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1x13 - "The Best Chrismukkah Ever" https://foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=6417 |
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Author: | bunniefuu [ 12/07/03 15:23 ] |
Post subject: | 1x13 - "The Best Chrismukkah Ever" |
Scene opens to Seth staring at Ryan intently, holding up a candy cane and a menorah. Seth: So, what's it going to be, huh? You want your menorah or a candy cane, hmm? Christmas or Hanukkah? Ryan: Um… I'm not- Seth: Ah! Don't worry about it buddy, because in this house, you don't have to choose. Allow me to introduce to you a little something that I like to call… Chrismukkah. Ryan: Chrismukkah? Seth: That's right. It's the new holiday, Ryan, and it's sweeping the nation. Sandy and Kirsten walk in, carrying a Christmas tree. Sandy: Hey fellows. We go the tree. Seth: Or atleast the living room. Sandy: Guys, a little help? Ryan walks over to help Sandy. Seth: I saved a spot for you right there. Put your muscle into it. Excellent. To the right a little. To the right, don't hurt it. Those needles are brittle. That's perfect. (Starts clapping) You guys… you guys… "A+". "A+". I love the holidays. I love them all. Kirsten: We didn't really know how to raise Seth. Seth: Yeah, so I raised myself, and in doing so, I created the greatest super holiday known to mankind, drawing on the best that Christianity and Judaism have to offer. Ryan: And you call it Chrismukkah. Seth: (He gasps) Just hearing you say it makes me feel all festive. Allow me to elaborate. He walks over to Sandy. Seth: You see, for my father here, a poor struggling Jew growing up in the Bronx, well, Christmas meant Chinese food and a movie. He now walks over to Kirsten. Seth: And for my mom over here – WASPy McWASP – well, it meant a tree, it meant stockings and all the trimmings. Isn't that right? Sandy: We're very proud. Kirsten: I'm not a WASP. Seth: Sure, you're not. Other highlights include eight days of presents followed by one day of many presents. So, what do you think? Ryan: Uh, sounds great for you guys. Sandy: For you, too. Seth: Hey, dip a toe in the Chrismukkah pool. There's room for all of us. Kirsten: Isn't there something in the Atwood family tradition that you would like to incorporate into Seth's uber holiday? Ryan: Atwood and holidays is not a good combination. Sandy: What did you guys do? Ryan: No, seriously, thanks, but uh… Seth: Come on, man. There's got to be something. Ryan: My holiday memories pretty much consist of my mom drunk and me getting my ass kicked. Seth and Kirsten fall silent. Sandy: Well, this year will be entirely different. Kirsten: New memories. It'll be great. Ryan: Yeah. Well, whatever you want me to do, I'll do. Seth: That's the spirit. Come here. Seth holds his arms open for a hug as Ryan walks right past him. Seth: Oy, humbug. Kirsten: It's a big holiday for anyone. Sandy: Yeah, I'm still wrapping my head around it. Just give him some time. Kirsten: Why don't we trim the tree? Seth: You know what, you guys? Soon, Ryan will learn the magic of Chrismukkah. Worry not. I will convert him. Seth closes his eyes and rings a little bell. Opening credits. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Open to Seth sitting on a bed in the pool house, surrounded by wrapping paper and other things. Ryan walks in. Ryan: I was in the shower for five minutes. How did this place turn into Santa's workshop? Seth: I see someone took down the wreath I hung on the door. Ryan: It fell. What are you wrapping? Seth: Two Seth Cohen starter packs. We got Death cab, we got Bright Eyes, we got The Shins, we got Cavelier and Klay, and we got Goonies. It's not just for kids, Ryan. It's not. I don't care what they tell you. Summer and Anna are going to love them both equally. Ryan: You're getting Summer and Anna the same thing? Seth: Yes, I am. Sometimes I'm so crafty, I surprise myself. Ryan: No good can come of this. You know that, right? Seth: Uh, nope, I don't. Ryan: You're going to have to choose, man. Seth: Hey, not on Chrismukkah I don't, okay? There's no choosing in Chrismukkah. Ryan: Well, you didn't get me anything, right? Seth: No. Seth turns away from Ryan and starts whistling tunelessly. Ryan gives him a look. Seth: Come on, man. Lighten up. Ryan continues to look at him. Seth: Okay, fine. Stay dark. Dark works, too. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Kirsten is writing on a notepad in the kitchen as Ryan and Seth walk in, the latter of the two whistling. Kirsten: Oh, Ryan, what is your show size? Ryan: Why? Kirsten: No reason. Seth: Mother, might that be a Chrismukkah list? Kirsten: No. Why do you ask? Seth: Okay. Let me just see it then, real fast. Kirsten: It's work. Seth: Okay, I love your work. It fascinates me. Ryan: I thought you guys said no gifts. Kirsten: Well, we did, as in no gifts for us. Sandy walks in, having just finished talking on his cell phone. Sandy: Well, Chrismukkah's ruined. Seth: Ah! Don't even say it, man. Come on. Chrismukkah is unruinable. It's got twice the resistance of any normal holiday. Sandy: Your father just refused out latest settlement offer. He wants to go to trial. Kirsten: That's not what he said yesterday. He said that if you met his offer… Sandy: Yeah, well as of this morning, Ebenezer Scrooge decides he wants to go to court, which means I'm going to have to spend the holidays going through file boxes and preparing for trail. With Rachel out of town… Kirsten: Chrismukkah is ruined. Sooner or later, we will get through a holiday around here. Seth: Stop it, right now, okay? Don't give up on the miracle that is Chrismukkah. What is happening to you…? You'll see. You'll see, too. You'll all see. You'll all see. He sips at his drink. Ryan: You're really starting to scare me. Seth: I'm okay with that. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Jimmy comes bounding down the stairs to where Marissa is in the living room. Jimmy: Okey dokey, here we go. Which tie? What are you thinking? This one? All right? Or… He holds each tie up to him. Marissa: Uh, the second one, definitely. Jimmy: All right. He starts to put on the tie. Marissa: So, you have a job interview today? Jimmy: Well, it's just a meet-and-greet. Who knows what will come of it, but we've got to dress for success, right? Look, I'm working on it, kiddo. I'll find a job. I know there's a lot of extra pressure around the holidays. Marissa: There doesn't have to be any extra pressure because there doesn't have to be any holidays. Really. Jimmy: What are you talking about? Marissa: We can skip Christmas. I mean, it's not like it's not going to happen again next year, and holidays just make people depressed. Jimmy: Are you? Depressed? I mean you were supposed to go to therapy after Mexico, and you never really… Marissa: I'm great. I'm just saying. Jimmy: Ok, good, because we're not skipping Christmas. Come on. I'm going to find a job, we're going to figure out a way to make this whole thing work, and we're going to have lots to celebrate about, okay? Come on, skipping Christmas. You sure about this tie? Marissa: Yeah, definitely. You look great. He walks upstairs. Jimmy: Skipping Christmas – what are you, the Grinch? *~*~*~*~*~*~* Ryan and Seth are walking through the halls of school together. Ryan: So, Summer and Anna are both coming to this party. Seth: Yeah, but neither one's my date. Ryan: And they know? Seth: Oh yeah. They both know that. Come on, man, relax. Look, it's a big party, okay? You might be all doom and gloom, but me, check it out: I'm snowflakes. I'm latkes. Chrismukkah is coming. Ryan: And when Chrismukkah ends? Seth: (He gasps) I hate when Chrismukkah ends. Summer: Cohen. Hi, Ryan. Um, I wanted to know what the deal was for tonight – if you were driving… Anna: Hey, Seth. So, what time are you thinking for tonight? (She sees Summer.) Oh. Hey, Summer. Summer: Hey, Anna. Seth: You guys. I was thinking we should all probably meet there. How about that? At whatever time you so choose to get there, by whatever means. Summer: Sounds great. Anna: Yeah, perfect. Both girls walk away. Ryan: You better pray for a Chrismukkah miracle. Ryan walks away. Seth: I've got Jesus and Moses on my side, man. *~*~*~*~*~*~* We look down from the top of a white Christmas tree to see Julie standing by. Caleb's house. Julie is giving the guys orders on how the tree should look when Kirsten walks up to stand beside her. Julie: Hey, Kirsten. What do you think? Kirsten: It's really something. Julie: You don't like it? Kirsten: It's not that. It's just that… my mom used to put the Christmas tree in the foyer. It's just a tradition that we have. Julie: Yeah, Caleb told me. But then I thought you know what? The holidays are hard enough. Your father doesn't need to be reminded of the past. Caleb needs to enjoy this Christmas. Oh, and did Caleb tell you we need to borrow your office? We're doing the Santa thing for the kids, and we need a holding area for the elves. What are you doing here? Your father said you were working from home. Kirsten: He did? He's just full of surprises. She walks away. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Caleb and Kirsten walk into a room. Caleb: I changed my mind. If the land trust can come up with $200 million, then surely they can come up with $300 million. Kirsten: I just… I thought this was over. Caleb: You can always get a little more blood out of the stone. Kirsten: But the stone is my husband. Caleb: Well, I was thinking we could spend the holidays working. Kirsten: That sounds good. You have fun. Caleb: What are you talking about? Kirsten: I'm going to do something that I haven't done in… ever. I'm taking Christmas vacation. Caleb: Don't be ridiculous, Kiki. You hate sitting around the house. Kirsten: Well, not as much as I hate fighting with you. So you spend the next two weeks buried in legal documents. I'm going to be wrapping gifts. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Marissa and Ryan walk through a hall at school, up to Marissa's locker. Marissa: I hate Christmas. Ryan: Yeah, well Christmukkah's not much better. You don't want to know. Yeah, but holidays make what's bad even worse. Marissa: I just wish my dad would drop the act. I don't need it. And I don't need Christmas. Ryan: Who do you have to spend it with? Marissa: Christmas Eve with my dad, Christmas day with my mom. Plus, she's making me go to this stupid Newport Group holiday party tonight. Ryan: The Cohen's are going too, so… Marissa: So, at least we'll be miserable together. Ryan: Deal? Marissa: Deal. So, am I seeing you after school? Ryan: I got some stuff to do… some shopping. South Coast Plaza. Marissa: You're going to South Coast Plaza? Alone? I don't think you're ready for that. No, I think you need a seasoned expert to protect you. Ryan: Well, you know someone? *~*~*~*~*~*~* Marissa and Ryan travel up the escalator and they make their way around the mall, going into various shops. Marissa tries on lipstick and shoes, while Ryan looks at a watch at the glass counter. Ryan: So no luck, huh? Marissa: There's a 99-cent store down the street. I guess I can't really afford this place anymore. Ryan: Then why did we come? Marissa: I know it sounds stupid, but I like it here. Everything is so perfect. You walk around feeling like all your problems can be solved by the right nail polish or a new pair of shoes. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Marissa and Ryan walk through the parking garage to Marissa's car. When she gets to the driver's side, a security guard grabs her arm. Guard: Miss. I'm going to have to ask to see your purse. Ryan: What are you doing? Guard: I can't let you leave the premises. If you don't hand over your purse right now, you'll give me no choice but to call the police. Ryan: Why don't you just back off, all right? Marissa: Ryan, it's okay. Ryan: No, it's not. Guard: Your purse. Now. She slowly hands her purse to him. He empties it out on the hood of her car, and a cell phone, watch, earrings, and a few other things fall out. Ryan looks to Marissa, who nervously looks back at him. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Two presents sit on the table in front of Kirsten, who is looking over some papers from work. Seth: Hey, what are you doing? Working from home? Kirsten: I'm on vacation. Seth: Ah, yes, clearly. Kirsten: I find reviewing end-of-the-year accounts to be very relaxing. Seth: I hope that's a recessive gene. Kirsten: You should be so lucky. Look, I haven't taken a vacation in a while, and I'm… easing into it. Seth: Oh, yeah. I don't judge, okay? I only mock. Kirsten: That you get from your father. Seth: Oh, my God. They're coming in? He checks his eyebrows. Seth: Oh, that's… I got you. (He sees the presents) What are those? Kirsten: They came for Ryan from his mom and his brother. Seth: You know what he said about the holidays? When he talks like that, I have… I have no idea what to say. Kirsten: Me, neither. You just have to be yourself. Seth: Yeah, ‘cause that always works so well. Kirsten: Well, being a family is hard under any circumstance. Creating a new one —that's got to feel weird sometimes. Seth: Well, feeling weird is right in my… Kirsten studies something on a sheet of paper. Seth: What? What is it? Is Grandpa going crazy with the company credit card again? What is it this time? Hookers? A little blow, perhaps? Grandpa likes to dance with you, white lady. Kirsten: (Smiling) What are you talking about? Seth: I don't know. What is it? Kirsten: Hopefully, it's nothing. You should go get ready, ‘cause we have to be there soon. Seth: I'll go put on my face. He walks away. Kirsten takes out her phone and dials a number. Kirsten: Hi. This is Kirsten Cohen from the Newport Group. My father ordered a survey of the Balboa Heights, and I've lost my copy, and I really need to see the document, so I'm wondering if it's possible for you to fax it over to me. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Jimmy and Marissa are sitting in their living room, talking. Julie walks through the front door, angry. Julie: I cannot believe this. Marissa. Jimmy: Julie. Julie: Look, I have to host the most important event of my professional career tonight. Jimmy: Well, atleast your priorities are in order. Julie: You know, it's amazing how all these calamities keep happening under your watch, Jimmy. Jimmy: Oh, so I'm to blame for this one, too? Julie: Where do you think she learned to steal? Marissa: Okay, stop it. I'm the one who stole, remember? I'm the one to blame, not Dad. Jimmy: Look, we're lucky the store is not pressing charges. Okay? Now, Marissa and I were just trying to decide what an appropriate punishment… Julie: Oh, really? Well, way to rule with the iron fist, Stalin, but it's not up to her. No car, no allowance, no weekends. Marissa: So I can stay home tonight? Julie: Starting tomorrow. I won't have my party ruined by your little sticky fingers. Look, sweetie, I know that this time of year makes everything bad seem worse, but why did you do this? Marissa: I thought it would be… Look, I wasn't… it was stupid. Julie: Well, I called the therapist on the way over here. Marissa: Mom. Jimmy: She's right, kiddo. Therapy was part of the deal of you moving in here. Marissa: Okay, look, I've been doing way better since Mexico. 4.0 first quarter, Charity League, Social Chair… Julie: I've scheduled you an appointment tomorrow morning with Dr. Milano. He's supposed to be great. Marissa: I'm sorry, but I can handle it. This. I… I won't do it again, I promise. Julie: Honey, I love you. But I don't believe you. Jimmy: You might actually find it helpful. Marissa: Yeah. Whatever. I need to get ready. She walks toward the stairs. Marissa: And Mom, you have your big party to throw. I'm sure you don't want to keep Caleb waiting. She goes upstairs. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Seth knocks on the door of the pool house, where Ryan is just finishing getting dressed. Seth: Hey. What's up, man? You're back. So, that's pretty cool, right? Your mom and brother got you something. Ryan: Yeah, except now I have a total of eight gifts to buy, and I only saved enough for one. Seth: Ryan, that sort of reminds me of the story of Hanukkah, dude. Check it out. The lamp. You know what? I think you get the gist. How was the mall? Ryan: Weird. Seth: Yes. You've really painted a picture for me. I feel like I was there. Ryan: Marissa picked up a few things without paying for them. Seth: What, as in… Ryan: Shoplifting. Seth's mouth opens in shock. Ryan: Yeah. Seth: Yeah, that's weird. Ryan: It's that time of year, and with everything that's going on with her family… Seth: Yeah, no, no. I'm sure it's got to be hard for her. Ryan: Yeah. I just wish there was something I could do or say. Seth: Um… Oh, I got you something. Ryan: No, no, no. We had an agreement. Seth: Yeah, but this is different. This is a requirement. Seth pulls out a red stocking with Ryan's name on it in white letters. Seth: I know, it's a bit minty, but uh… you know, we all have one, so we just thought... Ryan: No. That's cool. Seth: Well, good. Maybe it'll meet a kinder fate than your wreath did, but if not, we still wanted you to have it. Ryan: (Smiling slightly) Thanks. Seth: All right. I'm going to go make magic happen. I feel like my hair is working for me tonight. Seth leaves the room as Ryan continues to stare at his stocking. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Kirsten is sitting at a desk in her bedroom, with a sheet of paper and a flute of champagne before her. She's already dressed for the party as Sandy comes jogging in. Sandy: I'm late. I know, I know. I'll hurry. He kisses her on the forehead and proceeds to get dressed for the party himself. Sandy: So, you're not going to believe this, but your father and I reached a settlement today. He gouged me a little. Well, you know, he gouged me a lot. Kirsten: He asked you for more money? Sandy: Oh, just $250 million. But we closed the deal, and he claims that he did it because of you. Kirsten: Is that what he told you? Sandy: And it seems your little vacation today really hit him hard. Because he says he wants to spend the holidays as a family. You know, maybe… maybe he's changing. Or maybe he is a truly fantastic liar. What's wrong? Kirsten: I found something today. And I don't know if I can give it to you, but I don't know if I can't. Sandy: Okay, well… Kirsten: He's going to know that I gave this to you. And he's going to have every right to fire me. She pushes the paper closer to him and he takes it and reads it. Sandy: You have got to be kidding me. This changes everything. Kirsten: And I'm going to have to learn how to relax, because I'm going to have a lot of free time. Sandy: I'm sorry, honey. Kirsten: Not as sorry as he's going to be. Sandy: You still want to go to the party? Kirsten: I wouldn't miss it for the world. She leaves as he sits down and stares at the paper. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Seth comes down the stairs as the doorbell rings. He answers it. Seth: Anna. Hey. Anna: Mistletoe. She holds up a piece of mistletoe and kisses him on the cheek. Seth: Oh. Oh, that's very festive of you. Uh, I thought we were meeting there. I'm going with my parents. Anna: Well, I was thinking maybe we could go together. Seth: I would love to do that. You know I would. But don't you think that would violate our little Geneva Convention of dating we have going on? ‘Cause I told Summer that, you know, I'd meet both of you there. Anna: Well, how is Summer ever going to know? The doorbell rings again and Seth answers it. Summer: Mistletoe. What is she doing here? Anna: What are you doing here? Summer: I thought we had a deal, Cohen. Anna: Which you clearly violated. Summer: As did you. Seth: She's got a point. Anna: You're on her side? Seth: No. There are no sides, you guys. There's only um… rides with my parents. We'll all go together. Hmm? Anna: Fine. Summer: Fine. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Seth, Summer, and Anna all sit on the couch, Seth stuck in the middle, all three clearly uncomfortable. Anna: So, I have a gift for you. I'll give it to you later. Summer: I have a present for you, too, also. I'll give it to you later. Seth: (To Summer) I can't wait. (To Anna) For either. (To Summer) For both. Sandy: Seth, you ready? Come on. Let's go. Sandy and Kirsten walk in to see the three on the couch. Kirsten: Hi, Summer. Anna. Sandy: Ladies. (To Kirsten) Oh, this is going to be some party. Kirsten: Mm-hmm. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Ryan is standing behind Marissa, helping her with her necklace. Ryan: You know, maybe this is not such a bad idea. Marissa: What does that mean? Ryan: It'll be good to have someone to talk to. Marissa: You're someone. I can't talk to you? Ryan: You can talk to me. It's just… Marissa: What? I need the help of a trained professional because I stole a lipstick? Ryan: It's not about the lipstick. Marissa: Well, I guess I don't really see what it's about. Ryan: I guess you do what you want. Marissa: I will. If no one's making my parents go to therapy, then no one's making me. You know, I'm the only normal one in this family. Sorry. Hey, you know, I think I left my wrap upstairs. Could you grab it for me? I just need to grab my purse. Ryan: Sure. He leaves to get her wrap. She goes into a cabinet and takes a bottle of alcohol out, stuffing it into her purse. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Sandy, Kirsten, Seth, Anna, and Summer make their way into the party. Sandy and Kirsten leave to go talk to someone they know as a server walks up. Server: Mushroom-leek crescent? Crab and brie phyllo? Seth: Come on, buddy. Change it up a little bit. Server: Enjoy the party. The server walks away. Anna: Come on, Seth. I'm going this way. Seth: Oh. Summer: Oh, well, I'm going this way. She points in the opposite direction as Anna. Seth: Oh, you guys are? I'm going to go look for Ryan. Seth walks forward and away from the girls. Summer and Anna scoff at each other and walk away. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Julie: Kirsten. Sandy. Welcome. Caleb: Hey, Kiki. Kirsten: Hey. Caleb: Good to see you. Did Simon give you our good news? Kirsten: He did. Sandy: I actually need to follow up on a few things with you, Cal. If you don't mind… Caleb: Come, Sanford. It's a party. Think back on your Berkley days. Maybe you can smoke the tree. Caleb walks away. Sandy: (He chuckles) Smoke the tree. Funny. I'm going to nail him now. Kirsten: Uh-huh. Sandy walks off toward Caleb. Julie: So, what do you think? Kirsten: About? Julie: The party. You haven't said anything. Do you like it? I mean, I know how you feel about the tree, but if you can get past that… Kirsten: It's great. Julie: And what did Caleb think? I mean, has he said anything to you? Kirsten: I haven't had a chance to talk to him. Julie: I just want this to be a party that he'll never forget. Kirsten: I think you have a shot. Kirsten walks away. CUT TO: Marissa standing by herself, Ryan walks over and joins her Ryan: you ok? Marissa: yeah, why? Ryan: I don't know today's ben kinda intense an I know you don't really wanna be here Marissa: I wanna be where you are, (smiles) an your here so (kisses him) Julie: (walks over) ah Marissa, oh you wore the chenille how pretty, Ryan (to Marissa) you haven't said hello to Caleb yet Marissa: yeah that's because he was talking to other people mom and I didn't wanna interrupt him Julie: well he's ready now so Marissa: I'm not! Julie: Marissa Marissa: mom! Julie: you are a guest at this party Marissa: only because you made me come here Julie: you are in enough trouble already young lady Marissa: well then I guess I've got nothin'a lose Julie: so this is the way its gonna be with us from now on Marissa: I don't know, I'll ask my shrink!... you know what I'm gonna go to the bathroom (walks away) Julie: I hate the holidays Ryan: right there with ya (they both drink their drinks) CUT TO: Caleb standing by himself, Sandy goes over to him Sandy: Caleb, you got time to talk? Caleb: nope Sandy: ah come on, make some (pulls out the paper from earlier and gives it to him) Caleb: what is this (reads) Sandy: it's a geological survey of the heights which you commissioned and you somehow mysteriously failed to turn over to my office Caleb: I haven't got time for this Sandy: oh I think you do, allow me to summarise what you know already. the heights are size- malogically unsound, the whole area is uninsurable it's worthless Caleb: as is your theory Sandy: there's no way you would have gotten the building permit...and you knew that Caleb: what'd you want Sandy Sandy: I wanna buy back the heights...for a dollar Caleb: (laughs) you cannot be serious Sandy: (puts the dollar in Caleb's hand) Merry Christmas (walks away) CUT TO: Seth & Anna sitting by some water Anna: huh, so... are you ready for your present? Seth: yeah alright I'm ready, hand me the keys ill figure out how to drive a stick eventually Anna: very funny Seth, always have to ruin the mood Seth: it's what I do Anna: ready Seth: mmhmm (Anna hands him a comic, Seth takes it and you see that it is a handmade comic that says ' the ADVENTURES of SETH COHEN and Capt. Oats!' and there is a drawing of Captains Oats, and Seth - Seth has his mouth open, and Anna is nervously waiting to hear wether he likes it) Seth: the adventures of Seth Cohen & Captain Oats (makes fist) volume 1 confidence (smiles) you made this Anna: no I bought it on eBay Seth: I can't believe you did this, this is amazing (Anna smiles) (reads) hey this Seth in the story seems really handsome and awesome Anna: I guess I took some liberties Seth: you dumbed him down a little bit (they both laugh, and then notice Summer standing on the other side of the way by herself, Anna's smile goes) Seth: this is fantastic Anna: (smiles) thanks (Seth has a huge smile on his face still reading his present) CUT TO: Kirsten & Jimmy dancing together Jimmy: so hows Seth doin Kirsten: he's fine I think, i think it's hard to tell with him sometimes, why? Jimmy: well does he ever do things that sort of... make you question yourself as a-as a parent Kirsten: well there was the model home and Tijuana and a thing with the range rover and an IMAX movie that I didn't quite buy Jimmy: but there kids I mean they-they do...stuff they get in trouble right Kirsten: well our parents would've had a heart attack if they knew half the things that we did (laughs) Jimmy: ah come on we were good kids...we were, weren't we? Kirsten: we were good kids Jimmy: yeah Kirsten: an we have good kids CUT TO: Marissa locking herself in the bathroom. she puts her glass down, goes through her bag and pulls out a bottle of alcohol. she pours some of it into her drink, moves her fringe out of her eyes, then takes 2 big gulps while frowning, puts her fist up to her mouth after swallowing then smiles. she moves her fringe again, looks in the mirror and smiles then takes another gulp CUT TO: Seth & Summer in a room alone. It's dark Seth: ok Summer but hang on for a second, what are we doing here because Anna just went to get drinks so she's gonna be back in like one second Summer: shh-shh c'mere Seth: wha Summer: jus c'mere (pushes him onto a couch) Seth: ok Summer: stay there (walks away and laughs a little. she turns the light on and turns to face him) I hear you like comic books Cohen Seth: (smiling & nodding) this is true (Summer unzips her black dress) Summer: Merry Christmas (You see Seth with his mouth wide open, then the camera pans to show that Summer is dressed as wonder woman, complete with gold lasso) Seth: (mouth open) good-lord I think I'm gonna pass out Summer: (throwing the rope over his head) your not going... anywhere (pulls him to her) Seth: ok (they kiss for a second) Summer: (feels the comic and pulls it out) what's this? Seth: uh-uh that's uh-uh that's Anna's present, she made it for me Summer: she made it Seth: (nods) yeah Summer: (looking) its amazing Seth: yeah I know but hey, your presents amazing to ok, it's really amazing (Anna comes in) Anna: hey there you (mouth open) are Seth: hey Anna Summer was just giving me her gift, its cool Anna: (to Summer) your wonder woman Summer: (embarrassed) yeah, so Anna: I mean you look...amazing...is that my story? (Summer gives it back to Seth) Anna: oh my god... I made you a comic book what am I eight Summer: (getting dressed) way to go wonder whore Seth: hey wonder woman's not a whore ok, stop Summer: (to Anna) what're we doing? Anna: I don't know this is ridiculous Seth: hold up you guys one second please ok lets not-lets not-lets not have one speed bump derail the whole train ok lets not throw the baby out with the bath water lets not...let's make some more metaphors Summer: look I'm not into talking about like feelings or whatever... (sincerely) but I like you, ok an so does she, if we don't put an end to this soon Anna: someone's gonna get hurt Summer: you gotta choose Cohen (Anna & Summer both leave the room, and turn the light out leaving Seth alone in the dark) CUT TO: Ryan by himself, Marissa grabs his head and kisses him Marissa: (tipsy) did you miss me? c'mon lets dance (grabs him by his tie) Ryan: no you know how I feel about dancing Marissa: (laughing) you know how I don't care, c'mon it's a party Ryan: yeah an office party Marissa: I thought you wanted to have fun, don't make me make you have fun (kisses him) Ryan: uh I'm guessin that's not eggnog Marissa: so what, c'mon if you don't wanna dance we could just get outta here Ryan: uhh I didn't see you with a cocktail Marissa: well...maybe I brought my own (shakes the bottle) want some Ryan: what's goin on with you today? Marissa: huh what's the big deal, you drink Ryan: not alone in the bathroom Marissa: I'm just having fun Ryan: right, the first night I met you, you were having fun passed out in your drive way, a couple weeks later it was an alley in Mexico, its like- just like my mom all over again Marissa: ugh shut up Ryan: we're gettin outta here Marissa: no I am (turns back) enjoy the party Ryan: hey (grabs her arm) you can't drive Marissa: get your hands offa me, I have enough people in my life telling me what to do...see ya (walks away) CUT TO: Marissa getting in her car, Ryan is running after her Ryan: (trying to get in the passenger side that's locked) hey come on let me drive Marissa: get away from me! (starts to move the car) Ryan: hey, hey (stands in front) Marissa: (brakes) I'm fine (Ryan wont move so Marissa puts it in reverse and backs into a car. she puts her head on the steering wheel, upset. Ryan walks over to her door) CUT TO: Caleb & Sandy making an announcement to a huge crowd Caleb: and so effective immediately I'm transferring the title of the heights to the Balboa land trust for the very reasonable price of one dollar (clapping) and I couldn't have done it without the help of my son-in-law Sandy Cohen Sandy: oh thanks Cal but I can't take credit for this you did this all on your own. to Caleb Nichol the most generous man in Newport Beach (toasts) Caleb: thanks...happy Chanukah Sandy (walks away, Sandy follows) CUT TO: Ryan and Marissa in the car. they both aren't speaking. Marissa pulls the bottle out of her bag Ryan: (looks over and sees) (sighs) great Marissa: what you're driving now Ryan: yeah because you're drunk Marissa: I'm not (Ryan looks at her angry) fine (Marissa tries to put the lid on and it drops on the floor) Marissa: shoot (looking) mm where is it Ryan: come on put it away Marissa: I'm trying Ryan: I'm still on probation Marissa: I SAID I'm trying (still looking) (the sound of a siren, and flashing lights) Ryan: (sigh) of course this is happening (Marissa leans down and puts the open bottle between her feet, then does up her seatbelt. Ryan pulls the car over) Officer: happy holidays, license registration...you got a broken tail light do you know that Ryan: (handing over papers) it just happened, we're gonna get it fixed Officer: (shines the torch) you kids haven't ben drinkin? Ryan: no sir Officer: everything alright here miss Marissa: (puts her hand over her eyes because of the torch) yeah fine, thanks Office: miss would you please- (he gets a message over the radio) copy that, I've got a call I need to get to, I'm gonna let you go with just a warning for that tail light, you get that fixed, drive straight home Ryan: yes sir (Officer drives off. Ryan sits there for a second then he undoes his seat belt and gets out. slams his door and goes around the front of the car to Marissa's side. opens her door grabs the bottle and throws it out hard. you hear it smash. he slams Marissa's door, then opens it and slams it again and again) Marissa: (crying) stop ok your scaring me Ryan: GOOD, you're scarin me! (walks to the front of the car) there's drinking, crying, cops well then it mus be Christmas (Marissa gets out and goes over to him) Ryan: I left this behind, I am not doing it again Marissa: (crying) (softly) ok (sniffs) ok (takes his hand) CUT TO: Cohen's kitchen the next morning - Ryan is eating breakfast and Seth comes in Seth: well the ladies laid down the law its over Ryan: what're you gonna do Seth: (hands out) I have no idea, I don't know no female has ever really offered me a-uh-uh a choice perse, I really only know how to handle rejection... and ridicule I have a really good handle on ridicule. how was your night? Ryan: (sigh) Marissa got drunk and we got pulled over by the cops with an open container of Vodka Seth: hey, that Marissa she's really making life interesting for you Ryan: yep, we got in a fight Seth: what about the cop Ryan: got a radio call (swallows) let us off with a warning for a busted tail light...now you see why I hate Christmas Seth: hang on a second Ryan um it seems to me that what we have here is a Chrismukkah --miracle (looking up) thankyou (excited) think about this for a second the old Ryan Atwood what woulda happened (Ryan frowns, listening) he woulda got busted, for sure but this time ya had Jesus workin for ya right and then you also had Moses workin together the super team fightin for you to keep you safe and give you a second chance (smiles) touched by an angel...that's nice, its got a good ring to it, I believe my faith has ben restored uh I should go get ready, Anna will be here soon Ryan: what're you gonna tell her? Seth: I'm sure the words will come CUT TO: Seth & Anna in the back yard. this scene also cuts to Seth & Summer Seth: alright, I just think that considering everything, oh actually wait hang on let me actually try another approach um... (Summer) I think your awesome and your hillarious an-an your caliente (Anna) an I think y'know your extremely witty an your wise and I kinda can't believe I'm actually gonna say this but um I just I think we should be friends (Summer) and I want you to have this (hands her present) Summer: I don't wanna be your friend (hands present back) Anna: I don't wanna be your friend (hands present back) Seth: (now sitting) you can never have too many copies of the Goonies (sigh, puts his head on his chest) CUT TO: inside the Cohen house (doorbell) Kirsten goes to answer it Caleb: (walking in) it was corporate espionage I coulda had you fired even sued you for breach of confidentiality Kirsten: dad you were extorting the county, putting the company at huge risks sooner or later this was gonna come out and then what Caleb: when you found that report y-you could of shown me Kirsten: you could of shown me when it started, I'm sorry but I just didn't see any other way Caleb: it was dishonest, calculating and ruthless. Kiki... we just might make a real estate mogul out of you yet Kirsten: well that's something to look forward to Caleb: hmm (touches the tree) your moms ornaments, tree looks nice Kirsten: there may be a gift under there for you (Caleb raises his eyebrows) maybe CUT TO: Sandy coming into the pool house, Ryan is on his way out Sandy: hey where you goin, we were thinkin about gettin a movie Ryan: uh Marissa's spose to go see a therapist this morning Sandy: ohh she's goin through alot Ryan: yeah I thought I'd go with her Sandy: yeah you could...or uh not. y'know Marissa's gonna have to figure this out by herself an you gotta let her...your here with us now you don't have to be the parent anymore Ryan: (half smile) movie huh Sandy: yeah but it's my pick (walking out with Ryan) the selection of a movie is something of an art CUT TO: Marissa going into the therapist's office. She walks in and sits down, she is fidgety and doesn't want to be there. she flicks through a magazine, looks at her watch, puts the magazine down, rubs her hands on her legs then picks up her jacket and stands Oliver: I came here three times before I actually walked through that door...(looking up) I know you, you go to Harbor right Marissa: (still standing) Marissa Cooper, hi Oliver: yeah you're the girl at school who organises things, parties and stuff right Marissa: (sitting) social chair is what that's called (they look at each other for a bit) you go to Harbor? Oliver: no, no I go to Pacific...Oliver Trask (Marissa doesn't say anything and avoids eye contact) for a social chair (laughs) well I don't find you to be very social at all, we're gonna have to talk to somebody about a recall Marisa: this is...a psychiatrist's office, it's kind of embarrassing Oliver: yeah-yeah your right, this is totally embarrassing...so lets suggest the obvious an move on...what's wrong with you (Marissa looks at him) (sits forward) what is wrong-with you Marissa: well if I knew I wouldn't be here Oliver: ...you're not an alcoholic...yet, you've od'ed at least once pills I'd say, muscle relaxants definitely (Marissa looks at him, Oliver raises his eyebrows) Marissa: pain killers Oliver: you didn't really wanna hurt yourself, Kurt Cobain yeah he wanted to hurt himself Marissa: (half smiles) you know coming here wasn't my idea Oliver: (shrugs) maybe not but you wouldn't be here if you didn't wanna be...you wanna know why you are the way you are (Marissa smiles at him, not quite sure how to take him. a door opens and someone walks out) Oliver: that's you, I'm waitin on the next door (Marissa stands, looking nervous again) see you next week (Marissa smiles and looks not as nervous as she walks passed) CUT TO: Seth lying on the couch. Ryan comes in Ryan: how'd it go with the girls? Seth: (grabs present from the table) Seth Cohen starter pack Ryan: I think I'm passed that now (holds up his stocking) Seth: (looking) is that what I think it is Ryan: yeah, figured I'd hang it Seth: (sitting up, excited) alright man another Chrismukkah convert, nice, I never doubted it for a second (standing) check it out I already put the hook up just in case (Ryan walks over to it. Kirsten and Sandy come through the front door) Kirsten: hey Sandy: alright what'll it be, fiddler on the roof, it's a wonderful life or my selection Silvester Stalones over the top Seth: (scoffs) isn't that the arm wrestling movie Sandy: (imitating sly) arm wrestling classic Seth: oh hey uh Merry Chrismukkah you guys (gives a starter pack to Kirsten & Sandy) Sandy: oh |
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