2x05 - Venomous

Jackson: More.

Danny: Okay.

Jackson: No, I said don't help me!

Danny: Don't help you as in don't spot you, or don't help you as in let the bar crush your throat?

Jackson: I should be able to do twice that.

Danny: On the the moon - maybe. I'm hitting the shower. If I come back and you're lying dead underneath a pile of weight, I'm taking the Porsche.

Jackson: Thanks.

Erica: Any time.

Derek: What happened to you on the night of the full moon?

Jackson: What? Nothing. Nothing happened.

Derek: You're lying.

Jackson: No, wait. No, wait, I can - I can prove it. I taped myself.

Isaac: You taped yourself?

Jackson: Yes. It was the full moon. And maybe while you were curled in the corner having an existential crisis about turning into a monster, I was preparing for the so - called gift your big, bad Alpha promised me, and what did I get? Nothing. You want proof? Let me get the video.

Derek: No. No, I have a better idea.

Jackson: What is that?

Derek: You know, Jackson, you've always been kind of a snake - And everyone knows a snake can't be poisoned by its own venom.

Derek: You're still a snake, Jackson, just not the one we're looking for.

Isaac: You're still gonna have to do one more thing for us. Well, actually, for me.

Sheriff: So now you're telling me that you didn't see Isaac and his father arguing before the murder?

Jackson: Not exactly.

Sheriff: Not exactly - or no? Because when it comes to law, there's a fairly large divide between not exactly and no. Like, if "not exactly" were sitting in this chair, then "no" would be somewhere in the middle of the pacific ocean, drowning next to my career. So what's it gonna be, huh? Not exactly or no?

Jackson: No.

Sheriff: Ah, crap.

Stiles: Dude, I just talked to my dad, who just talked to Jackson, and I've got really terrible, horrible, very, very bad news.

Scott: I think I already know.

Stiles: All right, I only found one thing online called a kanima. It's a werejaguar from South America that goes after murderers.

Scott: That thing was not a jaguar.

Stiles: Yeah, and I'm not exactly a murderer.

Scott: Yeah, but you did see it kill somebody, which is probably why it tried to kill you. And it's still trying to kill you, and it probably won't stop until you're dead.

Stiles: You know, sometimes I really begin to question this "friendship."

Danny: It took forever, but I found a program that can recover your video. I'll run it in my free period this afternoon.

Jackson: Yeah, just let me know when it's done.

Erica: So Derek wants this done during chemistry?

Isaac: Yeah, and if it's Lydia, I'm gonna kill that bitch, all right?

Erica: We have to test her first.

Isaac: - Kanima -

Jackson: Hey, testicle left and right. What the hell is a kanima?

Coach: All right, listen up. A quick warning before we begin our review. Some of you, like McCall, might want to start their own study groups, because tomorrow's midterm is so profoundly difficult - I'm not even too sure I could pass it. Okay, I need a volunteer at the board to answer the first question. Who's got it, huh? Come on, let's go, buddy.

Jackson: Paralyzed from the neck down. Do you have any idea what that feels like?

Stiles: I'm familiar with the sensation.

Scott: Wait - why would Derek test you? Why would he think that it's you?

Jackson: How should I know?

Stiles: Wait, do they think it's Lydia?

Jackson: I don't know, all I heard was her name and something about chemistry.

Coach: Jackson! Do you have something you want to share with the rest of the class?

Jackson: Um - just an undying admiration for my - my coach.

Coach: That's really kind of you. Now shut up! Shut it! Anybody else?

Scott: How do we know it's not her?

Stiles: Because I looked into the eyes of that thing, okay? And what I saw was pure evil. And when I look into Lydia's eyes, I only see 50% evil. All right, maybe 60. You know, but no more than 40 on a good day.

Scott: Stiles, that's not a very good argument.

Stiles: I'm aware of that, but I swear it's not her. It can't be, all right? Lydia's fine.

Voice: Lydia.

Coach: Okay then, anybody else want to try answering? This time in English?

Scott: What is that, Greek?

Stiles: No, actually, I think it is English.

Scott: Derek is not gonna kill her without proof.

Stiles: All right, so he tests her like he did with Jackson, right? But when and where?

Scott: I think here and now.

Harris: Einstein once said, "Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity; And I'm not sure about the universe." I myself have encountered infinite stupidity. So to combat the plague of ignorance in my class, you're going to combine efforts through a round of group experiments. Let's see if two heads are indeed better than one. Or in Mr. Stilinski's case, less than one. Erica, you take the first station. You'll start with - I didn't ask for volunteers. Put your hormonal little hands down. Start with Mr. McCall. All right, next two.

Scott: Whatever you're thinking about doing, wait. Give me a chance to talk to Derek.

Erica: Why don't you talk to me instead? That's funny. In school, you guys act like you're broken up, but she's all over you.

Scott: I don't know what you're talking about.

Erica: If I were Allison, I'd be wanting you - All the time.

Lydia: Never? You never get jealous?

Allison: Why would I?

Lydia: Because of that thing happening over there. That requires some jealousy.

Scott: You're not my type.

Erica: I'm exactly your type.

Harris: Switch.

Allison: Listen to me, okay? Don't talk to Erica or Isaac.

Lydia: Why?

Allison: Just don't.

Harris: Let's go, girls. Next station.

Allison: Trust me, all right?

Stiles: If you harm one perfect strawberry blonde hair on her head, I'm gonna turn your little werewolf ass into a fur coat and give it to her as a birthday present.

Isaac: Really? I've never actually been to one of her big, invite - only birthday parties. I did ask her out once though.

Stiles: Sounds like the beginning to a heartfelt story. I'm gonna pass, thanks.

Isaac: It was the first day of freshman year -

Stiles: And you thought everything was gonna be different for you in high school, but she said no.

Isaac: Yeah. Yeah, she even laughed. Told me to come back when the bike I rode to school had an engine, not a chain.

Stiles: Mm, unrequited love's a bitch. Maybe you should write about it in English class, you know? Channel all that negative energy.

Isaac: Nah, I was thinking I'd channel it into killing her. I'm not very good at writing.

Harris: And switch.

Stiles: Aah.

Harris: If you're trying to test my patience, Mr. Stilinski, I guarantee it'll be a failing grade.

Allison: What are you gonna do to her?

Erica: Don't you think the better question is what's she going to do to us? I have to say, you guys are cute together. But you know, I've always had this feeling like I'm a little psychic. I just don't think you're going to last.

Allison: You think you can hurt me by sliding your hand up his thigh?

Erica: Would you like it better if it were your thigh? Come on. Girl fight in lab. It'll be hot.

Harris: Time. If you've catalyzed the reaction correctly, you should now be looking at a crystal. Now for the part of that last experiment I'm sure you'll all enjoy - You can eat it.

Scott: Lydia!

Lydia: What?

Scott: Nothing.

Scott: Derek's outside waiting for Lydia.

Allison: Waiting to kill her?

Scott: If he thinks she's the kanima, then yes, especially after what happened at the pool.

Stiles: It's not her.

Scott: Stiles, she didn't pass the test, man. Nothing happened.

Stiles: No, it can't be her.

Allison: It doesn't matter, because Derek thinks it's her. So either we can convince him that he's wrong, or we've got to figure out a way to protect her.

Scott: Well, I really don't think he's gonna do anything here, not at school.

Allison: What about after school? What if we can prove that Derek's wrong?

Stiles: By three o'clock?

Allison: There could be something in the bestiary.

Stiles: Oh, you mean the 900 - page book written in archaic Latin that none of us can read? Good luck with that.

Allison: Actually, I think I know someone who might be able to translate it.

Scott: Uh, I can talk to Derek, maybe convince him to give us a chance to prove that it's not her. But if anything happens, you guys let me handle it, okay?

Allison: What does that mean?

Scott: That you can't heal like I do. I just don't want you to get hurt.

Allison: I can protect myself. What? Did something else happen?

Scott: I just don't want you getting hurt. Seriously, if anything goes wrong, you call me, okay? I - I don't care if your dad finds out. Call, text, scream, yell, whatever. I'll hear you and I'll find you as fast as I can. We have until 3:00.

Stiles: Ah. Sorry. Sorry. Sensitive trigger on that.

Lydia: Butterfly. Butterfly. Butterfly. Butterfly. Butterfly.

Ms. Morrell: Lydia?

Lydia: Danaus plexippus.

Ms. Morrell: Which is the scientific name for -

Lydia: Butterfly.

Ms. Morrell: Lydia, what's it gonna take to get you to open up?

Lydia: I don't know what you're talking about. I am as honest and open as a person can be.

Ms. Morrell: Huh. I would've said wolf.

Matt: So who do you know that can get into your house?

Jackson: What do you mean? Like, break in?

Matt: Or someone who has a key - Who also knows how to edit out two hours of footage out of a tape and knows how to loop it.

Danny: I can do it. I write my own software, and I know your mom forgets to lock the kitchen door.

Matt: I could've done it too, considering it's my camera. Actually, we could've done it together. All right, I gotta go to my next class, but, uh, I'll be back later to help if you guys want it.

Danny: Definitely. What?

Jackson: Got a little crush going on there?

Danny: No.

Jackson: Mm.

Danny: Shut up. It doesn't matter anyway.

Jackson: Why's that?

Danny: Because if you haven't noticed, he's completely obsessed with Allison, so - Whatever. Anyway, this is gonna take a couple of hours.

Jackson: So you can't tell me who did the editing?

Danny: Is there anyone else you know who can get into your house?

Jackson: Yeah. Actually, I do.

Ms. Morrell: Do you mind me asking where you got this? A book?

Allison: Um, a family heirloom.

Ms. Morrell: Interesting family. I'm pretty familiar with most romance languages, but this is a little out of my reach.

Allison: Can you give it a shot?

Ms. Morrell: All right, um - "Kanima - " Do I have that right?

Allison: Yeah.

Ms. Morrell: "Like the wolf, its power is greatest at the moon's peak." Huh. Sounds like a werewolf. Oh, there's some words here I don't recognize.

Allison: Just try. Please.

Ms. Morrell: Could I hold onto it for a bit?

Allison: Now is better, please.

Ms. Morrell: All right, um - Okay. "Like the wolf, the kanima is a social creature, but where the wolf seeks a pack, the kanima seeks a friend."

Allison: "A friend," what does that mean?

Ms. Morrell: Maybe it's lonely.

Allison: Like a teenager.

Scott: I want to talk to Derek.

Boyd: Talk to me.

Scott: I don't want to fight.

Boyd: Good, 'cause I'm twice the size of you.

Scott: True. Really, really true. But wanna know what I think? I'm twice as fast.

Derek: She failed the test.

Scott: Yeah, which doesn't prove anything. Lydia's different.

Derek: I know, at night she turns into a homicidal walking snake.

Scott: I'm not going to let you kill her.

Derek: Who said I was gonna do it?

Derek: I don't know why you think you have to protect everyone now, Scott, but even so, Lydia has killed people and she's gonna do it again, and next time, it's gonna be one of us.

Scott: What if you're wrong?

Derek: She was bitten by an Alpha. It's her.

Scott: You saw that thing up close. You know it's not like us.

Derek: But it is! We're all shapeshifters. You don't know what you're dealing with. It happens rarely and it happens for a reason.

Scott: What reason?

Derek: Sometimes the shape you take reflects the person that you are. Even Stiles calls her cold - blooded.

Scott: Well, what if she's immune? What if she's got something inside of her that makes her immune to the bite, which is why she didn't get paralyzed?

Derek: No one's immune! I've never seen it or heard of it. It's n - it's never happened.

Scott: What about Jackson?

Matt: That is so bizarre.

Danny: What?

Matt: My camera's having some sort of glitch - slash - meltdown.

Danny: It's a lens flare.

Matt: Yeah, but it's only happening on one player - McCall.

Scott: That's why you tested him, isn't it? Because you gave him what he wanted, didn't you?

Derek: Scott -

Scott: Peter said the bite either kills you or turns you. You were probably hoping that he would die. But nothing happened, right? And you have no idea why, do you?

Derek: No.

Scott: Well, I have a theory. Lydia's immune, and somehow she passed it on to Jackson. You know I'm right.

Derek: No!

Scott: You cannot do this!

Derek: Look, I can't let her live! You should have known that!

Scott: I was hoping I would convince you, but then - I wasn't counting on it.

Isaac: Where is she?

Lydia: If we're doing a study group, why didn't we just stay in the library?

Stiles: Because we're meeting up with somebody else.

Lydia: Hmm, well, why don't they just meet us in the library?

Stiles: Oh, that would've been a great idea. Too late.

Lydia: Okay, hold on -

Jackson: Lydia, shut up and walk.

Coach: McCall! Get over here! You know I'm gonna require an explanation for this.

Coach: You know there are certain responsibilities to being a captain of a lacrosse team.

Scott: Co - captain.

Coach: Okay, partial responsibilities.

Scott: Where did you find these?

Coach: Under the bleachers, and you know somebody's gonna have to pay for them.

Scott: They're Danny's.

Coach: Oh, great, mystery solved. Why don't you tell your buddy Danny to take care of his equipment, or I'm gonna make you take care of his equipment for him. Now, do you really want to be taking care of Danny's equipment all the time?

Scott: That depends. Are we still talking about lacrosse pads?

Lydia: If we're studying at Scott's house, then where's Scott?

Stiles: Meeting us here, I think. I hope.

Allison: Thanks.

Jackson: I needed to talk to her anyway.

Stiles: Uh, there's been a few break - ins around the neighborhood. And a murder. Yeah, it was bad.

Jackson: Lydia, follow me. I need to talk to you for a minute.

Lydia: Seriously? What is going on with everyone?

Matt: Hey, McCall. Thanks.

Lydia: You okay?

Lydia: So -

Jackson: So you never gave me back my key.

Lydia: What? Wh - y - your key? That's what you wanted to talk about?

Jackson: Why didn't you give it back?

Lydia: Are you kidding? I'm attacked by some lunatic who bites me. A lunatic who, by the way, still hasn't been caught. I spent two days freaked out of my mind walking around the woods naked, all of my friends are acting like total nutcases, and you expect me to be worried about some stupid key?

Jackson: So do you have the key or not?

Lydia: Not.

Jackson: You just lied to me.

Danny: Dude, what did you do to my pads?

Scott: Me? You're the one who was wearing them.

Danny: No, I wasn't.

Scott: What?

Danny: I was in goal, remember? Different pads.

Scott: Then who was wearing these?

Danny: Someone who owes me a new set of pads.

Allison: It's me.

Scott: What's wrong.

Allison: You need to get here now. Right now.

Scott: Okay, I'm leaving now. On my way.

Stiles: Oh, jeez. What are you doing?

Allison: I think - I think I have to call my dad.

Stiles: No, but if he finds you here - you and Scott -

Allison: I know. But what are we supposed to do? They're not here to scare us, okay? They're here to kill Lydia.

Jackson: Where's my key, Lydia? It was you, wasn't it? You edited the tape.

Lydia: What tape?

Jackson: The night of the full moon. The recording. You came into my house - into my room - and you saw what was happening to me, so you took the tape from the camera and you edited out the most important part. I don't know why. Maybe because you wanted to take that from me, my moment, like you take everything. Or maybe you just thought you were protecting me. But it was you, wasn't it?

Lydia: I don't know what you're talking about - But if you need it so badly - Fine.

Lydia: I hate you. I hate you so much.

Jackson: No. No, you don't.

Lydia: I should. I should hate you. Don't.

Jackson: Lydia.

Stiles: I got an idea. Just shoot one of 'em.

Allison: Are you serious?

Stiles: We told Scott we could protect ourselves, so let's do it. Or at least give it a shot, right?

Allison: Okay.

Stiles: Look, they don't think we're gonna fight, so if one of them gets hit, I guarantee they'll take off. So just shoot one of 'em.

Allison: Which one?

Stiles: Uh - Derek. Yeah, shoot him, preferably in the head.

Allison: If Scott was able to catch an arrow, Derek definitely can.

Stiles: Okay, uh, just shoot one of the other three then.

Allison: You mean two.

Stiles: No, I mean three. Where the hell is Isaac?

Lydia: What was that? What's happening?

Allison: Get back. Someone's trying to break in, okay? Go. Lydia, go! Jackson?

Lydia: Hi, I - I need the police.

Allison: Stiles, it's here!

Erica: Hmm - this might make me sound like kind of a bitch, but I've always wondered what it feels like to steal someone's boyfriend. I bet it's a pretty sick rush of power. I think I might try it with Scott. You know what - I don't think it's gonna be that hard, because why would he be waiting around to steal 10 minutes with you, when he can have me anytime he wants. You didn't really think that would work, did you?

Allison: Actually I did. I thought you were psychic, bitch!

Derek: I think I'm finally getting why you keep refusing me, Scott. You're not an omega, you're already an Alpha of your own pack. But you know you can't beat me.

Scott: I can hold you off until the cops get here.

Derek: Get them out of here.

Lydia: Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?

Scott: It's Jackson.