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SpicyAlejandra
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Blacked Out
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MARIA: Culture Club? Wham? The Backstreet Boys? God, she really is an alien, this one. MICHAEL: A little help here? MARIA: Fine. What are we looking for? MICHAEL: Clues? You know...an address book or a calendar somewhere. MARIA: Of course. Like she's gonna write her hideout in an address book, oh ho! MICHAEL: Hey, are you just gonna rag on me or are you gonna help? MICHAEL: That's the shirt I lost at work. What the hell is this? MARIA: It's Graceland...and you're Elvis. MICHAEL: Wow. MARIA: Wow? Is that all you can say right now, is "wow"? She's obsessed with you. She's, like, an alien stalker. She's been spying on you for weeks. She's been dreaming about you, fantasizing about you... MICHAEL: Hey, shut up for a second. Take a look at the pictures. They were all shot from the apartment across the street from my building. MARIA: So? Oh! That's where she goes to spy on you. MICHAEL: Yep. MICHAEL: Well, I know one way to make the time go faster. MARIA: Oh, funny. MICHAEL: I know. MARIA: But if we can talk reality here for a second, I think she booked. Out of town. MICHAEL: No dice. She wouldn't do that. She's obsessed with me. MARIA: Well, I guess that makes two of you, then, doesn't it? 
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jbangelo
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Hammered
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Great choices, Spicy. I'll be back with some later. 
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SpicyAlejandra
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Blacked Out
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 You'd better be 
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PuReDrEaMeR05
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Intoxicated
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Maria: Where were you?
Michael: Where was I supposed to be?
Maria: We were supposed to have lunch at school today.
Michael: Today's Saturday.
Maria: No, today's Friday. Hello. Where are you?
Michael: I'm right here. Where's Saturday?
Maria: What, are you guys saving the world from alien invasion?
Michael: Would that keep you from kicking my ass?
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majandra06
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Delirious
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Cute quotes!  Love their quotes in 285 South and River Dog. And who could forget the Michael Graduation quote? 
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SpicyAlejandra
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Blacked Out
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Maria: I thought you were leaving. Michael: I am... but I just wanted... I dunno. Maria: --t'say goodbye? Michael: ...I wanted to say that this thing has been screwed up from the beginning. You and me. Us. Just the whole long, stupid story... Maria: ...Thanks... Michael: But I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's meant so much to me, y'know. From day one, from the moment I kidnapped you and stole your car... I knew you were the girl for me. I never wanted anyone else... Maria: Michael... Michael: I still don't. Just... Wherever I'm goin', whatever I'm doin', just know I'll always love you. Maria: Wait. No... wait. You - you can't just say that and then-- [Michael rides off, leaving Maria standing in the street, stunned and lost.] Aww! I wanna cry now... 
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CandyLea
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Tipsy
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Awww I love that quote! Can I cry with you? 
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jbangelo
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Hammered
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Can't forget the classic M&M episdode, 285 South. Maria: "You do not watch the View."
Michael: "It keeps me in touch with my feminine side."
Michael: "I don't suppose we could share?"
Maria: "Not if you were the last alien on earth."
Maria: "I told you you can't go over 80, the engine won't take it.
Michael: "Maybe it's just tired of hearing you talk."
Maria: "Do something. Go."
Michael: "Don't tempt me."
Maria: "Come on. Wiggle your nose, blink your eyes. Do your Samantha/Jeannie/alien thing."
Michael: "I can't."
Maria: "Why not? If there was ever a time to have a secret power, this is it."
Maria: "You kidnap me and blow up my car and you expect me to spend the night with you in here?"
Michael: "Not exactly my fantasy evening either."
Michael: "You know, if you would stop being such a princess about thingsĀ
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Maria: "Princess? No, no I think I've been a pretty good sport about things until now. But I am cold, and I'm hungry and I'm stuck in some nookie motel with a guy I barely even know."
Maria: "So do you get hungry just like the rest of us?"
Michael: "Of course I get hungry."
Maria: "What other human urges do you feel?"
Michael: "Not if you were the last woman on earth."
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PuReDrEaMeR05
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Intoxicated
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(Michael is helping himself to some cake)
MARIA: I hope you intend to pay for that.
MICHAEL: I do not.
MARIA: Well, then that's theft, buddy.
MICHAEL: Arrest me.
MARIA: Did you pull on the chokey thing?
MICHAEL: Yes, I did pull on the chokey thing.
MICHAEL: Your car sucks!
MARIA: And so do you.
MICHAEL: Now that I'm humiliated, and the battery's fried, I'm gonna take the back seat.
MARIA: Wait a minute. Ok. You kidnap me, and you blow up my car, and you expect me to spend the night in here with you?
MICHAEL: Not exactly my fantasy evening either.
MARIA: Don't touch that. It is sensitive!
MICHAEL: Can you shut up?
(A green alien inflates in one of the boxes)
MICHAEL: Well, that's nice.
My fav. HAHA
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SpicyAlejandra
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Blacked Out
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"... the engine won't take it." "Maybe it's just tired of hearing you talk." 
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SpicyAlejandra
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Blacked Out
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Michael - "I've been thinking."
Maria - "Oh, great. This usually involves me having to get my car towed." Maria - "What is that, like porn or something?"
(Checks herself out on video screen)
Maria - "Ooh, I'm not as flat as I thought I was."
Michael - "It's a wide-angle lens." MICHAEL: (to Maria) Wanna fetch me a Snapple?
MARIA: What?
MICHAEL: I'm dry as a bone here. Been talking all day. Come on, snowflake.
MARIA: Michael, there's no way that I'm gonna-
MICHAEL: Michael? I'm not Michael. I'm Santa. Paul, don't you think that snowflake should fetch Santa a Snapple?
KIDS: Of course you should. You're an elf.
MICHAEL: Exactly. And I'll need a foot rub later, too.
MARIA: Uh, you know what, Santa? I think I have a Snapple in my little elf house.
[Maria drags Michael into the elf house]
MARIA: 'Fetch me a Snapple'?
MICHAEL: You're supposed to be Santa's helper.
MARIA: Oh, that's a load of crap. You're doing this
deliberately.
MICHAEL: Doing what?
MARIA: Trying to get back at me because I broke up with you.
MICHAEL: Hey, snowflake, you're an elf. It's your job. Get over yourself.
MARIA: Stop taunting me.
MICHAEL: I'm not taunting you. Look, the reason that I did this to begin with was to get away from you. You think I wanna be here? Isabel roped me into this.
MARIA: Then we'll keep to ourselves, and we'll be fine.
MICHAEL: Fine.
MARIA: Perfect.
MICHAEL: I miss you.
MARIA: I miss you, too.
[Michael kisses Maria- they fall down on the floor kissing, and a kid walks up to the door and sees them]
KIDS: It's Santa! Santa and snowflake are kissing.
MICHAEL: We gotta hide.
KIDS: Gross. Mommy, Santa and snowflake are doing it. They're doing it.
MARIA: Get off.
MICHAEL: I can't, my belt's stuck. I can't move.
KIDS: Aah!
[Isabel comes in and finds them sprawled on the floor]
ISABEL: You two should go home and have a long talk with yourselves. And you--you begged me to be Santa.
MARIA: You what?
ISABEL: You're fired. Both of you.
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PuReDrEaMeR05
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Intoxicated
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Oh, I love that last one. The look on everyone's face even the kids was priceless
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jbangelo
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Hammered
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Michael: So here's the thing. I'm not gonna tell Max, but I need to know. Because if wherever you're going turns out to be dangerous, I'm, sure as hell, gonna be there to protect you.
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CandyLea
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Tipsy
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awww I'd forgot about that one!
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buggybabe
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Sober
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wowiezz! i luv them all so far! but i have to agree i forgot about that one! i cant think of any rite now that arent listed but ill add em once i think of em
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JADESTONEDREAMS
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Delirious
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[Maria is outside her house when she sees Michael sitting out by the curb on his motorcycle. She walks over to him.]
Maria: I thought you were leaving.
Michael: I am... but I just wanted... I dunno.
Maria: --t'say goodbye?
Michael: (struggles to form words, then speaks.) ...I wanted to say that this thing has been screwed up from the beginning. You and me. Us. Just the whole long, stupid story...
Maria: ...Thanks...
Michael: But I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's meant so much to me, y'know. From day one, from the moment I kidnapped you and stole your car... I knew you were the girl for me. I never wanted anyone else...
Maria: Michael... (takes a step towards him, sad, but touched.)
Michael: I still don't. Just... Wherever I'm goin', whatever I'm doin', just know I'll always love you.
[Abruptly, Michael puts on his helmet and starts his bike.]
Maria: Wait. No... wait. You - you can't just say that and then---
[Michael rides off, leaving Maria standing in the street, stunned and lost.]
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SpicyAlejandra
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Blacked Out
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MICHAEL: Interesting.
MARIA: What?
MICHAEL: This whole idea that I have to apologize to you. What's that really about?
MARIA: What is it about?
MICHAEL: I'll tell you what it's about. It's a tactic.
MARIA: Oh, it's a tactic.
MICHAEL: That's right. It's your way of making me think that I owe you something, that I'm indebted to you. Let me tell you something. I'm not indebted to anyone.
MARIA: Interesting. You know, you should get yourself massive doses of therapy, like immediately.
(Michael grabs Maria's woodshop project)
MARIA: What are you doing?
MICHAEL: I'm gonna fix this stupid thing and call it even, all right? So what color do you want, huh? Green? White? Blue, maybe?
MARIA: Give it.
MICHAEL: No way.
MARIA: Give it to me. Give it to me.
(Maria and Michael try to gain possession of the "napkin holder" and wind up pulling it apart)
MARIA: No...great.
MICHAEL: What is your problem?
MARIA: It's cheating. You can't just wave your hand over a problem and make it go away. Why don't you figure out what's really going on with you, Michael...why you can't just piece together an apology like any normal human being. Oops. Maybe that's the problem.
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