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1 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
Angel is sitting at the head of the conference table, tapping his fingers impatiently as he stares at the room full of empty chairs. He rolls his head, shuffles and stacks papers, then leans forward and stares at the speakerphone.
ANGEL
(impatiently presses a button on the speakerphone)
Harmony!
HARMONY (O.S.)
(over speakerphone)
I know! I called everyone. They're just...
ANGEL
(irritated)
Not here. I can see that. If they were here, I wouldn't be alone. Why am I alone?
HARMONY
(walks into the conference room)
Well, you can be super grouchy.
ANGEL
(presses a button on the speakerphone, turning it off, then looks up at Harmony)
The meeting?
HARMONY
(shrugs)
Everyone's otherwise occupado, boss. Wesley's stuck baby-sitting miss "I used to rule the world, bow down before me, minion scum."
(puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head)
Why aren't we killing her, again?
ANGEL
Gunn.
HARMONY
(sighs thoughtfully)
Maybe...
(leans on the back of a conference table chair)
...if we had a really big one.
ANGEL
(impatiently)
Where is Gunn?
HARMONY
(stands)
Oh. The hospital still. You know, from when Wesley...
(mimes stabbing)
and Lorne's kinda M.I.A. since...
ANGEL
Fred.
HARMONY
(nods sadly)
Okey-dokey then.
(shrugs with false cheer and exits)
SPIKE
(enters carrying a briefcase)
Where's the rest of the crew?
ANGEL
Apparently not coming.
SPIKE
But this is an important meeting.
ANGEL
At least somebody—
SPIKE
My first official parley as a very loosely affiliated member of the... what are we?
(puts his briefcase on the conference table)
Tell me we're not Scoobies.
(unlatches the briefcase)
ANGEL
We don't have a...
SPIKE
A name? Well, that's probably for the best. You'd want to be "Angel's Avengers" or something.
ANGEL
(frowns, mocking)
"Angel's Avengers," that's...
(stops himself as he ponders the sound of it)
SPIKE
(sits)
So what's on the agenda?
(reaches into his briefcase)
ANGEL
(leans over his papers)
Uh, I have assignments for people—
(looks up as the sound of a pop-top opening comes from Spike)
SPIKE
What?
(Angel glares)
I'm listening.
(holds up a beer can)
With beer.
(drinks)
ANGEL
(glares at Spike)
Forget it. You know what? This isn't a meeting. This is you being annoying.
(stands, sighs heavily, looks out the window)
SPIKE
(grabs a paper from the stack where Angel was sitting)
Hey, bullet points. Classy.
(pauses to read, then holds up the paper to Angel with contempt)
Why am I always reconnaissance? I should get a decently flash gig like "save the girl" or "steal the emerald with the girl."
ANGEL
(stares at his feet)
Handsome man, save me from the monsters.
(scoffs)
SPIKE
Exactly! Or— What's that now?
ANGEL
That's the first thing Fred said to me. In Pylea.
(paces behind his chair)
She was trapped, hiding, afraid. Nearly crazy. Crazy. But brave. I should never have let her come here. Bad things always happen here.
SPIKE
Hate to break it to you, mate, but bad things always happen everywhere. Besides, she wanted to be here. It was her choice.
ANGEL
Was it?
SPIKE
Bugger.
(stands)
You're fixing to do something stupid, aren't you?
ANGEL
Done it. Came here. Spend every day lying to myself about making the world a better place.
SPIKE
Welcome to the planet. We all paint on our happy faces every day, when all we really wanted is to pound the neighbor's missis, steal his Ben Franklins, and while we're at it, not think about the third of the world that's starving to death.
(walks toward the window, looks out)
ANGEL
I'm not saying that I can fix everything. I just—I... I have to do better. The senior partners have a plan.
SPIKE
(scoffs)
Yeah, the prophecy. That ever-lovin' apocalypse you keep going on about.
ANGEL
Yeah, which apocalypse— the one last year or the year before that? No, the senior partners are up to something now, and I'm not waiting for them to spring it on us. We're through operating in the dark.
SPIKE
OK, then. Might be easier if we knew anyone who had a direct line to the big guys.
Angel looks at Spike as an idea pops into his head.
Cut to:
2 INT. EVE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Standing side by side, Angel and Spike stare at Eve with their arms crossed.
EVE
No way. Even if my connection to the senior partners wasn't completely severed, I'm done helping you.
ANGEL
This isn't a negotiation, Eve.
EVE
(mocking)
Ooh, I'm intimidated. What could you possibly do to me? I've been trapped in this house for weeks like a—
SPIKE
Rat? Snake? Beady little rat snake?
ANGEL
You're not trapped, Eve. You're hiding. You know the second you step out that door, the second you don't have these symbols keeping you invisible to the partners, they're gonna zero in.
(walks closer to Eve)
So don't bother playing the pity angle. The only thing you care about is saving your own ass.
EVE
The only thing I care about is gone. You gave him up to the senior partners, let them suck him into—
ANGEL
Could do the same to you. Tell 'em how to see through your security system.
EVE
You wouldn't—
ANGEL
Not if you tell me what I want to know.
The house starts shaking as a deep rumbling sound is heard somewhere outside the door.
EVE
Oh, you bastard! You told them! You—
ANGEL
Wasn't me.
EVE
Oh, God. They're coming.
(crash, glass shattering)
Please, don't let them take me. Angel, please, I'll tell you. I'll tell you anything you want to know.
Angel looks at Eve, then looks at the front door as the doorknob rattles. A man wearing a fine, tailored gray pinstriped suit with a white silk tie and a white shirt busts through the door. He looks around the apartment, but Eve and the vampires are gone. There's an open window creaking at the back of the apartment. The man stares at it, frowning.
Fade to black.
Opening credits.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACT I:
3 INT. CARITAS - NIGHT
In a bar crowded with demons, a demon bartender sings poorly. Zooming into the corner, the camera reveals Lorne is sitting alone at the bar listening to the bartender's song.
BARTENDER
(singing off-key)
Lady your love's the only love I need and beside me is where I want you to be
(voice cracks)
Your my lady—
(talking)
She's gonna say no, isn't she? I should've gotten a bigger ring.
LORNE
(blasé)
A June wedding. There's rain, so get a tent.
BARTENDER
She's gonna say yes?
LORNE
(monotonous)
Ain't love grand?
BARTENDER
(excited)
I'm getting hitched?
LORNE
Yeah.
(holds up his cocktail glass as the bartender refills it)
More sea, less breeze, huh?
BARTENDER
(pouring)
From now on, your money's no good here.
LORNE
All right.
BARTENDER
I was wondering, about the possibility of a Carlos Junior? What do you think?
(smiles widely)
LORNE
What do I think? I think I'm tired. I think I'm sick and tired of wearing bells on my toes and making like everything's gonna be OK. I think it's pathetic that lately I'm too scared and sad to tell people the truth so I just say what they wanna hear instead. Most of all, I think the term "Happy Hour" should be banned from the English language. There's nothing happy about this hour or any other.
BARTENDER
(shrugs)
Oh.
LORNE
What I know is I started drinking the moment that I found out that a girl I loved was gonna die. Every time I get to the bottom of the glass, I hope that that last drop is gonna take me the distance.
(sips)
BARTENDER
(raises his eyebrows and nods while busying himself with tidying the bar)
OK.
LORNE
A simple plan that failed utterly, which is why I'm gonna heave my tuchis off this stool, strap the bells on, and with a smile and a quip, go back into the belly of a very ugly beast and pretend like I can help. Hmm. 'Cause that's what the green guy does.
(pays the bartender and exits)
Cut to:
4 INT. LOBBY - NIGHT
Angel steps off the elevator into the lobby followed by Spike and Eve.
ANGEL
Harmony!
HARMONY
Yepper?
ANGEL
Call security, put 'em on red alert. Nobody gets in this building without clearance from me. I want a guard at every entrance, every elevator, every stairwell. Cover the whole building.
HARMONY
(shrugs)
OK, but you know how that never works—
ANGEL
(irritated)
Harmony!
HARMONY
On it.
(goes to her desk)
ANGEL
All right, stay with Eve. Anything gets past security, kill it.
SPIKE
Where are you going?
Spike and Eve walk into Angel's office.
ANGEL
To see my lawyer.
Cut to:
5 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT
Gunn is sitting in a hospital gown in a hospital bed when Angel walks into the room.
ANGEL
We have a problem. Senior partners found Eve. They sent something to take her out. I need to know if I have jurisdiction to protect her. What's protocol here?
GUNN
(closes a magazine, hangs his head)
I don't know.
ANGEL
Right. Well, when you're through reading about important things like, um...
(picks up the magazine, reads the headlines)
"Trista and Ryan's big baby plans" maybe you can put some thought into it.
GUNN
(looks away)
I'm just not sure—
ANGEL
Gunn, you paid a high price for what's in that brain, so use it.
GUNN
(looks at Angel, sighs, looks down)
There's a proviso in your contract. Says that as CEO of a Wolfram & Hart branch, you can invoke a rapio salvus order. Basically says you're taking custody of a wayward employee. It's not usually used for protection, but it should work.
ANGEL
Great. How do I—
GUNN
I'll make a call.
ANGEL
Good.
(starts to walk out, but stops at the door)
Listen, Gunn... I know you feel bad about your part in what happened to Fred. And you should. For the rest of your life, it should wake you up in the middle of the night. And it will...because you're a good man. You signed a piece of paper, that's all.
GUNN
But I knew. Not about Fred, but... when I signed, I knew there would be consequences.
ANGEL
You know, the thing about atonement is, you never run out of chances... but you gotta take 'em. You can't hide in some hospital room and pretend it's all gonna go away... 'cause it never will.
Gunn stares thoughtfully.
Cut to:
6 INT. FRED'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Wesley stares ahead when he hears Fred's voice behind him.
FRED
You have a visitor.
WESLEY
(turns slightly)
I thought I was in isolation.
FRED
(kisses his neck from behind him)
Whose fault is that?
(walks around to kneel in front of him)
Tell me a joke.
WESLEY
(softly)
2 men walk into a bar. The first man orders a scotch and soda. The second man remembers something he'd forgotten, and it doubles him over with pain. He falls to the floor shaking... and then through the floor and into the Earth. He looks back up at the first man, but he doesn't call out to him.
(looks down at Fred)
They're not that close.
FRED
Yeah. You always know where you are.
WESLEY
It's my particular skill.
FRED
(crawls into his lap, looks into his eyes)
This is only the first layer. Don't you wanna see how deep I go?
Cut to:
7 INT. FRED'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Wesley gasps as he wakes from his dream. He's sitting alone in a chair in the dark. Illyria speaks from somewhere behind him.
ILLYRIA
You've been sitting for a long time.
WESLEY
Yeah. Dozed off.
ILLYRIA
You drank a great deal of that poison.
(Wesley holds his hand to his head, rubbing his eyes, pained)
You called me a lot of names meant to hurt feelings I no longer have, and then you sat there for hours making noise with your nose.
WESLEY
I was dreaming, you twit.
ILLYRIA
You said her name. Fred.
WESLEY
It was a nightmare.
(swigs from a highball glass)
I don't suppose you have nightmares... or sleep or any of that human crap.
ILLYRIA
In my time, nightmares walked among us, walked and danced, skewering victims in plain sight, laying their fears and worst desires out for everyone to see. This...to make us laugh.
WESLEY
I'll bet you were jolly as frat boys.
ILLYRIA
And now nightmares are trapped inside the heads of humans... pitiful echoes of themselves. I wonder whom they angered so to merit such a fate.
WESLEY
(deadpan)
This world must be a terrible disappointment to you.
ILLYRIA
Grievous.
WESLEY
I'm not too impressed with it myself.
(takes another swig of whiskey)
ILLYRIA
Why don't you leave?
Cut to:
8 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Eve and Spike wait in Angel's office.
EVE
Brilliant. Really. They'll never look for me here.
(Spike rolls his eyes)
I'm gonna die.
SPIKE
You make it hard for me to want to help you.
(shakes his head)
ANGEL
(walks into the office)
We don't want to help her. But...we will. You're under my protection.
EVE
Thank the gods.
(steps back as Angel approaches)
ANGEL
But, you know, I can take it away with one phone call. Convince me not to, Eve.
EVE
(sits in a chair between Angel and Spike as they glare at her)
How can I?
ANGEL
Let's start with something easy, huh? You.
EVE
Me?
ANGEL
What are you? What do you do for the senior partners?
EVE
I'm a liaison. I liaise.
(Angel and Spike cross their arms disapprovingly)
Look, what do you want me to say? I'm a leprechaun. I'm from Brigadoon.
SPIKE
(rolls his eyes)
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one.
EVE
(stands)
There are layers upon layers at Wolfram & Hart, Angel, things you'll never understand. What am I? I'm a child of the senior partners, created to do their bidding.
ANGEL
You're an immortal. Why are you here?
EVE
To watch. Tell them what I see. Pass on messages to you, if there are any.
SPIKE
So you're, uh, middle management?
ANGEL
What are the senior partners, huh? What do they—
EVE
(shakes head)
No idea.
ANGEL
Eve.
EVE
Do you honestly believe the senior partners would let me have access to that information? Angel, for someone so old, you're so young. I only know what they want me to know and only when they want me to know it.
ANGEL
You don't know anything?
EVE
Maybe.
(shrugs)
Maybe I know a lot... but I don't have access to it.
(Angel and Spike pace, annoyed)
It's locked in my head somewhere, and I don't have the key.
(Angel and Spike sit down on opposite sides of the room, sighing)
Ready for the funny part?
(to Angel)
There was someone who could've told you everything you want to know... and you let the senior partners take him away.
ANGEL
Lindsey.
EVE
Lindsey's dedicated years of his life to the study of the senior partners. No one knows more about them than he does— what they've done, what they plan to do.
ANGEL
(stands, frowns)
I thought he was after me. You're saying bringing Spike back, the fail-safe, that was all about the senior partners?
EVE
No. It's about you, too. He really doesn't like you... but he may know more about you than... well, than you do.
ANGEL
Which is why they snatched him up.
SPIKE
Yeah. They couldn't risk him and you having a sit-down.
EVE
And now...what he's going through.
ANGEL
They didn't kill him?
EVE
They would want him to suffer horrors. Lindsey is in some hideous...awful hell.
Cut to:
9 INT. LINDSEY'S BEDROOM - DAY
Cut to Lindsey lying in a bed of luxurious red patterned sheets, kissing a blonde woman.
LINDSEY
Good morning.
WIFE
Mmm. So far.
(Lindsey kisses her forehead and cuddles close to her)
CHILD
(jumps into bed in-between them)
Stop it! That's how I get sisters.
(parents giggle)
LINDSEY
Oh, really?
(rubs the child's head affectionately)
Is that right?
(looks at his wife, smiles)
So... what are we gonna do today?
Fade to black.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACT II:
10 EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
Orchestral music plays over a scene of Lindsey walking out of his front door smiling. The house is a nice suburban house and it's a beautiful sunny day with clear blue skies. As Lindsey collects the newspaper from the driveway, the view changes, showing that the street is lined with identical houses, and a man from every house is going to collect the paper at exactly the same time. Lindsey walks back to the house and bends to pick up a skateboard from the sidewalk on his way. He walks inside and closes the door.
Cut to:
11 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Spike paces, ranting, while Lorne, Eve, and Angel look on.
SPIKE
There's thousands of different kinds of hells. You got your fire hell, your ice hell... your...
(pauses to think)
ice hell. Your upside-down hell.
ANGEL
(rubs his head)
I don't care if he's in "toy poodles on parade" hell. He's got information that we need.
SPIKE
According to the girl whose only reason for being is to see her little pookie bear again.
EVE
I'm not lying.
(to Lorne) Well, tell him I'm not lying.
LORNE
No one can fake it through the piña colada song. Not once the chorus kicks in.
ANGEL
(stands)
If Lindsey can tell me what the senior partners have planned, I want him. You got a better idea how to do it, I'm totally open.
SPIKE
Didn't say that. Just pointed out that this one sucks. We're looking for a hell dimension in a haystack. How are we supposed to know—
GUNN
(walks into the office)
I know. And I can get us in.
Gunn's wearing street clothes, not his usual business suit. His head's shaven. He looks more like the pre-W&H Gunn of yore.
ANGEL
Us?
Cut to:
12 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
Lindsey is helping his son study for a test while the wife is tidying the kitchen.
LINDSEY
OK, from the top. The earth's outer layer is called...
CHILD
The crust.
LINDSEY
And what's underneath that?
CHILD
Mmm...the mantle?
LINDSEY
Yup. And under that? Come on. You know this one.
CHILD
The outer core.
LINDSEY
(snaps his fingers)
And under that?
CHILD
The inner core.
LINDSEY
And under that?
CHILD
Underneath that... nothing.
LINDSEY
Just the soft, chewy center.
CHILD
Ha ha!
WIFE
Hey, hon.
(Lindsey looks over at her)
Oven light just went out. I need a bulb from the cellar.
LINDSEY
(looks away)
There should be some in the hall closet.
WIFE
Just regular ones. Little ones are downstairs.
LINDSEY
(acts nervous, looks at his child)
Well, Zach, uh, Zach was getting ready to fill me in on the lithosphere.
WIFE
(walks over to Lindsey, puts her hand on his shoulder insistently)
I kinda need it now.
LINDSEY
(hesitates, casts a nervous glance)
All right. I'll be right back.
Lindsey stands and walks toward the cellar door, focusing on the doorknob. He puts his hand on the doorknob and hesitates, turning to look at his wife again. She's watching him with a smile.
WIFE
They're on that shelf, where we keep those thingies.
Lindsey opens the door and turns to look at her again. She walks up beside the child and smiles, never taking her eyes off of Lindsey. Lindsey gathers his courage and goes through the door. He descends the steps into the dark cellar cautiously, holding onto the rail and peering around the corner with every step he progresses downward.
Cut to:
13 INT. WOLFRAM & HART CORPORATE GARAGE - NIGHT
Gunn leads Angel and Spike into the garage, chatting. Angel and Spike are flanking him.
GUNN
Started flipping through the brain files soon as Harmony told me. Figured there had to be some kind of precedent.
ANGEL
And?
GUNN
Senior partners had trouble with a guy in the Tokyo division way back. Lindsey probably got the tattoo idea from studying up on him.
ANGEL
And wherever they sent this guy, that's where Lindsey is.
GUNN
Yep.
SPIKE
I hope it's toy poodle hell. I've had my fill of fire.
GUNN
It's not hell. It's a Wolfram & Hart holding dimension.
ANGEL
(chuckles)
Meaning what—senior partners haven't decided what to do with Lindsey?
GUNN
Their version of a penalty box.
ANGEL
Great. So... how we supposed to get there?
GUNN
Ever taken the Camaro?
(tosses the keys to Angel)
They stop walking as they approach the classic Camaro painted shiny cobalt blue.
Cut to:
14 INT. CAMARO - NIGHT
Angel's in the driver's seat, but he's not steering. The car is driving itself. Gunn is riding shotgun, and Spike's sitting behind Angel.
ANGEL
This is weirding me out. Is this weirding you out?
SPIKE
(sticks his head between the front seats)
What, you never heard of Knight Rider?
(looks at Angel, at Gunn)
The Knight Industries 2000? K.I.T.T.?
(shakes his head)
Never mind.
GUNN
Car's built to get us there. Once we have Lindsey, it's on us to find the Wrath.
SPIKE
The Wrath?! You know that's gonna be a giggle.
GUNN
Whatever it is, we got to go through it to get out.
ANGEL
I've never seen these streets before.
GUNN
Where we going— not in the Thomas Guide.
SPIKE
(sighs, resigned)
There's gonna be fire.
The Camaro heads through the dark night into a tunnel carved into a hillside.
Cut to:
15 INT. CAMARO - DAY
When the Camaro emerges from the other end of the tunnel, it's a beautiful, sunny day with clear blue skies. The look out the window to find themselves in Lindsey's suburban neighborhood.
SPIKE
This isn't hell. It's the 'burbs. Close enough.
ANGEL
This is Lindsey's punishment? For trying to kill me? Hunh! Maybe it's a reward.
Cut to:
16 INT. FRED'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Wesley and Illyria continue their conversation in the dark room.
WESLEY
(standing, excited)
You could go anywhere, you could leave.
ILLYRIA
That's not possible.
WESLEY
Of course it's possible. Are you telling me the great Illyria, idol of millions, was limited to one small dimension?
ILLYRIA
I traveled all of them as I pleased. I walked worlds of smoke and half-truths, intangible.
(turns away)
Worlds of torment and of unnamable beauty.
(looks into the mirror, Wesley's reflection over her shoulder)
Opaline towers as high as small moons. Glaciers that rippled with insensate lust. And one world with nothing but shrimp. I tired of that one quickly.
WESLEY
Then why stay in this world? Surely there's a world more appealing, maybe not the shrimp one, but one where you'd be welcome like you never will be here. Why don't you go? You can go. Why don't you go?
Illyria snaps, grabbing Wesley by the throat and staring at him angrily. She lets him go, tossing him aside as she starts gasping for air.
ILLYRIA
(breathing hard)
It's too small. It's too small. I can't breathe.
(pacing, panicked, in a circle)
I can't live with these walls. I can't breathe. There's no room for anything real.
WESLEY
It's all right.
ILLYRIA
(glares at Wesley)
I should gut you where you stand. You challenged me. There's not enough space to open my jaws. My face is not my face. I don't know what it will say.
(panting)
WESLEY
Illyria... come with me.
Illyria starts to calm down and her panting slows.
Cut to:
17 EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
Exactly the same as the previous day, orchestral music plays over a scene of Lindsey walking out of his front door smiling. The house is a nice suburban house and it's a beautiful sunny day with clear blue skies. As Lindsey collects the newspaper from the driveway, the view changes, showing that the street is lined with identical houses, and a man from every house is going to collect the paper at exactly the same time. Lindsey walks back to the house and bends to pick up a skateboard from the sidewalk on his way. He walks inside and closes the door.
The music changes to a more ominous tone as the blue Camaro drives down the street, stopping in front of Lindsey's house.
SPIKE
(looks out the car window at the sunny front lawn between the car and Lindsey's front door)
Oh, so we just open with being on fire. That's great.
ANGEL
Yeah. We can put our coats over our heads and make a run for it.
Gunn opens the car door, and the vampires react instantly, recoiling with fright, putting their hands to their faces trying to shield themselves from the sunlight pouring in through Gunn's open car door.
ANGEL & SPIKE
(simultaneously)
Aah!
The vampires realize they aren't on fire after all, and Gunn gives them a matter-of-fact look.
GUNN
Alternate dimension, remember? Sun's the non-frying variety.
SPIKE
I figured that.
ANGEL
Oh, right.
GUNN
Can we go?
ANGEL
Yeah.
(gets out of the car; they all 3 walk to the front door)
Grab Lindsey and we get out.
GUNN
Kill everything in our way.
SPIKE
What's going to be in our way, the family mutt?
GUNN
This is Wolfram & Hart.
(Spike presses the doorbell, which chimes)
Odds are there's something ugly behind that door.
WIFE
(opens the door, smiles)
Can I help you?
ANGEL
(straightens up, surprised, looks at Spike, then back at the woman, stammering)
Uh, is Lindsey home?
WIFE
(nods, smiles)
Sure. Come on in.
Cut to:
18 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
Angel, Spike and Gunn follow the wife into the house.
WIFE
Honey? There's coffee.
ANGEL
No. We're fine. Thanks.
Gunn closes the door behind them.
LINDSEY
(coming down the steps)
Zach's hockey stick's gone missing. Oh. I didn't realize we had company.
WIFE
I'll do search and rescue.
(walks away)
LINDSEY
OK.
(to the gang) How can I help you guys?
SPIKE
Cut the act, Ward. June's gone.
LINDSEY
'scuse me?
ANGEL
You don't know who we are?
LINDSEY
(shakes his head)
No. Do you play in the league?
ANGEL
No, um...I'm Angel. This is Spike and Gunn.
GUNN
You might want to have a seat.
LINDSEY
(smiles)
OK.
(gestures to seats for the gang)
Please. Is this about the free vacation I entered to win?
(claps his hands once gleefully, sits on the couch)
GUNN
Does the name Wolfram & Hart mean anything to you? It's a law firm. You used to work there.
LINDSEY
All right, Gunn, is it? Yeah. Now, the only lawyer I know is the one who fixes my speeding tickets.
(chuckles)
ANGEL
Well, that guy, he's not real.
(sits)
None of this is. You're under some spell.
LINDSEY
What?
SPIKE
Nuts and bolts, you're in hell. We've come to break you out.
LINDSEY
All right. Who put you up to this? Was it Fisher?
GUNN
There's no joke. You're in a mystical holding cell, an alternate reality.
LINDSEY
So Trish is not my wife and Zach's not my son?
SPIKE
Now he's gettin' it. Ever heard of something called the Wrath?
LINDSEY
(sits back, smiling)
Seriously, is Fisher outside?
(stands, looks out the window laughing)
ANGEL
Lindsey, this whole life is a lie.
LINDSEY
(turns to face Angel, no longer laughing)
All right. This is starting to get a little less funny. I think you guys should leave.
Cut to:
19 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Eve is agitated and pacing while Lorne and Harmony keep her company in Angel's office.
EVE
What is taking so long? They should be back by now.
HARMONY
It's really hard to get a firm E.T.A. on alternate dimension travel. I've tried.
EVE
I just want him back, and I don't want to die.
LORNE
Oh, calm down, chicken little. Nobody can lay a finger on you without Angel's permission.
HARMONY
Yeah. I got strict instructions. No torture. You're totally safe.
EVE
You don't get it. So stupid legal order isn't going to matter. The senior partners—
LORNE
Nobody can darken our bullet-proof doors, not without our fearless leader's say-so. This place is a fortress.
(the security alarm starts ringing)
HARMONY
Uh-oh.
LORNE
(nervously, to Eve)
This thing coming after you, how bad on a scale of, say, one to Terminator?
(the alarm continues ringing)
The same man who busted into Eve's apartment walks off the elevator into the lobby area. He's looking around, walking forward with determination.
EVE
(starting to cry)
Oh, god. He's here.
HARMONY
(with arms crossed, smirks)
That's the guy? He's just a suit.
GUARD
(rushes toward the man, pulling out his gun)
Hey, you, stop! Put your hands up!
The security guard makes a final grunt as the man punches him so hard through the stomach that the man's hand comes out of the guard's back, covered in blood. The guard falls to the ground. Eve, Lorne, and Harmony scream in terror as they watch through the window in Angel's office.
Cut to:
20 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
Angel, Spike and Gunn resume their conversation with Lindsey in his living room.
ANGEL
(sighs, stands)
I can't believe I'm saying this, but we're here to help.
LINDSEY
(points, agitated)
OK. Get out. Now.
ANGEL
(grabs Lindsey by the collar)
Look, we're telling you the truth. You don't want to believe it, that's your choice. Either way, you're coming with us.
LINDSEY
Get off of me!
ANGEL
(glances at Lindsey's necklace between Angel's fistfulls of Lindsey's shirt collar)
Maybe this will help you make up your mind.
(rips the necklace off of Lindsey)
Lindsey collapses to the floor in a heap. He comes to and tries to sit up when he notices Angel standing there, wearing a dagger on his belt.
LINDSEY
(nervously)
Angel. Make it quick.
ANGEL
If I was gonna kill you, it wouldn't be quick.
(rolls his eyes, pulls Lindsey to his feet by his collar)
Gunn glances at the discarded necklace on the floor, when Lindsey's "wife" walks into the kitchen, smiling.
SPIKE
Oh! Hi. Your hubby was just showing us a thing...
The wife lifts up her arms to reveal she's carrying a machine gun. She points it at the gang and starts shooting.
Fade to black.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACT III:
21 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
Resume. The wife is shooting at Angel, Spike, Gunn, and Lindsey with a machine gun, sending a rapid and continuous stream of bullets their way. Spike and Gunn duck behind the couch, while Angel has to pull Lindsey to safety because he was just standing there mired in confusion.
SPIKE
(yelling over the gunfire to Lindsey)
Seems your wife's a little moody.
ANGEL
(to Spike)
Get Lindsey to the car! Go! Now!
Angel rushes the wife, serving as a shield for the others behind him as they try to escape. Gunn grabs Lindsey up and together with Spike, carries him out through the front door. The wife continues shooting, but Angel gets close enough to rush her. He nearly knocks the gun from her hand, but she punches him, knocking him down, then starts beating Angel in the head with the butt of the gun.
Cut to:
22 EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
As he and Gunn escort Lindsey out of the house, Spike stops in his tracks when he notices that the Camaro is no longer parked on the street in front of the house.
SPIKE
Didn't we have a car?
As they stand there stupefied, an ice cream truck pulls up in front of the house, and the driver starts shooting a machine gun at them from the street. Spike shields Lindsey and Gunn, taking the bullets in his back as he pushes them into the house. The mail carrier also joins in the firefight, shooting at the gang with a handgun in each hand.
Cut to:
23 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
Lindsey trips and falls to the ground as Gunn and Spike shove him out of the firefight outside back into the house. Angel is still fighting the wife, but appears to have the upper hand now, as he is punching her repeatedly in the face, ultimately knocking her down.
SPIKE
(to Angel)
Hey, our bloody ride's gone.
GUNN
(sees the boy Zach creeping down the stairs holding a machine gun)
Get down!
(the boy starts shooting and the gang hides behind the couch again)
We've got to find the Wrath. Where's the Wrath?
SPIKE
Where's not the Wrath? The Wrath's all over!
ANGEL
Lindsey, think. Do you know where it is?
LINDSEY
I don't know. I don't know!
GUNN
There's a door by the kitchen. Might be a way out, through the cellar.
LINDSEY
No! We can't go down there, not the cellar!
SPIKE
Cellar it is, then.
GUNN
Guessin' we found the Wrath.
LINDSEY
No! Please, don't!
Angel and Spike turn over the couch and push it forward into the boy, giving them a reprieve from the gunfire as they head for the cellar door. The gang goes through the door and down the steps into the cellar.
LINDSEY
(hesitates on the steps, afraid)
We're all gonna die.
ANGEL
Not today.
LINDSEY
Every day.
They continue their descent.
Cut to:
24 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
The man in the suit pursuing Eve enters Angel's office through the double-doors and looks around. Eve and Lorne are standing together.
EVE
(to Lorne while backing away from the man)
Don't let me die.
Harmony jumps out from behind the door, grabbing the man around his throat. She groans as she tries to break his neck, but isn't strong enough. The man seems more annoyed than hurt by her attack.
HARMONY
Run already!
(Eve and Lorne head to the private elevator)
The man frowns and grabs Harmony's arm, flinging her across the room where she crashes into Angel's desk and falls to the floor. The man starts walking toward Eve and Lorne in the elevator.
EVE
Close the door!
LORNE
(rapidly pressing the button over and over)
I'm not doin' the polka, beanpole. What do you think I'm—
The elevator doors close just as the man gets close.
Cut to:
25 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
The gang has descended the stairs into the cellar, and everyone's having a look around. It looks like a torture dungeon, and it lit by candles.
SPIKE
Holy!
GUNN
Nothing holy here.
SPIKE
(walks up to a pile of a hundred or so bloody organs on the floor, picks one up)
A heart? Whose are these?
LINDSEY
Mine.
SPIKE
(quickly drops the heart back into the pile)
Oh.
(backs away)
ANGEL
Try to find the door, some way out.
SPIKE
With pleasure. The faster we get out of here, the better.
Angel heads right, Spike left. Gunn stares at the pile of hearts on the floor.
SPIKE
(pausing to look at chains and manacles on a post)
Somebody has fun with these.
ANGEL
(opens a creaking door)
Spike.
(reveals a huge flaming furnace behind the door)
SPIKE
The Wrath?
(walks toward Angel)
ANGEL
Could be.
(stands to the left of the fire)
SPIKE
(looking at the fire)
What did I tell you?
(stands to the right of the fire)
GUNN
The lock's mystical.
ANGEL
Well, how do we—
LINDSEY
He's coming.
SPIKE
Who?
LINDSEY
He knows. He always knows.
SPIKE
Who?
ANGEL
(notices a demon approaching, his chains rattling)
Him. Gunn, guard Lindsey!
Gunn takes Lindsey out of the way, while Angel and Spike face off with the demon. A fight ensues with Spike swinging a pipe at the demon, Angel using his dagger. Eventually, after much punching and kicking each other across the room, the vamped-out vampires overpower the demon by using his own torture devices.
ANGEL
(gesturing to the fire)
Come on.
(Gunn puts Lindsey's necklace on)
Gunn, no! What the hell are you doing?
GUNN
What needs to be done.
ANGEL
I'm not leaving you here.
GUNN
You don't make the rules here. Wolfram & Hart does. If one leaves, one has to stay. A void is impossible.
The gate in front of the fire opens.
ANGEL
You knew.
GUNN
That thing about atonement.
ANGEL
Gunn...
(to the others)
Let's go.
SPIKKE
You are not bloody serious!
GUNN
When I forget, the door closes. Go. You have to.
Angel and Spike lead Lindsey into the fire.
GUNN
This is where...I was... I...
(the gate in front of the fire closes)
I belong. I was— What was I doing? Why am I down here?
WIFE / TRISH (O.S.)
Honey, what are you doing down there?
GUNN
(at the bottom of the stairs)
I don't know. Must be losing my mind.
Cut to:
26 INT. WOLFRAM & HART CORPORATE GARAGE - NIGHT
Frantic, Lorne and Eve rush off the elevator into Angel's private garage.
LORNE
We'll head up the coast to Canada.
EVE
Keys.
LORNE
(looks through the wall-mounted key storage box)
Uh...
EVE
Come on.
LORNE
(randomly picks a set of keys)
Um...um...
(presses the remote keyless entry, a car alarm chirps)
Oh...
(alarm chirps repeatedly as Lorne and Eve search for which car the keys belong to)
Holy motor pool!
(chirp, chirp, chirp)
EVE
(sees the lights of one car flash as Lorne presses the button)
There! Hurry!
(runs toward the car)
LORNE
(runs after her)
What do you call this?
(they both get in the car)
You'll like Canada. Lots of deserters.
EVE
Go!
As Lorne puts the car in gear and starts driving out, a bright light appears above them as a portal opens up, dropping Lindsey, Spike and Angel onto the car. Lorne screeches to a halt.
LORNE
What the daisy?!
(gets out of the car)
SPIKE
(getting to his feet in a panic)
I'm on fire!
(realizes he's not on fire)
Oh, never mind.
EVE
(jumps out of the car)
Lindsey!
(hugs him)
What did they do to you?
ANGEL
He'll be fine.
SPIKE
Whereas we got shot and almost killed by a juiced-up S&M demon. Thanks or asking.
ANGEL
Let's get upstairs.
Angel and Spike flank Lindsey, each supporting one of his shoulders as they carry him toward the elevator.
EVE
Be careful. He's hurt.
LORNE
(following after them, urgently)
Uh, Angel, you should know there's a very tall, well-dressed, uh—
(looks around, panicked)
Where's Gunn? Angel?
ANGEL
He, uh— he stayed behind.
LORNE
Stayed behind? But you never leave a—
(Angel and Spike won't look him in the eyes)
(tries to shake it off)
or...I guess we do. That's what we do now.
There's a thumping on the stairwell door.
EVE
Oh, god!
LORNE
Like I was saying.
The man pursuing Eve punches the door off its hinges, sending it flying into the garage. When the dust settles, the man walks out into the garage and approaches Angel and crew.
ANGEL
(staring at the man)
Damn... he is well-dressed.
Fade to black.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACT IV:
27 INT. WOLFRAM & HART CORPORATE GARAGE - NIGHT
Resume. The well-dressed man is approaching Angel and gang in the garage.
EVE
(backing away)
Please, don't do this.
ANGEL
(walks toward the man, inadvertently letting go of Lindsey, who falls to the ground)
Eve's under my protection. You can't touch her.
The man stands his ground, and reaches into his vest pocket to pull out a pen.
SPIKE
Whoa. Didn't see that coming.
WELL-DRESSED MAN
You know how it works, Eve.
EVE
You could talk to the senior partners. Tell them it's a mistake.
WELL-DRESSED MAN
That's impossible.
(reaches into his other vest pocket)
ANGEL
I said back off.
EVE
(the man pulls out a contract from his vest pocket, and unfolds it for Eve)
Don't bother, Angel. It's over.
WELL-DRESSED MAN
(hands her the pen, points to the contract)
Sign here.
(she signs)
Good girl.
ANGEL
(looks around)
What the hell's going on?
WELL-DRESSED MAN
Oh, sorry for the intrusion. I'm Marcus Hamilton, your new liaison to the senior partners.
(to Eve) And here.
(points to the contract)
ANGEL
You're what?
WELL-DRESSED MAN / HAMILTON
Along with her immortality and certain other privileges, Eve has signed over her duties to me.
(flips to the back page)
Oh, and initial there.
(points to the contract, Eve signs)
ANGEL
This is about a contract? I thought you said you were gonna die.
EVE
And now one day I will.
HAMILTON
The senior partners felt it was time for a change. Eve was too easily distracted. Lost sight of the big picture.
EVE
I fell in love.
HAMILTON
Yes. Congratulations.
(Eve walks away)
Wonderful escape, by the way. Very clever. We'll be in touch. Oh, I have some excellent ideas I can't wait to share.
ANGEL
(gets up in Hamilton's face)
This is my house. The only ideas that matter are mine.
HAMILTON
(smiling, chipper)
Absolutely. That's the policy. The senior partners are behind you 100%.
ANGEL
I doubt that.
HAMILTON
I'm looking forward to working myself into the mix. Angel, Spike...
(opens his arms in a welcoming gesture)
Welcome to the team.
(walks away)
LORNE
(nervous chuckle)
Well, he's not so bad.
Cut to:
28 EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT
Illyria and Wesley are standing on the rooftop. She's got her head leaned all the way back, staring skyward.
WESLEY
Are you all right?
ILLYRIA
I breathe easier.
WESLEY
The walls don't press in as hard when you can't see them.
ILLYRIA
But they're still here.
WESLEY
Yes.
ILLYRIA
All I am is what I am. I lived 7 lives at once. I was power and the ecstasy of death. I was god to a god.
(looks down)
Now... I—I'm trapped... on a roof. Just one roof... in this time and this place, with an unstable human who drinks too much whiskey and called me a Smurf.
(Wesley chuckles)
You don't worship me at all, do you?
WESLEY
And you really can't leave.
ILLYRIA
I... don't know.
(looks up)
And I fear in any other dimension in this form I'd be but prey to those I knew.
(hangs her head)
I reek of humanity.
WESLEY
Don't flatter yourself.
ILLYRIA
(looking over the skyline)
Your world is so small. And yet you box yourselves in rooms even smaller. You shut yourselves inside... in rooms, in routines.
WESLEY
There are things worse than walls. Terrible... and beautiful. If we look at them for too long they will burn right through us. Truths we couldn't bear. Not every day.
ILLYRIA
(sighs)
We are so weak.
WESLEY
Yes. Yes, we are.
Cut to:
29 INT. ANGEL'S PENTHOUSE - NIGHT
Lorne is using some hefty tweezers to pull bullets out of Spike's back. He drops one into a bowl nearby and proceeds to dig out another.
SPIKE
Ouch! Take it easy, green jeans!
LORNE
Yes. 'Fraid I don't have Fredikin's gentle touch.
SPIKE
Just get on with it.
Lindsey and Eve are sitting side-by-side on the couch; Lindsey's leaning on Eve's shoulder. He looks up when Angel walks in after changing clothes.
LINDSEY
Oh, look. It's the hero of the hour.
ANGEL
I'm not your hero. I'm your warden.
LINDSEY
It's all how you look at the glass.
ANGEL
I thought a few months of torture at the hands of the senior partners would have dug a little deeper.
LINDSEY
Just scratched the surface. Turns out they can only undo you as far as you think you deserve to be undone. I wonder how Gunn's gonna make out.
ANGEL
The senior partners want to know everything you know about them. About the apocalypse, about their plans for me.
SPIKE
(standing, dressing)
And for me. The guy with the pen said, "welcome to the team." Must've meant something.
LINDSEY
You know what I know. Look around. The world's a cesspool... full of selfish and greedy beasts. We live, we die. Even you, babe.
EVE
(hurt)
Lindsey, don't.
LINDSEY
You still happy to see me?
ANGEL
Yeah, hell's on earth. Holland manners tried to sell me that line 3 years ago.
LINDSEY
Did you ever prove him wrong?
ANGEL
All how you look at the glass. You know, Lindsey, we can philosophize all night. Hell...
(chuckles)
We could do it forever, huh? I don't need to eat, sleep, drink.
(sits)
How about you?
LINDSEY
(grins)
That's what I like to see... the Angel of yore. Takes no prisoners, suffers no fools. How 'bout this? It's here. It's been here all along. Underneath. You're just too damn stupid to see it.
ANGEL
(leans forward)
See what?
LINDSEY
The apocalypse, man. You're soaking in it.
SPIKE
I've seen an apocalypse or two in my time. I'd know I one was under my nose.
LINDSEY
Not an apocalypse. The apocalypse. What'd you think, a gong was gonna sound? Time to jump on your horses and fight the big fight? Starting pistol went off a long time ago, boys. You're playing for the bad guys. Every day you sit behind your desk and you learn a little more how to accept the world the way it is. Well, here's the rub... heroes don't do that. Heroes don't accept the world the way it is. They fight it.
ANGEL
(sits back)
You're saying everything we do... it's a distraction... to keep us busy from looking under the surface.
LINDSEY
(snaps fingers)
Ding! We have a winner! The world keeps sliding towards entropy and degradation, and what do you do? You sit in your big chair, and you sign your checks, just like the senior partners planned. The war's here, Angel. And you're already 2 soldiers down.
Cut to:
30 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
Gunn is helping the boy study for a test while the wife is tidying the kitchen.
GUNN
Come on, you know this on
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