Episode 612 - All the Right Moves

In this episode: Joey follows Eddie to his family home where they face up to their true emotions and the obstacles they must overcome to be together. Back in Boston, Pacey is invited to an exclusive party where he receives a promotion and is recruited to be part of a special project but is tipped off that the project maybe not be ethical. Audrey returns from Los Angeles and is welcomed back into the band, but blows her chances by getting drunk just before taking the stage.

Original Airdate: January 22, 2003

[Scene: Hell's Kitchen. Jen, Jack and Pacey are sitting at a table talking together, when Joey comes up and joins them carrying a bowl full of popcorn. They are all joking and laughing with one another.]

Jen: Yeah, yeah, and if I said-- if I said--if I said one word like that, the whole thing would be, like, aah!

[All laugh]

Jen: And another thing about bad bosses—

[Audrey comes into the bar and looks around and sees them and sheepishly goes over to the table]

Joey: Oh.

Audrey: So... anyway, here's the thing. Um, I messed up, and I'm really sorry... you know, for my insane behavior the past couple of months, for any pain or worry I might have caused you guys, for... pushing you away when you were just trying to be my friends. So the thing is that after the whole Christmas debacle, you know, I went home to Los Angeles, and... this one night, this one horrible, horrible night, I found myself at this party in Malibu on this beach... full of strangers. And the sun was coming up, and... I was just drunk off my ass, and... I remember looking around and thinking, "you know what? "Maybe the problem isn't Joey... "or Pacey or... "Jen or C.J. "Or jack or Dawson or anyone else. "Just maybe... maybe it's me." I don't expect you to forgive me right away because I do realize how bad I've messed up, and... you know, I just... if you guys wanna call me sometime, you know, just to say hi, that would be really cool. Because I really love you guys, and I miss you, and I'm just really sorry.

[They all get up and stop her before she can leave]

Joey: Audrey.

Jen: Audrey.

Pacey: Hey, come on. Come back here.

Joey: Audrey. Audrey.

Joey: Hey. We missed you.

Audrey: Yeah. I missed you, sweetie.

Jen: It's ok.

[They all take turns hugging Audrey]

Audrey: Oh, god! Ha!

[Opening Credits]

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: Hell's Kitchen. Emma is leaning on the pool table while staring at the new bartender, when Joey comes walking up from the back room. Joey sees Emma and decides to find out what she is doing.]

Joey: What are you doing?

Emma: I was just having a sexual fantasy about the new bartender. We were out in the alley, and we were doing it against the brick wall behind the garbage bins.

Joey: Interesting. 'Cause to me, it's totally the pool table.

Emma: Joey potter, I am shocked!

Joey: What? I am not above the occasional random sexual fantasy to help the otherwise glacially paced workday. Believe me. Don't let the prim exterior fool you. Underneath it all, I'm actually... less prim.

Emma: [Laughs] Oh, while we're on the subject of bartenders with lust-worthy asses, whatever happened to Eddie?

Joey: What do you mean? He got fired.

Emma: Well, I know that. But he never even came back to clear out his locker.

Joey: Well, why would you think that I would know where he was?

Emma: Well, weren't you two—

Joey: Oh. Oh, we had a little fling. A barely significant fling. I mean, it was... nothing.

Emma: I guess I must have got it wrong.

Joey: Yeah. Me and Eddie, way over. It was over before it started.

Emma: Ok, well, good. Then I guess you wouldn't mind clearing out his locker. The boss has been asking me about it, and we really do need the space. I'd do it myself, but I was kinda hoping to cut out early for band practice.

Joey: Yeah, sure. That's no problem.

Emma: Good. Ok. Um, I guess you can pretty much just throw everything into the garbage. If there was anything of any worth, I'm sure he would have come back for it already.

Joey: Right.

Emma: You're a love. [She looks down at the bartender's ass as he walks by and winks at Joey] Oh. Have fun then, Joey.

[Scene: The Brokerage. Pacey is attending a meeting with the other brokers in the office. Rich is going over the tasks ahead of them.]

Rich: So continue watching to see if the merger takes. In the meantime, advise caution to your clients. Now one final note. I'd like to remind you to keep pushing Stepatech industries. It's about to shoot through the roof. When their new drug gets approved on Monday, anyone who holds the stock is going to be very, very rich. And I don't need to remind you that Stepatech itself is a client here, and we'd like to keep them happy, so keep giving it the hard sell. All right, let's go out there and make some money.

[Everyone leaves]

Rich: Witter, can I talk to you for one second? Please.

[Rich turns to Pacey before he can leave]

Rich: Here's the thing. I know we've had our problems in the past, but don't think that because of that I'd let your good work go unnoticed or unrewarded.

Pacey: Rich, please, the enormous commissions are reward enough for me.

Rich: Spoken like a true acolyte. So I have an extra reward in store for you. There's a big shindig tomorrow night at the home of Roger Stepavitch. Do you know who Roger Stepavitch is?

Pacey: Of course I do. He's the founder and CEO of Stepatech industries.

Rich: Very good. He asked me personally to bring my most promising seller to this particular shindig, which puts me in kind of a tough position because, well, it's you, Pacey. You're my best seller. Let's face it. You have some sort of natural gift for this stuff, a gift which unfortunately is matched only by your incredible ego and attitude. And I'm torn because on the one hand, I see flashes of greatness in you. And on the other hand, I see flashes of you freaking out on me in the middle of the French quarter down in New Orleans, or you suddenly pretending to get sick and blowing off work for a couple days for no apparent reason. So as you can see, I'm in a bit of a bind. I want to bring you to this party, Pacey. But first I need to know something. Can you be a team player?

Pacey: Wow, rich, I-- I mean, uh, heh. I don't know what to say here. I'm honored.

Rich: Yeah.

Pacey: I'm honored by the trust that you've placed in me, and I do know that we have had our differences in the past. But you should know that now I am 100% committed to this job and everything that it has to offer. And I fully realize what an enormous opportunity you're giving me here by taking me to this party, so—

Rich: Witter, I don't need your life story. A simple yes or no would have sufficed.

Pacey: Right. Well, in that case, yes, absolutely. You can count on me 100%. I'm a team player.

Rich: Good. It's settled, then. You're coming to the party.

Pacey: I--I appreciate that. That's--this is fantastic.

[Scene: Outside Emma's Apartment. Audrey turns the corner of the hallway to Emma's apartment and sees a line of women lined up to her door. She makes her way around the women, and knocks on the door. Emma opens the door and is a shocked to see Audrey there.]

Emma: Sorry to keep you all waiting. I-- oh. Hello.

Audrey: Dude, what is up with all the Courtney Love wannabes? It's like an Audrey convention out there.

Emma: Um, yes, well, why don't you come on in and I'll explain about that.

Audrey: [Sighs] Hey. Ok, you guys, what's up? Why are you looking at me like somebody died?

Emma: I don't know how to say this. Um, those girls out there? They're out there because they're auditioning to be lead singer of this band.

Audrey: But we already have a lead singer, you guys.

Emma: Yes, we did have a lead singer. Unfortunately, she flaked out so terribly, she had to be replaced. You know, got drunk a lot, messed up on stage, and then disappeared to California without so much as a phone call, missing several band rehearsals, you know, the usual bit that gets lead singers kicked out of bands. But the thing is we have a gig tomorrow night, like, a real gig. Well, we're third on the bill, but we're opening up for a band that's opening up for a band that's really good. Like, amazing, actually, and... this could potentially be huge for us, and we can't afford to muck it up.

Audrey: What band?

Emma: Loud milk.

Audrey: Oh. I love that band.

Emma: Don't we all, and we're playing at the Bent Elbow.

Audrey: The place is, like, famous.

Emma: I know. It's all fairly monumental, which is why we needed a new lead singer, one with the talent minus the drama.

Audrey: Ok. I got it, but... the thing is... that you guys should know, is that there was this lead singer, you know, the one who flaked out terribly and messed up and deserved to get fired, but, you see, that lead singer--she's gone. Because she had this moment of clarity on a beach in Malibu, and she realized that all of the drinking and the partying and--and the general mayhem was costing her the things that were most important in her life like her friends and... this band. You guys, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry because this band is one of the few things that I care about in the whole stupid world! Ok, and--and you have got to admit that I may be part of the reason why you guys got that gig. And you know that none of those girls out there are gonna be half as good as me when I'm good! And I promise you that if you give me another chance, I will be better than good. I will be the best. Please. You guys, just gimme-- just gimme another chance, please?

[Emma looks at the other and members and they all nod their approval.]

Emma: Ok. But I swear, if you make me regret this, I will kill you.

Audrey: No, I won't, I won't, I won't!

[Audrey runs over and hugs Emma and they both fall onto the couch.]

Emma: Aaaah!

[Scene: Back room of Hell's Kitchen. Joey is cleaning out Eddie's locker. She throws away some papers, and a shirt that he has left in the locker. She reaches in and pulls out a large envelope that was addressed to Eddie at his parent's house, and opens and pulls out a letter and large document. She reads the letter, and it is a rejection letter from a publisher. She looks at the document and reads “Greetings from Worchester Short Stories by Eddie Doling” on the cover page. She decides not to throw this out.]

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: The Bent Elbow. Audrey and Emma's band are rehearsing in front of many of the other bands members, and everyone is getting into the music that they are playing. Audrey is singing “Bad Times“ and is sounding rather good now that she is sober.]

[Rock music playing]

[They finish the song, and rap their rehearsal session.]

Emma: that actually sounded very good. All right. So, everyone meet back here at 8:15?

Audrey: Ok. Sure.

[Audrey walks into the back room and runs into a member of one of the other bands playing.]

Man: Hey.

Audrey: Hello.

Man: You girls rock.

Audrey: Oh. Well, thanks.

Man: So, um... uh, you like to have fun?

Audrey: I guess.

Man: Well, I'm with the, uh, the other opening band, Satan's Tampon? You ever hear of us?

Audrey: [Laughs] I can't say that I have.

Man: Right. Well, there's a-- there's a party happenin' later on the tour bus if you wanna come.

[Scene: Joey's Dorm Room. Joey and Harley are there sitting on her bed, and Joey is tutoring Harley in Geometry.]

Joey: Ok, Harley, all you have to do is follow the formula. It's simple. "A" squared plus "b" squared equals "c" squared.

Harley: [Scoffs] Forget it. I'm never gonna get it.

Joey: Yes, you will. You just follow the formula.

Harley: Screw the formula. The formula can lick my lily-white ass.

Joey: Nice. You kiss your father with that mouth?

Harley: Ew, gross. Why would I kiss my father?

Joey: You know what? Fine. Why don't we take a break? You want a soda?

Harley: I'd rather have a vodka.

Joey: Oh, sorry. We're out.

[Joey throws her a can of soda, and Harley is just staring at her.]

Joey: What?

Harley: Just wonderin' how you're holdin' up.

Joey: How I'm holding up?

Harley: Look, we could sit here all night and pretend that I don't know what I know about you and Eddie or you could actually realize that I might be a good confidante or shoulder to cry on. We could talk about it.

Joey: I appreciate the offer, but there's really nothing to talk about.

Harley: What do you mean there's nothing to talk about? The boy just disappeared with no explanation. He broke your heart. You're dying inside, wanting to know what happened to him.

Joey: Thanks for the recap.

Harley: Joey, listen, I may be a 15-year-old idiot, but... I'm also your friend, and I understand the situation with you and Eddie better than you're giving me credit for.

Joey: You're my friend?

Harley: Yeah. We're friends. Aren't we?

Joey: Yeah, I guess we are.

Harley: Cool. So, how's the search going? Any new leads?

Joey: What search? What, am I supposed to hire a private detective to find some guy I dated for 2 months who obviously never wants to see me again?

Harley: Well, how do you know he doesn't want to see you? Maybe he just got bonked on the head and now he has amnesia. Or maybe he got kidnapped by international jewel thieves. Point is, you have to be your own detective.

Joey: Well, now that you mention it, and I can't believe I'm telling you this, but... I sort of found a manuscript he wrote. It had a phone number and address on it in Worcester, which is where his parents live, and they probably know where he is—

Harley: Well, what are you waiting for?

Joey: What, am I just supposed to call them up and ask?

Harley: Yes! Duh.

Joey: Don't you think it-- it seems a little desperate and pathetic?

Harley: It's romantic and heartfelt.

Joey: I guess it wouldn't hurt to call. I mean, at least I'd know where he was. You know, that he was alive.

Harley: Go. Call.

[Dialing]

Harley: What's going on?

Joey: Oh, it's all very exciting. The phone is actually ringing.

Harley: [Laughs] Shut up.

[Cut to a ringing Phone. Eddie Picks it up off he toolbox next to the car he is working on]

Eddie: Hello?

[Joey hangs up the phone, and Eddie looks confused for a sec, then goes back to work on the car.]

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: The big Fancy Party. Rich and Pacey have just arrived at the party and have walked in to join the party. A man sees them and walks over to welcome them.]

Rich: Welcome to the big leagues, my friend. Please don't embarrass me.

Carl: Rich Rinaldi.

Rich: Hi.

Carl: Hey. How ya doing? It's good to see ya.

Rich: Good to see you.

Carl: So, congratulations on landing the account. Roger's over there singing your praises.

Rich: That's certainly appreciated, Carl. We do our best. This is, uh, Carl Rosen, VP in charge of marketing at Stepatech. Have you met Pacey Witter, one of our most promising young sellers? I have a feeling you're gonna be hearing a lot from him in the future.

Carl: Oh, pleasure to meet you, Mr. Witter.

Pacey: It's a pleasure to meet you, too, sir.

Carl: Well, gentlemen, keep up the good work. Enjoy yourselves.

Pacey: Thank you.

Rich: Thanks.

[Rich sees a woman at the other end of the room]

Rich: Ah. Excuse me. Uh, I see someone that I'm going need to pow-wow with. You gonna be ok on your own for a little while?

Pacey: [Chuckles]

[Rich goes off, and Pacey goes over to the hors devour table and grabs a small one when a strange but very good looking lady comes quickly over to join him]

Lady: Ok. Save me.

Pacey: I'm sorry?

Lady: Ok, there's this 98-year-old man over there that will not stop grabbing my ass. So, you know, just until he stops lurking, just pretend that we're having some sort of a conversation.

Pacey: Ok. [Laughs] Hi.

Lady: That's it? That's it? That's all I get? "Ok. Hi"?

Pacey: Ok. Hi, I'm Pacey Witter.

Lady: Oh. Well, so, you're Pacey Witter.

Pacey: What, you've heard of me?

Lady: Let's just say that your reputation precedes you. Now, I've heard that you are quite the up-and-coming young talent, a real boy wonder.

Pacey: And just where did you hear that?

Lady: Let's just say that I make it my business to know these things.

Pacey: So, then, you work for Stepatech?

Lady: Nope.

Pacey: So...

Lady: it must be a real honor, rich picking you out of everybody to come here tonight?

Pacey: I see. You know rich. Well, whatever you do, do not believe a word that man says about me.

Lady: So, tell me something, Pacey. You're new at this, right?

Pacey: Mm-hmm.

Lady: Mm-hmm. Tough business. Lotta sharks.

Pacey: Ah, it's not so bad.

Lady: Why this? Smart kid like you, you could be in college. I mean, is it the money or—

Pacey: No. No. Not really. Well, that's a lie. In the beginning it was definitely the money, and then after that, it was the thrill of the hunt, the adrenaline, and now I guess it's some combination of the both. And what about you? What do you do?

Lady: Ooh. I guess he's gone.

Pacey: Wait, that's it? You're just gonna leave?

Lady: Mm-hmm.

Pacey: But I don't even know your name.

Lady: Well, you're gonna have to try a little harder than that. I'll see ya later, Pacey.

[Scene: Hell's Kitchen. Joey is sitting at the end of the bar, reading the short stories of Eddie's. Hetson comes rushing into the bar and immediately goes over to Joey.]

Hetson: Where is she?

Joey: Who?

Hetson: Who? Who, she says. You know damn well who!

Joey: Harley?

Hetson: Harley, get your butt out here this instant!

Joey: Harley isn't here.

Hetson: You don't have to cover for her, Joey. The school called. She cut class again. Fourth time this month. Harley? Come on, I know you're hiding. Don't be afraid, just get your ass out here so that I can kick it into oblivion.

Joey: You know, I hate to interrupt your extremely effective parenting techniques, but I'm afraid she's really not here.

Hetson: Well, where do you think she went? I mean, she--she's probably ok, right? I mean, I mean you--you think she's ok, don't you?

Joey: Where is this coming from?

Hetson: Look, Joey, I--I admit that I haven't been the most present parent to this point, but sometime-- I don't know, one minute it was all barney and Elmo, and now, well, I'm kinda startin' to realize that my little muffin might just be a juvenile delinquent.

Joey: All right. Calm down. She's not a juvenile delinquent. I mean, yeah, she talks a good game, and she may skip school occasionally, but... it's all just a front. Trust me.

Hetson: Still doesn't change the fact that she's missing. My little girl is missing.

[Harley comes walking up to join them]

Harley: Hey, daddy.

Hetson: Harley. Where have you been, young lady?

Harley: I just had an errand to run... in Worcester.

[Eddie comes walking up behind Harley]

Eddie: Hey.

[Scene: Band's Tour Bus. There are a lot of people in the bus partying, and Audrey is sitting on one of the couches a little out of place.]

[Rock music playing]

Man: Big gig, huh?

Audrey: Yeah.

Man: You nervous?

Audrey: No. That's a lie. Yeah, actually, tremendously. I don't think I've ever done this sober before.

Man: Well, in that case—

[She looks at the bottle, and nods her head no.]

Audrey: I quit.

Man: Quit?

Audrey: I'm re-assessing my life or something.

Man: Bummer.

Audrey: Yeah.

Man2: Yeah, whatever happened to that girl in Philly?

[She finally gives in, and decides to have a drink.]

Audrey: You know what? Actually, can I just... have a sip?

Man2: Yeah. Sure.

Audrey: Thanks.

[One of the guys holds out his hand with 3 pills on it.]

Man: Want one of these?

Audrey: Ok.

[She takes one and chugs it down with the bottle of alcohol still in her hand.]

Audrey: Ugh. There you go.

[Scene: Hell's Kitchen. Joey is trying to keep herself busy working while trying to ignore Eddie, but he is following her all around the bar. ]

Eddie: So do you think maybe you could stop ignoring me so we could go somewhere and talk?

Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I ignoring you?

[Hetson comes walking up to the bar, and stops in front of Joey carrying 2 empty glasses and finishing off a buffalo wing in his hand.]

Hetson: My compliments to the chef on the deep-fried buffalo wings. They're excellent tonight.

Joey: Shouldn't you be home punishing her?

Hetson: I am punishing her. I'm making her sit and have a meal with her father. By the way, we're outta root beer.

Joey: Ask the bartender.

Hetson: Hey. Thank you for driving her back, but do me a favor. The next time my daughter comes to visit you in the gutter, shut the door, slither off, and stay the hell away from her.

[He turns from Eddie and Joey and goes off in search of the bartender.]

Eddie: So, that's it? You're just not gonna talk to me?

Joey: If you have something to say, go ahead.

Eddie: Fine. Look, Joey, I'm--I'm here because I know, and I wanna help you deal with this. I mean, it's my problem, too.

Joey: What?

Eddie: Look, Harley told me. Ok? I know.

Joey: Know what?

Eddie: About... about the whole, you know, the whole pregnancy thing.

Joey: Oh. You mean the whole fake pregnancy thing she made up in order to lure you here under false pretenses. That whole pregnancy thing.

Eddie: So, whoa, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're not-- you mean you're-- you're not pregnant?

Joey: No.

Eddie: Oh, thank god.

Joey: Even if I was, I certainly wouldn't tell Harley.

[Joey moves a tray that was sitting on the short stories she was reading earlier.]

Eddie: Hey, is this my, uh-- where did you get this?

Joey: Just one of the many non-valuables you left behind for someone else to clean up.

Eddie: Oh, I see. So I leave you behind, therefore you send your little minion to come after me and trick me back?

Joey: But perhaps if you didn't wanna be found, Eddie, maybe you should've covered your tracks a little better.

Eddie: Did you-- did you call my house and hang up yesterday?

Joey: No.

Eddie: Wow, you know, I mean, it makes sense. I mean, you're obviously pissed off by the way things ended between us.

Joey: Oh, you see, you know what? That's where you're wrong because things actually really never ended between us, Eddie. You just up and moved to Worcester for no apparent reason without even informing me, which to me, if you ask me, that's not really an ending, now, is it? I don't care. I mean, now that I know you're alive, the mystery's solved. You can go.

Eddie: Joey, I left, but did you ever stop to think that maybe I did that for you?

Joey: Are you dying, Eddie?

Eddie: No.

Joey: Were you protecting, uh, government secrets? Were you kidnapped by international jewel thieves? Is that it? Because otherwise, the only person you did that for was yourself. It was a nice, easy out. I get it. You know what, you got it. You're out.

Eddie: Do you think it was that easy? It was the hardest thing I've ever done.

Joey: Really?

Eddie: You know what? Forget it, ok? It doesn't matter. I'm just gonna go.

Joey: Fine.

Eddie: Fine.

Joey: Fine!

[Eddie turns and leaves, and Joey grabs her coat and goes outside after him]

Joey: So, why, Eddie?

Eddie: Why? Because, ok?

Joey: Because?

Eddie: Because. Because I couldn't even face you. Ok? Because I was ashamed.

Joey: Ashamed? Ashamed of what?

Eddie: Ashamed of what? Joey, I couldn't even find a job. I couldn't pay rent. They turned my electricity off. I had cockroaches crawling on my arm.

Joey: But why would you think that would make a difference to me, Eddie? I mean, I'm poor, too, remember? I'm just like you.

Eddie: No, ok? You are not just like me, 'cause you actually have a future. You actually have a life ahead of you.

Joey: So do you.

Eddie: No! No, don't you see? I mean, that's why I punched Hetson that time, because he was right, and I knew he was right. I mean, why is it that you're the only one who can't see it? Joey, I'm nothing. I'm just a guy with no job, no money in the bank, no prospects, no education, no talents, nothing. Hell, I even got the rejection letter to prove it.

Joey: They said you have promise.

Eddie: Well, they say that to everyone they reject.

Joey: Yeah, but in your case, it's true.

Eddie: Look, I appreciate the pep talk and all, I do. But let's face facts. I mean, you and I, we're headed for 2 very different futures. And the truth is, Joey, is... you deserve to be with the best guy in the room, not the one who picks up his trash or buses his table. You're gonna have whatever you want in this life, Joey.

Joey: I wanted you.

Eddie: No. No, you wanted that guy you met in English class. And I'm not him. I gotta go.

[Scene: The Bent Elbow. Emma's Band is up on stage starting up, when Audrey comes stumbling up to the stage and slams down a shot of alcohol before grabbing the mic and begins singing, much poorer than before.]

[Audience applauding]

Audrey: What is up, bent elbow?!

[Begins singing “Love Is All Around “]

[Scene: The Fancy Party. Pacey is standing with 2 other guys at the party and listening to them rant on.]

Man: Well, I got in on the ground floor. Sort of had an instinct about it.

Man2: Instinct or luck?

Man: I don't believe in luck when it comes to money.

Man2: The lucky ones never do.

[Pacey looks over and sees the lady he was talking to earlier talking with some other guys, when Rich comes up and gets his attention.]

Rich: Come on, we have some business to attend to.

Pacey: Do you know her?

Rich: Who?

Pacey: Her.

Rich: Uh, well, from the back of her head, I'd say I have absolutely no idea. Now, perhaps, you'd like to join me in the private office of Roger Stepavitch so we can discuss ways you and I can get closer to becoming millionaires.

Pacey: I can do that.

Rich: Good.

[Scene: The Private Office of Roger Stepavitch. Rich and Pacey take a seat at the couch opposite of Roger, as he sits down in a large leather chair to talk business.]

Roger: So, Pacey, rich tells me you have quite a raw talent.

Pacey: Well, everything I learned, I learned from Rich.

Roger: Well, I appreciate all your hard work. You've helped sell a lot of Stepatech stock for us.

Pacey: Only because I believe in your company, sir.

Roger: Tell me, Pacey, were you surprised when rich told you that we decided you should take on a more prominent role in the handling of the Stepatech corporate account?

Rich: Actually, roger, I hadn't mentioned it to him yet.

Roger: Oh.

Pacey: And I'm really sorry, gentlemen, but I don't think I follow. What do you mean, a more prominent role?

Rich: Uh, it's like a promotion, Pacey. Your title will stay the same, but you will be getting a substantial raise. And from now on, your name will be on all transactions that we handle for Stepatech corporate.

Pacey: That's-- that's fantastic. But honestly, do you think I'm ready for something like that? I mean, I just finished those series 7s, and I'm a little green, but other than that, you know, if you think I can do it—

Roger: Uh, I thought that you said that, um—

Rich: Actually, I'm a little surprised by your attitude, Pacey.

Pacey: I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I think I mis-spoke. It's just such a fantastic opportunity for a man as young as myself. It caught me a little flat-footed. But let it never be said that Pacey J. Witter is not all about stepping into the future, which, if I'm correct, is actually the slogan for your fine company.

Rich: That'll do.

Roger: Excellent. Well, welcome aboard, young man. I predict great things for you in the future.

Pacey: Well, thank you, sir. And I hope I can live up to your expectations.

Roger: I have no doubt that you will.

[Scene: Hell's Kitchen. Joey is cleaning up the table that Harley is sitting at.]

Harley: You're mad at me, aren't you?

Joey: No.

Harley: Yes, you are. I know I messed up. I'm sorry. You were so sad, I just thought I could help.

Joey: I know, Harley. It's just that in the future, maybe you could obtain express written consent before you go off willy-nilly telling boys that I'm pregnant. Or on second thought, maybe you could just not do it at all, ok?

Harley: I won't. Promise.

Joey: Thanks.

Harley: So what happened?

Joey: He's gone. He just left, and he's given up, and the thing that sucks about it is I read those stories, and they're actually really good, and he's never gonna do anything with them. He's probably just gonna rot away in Worcester for the rest of his life and there's nothing that I can do.

Harley: Look.

[She points over to her father who is standing at the bar, paying the bill.]

Joey: What?

Harley: Hello?

Joey: No.

Harley: Why not?

Joey: Because I'm... I'm not asking your dad to read his stories. I mean, he'd never help him, and even if he wanted to, Eddie would never let him.

Harley: It's worth a try, isn't it? I mean, if my dad hates them, Eddie never has to know, and if he loves them, maybe he can help him. It's better than him rotting away in Worcester forever.

[She goes over to Hetson with the stories, that she has grabbed from behind the bar.]

Joey: Professor Hetson, um... I was wondering if you could maybe read these short stories and tell me what you think.

Hetson: You are aware that I'm honest to a point some have called brutal?

Joey: Yes.

Hetson: And that I've crushed more than one would-be Sylvia Plath's literary ambitions into oblivion? You're still willing to take that chance with yours?

Joey: They're not really my ambitions.

[He looks at the Short stories and sees Eddie's Name.]

Hetson: No.

Joey: Come on. You just have to read them. I mean, they're really good. They're amazing, actually.

Hetson: I don't care.

Joey: You're his last chance, professor Hetson. I know that you have connections. If you could just give him some encouragement, at least?

Hetson: Look, miss potter, let's get something clear. Not only is your Mr. Doling not a registered student at Worthington, not only did he try to defraud our hallowed university, ok, not only did he kidnap my one and only-

Joey: He didn't kidnap her. He gave her a ride home.

Hetson: Potato, po-tah-to. The thing is, Joey, I could forgive all that if it were not for one fatal mistake. He punched me in the face. I mean, there could have been scarring, broken bones. We're talking serious disfigurement of one of my most cherished assets, and that is not cool in my book. Come on, Harley. We gotta go.

[Hetson turns to leave, and Harley grabs her coat and the stories out of Joey's hands]

Harley: Don't worry. I'll work on him.

Joey: Don't forget your bag.

Harley: Shh.

[Scene: Bent Elbow. Audrey is still singing with the band, but is actually getting worse. She is having trouble with the lines of the song, and stumbling around on the stage while singing. The band just look at one another shaking the heads, but continue playing.]

[Audrey singing “Bad Times“ and “Love Is All Around “ mixed together]

[She jumps into the crowd, and does some crowd surfing. The drugs are getting to her and things are starting to get out of focus. The put her back on the stage and she grabs the mic she dropped]

Audrey: aah, whoa! I want to be the lizard king!

[She passes out on the stage]

Man: Boo!

[Audience booing]

Woman: She sucks!

[Audience booing]

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: Back stage of the Bent Elbow. Audrey is sitting on a chair leaning against the walk to keep from falling over. Emma comes walking up and hands her a bottle of water.]

Emma: Feel better?

Audrey: Yeah.

Emma: Good. You're out of the band.

Audrey: No. Emma, you can't kick me out. You can't. I can do better because I had this moment of clarity on a beach in Malibu and I know that I need to be better, and I can—

Emma: Don't want to hear it, Audrey. You're out. I'll call you a cab. Go home and sleep it off.

[Scene: Hell's Kitchen. Joey is cleaning up the bar, when Hetson comes storming in and walks over to her.]

Hetson: Yes, yes, I am back. Can you believe it? Harley "forgot" her backpack.

Joey: Oh, yeah, um, I'll get it for you. It's right behind the bar.

Hetson: So your little plan worked. Harley annoyed me into reading a couple of Mr. Doling's stories.

[He hands her the stories]

Joey: Really?

Hetson: Yes. And while I found them to be overall perhaps maybe a little overwrought and derivative, they do show at their core a writer with potential.

Joey: Really? You think he has potential?

Hetson: Don't make me say it again.

Joey: Well, I mean, is there something-- there's gotta be something you can do to help him. I mean, maybe you can show his stories to a publisher.

Hetson: He's not ready for that.

Joey: Well, maybe you could pull some strings at Worthington.

Hetson: No.

Joey: Come on, there's gotta be something you can do, anything.

Hetson: All right. There is someone I know who teaches at the California writer's workshop.

Joey: Are you serious? Do you think you can get him in?

Hetson: I think Eddie could get Eddie in with my recommendation.

Joey: Well, isn't that place kind of, like, prestigious?

Hetson: Kinda, like, uh-huh.

Joey: Well, he doesn't even have an undergrad degree.

Hetson: Yeah, no, I know. I still think he's got a shot. Let me know what he says.

Joey: Oh, yeah, well, you know what, actually, professor Hetson, I think he'd rather hear it from you.

Hetson: Joey, the kid punched me. I'll try and get him into this program, but I kinda think that that's enough.

Joey: Yeah, but, see, professor Hetson, the thing is, he's kind of... given up, and I don't think he'd listen to me. I really... we're not on the best of terms.

Hetson: It's a fascinating saga. Tell you what. It's up to you. You want to try and convince him, tell him I'll write a recommendation, but either way, it's up to you. The ball's in your court, kid. Look, I'm off. I've got Harley chained to a radiator.

[Joey looks at him in shock.]

Hetson: Kidding, Joey. Get a sense of humor.

[Scene: The fancy party. Pacey is getting ready to leave, and is waiting for the valet to bring his car around when the mystery lady from earlier comes walking up from behind him]

Lady: So, I guess this is good night.

Pacey: You know, I'm never going to be able to call you if you don't tell me your name.

Lady: That was a big night for you in there, huh?

Pacey: Yeah, I guess it was.

Lady: Yeah. So, um, I saw you and rich going into Roger's private office.

Pacey: I'm sorry?

Lady: Let me guess. You're moving up in the world, maybe he offered you a promotion? A big raise?

Pacey: Are you a reporter?

Lady: Look, I just think maybe you should ask yourself why this has all been so easy... or if it's just a little too good to be true. Good luck, Pacey.

[She gets into the car that the valet has brought around and leaves.]

[Scene: Joey and Audrey's Dorm Room. Audrey comes in and throws her coat on the floor and sits on her bed. After a minute or so she gets up and goes over to her dresser and grabs a bottle of alcohol out of her drawer and chugs a significant part of the bottle. After chugging the alcohol she looks at the bottle and then goes into the bathroom and pours out the rest of it into the sink. She goes to put the empty bottle onto the counter but it falls to the floor and smashes. Audrey goes back to her bed and collapses onto it.]

[Scene: Outside Eddie's Parents' house. She stops at the walk outside the house and looks from the stories she is carrying to the front door.]

Joey: [Gasps]

[She goes up and knocks on the door]

Eddie: Hey.

Joey: Hey.

Eddie: What are you doing here?

Joey: I thought that you should have this. It doesn't belong in the garbage.

[She hands him the stories, and he comes outside and closes the door.]

Eddie: Thanks.

Joey: Sure. I gave it to Hetson, and, uh, he said he could maybe get you into the California writer's workshop.

Eddie: You, uh, gave this to Hetson?

Joey: Yeah, that's right.

Eddie: What's the point, Joey? I mean, they're not gonna let me in. Even if they did, I can't afford that place.

Joey: Maybe there's a scholarship, ok? Or financial aid. The point is to at least try. I mean, this is a shot, Eddie, a real shot. I suggest you take it. Ok, you know what, if you want to be a coward about our relationship and run out on me, that's fine, but don't be a coward about this. I mean, this is your life. Don't give up so easily. I guess I should go.

[She turns to leave, but stops and turns back]

Joey: You know what? Actually, I'm not gonna go because that's just what you want me to do. Look, a long time ago, you told me that you wanted to be one of those people that took chances, who really lived life, but I guess that was a line, huh? Because as far as I can see, you're just afraid of me, of yourself, of actually living your life.

Eddie: You're right.

Joey: So now what? What are you gonna do about it? Are you just gonna sit here and rot away in Worcester?

Eddie: No.

[He kisses her, but she pushes him away.]

Joey: Wrong answer.

Eddie: I'm just doing what you told me to do.

Joey: That's not what I meant. [Sighs] It's too late for that, Eddie. I... I gotta go.

Eddie: Wait, Joey, wait. [Sighs] I love you. Please, Joey, don't--don't go. I don't want it to be too late.

Joey: I love you, too. Bye.

[Scene: Joey's dorm room. Joey comes into the dorm room, and sees Audrey passes out in bed, and she takes off her scarf. She sees Audrey's coat on the floor, bends down to pick it up, and looks into the bathroom and sees the smashed bottle of alcohol on the floor and turns quickly and runs over and tries to shake Audrey awake.]

Joey: Audrey. Audrey. Audrey, wake up. Audrey! Audrey.

[Audrey doesn't wake up and she quickly runs over and picks up the phone and dials 911.]