers that got killed last year, so we'll over there and pay our respects.

It was, um, Vern, right?


He was the chief before Bill.

Hired me.

Ida, the lady with the baby...

Yeah. his wife.

Which, speaking of, she asked if we could bring drinks.

Yeah, I still got some of that Halloween beer I made.

Seem to remember you spitting that on the floor.

Oh, yeah.


I'll go to the store.


You okay?

Oh, sure.

Just hard to sit that long.

Legs go to sleep.

[Door creaks]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Door creaks]

[Dial tone]

[Phone keypad beeping]

[Line ringing]




Deputy Solverson again.

Bemidji Police.


Well, I called a couple times now about the Fargo syndicate massacre, how I might know the fella responsible, meaning he's a suspect in a case we...

Yeah, I see your name in the computer.

Looks like those suspicions were investigated and dismissed.

Yeah, well, they sent a fella down, but I'm not sure he really...

Well, do you have any new information?


No, I just...

You know, a lot of people are dead, so...

I'll put a note in the file you called.

Okay, but...

But I wouldn't expect a callback, though.

We're pretty busy these days, with the Patriot Act and all.

[Dial tone]

The file room.

A room with files.

Say you took one of them out.

Took it where?

Doesn't matter.

Say you took one of the files out.

Is it still the file room?

Pizza today, right?

In the cafeteria? Or is it meat loaf?

No, I'm saying that you and I both agree that the file room minus one file

is still the file room.

Now, say you took another one out and then another.

If the file room minus one file is still a file room, and you keep subtracting one at a time, you could end up with zero files...

I'm saying, logically... or even negative files,

and it would still--

How do you have negative files?

No, I'm just...

Logically, I'm saying.

Except no one's taking files.

They just bring more.

What about a cemetery?

I mean, remove one body from a cemetery, it's still a cemetery.

But a cemetery with no bodies, what's that?


[Gentle orchestration]

♪ ♪


Okay, this is...

Well, these are my officers, so...

Where is everybody?

Coffee run.

Who's this then?

Oh, this is Tahir.



Hello. I am Tahir.

I'm Molly.

Deputy Solverson.

Yeah, so remember, I told you me and Sally were taking in a foster.

Uh, yeah, from Africa.

Yeah, except...

I am from Sudan.

You know, Lost Boy?

I sure do.

Welcome to America.

I thought there was a problem, though.

Oh, I'll say.

Kid disappeared.

Disappeared how?

Oh, tell her the story.



This is the craziest thing.

All right, you go on.

You tell her.

In my village, I tend goats.

You know goats?


One day, men came... and kill everyone.

Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters.


I alone am free.

Three days I walk.

Then I meet nice people...


These nice people put me... airplane to America.

Land of free.

Home of brave.

Yeah, to us.

He's coming to live with us.


Go on.


At the airport,
... man says, "Take a bag?"

He say he's getting a car, but... he doesn't come back.

Guy stole his bag.

Can you believe it?

A refugee.


One day and one night

I wait at the airport,
... but this man, he does not come back.

I have no money and no paper.

Nice woman says, "Tell policema... but I am afraid.

I told her I have a family waiting.

Nice family.

American family.

But the name is in the bag and the number.

Nice woman give me coat and money to take the bus.

So not all bad.

I take the bus to the city.

But I am very hungry.

Four days I no eat.

Then I see a store.

You know...

[Snaps fingers]

July in...


Phoenix Farms.


Yes! Phoenix Farms.

Should I tell her this?


[Clears throat]

So... he shoplifts.

Takes some food.

In fact, he does it every day
... for... how long?

Three months.

Three months.

Meanwhile, we're frantic.

You remember?

All those phone calls?

Me raising my voice?

How could you lose a kid from Africa in freakin' Minnesota?

(Tahir) Every day I steal food, but... I am ashamed. I don't want to steal. I want to work, but what work can I do?

Then a week ago, Sally and I are heading into the city to the ballet.

You went to the ballet?

Sally likes the ballet, yeah.


Go ahead. Finish.

I am looking around the store.

Skittles and peanut butter cups.

Then this man grabs me.

I think I am arrested.

It's me!

Is the point of the story.

All those weeks looking for the kid, writing letters, making phone calls, we even put up flyers.

And then I stop by a supermarket in a city I don't live, all so Sally can have Chex Mix at the ballet, and there's the kid.

Like, what are the odds?

I can't even imagine.

(Tahir) I'm so worried... and thinking I am arrested. But Mr. Bill is hugging me and crying.

Yeah, well, you know...

[Clears throat]

(Tahir) And...
... look where I am at, who I'm with, my American family.

Sally says it's a miracle.

I don't know.

It might be.

But don't question the universe.

That's my motto.

Sometimes things just work out.

Yeah, I like to think that's true.


We found ya, buddy.

We found ya.

(Man on TV) It causes you to have hallucinations.


I'll be glad to explain it to you.

It's a sort of a nightmare where your dreams go pell-mell helter skelter in a month.

Oh, shut up.

[Phone rings on TV]



Inspector Clancy speaking.

You need something?

No, I'm good.

Go back to sleep.

(Man on TV)

Stand back, everybody.

I got you covered.

Stand back.

Chief! Chief!



(Man) Well, what's the meaning of this?

Police parading all over the hotel.

Who sent for you?

Why are you here?

(Man) Well, this is Mr. Williams' suite.

(Woman) Mr. Williams has been murdered.



Quiet, everybody.

You be quiet.

And that goes for all of you.

(Man on TV)

Yeah, the Chief is right.

Noise, bed-li-ham, who can think?

(Man on TV)

Well, you can't, so shut up.

Where's the body?

(Man on TV)

In there.

[Woman on TV screams]

(Man on TV) Now, what did you do that for?

Well, isn't a girl supposed to scream 'gonna see a dead body?

Uh, quiet now.

Come on in here, all of you.

We're doing good.

I'm up.

I'm sorry.

[TV chatter continues]

I was just saying we're doing good, you know?


(Woman on TV)

But it was here, Inspector.

Wasn't it, Johnny?

We got everything we need.


(Man on TV)

That's preposterous.

No one would dare commit a murder in this hotel without first notifying me.

Are you sure you weren't seeing things?

(Woman on TV) No, of course he wasn't seeing things.

Well, I'm going to sleep.

(Woman on TV)

Just as I told you, Inspector.

Remember the old saying, "Where there's gun smoke, there's always a murder."

(Man on TV)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, me too.

(Woman on TV) Oh, it's Jeff, the night porter.

I left him here to watch the body.

[Jeff moaning]

What happened?

What happened?

(Jeff) I was standing around, scared stiff, and all of a sudden, the lights went out.

Then something hit me on the head.

Then the lights went out again.

That's all I know, and that's all I'm gonna wait around to find out.


[Jazz music]

♪ ♪

[Cheers and applause]

(Buck) Stun Meadows, everybody.

Give it up.


How does he do it, huh?

Check your wallets, ladies and gentlemen.

Make sure he didn't make those vanish too.

Well, it's been a big year... for insurance... a banner year.

Reserve trends are up.

And... loss ratios are down a whopping 17%.


And those are just numbers.

We all know that behind every insurance policy and the reinsurance policy covering that policy...

[Laught... there's a salesman.

A man or woman knocking on doors, making calls, matching people and businesses with the right plan for their needs.

And so without further delay, I give you Insurance Salesman of the Year 2007...

Lester Nygaard.

[Cheers and applause]


Come on.

[Cheers and applause]

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.


Oh, jeez.

That's a real honor.


See, I knew I should have memorized this.


Suddenly doesn't...

Speak from the heart.

Speak from the heart.


[Clears throat]

Those of you that know me know it's been a tough year for me personally... and that I wouldn't have gotten through it without the love and support of my beautiful wife, Linda.

Let's give her a hand.


I love you, Linda.

You know, you can go through your whole life without a care, and one day it all changes.

People die.

They lose their homes.

They go to prison.

It's calamity, huh?

I know it, 'cause I lived it.

And if this year has taught me anything... and believe me,

I've seen it all--
... it's that the worst does happen.

And you need to be insured.

Thank you so much.

It's a great honor.


[Melancholy orchestration]

♪ ♪

[Inaudible dialogue]

♪ ♪


So proud of ya, Lester.

Oh, thanks, hon.


You tired?

Oh, aren't you?



No, actually.

I'm feeling pretty keyed up.

You know, I might grab a nightcap at the bar.

You want me to go...

No, no, no. You go up to bed.

I'll be up shortly.

Just, you know, it's my night, you know?

I'm sorry I'm such a downer.

You're a sunny day.

Go on.

I'll be up presently.

[People cheering in the distance]

(Tennishero) ♪ I was yours, and you were mine ♪
♪ ♪

♪ I was yours, and you were mine ♪



Big night, huh?

Salesman of the year.





They really give an award to the guy who sells the most drugs?


Oh, that makes more sense.


So what are you drinking?

Something dangerous.

Let's have a look.

Uh, oh, a blood and sand.

What's that?

Scotch and blood orange.

That's the one.

All right.


[Clears throat]



I sit down and...

Oh, miss, can we have some more sparkling water?


Um, anyways... so I say, "Hi, I'm Dr. Michaelson.

Nice to meet you," and everything.

And I get ready to give him the novocaine shot.

Stick it in my own finger.


And it hurt, but I don't want to look stupid, so I...

[Ominous orchestration]

♪ ♪

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